Online dating thread - Page 403 - Other Topics Forum - Discuss Pop Culture, Arts and Entertainment

All,

If you have any qualms about confirming (and I agree, I would confirm any first date IRL or whatnot if it was like not the next day), say something about changing the time.

ex- you were supposed to meet at 830.

6PM: "Got caught up at work/gym/traffic and it pushed my schedule back. I won't be there till closer to 8:45 now. See you then!"

That's a good one. I always confirm.

I've found out that the best way to handle the confirmation is to simply text her, "See you tonight at 7pm. Text me back if you get this message."

If she's still up for it, she'll text you back.

If she's not going to reply to your text message, she's not going to show up.

Quote

07-10-2013 , 10:11 PM

#10052

Fossilkid93

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 14,332

Quote:

Originally Posted by Otty_Botty

bahahahaha you shoulda just played along man. Would've been hilarious when you met up.

Sounds like the premise for a crappy RomCom. Of course in the movies, the woman is impressed and falls madly in love.

Quote

07-10-2013 , 10:13 PM

#10053

Chau Nguyen

newbie

Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 45

Quote:

Originally Posted by d10

Sent a hail mary text to my first OKC date this afternoon. We went out about 2 months ago but she stopped texting me a couple days later and we never got a second date. I figured it couldn't hurt to fire off a last chance text because if it fails I'll never see her again anyway and it's not like I'm going to get my hopes up waiting for a response.

She texted back apologizing for going dark and asking where/when to meet up. So now my hopes are up a little. I reply with a reference to our previous date and she's like "Wait, who is this? I thought you were [some girl's name]. I don't have this number saved in my phone." Told her who I was and it looks like she's gone dark again.

Damn that's cold haha. Just move on and get with someone else. There's a million girls out there.

Good story to tell at the very least.

Quote

07-10-2013 , 10:35 PM

#10054

LT22

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 12,842

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dating Coach Chau

Terrible passive pussy language

Quote

07-10-2013 , 10:36 PM

#10055

LT22

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Aug 2007 Posts: 12,842

Quote:

Originally Posted by d10

She knew who you were all along. You got trolled hard

Quote

07-10-2013 , 10:38 PM

#10056

lazer

adept

Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 1,131

Yeah. Interesting that he comes in as a dating coach all of a sudden and says that

Quote

07-10-2013 , 10:44 PM

#10057

mashoo

journeyman

Join Date: Aug 2011 Posts: 372

Pretty nervous about heading out for a date with a woman off pof. Guess I'll tr this after. Hopefully it isn't like the last date I've had lol.

Quote

07-10-2013 , 10:51 PM

#10058

derada4

old hand

Join Date: Feb 2011 Posts: 1,544

There really is nothing wrong with texting the afternoon of and saying "Hey, just checking in to make sure we are still on for tonight?" .....response...."Ok great, looking forward to it"

Quote

07-10-2013 , 10:56 PM

#10059

lazer

adept

Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 1,131

"text me back if you get this" is the issue

Quote

07-10-2013 , 11:00 PM

#10060

derada4

old hand

Join Date: Feb 2011 Posts: 1,544

Quote:

Originally Posted by lazer

"text me back if you get this" is the issue

+1

Quote me if you read this post.

Quote

07-10-2013 , 11:23 PM

#10061

movieman2g

Script*****

Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 16,938

Quote:

Originally Posted by lazer

"text me back if you get this" is the issue

Quote:

Originally Posted by derada4

+1

Quote me if you read this post.

+2

its needy and kind of dweeby. plus you give her an excuse to flake. "oh i never got your text!"

just be direct - see you at 7, ill be the guy with the watermelon

Quote

07-10-2013 , 11:31 PM

#10062

Chau Nguyen

newbie

Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 45

Quote:

Originally Posted by movieman2g

+2

its needy and kind of dweeby. plus you give her an excuse to flake. "oh i never got your text!"

just be direct - see you at 7, ill be the guy with the watermelon

Being direct is PUA overrated.

If she's going to flake, better she flake now than later. Let's not waste each other's time.

Quote

07-10-2013 , 11:40 PM

#10063

lazer

adept

Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 1,131

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dating Coach Chau

Being direct is PUA overrated.

If she's going to flake, better she flake now than later. Let's not waste each other's time.

This is pretty directly asking her to text you back, so I don't really think you have a point. There are many ways you can get her to reply without it coming across that way.

Quote

07-11-2013 , 12:00 AM

#10064

Chau Nguyen

newbie

Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 45

Quote:

Originally Posted by lazer

This is pretty directly asking her to text you back, so I don't really think you have a point. There are many ways you can get her to reply without it coming across that way.

Being direct = text me back if you still want to meet up tonight

Quote

07-11-2013 , 12:06 AM

#10065

lazer

adept

Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 1,131

I don't think you have any clue what you're talking about. If you're getting people to pay for your services then I guess that's good for you, but I think your recommendation of writing "text me back if you get this message" is ****ty advice.

Quote

07-11-2013 , 12:10 AM

#10066

Chau Nguyen

newbie

Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 45

Let's just agree to disagree.

Quote

07-11-2013 , 12:13 AM

#10067

movieman2g

Script*****

Join Date: Nov 2005 Posts: 16,938

lol at being direct being PUA. granted, i dont know what PUA is other than being a jerk to a girl to hit on her (thats based on what ive avoided to watch on TV).

if any of my friends ever texted me "text me back if you got this" my response would be to ignore them. i actually had a co worker who would do this and it drove me bonkers. its just weak and whiny. youre immediately jumping into being clingy and needy.

"ill meet you at 7" will elicit the exact same response from normal people that youre trying to get without being a dweeb

Quote

07-11-2013 , 12:37 AM

#10068

Otty_Botty

adept

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 1,007

Actually one i usually use is, 'I'll be leaving in about half an hour or so'.

Quote

07-11-2013 , 12:38 AM

#10069

Otty_Botty

adept

Join Date: May 2012 Posts: 1,007

Sorry Chow but I don't really like you or your advice.

Quote

07-11-2013 , 01:37 AM

#10070

AnonymousTextField

old hand

Join Date: Mar 2013 Posts: 1,569

Quote:

Originally Posted by CalledDownLight

It seems like me following up after that is unnecessary and just texting small talk for the sake of texting.

It's not small talk, you're "social networking" in a sense and it's on you to build interest and attraction via text. Sucks but that's what this game is about.

Quote:

Originally Posted by lazer

now damnit people, acknowledge my stupid question already:

I've got a ton on my plate work-wise and am getting a bit bored of being online- deleted my POF and OKC profiles. I'm sure I'll be back (unless it magically works out with the girl from last night) but I've got a few numbers I haven't yet followed up on to keep me busy anyway.

Any reason to worry if the girl from last night goes to creep my profile and sees I deleted it? I don't want her to think it's because of one date with her.

It's one date, who gives a ****? The best advice I've received here is to do whatever I want and stop worrying about how others perceive it. Own it.

Quote

07-11-2013 , 01:39 AM

#10071

Chau Nguyen

newbie

Join Date: Jul 2013 Posts: 45

Quote:

Originally Posted by CalledDownLight

thanks for the advice guys. I'm not big on small talk, but will work on it for future dates.

You actually don't have to be good at small talks. What's more important is that you connect with her on a deeper level, even if you've just met.

Check out this article and you'll see why: http://www.wired.co.uk/news/archive/...ove-in-45-mins

Quote

07-11-2013 , 01:59 AM

#10072

Gabby Hayes

veteran

Join Date: Mar 2012 Posts: 2,847

Quote:

Originally Posted by Dating Coach Chau

Chau, you took that out of context. He was referring to small talk leading up to the first date. In which case, being too deep would be a silly move.

Keep in mind, in that article, all those people are in a controlled environment and willing participants. Not always the case when try to probe into someone's soul in real life you just met.

Last edited by Gabby Hayes; 07-11-2013 at 02:12 AM.

Quote

07-11-2013 , 02:08 AM

#10073

d10

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 7,513

Quote:

Originally Posted by LT22

She knew who you were all along. You got trolled hard

I considered that actually. A+ to her if it was, I can't even be mad at that.

Quote

07-11-2013 , 02:23 AM

#10074

d10

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 7,513

Quote:

Originally Posted by Otty_Botty

Sorry Chow but I don't really like you or your advice.

lol.

But I also hate the "text me back" line. We discussed this pretty extensively already starting at post #5627. Oddly enough the line I thought sounded insecure when I first posed the question ("still good for tonight?") is exactly the line I used a few days ago to confirm with a girl who I wasn't super into and IDGAF if she flaked or not. I like to steal lazer's line after I get the confirmation.