Broxktoon I'd like to request the next match tr please

Yeah I've been meaning to do this. They take a longtime and I've been busy lately. I'll try to write it up tomorrow.

I'd be afraid of forgetting details if it wasn't the same day. But I agree, your writeups are amazingly entertaining.

+1 always a good read

Speaking of write ups...how did the Niagara Open go with your group? Did I miss the write up or has it not happened yet?

Is it know who @secrettourpro is on Twitter?

I forgot to post a follow-up.
I went into the week with low confidence in my game, so didn't expect much. First day we played grand Niagara and I shot 86, the leader after day 1 shot 81. I crushed the long drive though and won like 70$. I got really drunk after the round at Tony Roma's and nodded off at a slot machine; did not win money's.

Second day I had a great warmup on the range so I thought I could get back into it, but I tigered it up on the first hole and was out of it almost immediately. A friend of a friend who came for the first time ended up being a lying **** about his game; he said he was a 13 handicap but I watched him shoot 76 in the second round and it looked like he did that on a weekly basis. However, the championship came down to the wire with another guy making a sick birdie on 16 to get it within 1, but he couldn't keep the momentum going.
It was a good weekend though and can't wait for next year when the new guy isn't invited back.

Van Courtlandt Club Championship, golfing while intoxicated edition. I played this match 9 days ago so we'll see how well I can remember it.

We were supposed to play at 3pm, I showed up at 2:30. The guy texts me that he is delayed and he wound up getting lost and hitting crazy traffic. As it turned out he didn't get there until after 4. So, I'm standing around the clubhouse with nothing to do, this course actually doesn't even have a range. The clubhouse is right next to the bar and they have a beer I like on tap. Yada, yada, yada, I'm 3 pints in by the time the guy shows up. When he gets there he is so sorry about the delay, that he says my beers are on him for the round. I decide to take him up on his offer. On to the golf:

Hole 1: Par 4, 370 yards
Me: Hybrid down the middle.
Him: Slice into right tree line.
Him: Bad punch, 50 yards short of green.
Me: Chunked GW, 10 yards short of green.
Him: Poor pitch, in greenside rough.
Me: Mediocre chip to about 20 feet.
Him: Chip to aobut 6 feet.
Me: Lag to 3 feet.
Him: Miss.
Me: In FTW, with a bogey.

1UP thru 1

Hole 2: Par 5, 619 yards.
Me: Pull hook left of left tree line in the rough. The 12th hole runs parallel so no danger of being lost.
Him: Good drive up the middle.
Me: Good hybrid advanced over 200 yards back up the 12th fairway.
Him: I don't know, because I told him to go to his ball as I was now on a different hole and couldn't see what he was doing.
Me: 7-iron from 171 that I had to fly over some tall trees, I needed to catch it perfectly to get it up and over and I didn't. Caught the top of the trees and came down about 30 yards short of the green.
Him: He is just short of the green on the fairway lying 3, I haven't seen his last 2 shots.
Me: Crappy pitch to back of green, 25 feet away.
Him: Good chip to 4 feet or so.
Me: Scared the hole but rolled out 5 feet.
Me: Bogey.
Him: Par.

AS thru 2 As we drive to 3 I pick up 2 more 16 ouncers.

Hole 3: Par 3, playing 165 yards.
Him: Came up short and left of green.
Me: Smooth 7-iron to 15 feet.
Him: Fails to get up and down.
Me: Easy par.

1UP thru 3 Things are about to get very hazy.

Hole 4: Par 4 364 yards.
Me: Poor drive into right tree-line.
Him: Good drive up the middle.
Me: Punched one out to about 50 yards short of green.
Him: ???
Me: Decent pitch to green.
Him: ??? Wound up making par.
Me: Bogey.

AS thru 4

Holes 5-9, my memory in its entirety is as follows:
- I made birdie on 6 to win the hole
- I was 2UP thru 7
- More beer was purchased between 7 and 8.
- I was 1UP thru 9

Hole 10: Par 5, 475 yards.
Him: Slice into right trees, possibly lost.
Me: Adequate drive into right rough.
Him: Provisional, also sliced, but findable.
Him: Lost ball, found provisional, playing 4. Punch lined directly into a tree and ricocheted OB.
Me: Easy 7-iron into fairway
Him: Conceded hole.

2UP thru 10 I am very much on the wrong side of the golf skill over beers drank graph, and I'm plummeting further as we continue moving right along the x-axis.

Hole 11: Par 3, playing 157.
Me: Horrible cut 8-iron into a nasty bunker short and right of the green.
Him: Weak shot short and right of the green, missed the bunker.
Him: Decent pitch to green, don't remember exact distance but I figured he was a dog to make it.
Me: Soft sand, ball was beyond buried on the downslope in the back of the fairly long bunker. I tomahawk chop my 56* wedge down behind the ball and it squirts out into the front face of the bunker before settling in a very awkward looking lie.
Me: Ball is in an unnaturally uneven lie, maybe an old footprint, back of the ball is covered. My opponent actually offered me the opportunity to rake the spot and re-drop it, which for some reason seems customary in this tournament. I declined and said that it's a hazard, and I'm playing it as it lies. Slammed my 56* down hard behind the ball again, it came out low and hot, took one bounce and hit the base of the pin square and hard. In the hole. Par.
Him: Miss.

3UP thru 11 I told him the golf Gods must have been paying attention. This calls for a drink.

Hole 12: Par 5, 572 yards.
Me: Decent drive to right rough.
Him: Good drive deep down right side of fairway.
Me: Pretty good hybrid over a hazard to about 75 yards short of the green.
Him: 3wd blasted into greenside bunker.
Me: Good shot to 12 feet.
Him: Good bunker shot to 10 feet.
Me: Miss.
Him: Made it for birdie.

2UP thru 12

Hole 13: Par 3, playing 171.
Him: Great shot pin high to 12 feet.
Me: Just missed green to the right.
Me: Failed to get up and down.
Him: Win.

1UP thru 13

Hole 14: Par 4, 391 yards
Him: Good shot that he laid up short of a hazard that runs across the fairway about 150 yards short of the green.
Me: Take driver attempting to fly hazard and catch a low neck slice. Right at the hazard.
Him: ??? probably on or in the vicinity of the green.
Me: Found the ball. I was fortunate enough to have hit it so bad, it stopped short of the hazard, but in thick grass on a pretty severe downslope. I proceeded to skull a 9 iron and hit a wormburner up the right side.
Me: I don't remember but I lost the hole. That makes 3 in a row.

AS thru 14

Hole 15: par 4, 302 yards
Him: Nice mid-iron to fairway.
Me: Punch hybrid (I am normally very reliable with this shot). Hit it solid but hooked it over by a native grasses area with long reeds and thick plants.
Him: Knocked it on the green, long putt.
Me: Had about 100 yards up a steep hill with a severely limited backswing due to long grasses right behind my ball. I took a PW and basically picked the club straight up and dropped it down on the ball. Miraculously, the ball jumped off the club and flew up over the hill and onto the back fringe.
Him: Good lag and a 2-putt par.
Me: had about 25 feet downhill pretty sharply. I hit this putt way too hard and let it get away from me a good 12 feet past the hole.
Me: Made the uphill come backer for par and the halve. This was a pretty clutch hole.

AS thru 15

Hole 16: par 4, 292 yards
This one is a total blur, but I lost the hole with some kind of inexcusable bogey. I probably 3-putt, I don't even know.

1DN thru 16

Hole 17: par 3, 190 on the card, couldn't tell you what it was playing
Him: Hooked it out to the left, there is room there.
Me: Smoked a 5-iron straight over the flag. This hole is way uphill so I couldn't see the ball land.
We both lost our balls!!! I have no idea how this happened, I thought they were both easily in play. This was totally bizarre. We went back to the tee and halved the hole with either 5s or 6s, who knows.

1DN, dormie We are losing daylight, I am now out of beer, and it has begun to rain.

Hole 18: par 4, 338
Him: Slice out to right, tree issues.
Me: Mighy lash with the driver, didn't quite catch it and wound up about 50 yards short and out to the right, well inside the treeline.
Him: A bit deep over the back of the green.
Me: 50 yards over a bunker to a semi-tucked pin and the entire green running away from me. I took out my 60* (which I never use because I hate it) and figured I had to throw this up as high as I could and land it just over the trap to have any chance of stopping it near the hole. I can barely see at this point so may as well just go for it. I caught it perfectly and it came out just how I wanted it. It felt like it was going through the air in slow motion, I loved the line and the trajectory and my eyes were wide with anticipation. It landed softly just over the brow of the trap and trickled in behind the hole stopping about 6 feet past.
Him: Mediocre chip from behind the green to about 10 feet.
Him: Miss. Bogey.
Me: I look at him like, "you really need me to hit this?" He realizes I have 2 putts from 6 feet and concedes the hole.

Extra Holes: We decided to replay the 18th, it is getting REALLY late.

Me: Skull slice OB!!!! Ahhhh, FML. I don't even like writing about this shot again. It haunts me.
Him: Safe down the middle.
Me: Good drive down the middle.
Him: I'm beyond caring, he hit it somewhere on the green.
Me: Another great shot from 50 yards, albeit from a much better angle. 7 feet for bogey.
Him: Lag to a foot, I don't hesitate and declare him the winner.

Thus ends my stay in this tournament in 2015. Very disappointing for obvious reasons. He was a nice guy, but I should have beaten him. I think I put off writing this one up because I didn't want to relive it. It was pretty frustrating going through it again. And for the record, I didn't make him pay for all my beers, that wouldn't have been right. He got me the first 2 after the 2nd hole.

So long until next year.

Normally don't comment on such, but this was a freakin' awesome read! Ah... made par.... don't remember how. 1up! LOL

BO

i second this. the format looks official, but the read is surprisingly fantastic.

cheers!

Lol I've lost 2-3 tee shots on #17 either just left or directly at the flag. I hate that hole, man.

(For anyone who doesn't know it, it's a long uphill par 3 where you can't see the green (or see any reasonable shot land) - just the top part of the flag usually.

17 at my home course is like that, except it's a par 4 and the approach is straight up the hill. Can't see dick when the ball is on the way, and often don't care enough to run up and get a look at where the pin is.

You play Vanny? Awesome, I figured no one was familiar with the course.

Yes sir, so your writeups are extra enjoyable for me. Actually playing Vanny tomorrow morning at an uncomfortably early hour.

Is Van Cortland nicer than Dunwoodie?

It's tougher. Nicer kind of depends on the day

Other Westchester courses:

Mohansic/Hudson Hills: best of the bunch, well maintained, usually most expensive, lots of blind tee shots so gotta play with someone who has played there before. bring bug spray to hudson no matter what time of the day or year.

Saxon Woods/Maple Moor: generally well maintained, not too difficult but some small greens and a couple interesting hole designs. These along w/Dunwoodie are in my usual rotation.

Sprain Lake: blows, most of the time.

Lol. I hate Sprain.

Playing Hudson Hills in about 2 hours

Great write-up Brock!

For the NY guys, I'm playing Centennial tomorrow. Love that place. Check it out if you haven't.

Never played it but have heard great things.

Btw Brock, pulled up to the par 3 7th at Vanny today and told my playing partner (a la Jordan Spieth) "this is the dumbest hole in golf." I normally feel blessed to bogey it.

(200yd par 3 with tiered green, and the pin tucked practically behind a tree line today)

Stuck it right in the middle and made a 15 foot birdie putt.

GOLF

The dumbest hole in golf is #9 at one fm the sister courses off course. Par 4 307 yards, SHARP dogleg. Can't drive it, can't hit long iron up shorten, can't hit 8 iron because it goes the tough the fairway.

You may tee off with pw. Anything past 125 off the tee is in the wispy rough. Fr there, you have a 200 yard approach to a tiny green protected w bunkers on all sides . Good course to never play