just read this whole thread and found it really interesting and amazing. Thanks for sharing your stories guys and congrats on staying clean.

good luck for future guys

Hey guys, this is my first post on two plus two. Been lurking for a while reading poker stuff, found layzies original thread about going to prison and got interested. I myself am from Milwaukee and have 2 possession of heroin cases pending... I am also in recovery. I stay at a sober house in waukesha, and currently have 4 months clean this time around.

My drug use went pot and weed<psychadelics<pharmaceuticals(benzos, amphetamines, oxycontin especially)<to using heroin daily.

4 years ago I had been doing OC daily for about 2 years, had a huge problem with it, had 2 overdoses (one fatal PNB) and decided it was time to stop using narcotics. So i did an outpatient program and kicked them at home.
I was still drinking occasionally and smoking pot once in a while. 9 months into this I went thru a bad break up, and the drinking skyrocketed. within a year and a half I was drinking everyday, more then a Liter of hard liquor, and drinking to not shake. A year after that I was drinking up to 2.5 liters a day, my liver was shutting down, vomiting blood and bile daily, and shooting heroin 2 or 3 times a day alwhile eventually living in my car. I finally ended up cleaning up last may which lasted for 3 months; I went inpatient 5 weeks, then to a halfway house for the remainder of time. It wasn't long before I was drinking on weekend passes, missing my AA/NA meetings, and finally ending up copping more dope. I came back to waukesha and stayed at a Sober Living house for 4 weeks. I got kicked out for using. Within the 3 weeks I was out of the sober house, I got my first and second OWI charges, wrecked my car, lost my job, and was arrested twice for Possession of heroin charges. I'm still waiting on sentencing to come around, with any luck I'll get a year or two.
Sorry for the rambling, but I felt the need to post and say this above all things.
1. A drug is a DRUG is a DRUG. Alcohol is a drug, weed is a drug, Ok?
If you are a heroin addict or an alcoholic, and want to stay clean, you would be very ill advised to be smoking pot or drinking occasionally. It all leads back to square one.
you CANNOT be in recovery genuinely if you're using other **** to get high.
Note: I am however pro-legalization of MJ. I don't despise all drugs.
You guys that are struggling need to give it up. ALL of it. Including the alcohol and marijuana. It's the only thing that worked for me so far, in combination with AA/NA.
Also note that not everyone who uses MJ or even I guess heroin for that matter ends up an addict. But I truly believe that once you find yourself saying, "Wow, I'm a junkie." you need to stay away from ALL drugs to truly recover.

I have to disagree with this. You don't get "cured" from an addiction. Once an addict, always an addict. You may not be in active addiction, but you're still an addict.
Look up what the AMA says about alcoholism and drug addiction.
It's primary, chronic, progressive, and often fatal. It says right in the DSM about the different kinds of alcoholics. They have dif diagnosis for those that are actively drinking using/ those that are not using or drinking.
You don't suddenly wake up one day able to handle your ****. I'm talking about real addiction here mind you, not people that just abuse drugs heavily/ drink heavily. There is a big difference between the guys who drank heavily in college maybe even daily and put it down post grad, and say me who drank daily and continued to drink and use despite significant consequences.

There's a massive selection bias on the medical fields sample of people with substance-use behaviors. For this reason I don't put much stock into the axioms they've developed through their interactions with that sample.

But I don't care about all that. My question is to the dude that bumped the thread: what exactly (or approximately) was the dosage you took of OC when you overdosed? And your height, weight, and standard doseage amount at that time (if different from the dosage you took that time). Also, how did you ingest it?

Tolerance gets out of hand fast with opiates an I'm curious where the line might be between 'enough for an established connisseour to get high' and 'coffin-time'.

The first overdose was actually on heroin... I had been doing somewhere between 3-650 mg of oxy a day when I ended up going to jail for 45 days.(the issue being i came out with no tolerance and being used to using alot of narcotics.) When I got out I got a gram of relatively good heroin and proceeded to snort maybe a half of it over the course of the night mixed with some whiskey... maybe like an hour after the last dose (snorted) i just hit the floor and fell out. The jail friends I was with left me there and closed the garage door. Luckily my mom woke up early found me called 911 and started CPR before the medics arrived. I woke up 4 days later on a ventilator.
The next overdose was accidental as well.. I had been taking desoxyn and cocaine and klonopin throughout the night, mixing it with between 80-120 mg of methadone and about 200 mg of oxycodone. Those were all snorted. stayed up all night and went and got some 30mg IR's and decided to inject one before I drove home. Woke up in the hospital.

From my experience, the line between a good "nod" and not breathing anymore can be a pretty thin line.

As far as anyone wondering about trying heroin... I'd say dont do a whole bag or shot or dose at one time. Especially if you just picked it up. It's very common for us junkies to "taste" the dope before doing a full dose. You would do that by taking a smallish amount and snorting it or fixing it up. That way you can gauge what an optimal dose would be.

I'd say from experience with friends falling out, the most dangerous mixtures would be methadone and more opiates and benzos, or opiates and benzos. I've had 3 people i know die from that combination. I've also had to revive one due to them being on methadone then injecting heroin.

good luck with your recovery....ill post more later.

I've often wondered if it is the high of the alcohol or weed after quitting an opiate addiction that makes you relapse or the settings in which both of those drugs are used?

thats an interesting question. I think there are situations where that may be true.. like it comes with the territory.
but for me the biggest thing is using a chemical to alter my state of mind.
i am an addict, so when i drink or smoke it sets of this reaction in my brain to make me want to do it more. I'm like Oh, Ok, a few shots is good. Then I'm like it'd be nice to toke one. Fast forward a week and I'm like Ok, shooting dope isn't as bad as I thought.

I'm the kind of person that doesn't want what I can't have too much of.

found myself in a bad situation today. lets just say there was a sense of enablement (? lol if thats not a word) coming at me in every direction i looked....

...and im still clean!

Good for you man! temptation is hell sometimes. Realizing you're powerless is key. Once you do that you're gravy. It's the only step you need to work 100%

Wow, great news!!!!

Just read the whole thread (both of em) and I would love to hear an update from Layzie and Bennie. It looks as if Layzie really has it kicked this time and that really makes me smile on the inside.

Personally, I am trying to kick pot right now. There has been about a collective week that I haven't gotten high in the last 5 years of my life. I was always under the misconception that pot isn't addictive.

Obv. it's not comparable to opiates, but I've really been struggling to quit. I really have trouble with being anxious, uncomfortable, and bored when I'm not high.

I live by myself, in a city 500 miles away from where I grew up in. I have a handful of close friends, but they all get high in their free time. Long story short, I feel like I know I could kick weed if I had more of a life, yet I know deep down that I will continue to not have a life as long as I'm getting stoned all day long.

It's just that the thought of living sober seems very daunting and monotonous, and a lot of times not worth it. However, this thread has really made me thank my lucky stars that I'm never messed w/ opiates, and made me much more motivated to push forward.

/rant

How could a sober life be any more monotonous then what you just described?

I feel same as you about my weed use and what it does to my life when I smoke at home. When I go to see one my friends in DC or Atlanta I find no matter what I smoke I go out anyway. It all comes down to me needing an extrovert catalyst to get my introverted self outside. The weed just makes finding that at home harder. Maybe something similar is occurring with you?

Can one shot of herion get you insta hooked? Like say you walked in fresh and hadnt progressed from other drugs and you decided to inject herion, is it good enough to get you hooked?

depends on you.

i probably would want to do it again.

would you? like, if it's the best feeling you've ever felt, wouldn't you want to do it again?

I'm been off H for over a year and a half now. Still get urges all the time, like last night I had a dream that I was shooting a bunch of speedballs, and it was VERY realistic. Free high I guess with no consequences, ha. I still dream and think about it all the time, but I can deal with it.

I drink and smoke herb quite a bit though, so I'm not fully sober. I'm clearly way better off then I was 2 years ago.

in response to a post above:

Of course you can do it once and not be hooked, but why the **** would you want to take that risk? Not worth it imo. It's very easy to convince yourself you can handle it until you really are hooked, and getting dope sick and such.

I wouldn't wish heroin addiction on my worst enemy yo.

you still staying with your parents benny? sounds like you're doing pretty well.

Yes, I am. It kinda sucks, but it is a blessing too I guess. I've fully removed myself away from my old surroundings, but I feel like I'm not accomplishing anything other than staying off dope. I got some money saved up to move eventually, but I'm still trying to figure out what the **** to do with my life now.

I try to remind myself that my life is better now, but there's still this nagging feeling like, ''what the **** am I doing?'' -- I'm 30 years old with a college degree, and I'm cooking at a restaurant while living at my parents' house in some bum **** town.

Don't get me wrong though, I'm enjoying life for the most part. I've been writing music again and hanging out with a small group of old high school friends, but it just seems like I'm missing out on something.

Whenever I get down, I remind myself, that well hey... atleast i'm not shooting dope. But then I get worried that I'm using that as a cop out to not do anything with my life. If that makes sense.

Anyway, what's up with you Layzie? I've been meaning to PM you to ask how you are doing bro. In a weird way, this thread of yours helped contribute to me getting off dope man. It might sound weird, but I think I found this thread at the right time of my life (at the tail end of my heroin days over a year and a half ago), and it helped me evaluate my situation somewhat. Even though it's kind of embarrassing to look at some of my old posts I made when I was high as a ****ing kite, ha.

I really hope all is well with you! I owe you for starting this thread bro!

I've been doing really good... in the process of moving right now. I haven't really posted anything longer than a paragraph lately cause i've been browsing on my phone all the time. Still clean, but still smoking weed. It hasn't really been an issue, and I still have a rough time trying to sleep without smoking. I'm not on any sort of medication and have a lot of anxiety still...just hoping my brain will work it out over time..

What did you do about people you are good friends with but who are also addicts? Do you just cut them out of your life?

fortunately for me those two categories of friends didn't overlap much. the only addict friend i would consider to be a good friend moved away to get clean as well. but yeah, cutting off anyone that will enable you is really important.

Really interesting thread, I remember watching a documentary filmed by a heroin addict trying to get clean, definately worth a watch for anyone that is interested:

http://topdocumentaryfilms.com/ben-diary-heroin-addict/

If you don't watch all of it just watch the last 5 mins... really sad.

Why do you think it is that users of other drugs always seem to look down at heroin users?

I think that other drug users look down at heroin users because socially heroin is the most frowned upon drug and for them heroin is the lowest form of drug use you can stoop to.

Why is this though?