Benny,

How are you doing?

Does anyone here know anything about Ibogaine treatment that would like to post? I just saw an episode of Law and Order: SVU about it, and was just curious. I read the wiki on it but would love to hear if someone has actually tried it.. it sounds intense.

I think there is a documentary on either vbs.tv or current.tv about this treatment.

I would love to try ibogaine, but it sounds like it is super hard to find, and/or way too expensive. I first heard about it from Law & Order. kinda weird.

I'm kickin again... on the subs. I got a check in the mail shortly after I got back home, so I slipped a bunch last week. Not sure what my plans are. keep bouncing with the idea to move home for awhile or just get a job and see what happens here.

Benny, if you're serious about kicking this stuff and living you'll move home.

How many friends have you watched die? Time to get clean.

he's not... sorry to be an ass Benny but lets not kid ourselves....i might not be a heroin addict but i can at least tell you that "lets see what happens" probably isnt the best mentality to have right now.

Isnt going back and forth screw up your levels of tolerance to the point that its not unlikely for you to OD?

be honest... whats the real odds that you could die in the next few months?

If your head isn't dedicated to this 110%, your plan will fail 110% of the time, Benny. I know you know that, and i'm not mocking you or trying to talk down to you in any way. PM me if you wanna talk man.

livinitup,

While you're technically right about the OD risk, it's not quite as bad you think. If he were going a few days in between each time getting high it'd def be more of a concern, but I'm assuming he's not having gaps larger than 48 hours in there... I could be wrong, and I of course hope you're being as careful as you can, Benny.

Layzie have you ever tried ketamine, if yes what is your take on the drug?

Thanks

Do you only want to quit because you can't afford enough to avoid sickness all the time?

Killua,

Yes I've done Ketamine many times and it's probably my favorite high. I have a tough time handling any drugs at this point in my life other than pot, but K is something I had alot of fun with in my life.

I'm definitely not advocating that it's safe and healthy or anything, though... just better than LSD, X, mushrooms, etc in a recreational sense in my opinion. FWIW i'm a major downer person obv.

Ok cool, I have tried it recently in clubs after taking mdma and the high as been pretty intense...

In my experience it is even better as an enhancer to other chemicals, but I enjoy doing it by itself as well. I have alot of friends that would prefer not do it unless already under the influence of something (MDMA in particular).

LOL "prefer" not to do it (but do it anyways)?

But, seriously, do you have any thoughts on ket + alcohol? Reason being, the only times I did ket was when ket was sold to me as X. Since I enjoy drinking when doing X, it has never been very pleasant, to say the least...

I don't drink so I don't really have any valid comments on that, sorry.

Sorry, I just read #293 itt where you said you don't drink.

Best of luck to you.

Don't drink or do any downers on Ketamine. The reason it is used is unlike most general anesthetics, it's doesn't completely inhibit respiratory function. Combining it with something else which can inhibit respiratory function is a horrible idea.

Also, K is best done in a bed by yourself K-holing. All the K use that goes on at clubs is hollow and doesn't fully allow you to experience the fully psychedelic dissociative effects.

Here's a link to a full book on K written by an MD if you want to learn more: http://www.maps.org/books/K-DreamsKJansenMAPS.pdf.

Great read probably only exceeded by DMT: The Spirit Molecule.

LAYZIE- Thanks for making this thread. My brother ODed on heroin quite a few years ago(supposedly it was a hot shot). That is the only thing that has ever kept me from doing heroin. I have done almost every other drug recreationally. I feel like the problem with heroin is that if you arent close to someone who is trustworthy its a very dangerous game. I wouldnt know if I was getting a good deal/ great deal/ or straight robbed. I would really like to try it once although I know that in its self is a very dangerous game. Anyways I dont know what Im asking but any tips on use would be cool I guess

Wait, your brother died from using heroin so now you want tips on how to use heroin? I mean, I don't want to be crass and I know what a hot shot is and all, but seriously wtf?

I guess the best tip would be to don't even bother trying it. But if you do, then use a clean needle and don't do it alone. Not really sure what you're asking either.

don't do it boozy for real. I can't believe you are even contemplating it with your brother ODing and all. I can understand that thought process I guess though. I've always had a self-destructive personality. I wouldn't wish my condition on my worst enemy though, so for you to kind of know what you would be getting yourself into, and still end up using would be ridiculous.

Though one could say to me, "hey you've had a heroin induced stroke, you've died multiple times (5 day hospital trip included), lost countless friends, two best friends, and you are staring at the clock right now waiting for the mail to come cause you know there will be a check for you so you can go get high in about 3 hours? makes sense"

but I already have the monkey on my back. you don't. seriously don't **** with this ****. You'll try it once, and be like, "wow, that wasn't so scary, and damn that felt good." and you'll tell yourself, "hey, i can do that again, no worries, i'm a strong person."
and, before you know it, cause you won't know it, you'll be hooked. You'll never forget.

Oh and to respond to LivinitupO, you really cant offend me. I was almost offended when you said you want me to go to jail, but I'm sure we come from two totally different backgrounds and lifestyles, and I can appreciate a difference in opinion.

No, I am not totally fixated on quitting I guess. I'm planning on getting high today, so **** me i guess. I'm not looking for acceptance or words of encouragement, the main reason i've been so honest is to hopefully steer others away from the path I have ultimately chosen. I'm doing way better than I was a couple months ago, as in I'm not getting high every day, but after today, i'm gonna have to quit, cause I will have no money for atleast two weeks. rent is coming up here....

And to the risk of ODing. Ha, I'm a professional bro! (this is sorta a joke, since i've OD'd a couple times in the past. it's been years though...) When I do speedballs that's about the only time I really push it. which I'm not going to be doing. But, to be honest, I personally wouldn't care if I died, but, knowing it would destroy my parents I try my hardest not too. I'm super careful when it comes to using. I never share any gear and I live by this motto "you can always do more, you just can't do less." as in, once that needle is emptied into your vein, there's no going back.

benny

well, it's kinda like this. the first methadone detox I did, a couple or few years before I got on full-time, there was this counselor. he looked at me, all of 23, asked me a few things about my life or whatever then kind of point blank said 'you haven't suffered enough yet' and he was right. There was more to the conversation but that was the main point I believe. It's easy to rattle off a few things and make it sound hard. That **** can break you down much further than you ever thought you could go. You may not get straight--until there's no other choice. Everybody has their breaking point. Doesn't sound(or look it by those pics) like you're anywhere near it yet tbh.

you hear these horrible stats about how few people get straight long term. somewhere within yourself you have to find the will to know you'll be one of those few. it's not going to happen by accident, you're going to have to do it. Don't think you'll do any of those things you say you'll never do? OK.

wet work,

Great post.

are you saying i haven't hit rock bottom wet work? what the ****? I've hit rock bottom so many times. I've been a hardcore heroin user for 7 years. the one time i quit and made it 2 and a half years was because of "hitting rock bottom."

I don't believe that a person has to hit rock bottom to truely quit. that is just stupid AA/NA babble. I'm broke, unemployed, about to be homeless, have more tracks than i can count, lost everything I love, hate myself to the utmost degree. I still can't lift my right arm above my head without sharp pain due to my stroke. so **** that rock bottom ****.

sorry about that last post. i'm sick right now. I just don't like when people tell me what is right or what they know is best. Everyone is different. I don't mean to be in attack mode, but for you to say I'm no where near my lowest point is just silly. you don't know **** about me. no offense bro, i've appreciated your comments. I just don't think that there is ONE right way for anybody to quit. When it's all said and done, the user is the only one who can truly know what will work for them.

But Benny, you know right now that you need to remove yourself from the opportunity.

You may have hit bottom, but the ultimate bottom is dead. Time to choose to live.

Another thing: As a Mom, the thought of my kid courting death like you are would pretty near kill me.