Call her up before the first date.

"Hey, let's play a fun game. We'll ask each other questions. You're free to say pass if you'd like. I'll start..."

If you got her on the phone, she won't say no to fun.

Lol at professional dating guy barging into the thread and getting shot down

So I'm on Plentymorefish now and I was under the impression it was free like its sister site, but it seems I have to pay to see the messages. Anyone on this site? Is it worth the subcription? If not I guess it's back to Match for me. OKC isn't really working for me. Might have too wacky a profile.

Can we just ban the dating coach guy now? It's aids to this thread imo. Yes slightly drunk but still.

My tr: cliffs are we had sex in her car

Met a woman off pof for a date. Was pretty nervous about it so I got there about fifteen early to scout a good spot and get a drink in me before she arrived. I texted her "I'm in the lounge area at a table. One of the few guys not wearing a cowboy hat and plaid shirt" since its the Calgary stampede here I kinda stood out. Everything is going well and she mostly talks. I tease her about her lack of chopstick skills since we ordered sushi. Nothing really stands out during our conversation. There are some silences but it gets filled naturally with conversation. Date started at 9:30 and ended at 1:30 a.m., a lot longer than I expected. I walk her to her car, chit chat a bit and we start making out. I say let's get in the back, she agrees. We have sex and we're exhausted after an hr. We part ways and I suggested next week we go out and have our race (I suggested a 100m dash, loser buys ice cream) so we'll see how it goes from here. I am still drunk so I'll add more details later or whatever lol. I was happy that I was nervous at first, learned to relax, be myself and take initiative to progress physically when it seemed appropriate.

It's funny we just started talking about getting trolled and out of nowhere this autistic dating coach shows up...

What the **** kind of drugs are you on?

DCC,

Are you ****ing ******ed? wtf?

Autistic Dating Coach Person,

Please keep posting ITT

Surely he's trolling. You gotta pay for his premium content obv

Possibly true, but what you're suggesting isn't fun.

Dating Coach Chau,

Ignore the haters! I'd like to read more from you

Regards,
garcia1000

- Hi, uh, it's Guy from that dating website

- Uh, hi. Are we still on for tonight?

- Yeah, but, uh, first, let's play a game. It'll be fun. We can ask each other questions.

- Umm...?

- First question: Are we still on for tonight?

Hello?

I hate being this racist but this is exactly what I'd imagine the advice would be from an Asian-American dating "coach". It's almost knuckle-bitingly cringeworthy.

I need some advice. (DCC, don't worry about responding to this one, I'll give you the day off )

Not 100% particular to online dating, since my relationship is well past the online dating phase, but since that was how it originated and I respect some of the posters in here, I'll give it a shot.

My and my gf have gotten extremely close extremely fast. Everything has been smooth and great and a lot of times I find myself wondering how the hell this is my life right now. Nonetheless, I have a bad feeling she is going to drop the L-bomb some time soon. There's a few reasons why I suspect this, most importantly being that the other day we were texting and she said something really witty and I responded "Grrrrr why do I like you so much," to which her response was "I knowww, me too!"...."Well, actually a little more than like...". There are a few other warning signs but I think you get the picture.

Obviously we've known each other for only 3 weeks, and although we've spent a ton of time together, opened up to each other pretty deeply and whatnot, I'm not an idiot and know that AT BEST we are in the middle/late stages of infatuation, let alone falling in love, let alone being in love.

If/when she does say it prematurely, I don't think it's really any kind of red flag or dealbreaker or anything of the sort, more or less just her feeling very strongly for me and not quite taking the time to carefully discern the nuances of these feelings.

Never been in this situation before as in the past I was always the one to say it prematurely, but lets just say I've learned from my mistakes.

So, if/when the situation arises, how the hell do I handle it? My main concern is making sure she knows that I am still as into her as she is into me. And my main question is do I bring up my little analysis that it is probably just infatuation on her part at the moment, or do I take it at face value and just explain my own position?

derada4,

#YOLO.

garcia1000

Ya I agree on the YOLO, but as LOUIS CK would say BUT MAYBE

There is a type of girl that, if capable of dropping the L word in same under 4 weeks, is capable of being...unstable. I guess the most important question for me at this point is how old is she, and how old are you? And them more important than that, how many friends does she have? Very few to none? Or a lot.

Half joking/half serious, does she have more than 1 pet at home?

It's a tough one. The first and only (first) time I've ever said it, I didn't really mean it, just wanted to mean it. And she said it back. And I felt great, or maybe just felt great because I wanted to feel great. But being faced with the prospect of her saying it first is a whole new ball game. Not saying it back to a girl who's earnest about it might just **** her up in the head somewhat and affect your relationship considerably moving forward.

My sister said it to her boyfriend a few months ago and he didn't say it back (although they had been going out for more than a year) and she didn't feel too good about it (although he may have said it since, not sure). Plus girls obv have their expectations laid out. They are very idealistic. If a girl has it in her head that she has met 'the one', to take that elusive, long-yearned-for ideal away from her can be damaging.

This might be controversial, but I say if it arises say it back anyway, even if you don't mean it. You might mean it in the future, and since you haven't known her for very long she hopefully won't use it to legitimise any weird-ass premature plans for your relationship like moving in together or whatever, in which case you could just say let's take our time, which she'll take far better if she 'knows' the love is mutual. The problem would be if she were to say it often after that, in which case you would be forced to perpetuate the lie which could make you feel ****ty in yourself.

Anyway, even if you return the favour it doesn't mean you are bound to some emotional contract. Feelings change, particularly in the short term. I would honestly do what it takes to keep her since it seems to be working so well, but that is coming from someone who can't honestly say he has ever been happy for a meaningful duration in relationships so I would value what it sounds like you have extremely highly.

Cliff notes: Blah blah blah

On a serious note, can we not have Chau banned? I get troll accounts and whatever, but he's actually selling his services. What's 2+2s policy for people who sell ****ty products in the marketplace? What if a poker coach is found to be full of ****? The same thing should happen here. The guy is awful.

I mean jesus, this "let's ask each other questions" sounds like something I'd have done when I was 14 and then wondered why the hell I struck out.

The reason is THAT'S ****ING LAME

rafiki,

She's 26 (I'm 24), has a very good job (pretty sure she makes 6 figures, if not very close), lives with 2 others girls who she gets along with very well, and keeps in touch with and often visits a lot of other friends (she moved to NJ from Long Island ~1.5 years ago). Not the kind of chick you would expect to be on an online dating site, hence me snatching her up in less than a week since she made her account.

Sandra,

Your third and fourth paragraph is actually exactly what I was thinking in my head. I've never naturally gotten along with and connected with a person like this before and its really not something I want to lose.

I think this is pretty key- if she has a terrible social circle for whatever reason and grasps onto guys for support, it could be a red flag

What the **** Sandra that is terrible advice. Absolutely do not tell a girl that you love her if you don't mean it and you care about her/are trying to date her. Women aren't puzzles, they are people. If a girl is telling you that she loves you within a few weeks of meeting you it's a pretty huge red flag but I wouldn't call for the skyhook just yet. Be honest about how you feel and don't worry about anything else yet.

Assuming you're being honest with yourself and think that you really are going down the track to a serious relationship and presumably may fall in love with her I would say something like "I think I am headed in the same direction, but it takes me a while to crystallize some of my stronger feelings. I think you're great and I care for you a lot, its just that my feelings are typically slow developing."

This could be terrible advice, but I think it is both honest and shows that you don't think she is emotionally unstable while explaining to her that you think she's awesome, but won't necessarily reciprocate the same way.

Ya I didn't want to spell it out, but for me this a dangerous type of girl to date. Flags:

-does everything/anything for you right away to make you happy
-has NO girl friends
-has 1-2 guy friends maybe (guys who probably just wanna **** her)
-dislikes her job
-would be happy spending 5 nights a week with you right away
-would probably say yes to living together in under 6 weeks

That's a trap. And it only springs much later on you, and it gets awful, particularly if you have lots of friends (both boy and girl) etc...

So maybe a few more details and we can narrow it a bit.

derada,

ill make a couple points, pre having coffee, see if they make sense:

- i dont usually use time as a benchmark for this kind of thing, i use events/experiences. how much youve done together, time youve spent together.
- has she met/hung out with your friends? have you met/hung out with hers? thats a big one for me personally, i dont think i would love a girl if she wasnt able to mesh with my friends.
- i think this is important, there is a difference between a relationship and love. you can have a great relationship with no love, and be in love and have a bad relationship. i say this because you can be in love and the relationship falls apart a week later. it doesnt mean youre terrible people and/or will never love again.

also +1 to rafiki

i have no problem with her saying she loves you after 3 weeks and you saying it back, but she could very well be insane. the two are not mutually exclusive