Hi NWB,

The things that make us content in life can't be gotten in an instant. It seems like going from 10k to 5k makes you unhappy, but it's just money, you won't starve if you have 0 (in Australia anyway), and you can't base your happiness on how much money you have or don't have, it's just not important in the grand scheme of things.

I agree that taking all your money and travelling is a great plan. If you really plan on playing any poker you should have a quarantined amount, which if you bust you'll just not play anymore. It sounds though like poker isn't for you, but that's no great shame because there's a million things to do in the world. You also won't need a visa most places you go unless you're staying for quite a while.

Fear holds a lot of people back from doing what they love and or completing their dreams , do your research and conquer yourself and the rest will follow. Remember that the struggle is within. I have been following the thread throughout and wish you the best.

VACATION! Please! Check out caravan.com's 10 day costa rica vacations. it was really great and inexpensive. be sure to go a few days early and bang lots of cheap latin american hookers. oh, and stay a few days after and bang cheap latin american hookers!

i vote for toe amputation

UHHHHH, not good. He'll just fall back into degen'ing at the nasty little casinos there, which would defeat the purpose of why he is considering a trip.

By the way OP, maybe this is the time in your life where some sort of a journey is the right move - I know for me when i took off and traveled it was an amazing, life changing experience....but maybe it's not, and is just plain old running away form your problems escapism. In life we never really know what was the choice until after the fact. Just like cards....

Maybe sticking with school is the best course rite now, and perhaps this recent episode with taking the same path will cause you to learn and adjust - it does seem like you are aware of the reality of your actions, at least post situational.

Two last thing - This "lack of focus" thing - this very well may be something you have to deal with forever and most likely will not be resolved by any one trip or experience.

And lastly dude, your sentiments and thoughts have been interesting and endearing for BBV dwellers.....but you may want to seriously consider the weight of any advice you receive here. Or at least look other sources for input that you can also consider before you make any serious decisions.

I wish you the best, cheers.

NWB not posted to u in a long while, busy at work at the mo so can't give you much, head up for now though and when i get a chance i'll write a detailed response, my thoughts and all this is defo turn-roundable take it from someone who's been there!

Defo thread of the year btw.

- Sell off all personal holdings
- travel to Phillipines
- Degen off life savings playing poker

Start new thread:

BEAT: Lost everything playing poker, have become human sex slave for gay porn company in the Phillipines to play more

"Hope"? No, delusion is the appropriate word. Seemingly, everyone but you realizes poker is a problem for you and not a part of the solution. There is no doubt whatsoever you need a break from poker.

However, it's clear you are unable to make a break from gambling, even for a short duration.

Also, what good is it to travel if you intend on taking your problems with you?

So, you plan on traveling, playing poker on the road, studying college courses, and "searching for something" all at the same time? How do you plan on finding time to eat and sleep?

imo you should narrow your focus a little bit and work on one or two goals at a time. You seem to be going in too many directions at once.

I work at a hospital (hence my original interest in your thread). If I heard a patient utter this phrase (or one similar) I would write the following in their chart:

"potentially at risk for self-harm". You would then be visited by a mental health professional for a proper evaluation.

Perhaps I am reading too much into what may be merely a throw-away line, but I have a very sincere question for you:

Are you depressed? Have you ever been diagnosed with depression? Are you familiar with the symptoms? have you ever considered suicide? Do you have anyone close to you that you could speak to if you began to feel depressed?

Also, it is highly probable that alcohol could be the very basis of all the mental difficulties you are going through. Alcohol is a depressant, and if it is an addiction for you I highly recommend seeking help. If you continue to drink, it will swamp all your efforts at regaining some normalcy in your life and potentially cost you everything.

Time for an honest look at your drinking imo. It seems likely to me that alcohol is a substantial factor in the negativity and unhappiness you are feeling right now. Quitting is the only option.

Truthfully, you need to resolve the issues with your ex-gf also. Dragging that **** around with you is not an intelligent way to deal with your feelings and it's clear that negativity should be faced and put behind you, one way or another.

Anyway, before college I spent years traveling and I can say those were among the greatest times of my life. It is difficult to describe the extent of self-knowledge I gained and how much adventure I experienced.

I think traveling may be a great idea for you, but only you know for certain.

Good luck whichever way your road goes, man.

Always Rivers,

U R trying to talk sense to the dude and he just doesn't want to hear it. He thinks his "supporters" are those who encourage him to play more. He needs to wrap his head around a simple concept: He sux at deh pokerz......

loss:-3994. -45BB/100. "You're right BA, time to put childish things away"-north dallas forty

Get a job.

Quit poker.

Go to college.

Get a career.

Get a wife.

Get a family.

^Thats a nice boring life you're suggesting there.

Agree 100% with this. In one ear and out the other. This is not the least surprising to me, although I felt it was a small sacrifice on my part to throw my 2 cents out there for him.

NWB alone makes his decisions and he alone will live with the repercussions.

Well said. As for the thread, it's quite telling that most serious posters dropped out of it long ago. As you say, NWB is deaf to the solid and heartfelt advice that has been given to him in this thread.

I suppose my contributions have also run their course, unless something is directed specifically to me.

Good luck to all.

Always Rivers Me, your post was awesome

Do what I did when the poop hit the fan.

Go work on a cruise ship.

Get paid to travel around the world, work your butt off, save money since you seem to have very few bills at home. Plus, crew members can't use the casino, so you'd be hard pressed to find a poker game. It's also a ridiculous amount of fun. Like, really ridiculous.

Read the entire thread with interest--definitely one of the best and I've been lurking and reading 2+2 for probably seven or eight years now. OP is a really good writer, smart, creative, lots of good qualities.

But you are not cut out for poker. Or drinking.

These things are very clear to anybody with half a brain. The question is whether you will ever truly take the steps necessary to heal and get completely healthy so you have a chance of functioning and having a happier life.

I was someone who for about five years or so was hit with the poker bug, convinced I could make a living at it if only I was able to conquer my tilt and impulsiveness. But you know what? It never happened. Eventually what happened was I got a wife and started following my passion--writing--and realized there was a much better chance of success for me as a writer than a poker player...

And now I'm writing full-time, I've finished an indie film that was bought by a small distributor and will be On Demand, iTunes, etc. I did this stuff AFTER I gave up my silly dreams of poker greatness...

You don't have what it takes to play poker, my friend, and anyone reading this who knows anything at all, knows it too. You are the guy who sits at the table and the pro's mouths water because they know eventually you'll wear down, tilt, and blow your stack. They will stay until they get what's coming...

As for the drinking, you've made it clear in this thread that the drinking has led to some of your greatest losses in life. You've done a lot of reckless things while under the influence. It goes hand in hand with poker recklessness and is a sign that generally you don't have the mindset for these kinds of activities. Sorry, some people just can't go there and you appear to be one of those people.

So what's left? A lot of stuff. Exercise, which you seem to enjoy--traveling, writing, being creative. You are a really good writer and could make something of it if you try. Meet a good woman and settle down a little. Try to enjoy the freedom of a disciplined life without substances and reckless behavior. You've done the insane debauchery to death already, so how many more years of it do you need?

Time to start a new path, time to get clean and get your head sorted. I believe you can do it, and that if you sober up and start figuring out what sustains you creatively and as a person, this whole period of your life will just be a distant, bad memory.

Good luck, this was a great and legendary thread!

Good luck at whatever you decide to do. I'll still be following along for whatever it is.

Since you asked for advice, here's mine from the poker side: Stick to tournaments if you feel the need to play. Set a buyin:bankroll ratio rule and stick to it. If you can't follow that rule, then you probably shouldn't be playing.

I also lose horribly in cash games and get tilty at times. Doing that in a tournament, we only lose 1 buyin instead of loads of money that happens when re-loading at the cash table. Judging from the thread, it seems like you're ahead in tourneys and WAY behind in cash.

You dont want to be a poker pro, you just want to be anything other than you.

ouch.

Better then being a human guinea pig and maybe getting your toe amputated?

bravo!

NWB, take the advice of whoever told you to take that $5k and buy about ~10lbs of weed (depending on quality/price) and turn it into as much as possible. You're down in the dumps right now, and have nothing to lose. I'm not sure how the laws in Australia are about drugs, but it can't be much harsher than here in NY. The worst that will happen is you'll catch a felony for posession, but if it's your first offense, you'll get probation. Getting probation gives you one more shot, to correct your mistakes and not get caught the next time. PM me for advice.

I feel bad for ya, and I only read the first and last page of this thread. I wish you the best of luck bud!!

Edit: just kidding about the "pm me for advice" line. And I do not promote the sale of narcotics.

SchererBoy = Five-0!

Thats what you get for playing omaha. Sane men play NLHE

10lbs of weed for 5g's??

must be some ****in **** weed

when you live in a ****ty area, you sell more schwag than premium. and when you buy quantity you get it super cheap. so I hear.