What a terrible problem. Just so I'm clear, you don't really have any interest in this girl, you know she's probably holding out because she actually likes you and you want to **** her once and never see her again basically out of spite. You really are BF material, you should tell this story to that other girl you actually like.

So putting these two statements together, you're not having sex with any online date until date 4 then? Or you just reject the ones that are sensible enough to get themselves checked out and are honest with you?

lol2kdabrain,

HPV is so common they don't even test males for it. Not sexing her becuase of that was a total fail. pretty sure its just hyped so they can sell vacccines to sexually active 12 year old girls.

Are you calling Michael Douglas a liar?

Haha as bad as that sounds that was essentially the plan, although it's a bit more complicated than how you summed it up.

In California herp is more common than dental plaque.

when she says slow down you need to stop completely and do something pretty overt like turn your back or check your phone. let her re initiate.

Of course. I stopped then went back to watching the movie without a hand on her for 5min before pretty much saying time to go home since I had to drop her off and it was almost 2am at this point.

She did text me right after I dropped her off saying she had a lot of fun and good night, but like I said I'm not going to engage with her unless she wants to meet up again at which point I'll tell her I just don't see this going any further.

also make a homophobic slur under your breath, to assert dominance.

I just had the most akward conversation ever.

Set up a date with a girl for tomorrow she wanted me to call her and finalize details. I call her and tell her the plan I am busy till about 1:30 and will meet her for gelato and have until 3:00.

She: ohhhh I was planning on hanging out longer

me: lol how much ice cream do you think we were going to have
she: I just thought we'd do something else too like walk
me:well like I said I have an hour and a half I think thats more than enough time to hang out
she: I think i'd rather have more time than be so rushed. call me when you are able to hang out for longer, I don't think its long enough.
me: lol okay.


I think this interaction totally made me want nothing to do with this girl as she seems incredibly inflexible and really akward about everything. I'm mind blown she thinks and hour and a half isn't enough time for a first date of basically coffee. Anyone deal w someone wanting "more time" when setting up a first date.

I kinda get it. Putting a time limit on a date seems like you don't actually want to go on a date IF you're relatively new to online dating. Also it's a really old school excuse to have something planned afterward in case the date is a bust so you can leave more easily.

I'd probably try to set something else up but wouldn't be surprised if she flaked

Since it was a phone call I assume you are paraphrasing, but a phrase like "that's more than enough time to hang out" kind of makes it seem like you are just checking off a box. In her mind, that takes any sort of spontaneity/romance out of the equation. She's expecting a more traditional first date. You, I assume, are more interested in the quick meetup to make sure she is normal and matches her profile/you get along at least a bit.

The mind-blowing thing is you not realizing that other people have other expectations. She doesn't want to have a date that has a time limit on it. You are ok with that. To her, "ice cream" means we get an ice cream and chat, then if it goes well we do something else (walk, hang in the park, coffee, or whatever). Kind of like "let's get A drink" means we meet for a drink and if it goes well we have more drinks. Or "let's watch a movie at my place" probably means sex.

Well said.

You shouldn't mention those things until you get to the date.

Maybe an hour and a half is longer enough, maybe it isn't. You're the one who is being inflexible by not allowing for the date to go on longer if that feels right. If a girl tried scheduling me into a rigid time slot like some sort of cattle call interview, I would be pretty turned off by that.

Not if she's hot you wouldn't.

Probably works the other way too brah

For those using tinder...

Roughly how many exchanges before you ask to meet up? I've had a few good exchanges recently that went silent after asking to meet up for a drink. Just wondering if it's variance or I'm asking too early.

Yeah that was my not so subtle way of saying OP might be ugly.

You're saying you are turned on when hot girls treat you like crap? If any girl treated me this rudely, it would definitely lower my opinion of her. If she was hot enough, the baseline would likely still be high enough that I would go out more or less on her terms, but it would still be somewhat of a turn off.

That's one reason why I haven't tried tinder. Seems like a perfect environment for attention whores who will just waste your time. Not everyone ldo but I'm guessing the time commitment is considerate to sift through all the noise.

I can't imagine tinder being a huge time commitment for anyone, if it is you are doing it wrong.

That's a lot to assume from his simple sentence.

You basically just agreed with him but took a jab saying he lets got girls walk over him. Seems weird

+1. Takes a lot more effort/time commitment to exchange messages on dating sites and you still get plenty of flakes/radio silence there was well.

I've been following the same ask out after 3/4 message rule on tinder, which was why I'm asking.