Yeah I don't get it either.

Burdz' last-minute flake rate seems really bizarre, I had that happen like once ever. Would also be interested in seeing the interactions leading up.

Oups kind of typoed for my phone she obv had a km is longer than a mile which is even more shocking as we are in Europe.

Marking that one down as a win for team faith.

At least she is hot

Should I bang! this chick?????????????????

http://www.phantasytour.com/bands/ph...ang-this-chick

Yes. TR please.

read thru it

I haven't read a ton of the thread but it got me to thinking if the "games were soft" these days on internet dating sites. I haven't put up a profile and spammed messages on one of these in a while but I thought I'd give it a look around this morning.

What kind of results are other guys having with this? Are we still talking about a 30%+ response rate being absolutely deadly from the field? I'd definitely be up to talking strategy and tactics. I've always found a correlation between online dating and internet poker. It's certainly a contact sport (internet dating) in that the amount of messages you sound out to quality women directly correlates with the amount of quality women you'll get to respond. There are, of course, certain proven do's and don't's as there is with anything. A handful of years ago I had an absolutely amazing run with online dating and met several ridiculously hot women in a short period of time after a bit of trial and error but I certainly remember it as a fun phase.

Right now I'm only contacting 7-10's who display above average intelligence and a postgraduate education level. Using OKCupid for now. Will post results.

I'd really like to know what your standard opener is to this demographic?

These girls are being bombarded with 'standard openers'. you have to tailor that ****, and well, to get their attention through to sealing a date. And usually be good looking and interesting to start with.

Greenbliss, I don't even bother thinking about percentages or stats or whatever anymore. Just focus on having the best pics, profile, and messaging approach you can. I probably get no more than a 20 per cent response rate from the girls I target, maybe less. I don't care though because I am confident in my approach and the stat is probably normal anyway.

If we need poker analogies the only relevant one is 'high variance' IMO. I've been two months with a lot of dates but noone exciting with the demographic you mentioned, but the other day I had one of the best first dates ever and have 2 or 3 others I am really looking forward to meeting too.

The biggest difference to poker is BE RESULTS-ORIENTED!

Actually that last point is open to debate, and could be an interesting one.

Yeah this is pretty much my approach. As for my response rate, it's 10% based on mainly messaging 8's and 9's in their thirties. Genuine 10's are few and far between in this demographic.

Once you drop to 7's, I'd say 30% is about right. I went on a date with a 7 this week and she said she got around 15 messages a day, of which about 1 was from someone she would consider dating based on profile/message quality.

I'd say genuine 10s online dating are pretty much non-existent never mind few and far between.

What city are you in?

No, no no! DON'T be result oriented! If you're going after legitimate 9's and 10's the fact of the matter is that you're going to be rejected quite a bit. It's a fact of life. The thing is that you're going to be rejected far less than you think for the simple fact that these kind of women don't get approached in public very often (guys are just afraid to) and online, they get copy pasted bull**** and "you're gorgeous, let's chat" messages over and over.

Step one is to separate yourself from the pack. In any way...just make sure that you come across as different and unique and that you genuinely don't care if you get rejected. Men who are successful with women don't chase one woman who rejects them so if you want to put out the aura of success you can't do so either.

There is no standard approach to 7-10's with high intelligence. That's the point. They're bright and they can smell bull**** a mile away. I sent out 12 messages early this morning around 2-4am. I woke up a little while ago and checked my email: 6 solid responses. Looks like I haven't lost my touch. The key here is to actually read their profile but then NOT respond like an essay to each and every point they laid out in their profile as if to "prove" that you read it. You want to come across like things in her profile genuinely made you excited to message her. The fact is: They should. Don't message women you don't think you'd get alone with. That's just setting yourself up for failure. Scour profiles, pick out quality women who you actually WANT, and send nice, engaging, but not very flirtatious 2-3 paragraph openers. Talk to them like you already know them. Very, very few guys are going to come across that way. Do not compliment them on their looks. At all. You can compliment them on other things in their profile but avoid complimenting them on their looks. It's corny, it's obvious, and it's what they get 150 times a day. Further, you want to QUALIFY THEM. Don't just ask them out. Ask qualifying questions first like you're not sure if you actually are into her or not yet. Make yourself a bit of a carrot on a stick. Let her pursue you a little. Trust me - It's solid gold.

Lastly, make sure you put up some good photos. You don't have to be the best looking guy on earth (at all...it's actually somewhat irrelevant in many cases if you handle things properly) but you do want your photos to be of some quality and definitely not creepy at all. Look at the photos before you post them. Be honest with yourself. I've taken a few headshots and been like "dude, you look like a ****ing lunatic" and /deleted them and gone with something else. Just make sure that you look like someone who you would want to get to know.

Of course I could write more but for now - make sure you send out a lot of messages. A lot. You don't have to spend hours a day on the computer but when you get a few free minutes here and there: send out a quality message or two. Before you know it you'll be developing a pipeline and very rarely will you NOT have a woman to call up on the phone when you want.

I'm a bit north of NYC currently. Believe me, when I do a 50 mile radius search, there are just tons of 9's and 10's galore. Now, most of them aren't actually looking to date on the site. Many of them are window shopping or pissing off their boyfriend who they're trying to draw attention from. However, once again, this is a numbers game. If you contact 150 9/10's, there's simply no way you're not going to hear back from at least 3 who are actually considering going out with you. Where you go from there is up to you.

Yes, +1 to most of this (apart from the bit about guys not approaching the hottest women which is obv bull****). With the results oriented analogy, what I was trying to say was if you are the type of guy who is capable of getting 7+ level girls but are wondering about the quality of your message game you have to pay attention to what's getting results and why, but the more relevant thing is to say if you are confident that your message game is good you shouldn't change the process. So depends on how you look at it.

Like DDIP said 10s are pretty much nonexistent, particularly in a small UK city (aren't you in Derby or somewhere)? If you're only messaging 8s and 9s too I hardly think you can be messaging a lot of women or giving yourself the best chance in a relatively small pool like that.

I feel like you may be getting a little (a lot?) generous with your ratings here.

First date tomorrow with a recent divorcee, 40, messaged me first on Thursday night, got # Friday morning & set date that afternoon. If she bails last minute, will 100% post all texts, there's been 6, nothing incriminating IMO

I'd say by a half.

True 8+ aren't anywhere near the net.

Gotta factor the kray kray.



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Yeah I'm in the middle of the UK. It's a fair comment about the ratings. I would say I'm messaging the top 10-20% of women on the site, which obviously converted is 8-10's. However, clearly genuine 8+ women usually don't need the internet to get dates, or are already in long term relationships so you do need to make some adjustment for this.

I’d say this is 100% my strategy, apart from the paragraphs. My messages are more like 2 sentences these days. When I first started messaging, they were longer, but I found the response rate poor for the effort.

Rating women from 0-10 is on an absolute rather than relative scale.

And incidentally I hate doing it, makes me feel pretty shallow. But then, I think I am. Like a lot of people I guess.

If I wanted to take a more subjective view of the women I message, none of them would clearly be the most attractive girl I have dated, however none of them would be outside the top 10 either.

Argh, prob overthinking and TLDR here but whatever. So I had an amazing date with this girl last week, then she texted me first when she got in from the date saying let's do x on sunday, i said i can't do the day but let's do evening or midweek, she says yeah whenever, let me know how your sunday turns out and we'll take it from there.

then i text last night saying do you fancy x tomorrow night and she responds this morning saying she's a bit tired from last night, but could maybe go for food one night this week. Then asked me how my bday weekend was. So I just think whatever, there's a good chance this will fizzle out, but then she texts me again saying we could go for a walk in the sunshine this afternoon though?

Since I already told her I couldn't do the daytime I feel like the right move is to just stick to my guns and suggest dinner for midweek but while she prob just forgot i said i couldn't do the day it also feels like she might want me to compromise or cancel the plans to see her.

It's a clear stick to my guns though right???

I know you americans won't be able to read this till I've made a decision but I am going with the gun sticking.

She's playing some games IMO. Stick to your guns. Lead, don't follow.

I guarantee she has just forgotten. I often have 3-4 prospects on the go and it's impossible to keep track of what-they-said-and-when, especially wrt availability.

Can you do today? if so I'd just go ahead with the date and casually mention at some point whatever plans you had got cancelled.