You're right. I should test it out again with new pics. What sort of pics should I use?

I'm happy with what sites are what now and being more forward after a few messages about asking to meet up, after asking on this thread. What about profile writing? I try to write 'different' ones because, at least for girls, they really don't give anything away and professionals are 99% indistinguishable and all sound about the same. Last year I wrote one taking the pis5 out of London city boys and it was alright and seemed to get some attention, but I didn't want to date shortly after that and got rid of my profile and all that. This time I wrote something satirical of worst things about our culture, but this time included meaningful points about my core values and how they may differ from others.

If I go with the same sort of bland one, how do I stand out? But at the same time, maybe it puts girls off who don't get what I'm going for or satirical/surreal stuff like I have now, and they would otherwise talk with me just based on looks. Or, maybe it weeds out boring ratrace sheep or close minded types..

Any thoughts? And no I'm not posting my text haha

Ja,

Maybe you and Brown Gord could work on one together?

+1 to Jennitron

A very straightforward but natural sounding and honest, direct approach is much better than that awkward one. There's no air in it and it seems stifling.

Yowsa sounds as though you could up your return in openers if you're only scoring that high.

Great minds El

Jamerc what nationality are you?

That's alright. I'm not god's gift to women or in the top 1% so we're not on the same page

But I'm jealous because it could just be true anyway he is.

I'm in London I'm English and don't see my English is bad, but I ramble on forums and don't take them very seriously as some do. Not sure why you're picking on me and I'm trying to go about this whole thing sensibly. I don't think like the crowd and find them dumb, but don't judge them for it. I've put in a lot of work to understand a lot of things I do, and ask about things when I don't.

I'm 31, I'm not going to go on a date with any girl just because of her looks, as I imagine most guys would, because I don't want to waste my time if we don't have anything in common and there wouldn't be a future. I want to set up my profile and send messages in the right way so it's actually someone I really want to meet. From looking at girls' profiles, I can't tell between them, and I don't want to be like that, appearing a copy one of many thousands in the city, like a clone, because it looks like a mistake. I don't see what's wrong with that, but open to hearing opinions and experiences from both sides.

GTF Jamerc

Man up and see me for the mess I clearly am !!

Like the taking the piss out of city boys but remember the good ones get a lot of ..... so don't be bitter and show the pros rather than cons for your outlook. Don't be inflexible though and be just a greater human.

You sound a great human and just relax and display that in a clear manner.

I don't want a lot of cheap schlags, tarts or bimbos, it sounds fun but meh I'm old for that and enjoy cuddles and love

What site are you looking on? I find girls' profiles on OKC to be, on average, miles better than POF or Match (for somewhat different reasons).

Dale, please give me cliffs for Jamerc and Brown

My impression is that the biggest mistake that guys often make is to try to write a profile that will be somewhat appealing to the most women. This usually results in guys trying seem normal and uncontroversial (e.g. girls mock how often guys will describe themselves as "laid back").

This is not what will get attention. What you want to be doing is writing a profile that will make some woman pick your profile as the 1 out of 100 that she is most interested in. You don't want to be what most women are sort of looking for. You want to be exactly what some woman is looking for.

Note that this can mean that posting certain things in your profile that might be wrong or even douchey for the vast majority of guys could be right, and almost necessary, for you. One common example would be posting a shirtless pic. Well over 95% of guys would not be well served by posting a shirtless pic in their profile (and certainly I am part of that 95%!). Most women find this slightly offensive, and the women that don't aren't going to be impressed.

But if your abs are in the top 1%, you should absolutely be posting a shirtless pic. Because there are some women out there who are looking for exactly this. And if you care about your abs that much, do you really want attention from all the girls who would be offended by them?

But when you're sending messages that are semiliterate, they're clearly only responding to your pics was my point. If they're responding to that message, then they're really only responding to your pics.

Jamerc: "I spoke good Engshlit."

Brown: "Me English 2"

In my experience it's far harder to get replies on Match. POF I don't send personalized messages but I get a decent reply rate.

Brown I'm sure it's because of my age, men my age want women 10-20 years younger. Funny thing is, they're still on these sites too - so clearly that approach isn't working for them but they haven't gotten smart enough to figure it out yet.

I'm sure I'd get a lot more replies if I moved to the old people's dating sites but I'm not ready for that; I'd rather take up some of the young guy's offers for FWB & use myself up before I'm ready to move on to someone so old. A few days ago I was messaged by a SEVENTY year old.... seriously?!!

yow,

"I'd rather take up some of the young guy's offers for FWB & use myself up before I'm ready to move on to someone so old."

If you want a long-term relationship at some point, this seems like a very counterproductive strategy.

I actually made fun of this very fact in a message today. I kind of opened about people lying in profiles and she thought that most people were pretty honest (though she's only met one guy on the site, and he had lied about his age). I said that people say who they wish they were, kind of like how everyone says they are laid-back but in reality they aren't.

It's solid good stuff from Nick.
The trouble as I found Jamerc, was that it is really hard, or can be hard to pin point what about you yourself will be attractive to a girl that you in turn will like.

But you sound nearly there as you are so confident in what you don't like as well as what you want. What you said re slags etc sounded endearing cos it was so natural. That was despite you referring to a massive proportion of the female population as slags and tarts so maybe watch that point of view. Slags have hearts as well.

LOL I was joking, it's fun to think about but I'm so much the opposite of that it's not even funny. I don't date much because I have more offers for that kind of thing than actual dating, so I do stuff with friends & just go out with men once in a while if someone nice contacts me.

Yowsa

You do seem contradictory in what you tell us you want and your behaviour. You might need to be bolder in really going for what you want and valuing yourself and that standard.

Ah ok...retracted. Somewhat!! I do remember a contradictory vague feeling in your approach.

How many visitors per week do you guys get on OKC? I just checked and am at 17/week.