Hey Benny,

Nice work and congrats on your clean time. Just keep putting more and more days behind you one day at a time... the fatigue will go away eventually.

On behalf of a dozen more lurkers, I have been following this thread since post 1 and I am rooting hard for you guys.

This is one of my all time favorite threads. I hope you guys know you have hundreds of unseen people in your cheering section.

This.

Congratz Benny and Layzie, good job guys!

I start my out patient rehab today. woo hoo!

good on ya. mind explaining what all that entails? thanks and gl.

Great news.

Stay on an even keel. Stay away from things that you know might cause an undue emotional response. Stay away from (like they say) people places etc. that might trigger that stupid ("just one fix") thought.

Don't identify yourself as being "in recovery." You're "Benny." You used to be an addict, and now you're not.

Sometimes all these well-intended people want you to stamp a scarlet J on your head, so you can never get out from under the entire sub-culture of drug abuse. They mean well, but, at least for me, I found it best to ignore them, get clean, and define myself however I chose.

Good luck. There's lots of great stuff in the world that you were never going to see or do if you stayed strung out.

Go see them. Go do them.

Disclaimer: If you want to do all that other Programmy stuff, that's cool, too. It works for a lot of people (it actually worked for me for a few weeks). Part of my point was that, for instance, the people I met when I was on maintenance Methadone were, in a way, a much sadder and more desperate crew than the rippers and runners on the street, and I DEFINITELY did not want to be crawling to meetings and/or clinics forever. Again, best of luck.

100% agree.

What advice do you have on how to help my brother? Or what can I tell my parents to do that will help him? I'm 3 years older than him at 24, and I just saw him today for the first time in months, as my parents are paying to keep him in college (and supporting him in every way) and his school is far away so I don't see him frequently. So I see he him today and he's high so I assume he has been using the whole time, which is now a few years. A lot of crazy **** happened when I saw him including him denying using anything, feeling my parents are always accusing him, yet claiming he loves heroin (to my parents), and he actually showed us he had bought and is currently using methadone. I know the reality is he has to try to quit at some point or he is going to live a terrible life or die, but there may be something I can do in the meantime? I feel pretty helpless, I'm going over there tomorrow to see him again and I'll just try to be his friend he can go to or confide in or whatever, but can I please get some advice on anything further you would suggest that I can do for him or for my parents, for myself?



Another note I want to include, this is really callous and ugly sounding, but I have ran the crash course of him dying in my head so many times, that I think it actually may be a relief in some ways if he dies. Sick thought. I mean I love him, but he's not sane at all, and you can't be around him without him exploding. He just shoves constant disrespect in my family's face and I feel so ****ing bad for him but I also hate him. His best friend who actually got him into heroin died about a year ago and he spoke at the funeral, he has overdosed and been hospitalized, he has been arrested but never been to prison.

TY, and gl Bennie, Layzie (ty for doing this), everyone.

Its definitely a disaster for him to be living by himself w/ his parents support. He needs to be brought back home, then sent to rehab.

as far as the out patient thing, I'm not really sure, I just had to fill out paperwork and do a self assessment. My actual sessions start next monday. it looks like it is going to be twice a week for 3 hours each, with counseling and group sessions.

Yeah, Rushmore, I know what you are saying about the whole addict thing. I understand where the people are coming from, but at the same time it kind of reinforces negative thinking if you ask me. I'm trying to look at this like it is just a part of my past, not by be constantly reminded how much I sucked at life. I know the idea of not letting the thoughts of "i'm cured now, so I can use maybe one more time" is their motivation for saying once an addict always an addict.

I got high "just one more time" thousands of times, so I'm fully aware of how stupid the "just one more time" thinking is. I still plan to go to a few NA meetings here, I went to one every night in rehab. I don't agree with their philosophy of NA is the ONLY way to stay clean, but it does seem to work for some people.

I'm trying to get into law school right now, i'm taking the LSAT next month. I'm happy about my life for once, this rocks.

I'm sorry to hear about your bro hERESY. The only advice I can give is that the only way he's going to get clean, is if HE wants to get clean. I was against rehab before I went, but now I'm really glad I did. Even though I'm another $6,000 in debt cause of it, I think it's well worth it. I knew I needed some help, so it made it easier for me to go in the end. Having a court order with 5 years hanging over my head helped too obviously. maybe an intervention with your family and him, or possibly a Commitment Order through the court. Those can both backfire bad, but I don't know your brother so it is hard to say.

Just moving your brother back home or talking to him about how much everyone else wants him to quit won't really work unless he is open to the idea himself. Sorry I would have more to say, but I need to get ready to go to work.

benny

:-)

grats Mr. Foldem and ty for the words of advice

bump, this is a thread I want to follow up on. I have followed it with interest and appreciate the efforts of Lazye and Foldem to get and stay clean and to share with others. Give us the good news would you????????????????

Wow, I forgot about this thread. Just kidding. My computer has been giving me issues so I couldn't respond for a couple days.

Anyway, I'm doing pretty well. Haven't touched any drugs for going on 5 months now. I'm working about 30 hours a week or so at my dishwashing job. Kinda sucks, but atleast I have a job I guess. Been playing a lot of poker when I can (my local casino only has cash games on thr, fri, sat nights), and doing well.

Still fatigued as hell. I'm sleeping, but I'm not feeling back to normal yet. I'm pretty sure I have Post Acute Withdrawal Syndrome. Might last a few years from what I understand. It doesn't really concern me though cause I figure that no matter how crappy or tired I might feel now, it's a 100 times better than being dopesick, broke, and looking to score. I've gained about 35 pounds too, ha!

yo Layzie, what's up with you bro?

any updates??

Huge grunch, read up to page 3 and saw that you said it was a felony conviction, so my question is, what kind of job do you have that allows you to have a felony conviction?

Paging Layzie. What's up brother? How you holding up?

After a couple pms I've returned to post an update. Bear with me please my only Internet connection iss on my phone and I have really bad eyes. I'm still clean and have relocated to wAldorf Maryland. I will post a longer updaTe soon. ThX for the suppoRt guys. I really suck with this phone typing...

iono, this thread makes the AA one priy redundant

im hoping the next "ask me about being a druggy" thread gets locked cuz this is the seminal thread, thanks for doing it

great news for me! I just got back from Milwaukee cause I had my case on Thursday. They dropped my charges since I complied with the Diversion Agreement they had me on.
I'm really excited, since I won't have any drug charges on my record now.

I'm still clean, still living up in northern Wisconsin with my parents, still washing dishes 6 nights a week, but hey, like I said, I'm still clean. This small town kinda gets to me some times since I really miss the city, but it's alright. I got a couple really good friends up here who are really supportive (old friends from grade school/high school).

I'm glad to hear from you Layzie. I'm rooting for you (and myself) more than my old friends who are still using/trying to quit. kind of weird since I never met you, but I think this thread has really helped me get through my **** in a way, unlike my old druggie friends. So keep it up brother!

Man, looking back on some of the posts I made earlier this year when I was still using are pretty embarrassing. I feel that I have changed quite a lot. thanks to everyone in this thread again for your support it means a lot.

Good for you benny - I read this thread a while back, and it's easy to tell just based on your tone in your writing how much happier you are about life now that you r clean. Try to remember how positive/good life is while clean compared to how bleak life looks when you r strung out, take care dude and thanx for sharing.

yea you could be living in the barrio in mexico while making a living from cockfighting

Nice to year from both of you, Lazie and Benny. I'm rooting for you guys.

Really nice to hear that you're both doing well!