original poser be strong and continue going to alcoholic meetings.

i would bankroll you but you would just waste it on more alcoholism. will pray for you instead.

my mama used to drink lot so i know this disease, made her mad and sleep with lots of men.

I read this entire threat today and feel like i know you, my prayers to you.

edit: whatever you do, do no sleep with men for $$ to buy alcohol.

As far as I know noone has "blamed" anything on these things. The original poster has simply come to terms with the fact that he has a severe problem with alcohol. And yet you feel the need to spew bull**** about something that you know nothing about.

Please do some research on the physical properties of alcoholism and how some peoples' bodies react to alcohol differently.

It's a bit irresponsible of you to make such judgmental and bold statements without knowing anything of the subject. I work at a rehab center and you would be surprised at how many people there are with complete control of other aspects of their lives - i.e. successful businessmen with tireless work ethics - who have a baffling inability to use "will power" when it comes to alcohol or drugs which makes it quite obvious that it's just a matter of "will power". There is a lot of ignorance on this matter, i.e. the South Park episode on alcoholism. It is not such a simple matter of "just control yourself!" It's not that easy.

Put all your money on 13 and you will be right back in the grind, imo the best thing to do..!..

original

Hi NWB

Lurked and enjoyed your thread a while back, now sorry to hear about how things are going. Haven't been there myself, seen a vast number of people who have, but kudos for booking into AA. Puts you in a better position than many many people.

Also if:

is true, then now's the time to detox for sure in case you're skirting round the edges of some nasty health probs.

Best of luck

Don't be sorry, I'm glad to have finally woken up. I'm in a good place right now and intend to keep it that way.

Made it through my first non-alcoholic weekend in months, and it has been 10 days since my last drink and blackout. Have attended AA every day, sometimes two meetings a day, and have met a lot of people from all walks of life, I even went inside Yatala jail and sat a metre away from convicted murderers (talk about an eye-opener). It was pretty crazy, and was great to be able to walk out of there... I will not be turning back now. I even went to a bar on Saturday night, which is a big no-no in these early days, but a close friend who had 14 months of sobriety had relapsed and was playing a gig and I wanted to see him. I was not even tempted to pick up, such is my will from attending meetings. It was important for both of us to talk, we both needed it. And the night was awesome. I remembered stuff lol. And saw in various others, the person I have been for too long, stumbling, drooling, abusive, pathetic. Even gave a ride to a very drunk and lost soul who otherwise would have been stranded - something I couldn't have done in the past. Just wanted to say that things are really good for the first time in ages, even my 5k heater didn't feel this good. I am finally addressing the real issues in my life, thanks to AA.

So don't feel bad mate, you learn from the past, and if you face it honestly you can grow from it

I am read up through march, right after you got out of the trial. This thread is awesome and the above quote makes me want to keep reading badly! but unfortunately I have to go out for a while.

I want to thank you for sharing your story so openly, it has been very entertaining so far.

I have a lot of questions but I will save them till I read the rest.

Glad you're liking it man. When you get halfway through page 13 (around post 1250), read this and it will kind of make sense:

http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/54...ng-ga-1043919/

But no skipping ahead! Hah. Cheers man.

Hi,
Read most all of your thread...quite a ride you're on!

It seems like young men who are hellbent on destroying themselves always finds the slope downhill well greased. I stole that line from somewhere...but I digress.

I don't know you but am happy for you that you are making strides to get back up...very +EV.

I offer this suggestion: before doing anything ask yourself if this thing will be life +EV or -EV...

Addictive behaviors such as poker is -EV for you right now imho; this forum included. If you need someone to write to any one of us would by email or pm.

GL on your new found sober life; and remember there is someone up above...

Hi "Never Was Been"

Have just finished reading the whole thread... One of the best threads i ever read here, but the part where u loose ur monney again made me sad

U mentioned before that u couldnt enter study, cause u had to high bilirubin.. Do u know what it is? That should be enough to keep u from drinking!

I know the degen fealing of blowing money in things which u really cant afford to play. It is like forbidden fruit u dont have premmision to take. I know the fealing. There are ways to stop this, one of them is to set a goal, like: i keep playing at micros til i get my bankroll to 10K, and then if i get it to 10,2 K i can degen the 200§ dollars on sunday million or whatever. To casino games, really dont ever try to play them again! U must addapt in ur brain that u are playing against the casino=-ev - which u allerady know, but u must begin to think that people playing this games are tards, and the only way u ever want to be in a room with those games is to laugh of rich people giving they money away to casinos, knowing that u are cleaver, and one day the thing will turn around, and u will be the rich one.

When u get some money, u will probably play poker again. I dont think u are cabible of keeping away from it. But please, do like i told, and set some goals and stop this casino games crap. I would suggest that u only play low stacked tourments online and keep cash games live.

lolz...

Drug trial round 2? That will keep you away from the booze!

most epic rollercoaster thread i've read on 2+2, very interesting read.

The end result seemed almost inevitable especially after reading the posts about his 13 day winning streak live.. it's obv easy to handle upswings, its the downswings that test you and make you monkey tilt.

The worrying thing for me is that you kind of remind me of myself in ways, albeit i don't play stakes as big as you or monkey tilt as much, I do drink a lot and rage pretty intensely at times and shot take/chase losses. Been working on this a lot and have atrip planned to melbourne for 2-3 weeks during the Aussie Mills next year, hopefully I don't degen off the rails over there.. lawl, may make a thread about the experience

great another mouth-breather like huggins has come along?i expect you want some handouts dont you boy?

keep on trukin 8-)

jay b

GC NWB

Just caught up with your thread spent about 4 hours reading it all.
I don't understand what needs to be done to help you. As has been said many times
I think you should give up on poker/gambling find a job and get a REAL life.

you're not making it up brother.... you're "living" it up lol....

+1

Story is finally taking a turn for the better.
To me this entire thread has read as an ask for help.

...Sounds like you've finally found what you've been looking for.

Don't look back.

read the first few pages and last few pages.

OP, do you have a sponsor? Do you know in your gut you truly want to be sober? Attending meetings is great, but it will not keep you sober. I'm going through the steps right now and hoping and praying (to what I dunno since I don't really believe in god) that the steps will bring about that change that people have.

As for the people saying alcoholics=weak people. That may be true for some alcoholics, but then again I know several non alcoholics who I think are "weak people." I would put my job/my university grades, and my intellect up against yours anytime.

When I drink, a craving starts that makes it very hard to stop. I never drank to escape, I drank to satisfy a craving that was simply beyond me.

Still off the booze, been over three weeks. This is good.

Mate I wish! I'd jump at the chance to do that again. I've been ringing them every week, but they aren't running any trials at the moment. If anything comes up there will definitely be a sequel.

Yeah man. Although I lost all my money playing roulette not poker, a downswing would have inevitably struck, and who knows how I would have handled it. Alcohol and an uneven temperament really don't equate to any kind of long-term success.

Best of luck with the Aussie Millions http://forumserver.twoplustwo.com/im...ons/icon14.gif

This thread was started back in January, I think you're a little late pal.

ty.

Thanks man. And thanks for your PM. I need to sit down and check that sh*t out.

No, I don't have a sponsor yet. I think I'm waiting to meet the right person, and I think I'll know them when I see them, or when the time is right. It's such a strange concept for me, but hey, this is where I'm at. I can be man enough and admit I need help, but reaching out and actually asking someone to help me is a different thing altogether.

Yes I know in my gut. More specifically, I want my life back, I want to know who I am when I wake up in the morning, instead of being struck in the face with the fear of what I might have done the night before, who I may have upset, where my car is etc. The party was over ages ago, now I have to sit with old people and drink coffee for the rest of my life haha. Nah it aint really like that. Truth is, these meetings are among the most interesting experiences I've ever had. Pure honesty and courage. I feel lucky to be able to be a part of it.

For now I'm just attending them when I can, which is pretty much whenever as I don't have a job. The steps are a little bewildering, I'm just taking that side of things as it comes.

Ahhh... the phenomenon of craving. It is a power beyond all reckoning. Take me away to that dark place, I am at your mercy. I don't miss that.

Yeah man, weakness is the furthest thing from what I see in those rooms. It is only the ignorant that would make such an error of judgment.

***

On the poker side of things, I have played a few tournaments when I have been in need of something stimulating and engaging to take my mind off of everything. I've been playing ok, cashed in one, bubbled a couple of others, won a 7 player limit Omaha tourney and scooped 100% of the prize pool ($70). Of course I then played a $27.50 2x chance MTT and blew the majority of that. Guess I still have a brm problem sigh. But if I can work through my other sh*t, then maybe there's hope?

I have restricted myself from all cash games and all sngs (hyper turbo husng's are the bane of my tilt susceptible existence). I can now only play MTT's, which is what I have the most success with anyway, and they are what I enjoy the most (probably a correlation there). I will post again sometime in the near future if anyone out there still finds all this interesting. I don't mind, it allows me to reflect on things, and as always I have no problem answering any questions. Now if you'll excuse me I'm gonna go back to watching Massimiliano Martinez humiliating Phil Hellmuth.

Keep posting bud! If you are serious about sobriety I suggest getting a sponsor. I have been in and out of the rooms for several years. First go around, I didn't get a sponsor for the reasons you stated. It is strange asking someone that. Like you said, I think you will know in your gut who to ask. My sponsor right now is an ex heroin addict, who basically told me, "look here's how its gonna be, im gonna be your sponsor and let's get you ****ing sober." I just said, "ummm OK." But I knew the guy would be good for me.

Oh, and think of how much money you will be saving! I traveled Australia (Sydney, Melbourne, Cairns) for 8 months and remember thinking damn, alcohol is crazy expensive here. Especially Liquor, which is what I was drinking.

That's just more $$$ to manage a bankroll.

Best of luck to you, mate!

Yeah booze is crazy expensive over here. It's just insane. 8 years ago I remember rocking up to a gig with a powerful thirst, their drink specials were: $3 shots of house liquor, $1.50 schooners of beer (medium size glass). First order of business was 3 shots of whiskey, 3 beers. For $13.50. Oh boy. Only took me 20 minutes to get totally sh*tfaced. These days, you try ordering that and they'll slug you $8 a shot and $5 a beer (or $8 if you get a regular size beer). $100 minimum to get sufficiently hosed, and that doesn't take into account the unpredictable purchases that are made in a blackout. Or the fines for drunk and disorderly. Or the doomed visits to the roulette table. These days I just shell out a few coins to the bowl before the smoke break at meetings, hell at the rate I'm saving money I'll have the roll for the Stars Sunday PLO tourney! Oh wait, you need a form of income for that. Doh!

Didn't you read the thread? He became a guiney pig for a lab to fund his gambling and booze. Jared on the other hand got tens of thousands in handouts. His phony charity work and bogus "free hugs" to suck money out of people is nothing like OP's efforts, not to mention entertaining story.

Wow I don't even! /thread!