Online dating thread - Page 1405 - Other Topics Forum - Discuss Pop Culture, Arts and Entertainment

IDK. If reading this thread proves one thing, then it's that demographics and age ranges make a big difference to dating, but once you hit that 30 age group going for a full kiss 2 hours into a date is generally a big no imo.

If a date has gone really well, then i think you are entitled to make a move when you say good night, but not just randomly in the middle of the date when you can't think of anything to say or w/e.

+1. I've only kissed at the end of a first online date mayyybe 10%. Never in the venue. You either need to be super drunk or super good looking to get away with this. Burdz again trying to move too fast.

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04-19-2015 , 09:35 AM

#35103

Burdzthewurd

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Join Date: Jan 2005 Posts: 12,186

We were both drunk, not sloppy drunk, and it wasn't during some big lull in the conversation. In b4 everyone just chimes in that I'm a rapist because let's just gaslight Burdz

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04-19-2015 , 09:56 AM

#35104

Dyenimator

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Join Date: Dec 2005 Posts: 23,131

Lol wat. Always kiss

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04-19-2015 , 10:26 AM

#35105

wesrwood

temp-banned

Join Date: Feb 2007 Posts: 22,886

I'm not good looking but I've kissed in the middle of a date but that's when the chemistry is there. You have to be self aware

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04-19-2015 , 10:30 AM

#35106

Elrazor

losing momentum

Join Date: Mar 2007 Posts: 13,859

Quote:

Originally Posted by Burdzthewurd

We were both drunk, not sloppy drunk, and it wasn't during some big lull in the conversation. In b4 everyone just chimes in that I'm a rapist because let's just gaslight Burdz

Sure, I mean only you know exactly how things went down, but obviously you mis-read the situation or you wouldn't be dusting yourself off this morning.

Dating is something that works differently for everyone, based on a combination of their personality and the person they are dating. Based on what you have written, it feels more like you are trying some cookie-cutter approach based on stuff you have read, than actually feeling the situation out and acting accordingly.

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04-19-2015 , 12:54 PM

#35107

NLSoldier

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Quote:

Originally Posted by LT22

This is complete nonsense.

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04-19-2015 , 02:12 PM

#35108

JLBorloo

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Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 5,222

dont remember the exact number but in 2014 I went on ~20ish tinder first dates and made out (or more) at least 15 times. Certainly not ridiculously good looking, late 20's, former "shy guy". It's doable.

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04-19-2015 , 02:49 PM

#35109

Randall Stevens

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Join Date: May 2014 Posts: 2,726

Quote:

Originally Posted by NLSoldier

This is complete nonsense.

I've been online dating on and off for the last 5 years. Out of the less than 100, but greater than 50 dates I've been on, I've never made out in the bar/restaurant/whatever. A kiss or short makeout session at the car was common, but I'm not sure why you'd want to go at it at the bar.

In fact, I can only remember 2 women that wanted to have a lot of contact or makeout at the bar. They both seemed fairly crazy.

I'm now 37, by the way, but my age range has always been 10 years younger to a few years older than me.

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04-19-2015 , 03:00 PM

#35110

NLSoldier

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Not saying it has to be in the venue. But kissing on only 10% of 1st dates or thinking you need to be super good looking to pull it off is completely ridiculous.

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04-19-2015 , 03:06 PM

#35111

Randall Stevens

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Join Date: May 2014 Posts: 2,726

Quote:

Originally Posted by NLSoldier

Not saying it has to be in the venue. But kissing on only 10% of 1st dates or thinking you need to be super good looking to pull it off is completely ridiculous.

Fair enough, and I agree with that. I wasn't sure if your comment was with regards to the in the venue comment or the 10% comment.

If I have a good date with a girl and she thinks it went well, even ones with a ridiculous "no kissing" rule will either break that rule or make it known that there will most likely be physicality on the next date.

Kissing at the end of the date has to be much greater than 50%, in my experience. Maybe even in the 75% range.

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04-19-2015 , 03:30 PM

#35112

JLBorloo

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Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 5,222

I think a lot of the kissing / not kissing also come down to the relation you build online.

A more formal/grown-up discussion about hobbies/jobs/travels will obviously lead to less 1st date action than being more light / flirtatious online (which will lead to some attrition even before the 1st date).
Basically if the vibe is close to a job interview, obviously it's much harder to build comfort, even with alcohol involved. The mere existence of the 2nd date then becomes the green light for that.

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04-19-2015 , 03:36 PM

#35113

wutangpoker

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Join Date: Apr 2011 Posts: 2,924

I pretty much tried kissing on all my first dates and I honestly can't think of a single time I was rejected on the kiss, and a lot of those girls did not want to go on a second date.

Oh one time I invited a girl from tinder over for "Netflix" and put we immediately went to my bed and I tried to kiss her right away and she said "I'm not ready for that yet." I tried again and got rejected again and we lied in my bed and really did just watch Netflix...

Also once I tried a kiss in the middle of a walk on campus and got the cheek. But that girl initiated a makeout at the end.

How did you launch the kiss burd?

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04-19-2015 , 04:03 PM

#35114

Randall Stevens

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Join Date: May 2014 Posts: 2,726

Quote:

Originally Posted by JLBorloo

From experience, I disagree with this. I usually email multiple times before leading to a meet and those emails are long and not just casual few sentence type of conversations. So, by the time we meet, as long as neither of us misrepresents ourselves through photos or personality, then it's usually a slam dunk.

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04-19-2015 , 04:52 PM

#35115

SandraXII

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Join Date: Jun 2011 Posts: 2,094

Yeah i've had some pretty monotone online convos that turned into very good dates.

You just never know. You can have a pretty good idea but there's always the potential for surprise.

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04-19-2015 , 05:22 PM

#35116

JLBorloo

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Join Date: Dec 2008 Posts: 5,222

I did not say either was better than the other. I just said that both types of convos yielded different results, both of which can legitimately be desirable.
But some posters ITT seem to question that you can actually get physical on a first date, and this simply is untrue.

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04-19-2015 , 05:31 PM

#35117

LT22

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Originally Posted by LT22

To clarify, the 10% is like 3 out of 30 over 1.5 years. This would include a bunch of dates where it was clear I or the girl were not interested. I'm not going for a kiss with somebody I'm not interested in. I don't go in for the kiss unless it's obvious there's a good mutual vibe. This isn't easy on a first online date where it's an IRL stranger.

It doesn't do any good to kiss on the first date anyway. No upside, but downside risk if you got the read wrong. I'm a classic provider in the eyes of these women, not the "wild" guy that would take them to the club, pop bottles/snort coke, and then stick it in their pooper.

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04-19-2015 , 05:53 PM

#35118

Brown Gord

adept

Join Date: Mar 2009 Posts: 1,198

That's brilliant LT

Just out of interest what is your work?
Do you mean that you can comfortably provide for them without a need for the girl to work or just that that is your character?

It really seemed as though Burdz got the read wrong and by a fair margin?

Women will pick up on whether you find them attractive. I think you're not as self aware as to how you reacted say, when you realised $$ was important with her?

It's not as chaotic now with dating from the internet and folk have their mind pretty clear. There's not as much emotional turmoil that would lead to a greater frequency of wild snogs.

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04-19-2015 , 06:14 PM

#35119

Burdzthewurd

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We were looking into each other's eyes and smiling, i had just shut down a guy trying to flirt with her that she wasn't into.

My leash is too long sometimes (often); I should have made an escape after all the money talk (she at least didn't ask what I pull in a year). She's out of work now, so kind of weird to brag about your former salary. Still will be a turnoff to me when I am making good money.

Jeez Wu, how clueless was that Tinder girl? It's like "coffee isn't coffee, coffee is sex!" Except Netflix is now coffee

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04-19-2015 , 06:24 PM

#35120

n00b590

adept

Join Date: Jun 2010 Posts: 978

Quote:

Originally Posted by LT22

I'm a classic provider in the eyes of these women, not the "wild" guy that would take them to the club, pop bottles/snort coke, and then stick it in their pooper.

You're doing it wrong.

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04-19-2015 , 06:42 PM

#35121

pwnsall

CFBBPC

Join Date: Jun 2006 Posts: 65,682

asking how much you make makes them bad people and instantly gives you the right to lie as much as you please, sleep with them, and never call

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04-19-2015 , 07:30 PM

#35122

lycosid

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Join Date: Oct 2010 Posts: 2,806

Quote:

Originally Posted by LT22

If you've spent two hours or so with a girl you should have a pretty good idea whether there's a mutual vibe. And there's nothing wild about a short makeout session at the end of a good first date, unless you're dating like hardcore Christians or something

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04-19-2015 , 08:01 PM

#35123

LazyTops5

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Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 5,935

Her saying "personal space" is so cringy to me. Dodged a bullet imo

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04-19-2015 , 10:01 PM

#35124

Burdzthewurd

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3 for 3 this weekend. This went well: no deep, serious questions, no lags, she's very competent at FFB, 2 drinks each, lot of laughing, 3x mentions of absolutely doing this again from her unsolicited, hug goodbye. She'd be a cool friend to have, so if this was it or it's a friends thing & not romantic, I'm cool with it, fun time.