"They could not understand me when I explained to them that poker is the only game that you don't play against the house. Where it's actually possible to make bets where you have the edge."

Another troll with his first post, hope you don't mind.

First, NWB, I have much empathy for what you are going thru. My Dad was an alcoholic for many years, gambled if he could, generally hated himself so much he had to put everything in his life at risk before getting help. He got that help and 20 years on is a wonderful grandfather to my daughter. And it is the reason why I love him today. He swallowed every kind of **** for his family.

My location says "in my head", and that's where I live, just as you do. Many posters here have alluded to the many mental illnesses you may be suffering from, and I know from first hand experience they are correct. I battle every single day to keep it between the ditches, and have so far no succumbed to alcohol, drugs, etc.

And then came poker. I realized immediately that I will not ever posses the self-control to win at poker, so I have never ventured above micro stakes. Good for me, right? The gift I have received from playing poker is the insight into my own personality, and life around me. I understand now why my business of 15 years failed, even though I am an expert in every facet of it. I MAKE BAD DECISIONS, simple.

I, like you, thought I had an "edge", because I made a whole bunch of money when I was quite young. I then spent over a decade trying to figure out where it went and how to get it back.

You, my friend, no more have an "edge" at a poker table than do the grannies playing slots, but will not accept that. Your honesty and intelligence compelled me to write, in hopes that I can encourage you to get help. You will never defeat this on your own. Ever.

I am grateful to you, not because I like degen stories and need a thrill, but it is a good reminder of how much worse off I could be in a heartbeat.

Please stop thinking that any of this relates to poker. Time to post on AA forums and play cards for fun with friends.

All the very best to you.

(And feel free to ban me haters, I ain't never cummin' back anyhoo)

wow i offered you genuine adice and help and that is the response i get?

You clearly are delusional so many people who know more about the game than you will ever know yet you refuse to take their advice?

YOur arrogance makes me laugh, people want to help you and you get defensive and just act like you know best.

I really feel for you cos i was in the same boat as you a year ago, search my previous threads i made and youl see me playing big pots thinking i knew it all. Regs of the cash game said my plays were terrible and my style was a sure way to go bust. BUt i didnt belive them i thought i was the man cos i was raking in 4 figure pots.

It doesnt take a rocket scientist to work out what happened to my roll...

You dont even play cash games you play plo mtts. The varience in thoses games are massive so im told, and yet you refuse to except the fact that your most likely just a fish on a heater..

There is a reason why they are called donkaments my friend, cos they get suckers like me and you to think we are the next big thing but we aint and you need to wake up and realise this.

Please please stop playing, you clearly lack the mindset to do it and your straight up denial is going to grate with people soon especially as they have been helping you.

Understand there is no hate for you from me and i am not actually trolling (first time ever) it just your story reminds me so much of me

keep on trucking 8-)

jay b

Addict.

Don't take it personally, they are how they are.




Please ban me, seriously, I can't stop posting, two in 24 hours.

Op has renewed bankroll, watch out guys

If you're constantly losing thousands of dollars at poker that you can't afford to lose then don't play poker - Just grow the **** up and have some self control, ez game

nice, gogo OP

lol, as has been said many times, variance in PLO MTTs is much greater than cash and probably even 100x bigger than live NLHE. also your graph isn't that impressive and a pretty small sample size.

how do you think you'll celebrate a big cash? or deal with a brutal suckout on the bubble?

isn't standard BRM rules for MTTs 100buyins? how do you plan on building that up?

wow a $37 score! Those stakes sure missed out!

moran

NWB- It has taken me a while, but i have read every post and every message. I have seen your hi's and what some might call low's and yet here you stand still kickin'. It is quite tough to quit something that seems so feasible (poker). All it takes is watching an episode of High Stakes Poker or a friendly card game to get the blood bubbling again. I wont rap on you for what you did or what you NEED to do. I respect you in that you put yourself out there and have told a story. A story that could have a different ending than what those may believe. You could look back on this 5, 10, 20 years later and laugh and say man, I couldn't be the person I am today if it wasn't for the acts I did back then. Just like poker, you can apply it to life and learn from your mistakes. Keep on keepin' on! All the best...

p.s. Veggiemite rocks!

What's up man, still alive?

update please.

Well.... I'm back where it all began:



Yep, back for more string pills, plastic lunches, and experimental drugs. This time around, they are much more strict about confidentiality. The use of camera phones is strictly forbidden, but hey, I got a thread to save. Details about the drug, or the study, cannot be revealed. I can't even tell you what the reimbursement is, but it's nice.

It's strange being back. Unpacking my gear, organizing my possessions. Very strange indeed. Blood and urine has been taken, and I have about 18 hours of downtime ahead of me. I just re-downloaded Stars as the old software no longer worked (it's been a while since I've used this laptop). I haven't played poker in a couple of weeks, I have some money in there if I get bored. I have two books I am looking forward to reading. I have the internet. I have weeks of 2+2 to catch up on (from 15 chips to 12k.. so sick!!). Life is good.

Everything has been going really well for me since I stopped drinking. My car is f*cked, something electrical, and needs fixing. In the meantime, I have my bike, and I am loving riding everywhere. It has not taken long to feel so much healthier. If I listed all the ways that being sober has improved my life, I'd be here a while. It's been 6 weeks since I had a drink. To some that may seem meaningless. To me, it marks the longest I have gone without a drink in 10 years, and it is only the beginning. What I felt at my first meeting has only grown, and I am thankful to learn that staying sober is nowhere near as impossible as I thought from all those years of trying alone. For many, it is too hard to admit that the party is over. For me, the party was over a long time ago.

To the person that sent me that private message, you have no idea how much you helped me. I'm sorry I haven't responded, I wanted to wait until I could reply properly - I actually left your message open on my computer for two weeks without turning it off. Just wanted to say a big thankyou and you have been another big eye opener for me.

I thought it made you weak if you ended up at Alcoholics Anonymous. I have learned that it takes balls to face up and take that step, it that's what is required. I have gone to meeting after meeting, met people of all ages and all characters. And you know what? They're all nuts. Just like me. They have shared the stories of their journeys with me. Journeys of all types, of madness, violence, despair, carnage, destruction, vigilantism, asylums, wild parties, benders, bikers, prisons... I am privvy to the most crazy stories around, and I have a few of my own too. I've visited jails, talked with murderers, sat withsome rough company. I've ridden 30km's in the pouring rain to get to a meeting, been hit by a car and sent flying into a mud puddle, laughed it off and continued on. I dunno, things are just really good. I am incredibly lucky that I am only 26, and still possess the youthful energy to combat this disease head-on. So many people I have met have lost entire decades from their memory that they will never get back. Me, I've just got a dumb misspent youth that I'm ready to leave behind.

glad to see you in good spirits, keep the mental strong and good luck.

thats the way never, keep the **** on truckin' bro. With you all the way since the start and I certainly applaud your steadfast sober behaviour but its not over yet...you still have this new test to push through then keep your feet grounded with the handsome roll you acquire as a reward for completion. I don't have to tell you how to do what you gotta do, just do it son!

Congrats on your sobriety NWB. Do you expect this stay to be harder or easier the second time around. Did you bring your N64 with the sweet screen splitter this time. Oh yea almost forgot pics of nurse boob or GTFO.

Great to hear that you found a way out of your misery. Now all it takes is a whole life of determination and resilience of staying on track and not taking the easy way out.

Hope for your sake that this new drug trial is not secretive because the drug they're giving you is got some messed up side effects. Hopefully you don't end up growing a second ballsack. That would probably not be a pleasant experience to go through.

Are you going to make a new thread or keep building on this one? Since you can't reveal much info about the study i guess i might have answered my own question.

pics of nurses or gtfo

Are you going to be making > or < than your previous study?

lol sick (pun intended)

glad to see ya riding the hell outta that bike too. its a very healthy positive habit.

keep on keepin' bro.

Glad to see you in good spirits and an apparently healthy frame of mind. Wish you the best NWB. (Also, liking the beard.)

Guinea pig part 2!!

Can you at least reveal how long you're in for? I'm looking forward to more hospital stories

Dude i lost 150k gambling and was homeless your story is ****ing peanuts ha

share...

Nurseboob!!