As my good men from POD say "every day is a new day". You can beat this crap.

damn mexicans


dont forget the audio/picture slide slow that goes with it.

I'm sad that I missed the legality part of this thread, but here are some facts for you:

1. Prescription drugs kill more than twice as many people as illegal narcotics, and

2. The pharmaceutical industry spends more money lobbying Congress than any other group. They outspend the #2 lobby, oil companies, by more than $100 million

well what if they are taken at 20x the rate of street drugs?

this is annoying no matter what.

Then I guess they both kill a whole lot of people, but that street drugs kill roughly ten times as often on average?

Math is idiotic.

Stay off the drugs kids. Take it from me. I did the research for you.

25,000 days aren't enough to throw any of them away.

Rushmore,

Your participation and enthusiasm in this thread is admirable and very much appreciated.

An update on my end: Current plan is to return to the recovery center, but this time I won't be in full blown withdrawal mode. I'll probably be there for 7 days, and will be attending three 45 minute classes and an NA meeting each day. Also, hopefully this will help me form a normal pattern for my day to day life... eating 3 meals a day, sleeping on somewhat of a schedule instead of just going to sleep at random times, and just getting myself moving and getting the blood flowing,

I've decided i'm making the pilgrimage up north to my parents house. I'll admit i relapsed last night. I was sober for almost 40 hours, without suboxone or dope and it was bad, but not as bad as i thought it would get, which led me to getting 20 bucks from a friend. I didn't even get high just so you all know, but i definately felt better.

I have a friend from my home town taking me to my parents house tomorrow. He says he's got a suboxone if i need it, which i think i will. I tapered too quickly with getting high every other day, so this time i'll be away from any dope for a week and that's plenty of time to taper the sub.

I didn't want to admit that i slipped, but I figure there is no reason to lie to a bunch of strangers. I'm kinda proud of myself that i've gotten this far. As in my withdrawals the last two days were comparable to day 6 and 7 if i would have quit cold turkey.

i know a lot of people are thinking i'm just fooling myself, and maybe i am, but i am still extremely committed to quitting.

I spent all night last night after i got home watching all 6 episodes of "The Corner." I got to admit, that might be the best show that really shows dope for what it really is. I'm sure there's others out there, but compared to trainspotting and other movies like that, it seemed way more real.

man i've been awake since sunday morning and i aint sleeping any time soon.

benny

Benny,

Keep on it man. Like you said no sense in not admitting it, we're here to help if we can...

Do your parents know what's going on?

just curious layzie, what's your motivation to going back to the treatment center if you're through the main withdrawal period? just to remove yourself from your environment?

I've always had a huge mistrust of treatment centers and NA. from what i understand they seem to push the idea of some higher power, and accepting that is the only way you will kick.

I think it's important to avoid the same environment that triggers using right away, but you gotta face the **** eventually. Even when i was sober for 2 1/2 years just seeing the color orange would get me into a frenzy. (the needle tip covers are orange). I just taught myself to hate everything that does that. but like i said before, i would hang out with my old junkie friends just to prove to myself that i could do it. I don't know if that's a good recommendation though. That had nothing to do with my relapses though. sounds ridiculous but it's true.


benny

They've known in the past, and have busted me recently for being high, but i blamed it on percocets. I'm a strong believer in not letting your family know everything, because they'll just worry more. I understand you totally do not agree with me on that.

It's just when i OD'd and woke up in the emergency room like 5 years ago, my whole family found out. It's been 5 years and I still see the pity/concern "how are you doing?" "but how ARE you doing?" questions. I've never been high around the rest of my family other then my parents like i mentioned a couple times.

at family functions I feel that they talk to me just because they are supposed to. It really ****in hurts me deep. Like huge!! I'm really into my family, and I've always considered myself extremely trustworthy. I've never stolen to get high EVER. i've only lied about not getting high (or down playing it to vicodin or percocet). My parents are the main driving force for me to want to get sober. I'm an only child, and I could not think of the pain it would put them through if I died. well I've died a couple times, but I mean for real.

benny

Yeah, the removal from environment is a biggie for me. I'm just trying to accept what's going on and reminding myself that there's nothing wrong with asking for help, and that doing things completely on my own is not going to work.

I understand what you mean about the higher power thing. I don't participate in any type of group prayer, and just usually try to be respectful to the religious people instead of trying to push my beliefs on them. That would make me just as bad as them. I have no problem joining hands and bowing my head, I just have never been into religion in that kind of way and have a hard time wrapping my head around it.

But think of it this way, a higher power doesn't have to be a religious thing. Think of it in a spirtual sense if that works for you, but don't let being non-religious be your reason or excuse for not going to a treatment center..

I think i'm the only addict who thinks drinking is ok. I'm from Wisconsin, everyone in my family drinks. some more than others, but its totally accepted. I find alcohol is the best way to combat the cold/hot sweats. after like 5-6 drinks you don't feel that anymore, and it makes it easier to sleep.

I'm an alcoholic and a junkie though which is rare. I don't mix too much though. I know my limits. I just had to resuscitate a friend last week cause he was wasted when he shot up and fell out. I never understood why people do that.

But I'de rather be a drunk than a junkie. It's always something. I'm sure some of ya all will trash on me for drinking, but ****, better than the alternative. and alcohol does not make me want to get high, if anything it does the opposite since i've had to deal with people mixing and ****in up.

by the way I'm a professional at CPR. **** certification, i've done it atleast 5 different occasions with 100% success rate!

Benny, the hot and cold sweats are hard for me to deal with. I lost about 25 pounds over the last year or so thanks to my habit, and I get cold really easily I guess because i'm just skin and bones. I can't even picture my stomach handling alcohol during detox, but I don't and never have been a drinker. I'm sure you know this but alcohol withdrawal is deadly due to the risk of seizures.

I'm not here to preach or give you a holier than thou attitude, but you have to know deep down that the alcohol is going to end up causing you more problems, Benny. I'm glad you're trying though, man. Don't let that desire to clean up fade away. Keep it with you, keep telling yourself that you can't keep living like this... PM me if you need anything.

Yeah I shoulda worded that better. I'm agnostic, i'm not saying there isn't a higher power. And that's not the only reason from keeping me from going. the temptation for me to use is just as strong 5 days sober as it is 1 month sober, just as it is 6 months sober. So I just feel that removing yourself temporarily is all good and dandy for the short term, but it's not solving the actual problem, just prolonging it. I've had many friends go through rehab, and not one of them is sober. The one friend who has made it, just did it herself.

I've known others who dabbled with junk, but never got super hooked who didn't need rehab either. I quit for 2 1/2 years without help.

sorry if i'm sounding insensitive, I just think of rehab as a crutch. kinda like a co-dependent thing. Ex-junkies get so caught up on being ex-junkies that the NA seems to become their drug. I think you got to leave all that in your past if you want to make it. It just seems like a different way of taking the easy way out, a temporary fix for a live long problem.

I was thinking about starting like a general addiction thread. I don't want people to think i'm blogging here, or that I have to be the focus of this thread. There's a ton of people here that want help, whether they're well known posters, lurkers, or people who would rather remain nameless. I think it'd be cool if we had a thread where we can all help each other, and post status updates on our recovery.

Anyone have any thoughts on that idea?

i don't see anything wrong with being an alcoholic. I've had alcohol withdrawals. it's no fun. but because of that, i don't drink as much as i used to. I'm just saying i've been getting ****ed up for the majority of my life. I like alcohol, I think it can really be a problem, and I'll admit i used to have a problem. But i don't buy bottles of whiskey anymore. I'll take a shot here and there but you got to understand, it's different in Wisconsin. we have a different outlook on alcohol.

**** i think it takes 4 DUI's here before you get a felony!

yeah sorry, i'm not trying to hijack your thread, I just didn't want to start an identical one. I PM'd you about that though

I completely understand your point of view about rehab, benny. I don't necessarily agree but I understand where you're coming from. My first time getting clean, I did it on my own and lasted for a couple years as well. I'm not saying it can't be done, by any means, but its definitely tough.

No, you're welcome to hijack...that's what I was getting at. I don't want people to think this discussion has to be focused on me, that's why I was thinking maybe a new thread for addiction would be a good idea.

Wow i just reread my posts. Sorry i didn't mean to sound like I'm the authority on kickin'. I'm just stating what's worked for me and how i feel. I'm not saying my techniques are the only way. (obviously they haven't worked the best so far so ...)

I like you Layzie, and I wish you all the best as well. please don't think i'm trying to attack you or your ways. I'll be the first to admit, that only you can know whats best for you.

benny

Dude, you're good, no need to apologize for anything. Say what's on your mind, you're not offending or attacking me.

Performing CPR on a friend sounds like something I should do at least once in life.

dude the hot and cold sweats are insane to deal with. yeah I lost 60 pounds from using, but i've put about 15 back i think. I'm 6'1'' and about 215 lbs so I gots me a belly, and i still get the hot and cold sweats so friggin bad. having the extra weight I think makes the hot sweats worse than the cold ones though, well i don't know. does that make sense?

all five instances are the top five scariest moments of my life though. they were all close friends. I don't feel like a hero or anything. ****, i was the one shooting up a couple of them. I was so scared that i killed my best friend. It's not a fond memory. seeing your best friend frothying at the mouth blue as ****, is no good. not to mention putting your mouth on theirs. closest i've come to gay, ha

it's kinda funny when random people bring up CPR though, and I'm like yeah i've done it. people get all excited to hear about my story like i'm some hero, but then I tell them the truth, and it dont feel so good. I have a sick sense of humor though

I didn't mean to imply that it'd be euphoric or anything, it just seems insanely scary/thrilling to the point where it's twisted enough for me to find it awesome.

It's a terrible feeling. I had a friend overdose in my presence years ago, and I didn't even really know what to do. He luckily woke up on his own before the ambulance arrived, and he pulled through.

I personally have never fallen out or anything from heroin, probably because it's not very strong in my area most of the time. Usually it takes someone taking a trip up to DC, Baltimore, or the Tri-state area for there to be above average quality heroin in Hampton Roads, VA.