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Page 262 of 307

First

62 162 212 242 252 257 258 259 260 261 262 263 264 265 266 267 272 282

Last

07-19-2017 , 11:24 AM

#6526

thabighurt35

**** you Monday

Join Date: Feb 2009 Posts: 11,552

Quote:

Originally Posted by AlwaysFolding

Terrible life advice is a definite.

Not only terrible life advice but the printing it on a stack of paper on the back is genius, I'm dying.

bro, think about doing it a second time, it would get even better, like every time too.

Imagine an office where all printer paper has had so much ****ing cage on it that after 13 days, there is a little 1cmX1cm pic of our boy nick on the FRONT of the page right down in the corner by the page number, and nobody even cares.

If you get it on the front of the page you will know what it feels like to break someone.

Quote

07-19-2017 , 11:36 AM

#6527

Kristy

The Canamerican Opinionatrix

Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 7,999

Pretty excited about this printer business, tbh

Quote

07-19-2017 , 12:29 PM

#6528

fidstar-poker

I'm gonna need a hacksaw

Join Date: Jun 2012 Posts: 33,936

Terrible life advice sounds like a grand thread. Pitty I can't start it with a "Stuff..."

Quote

07-25-2017 , 07:42 AM

#6529

Kristy

The Canamerican Opinionatrix

Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 7,999

QOTD: Does/did your most recent female companion own a vibrator/dildo?

Story: I went to a girl's night recently and it turns out I am the only one who doesnt...yet.

Subquestions:
-Did she name it?
-What?
-Was it bigger than what you're rocking?
- if yes, does that hurt your feels?
-pics?

Quote

07-25-2017 , 08:04 AM

#6530

AllCowsEatGrass

banned

Join Date: Mar 2017 Posts: 1,839

I'm trying to come up with a good joke about vibrators and republicans but I'm having a fail

Quote

07-25-2017 , 08:23 AM

#6531

Kristy

The Canamerican Opinionatrix

Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 7,999

They're both what Christian women secretly use in place of actual men?

Let's keep working on this project while I wait to increase my sample size of vibrator knowledge.

Quote

07-25-2017 , 08:29 AM

#6532

zikzak

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 22,198

idk, probably.

My understanding is that most gals prefer something external that buzzes. Peen comparisons aren't valid if the gadget isn't going up in there.

Quote

07-25-2017 , 08:50 AM

#6533

fidstar-poker

I'm gonna need a hacksaw

Join Date: Jun 2012 Posts: 33,936

QOTD: Does/did your most recent female companion own a vibrator/dildo? Yes. I thought all girls did.

Story: I went to a girl's night recently and it turns out I am the only one who doesnt...yet. But how many of them watched horse pron?

Subquestions:
-Did she name it? Nope
-What?
-Was it bigger than what you're rocking? Some were, some weren't
- if yes, does that hurt your feels? No, Only the top 0.001% are rocking more than a big vibrator
-pics? Nope

Quote

07-25-2017 , 09:16 AM

#6534

JustJ46671

Low Content

Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 11,951

Dammit! Posting from phone, and my gigantic reply got nuked when the phone rang. Telemarketing swine! Soulless Pakistani greedheads! "This is Dan, from the warranty department". Bull****, Dan. Dan, mark my name as 'do not ever call again'. I hope your mother gives you syphilis, Dan.

Quote

07-25-2017 , 09:20 AM

#6535

zikzak

Carpal \'Tunnel

Join Date: Jul 2009 Posts: 22,198

That wasn't very nice, J. I really did have important warranty information for you.

Quote

07-25-2017 , 09:34 AM

#6536

AlwaysFolding

Urban Pharmer

Join Date: Oct 2016 Posts: 19,980

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kristy

QOTD: Does/did your most recent female companion own a vibrator/dildo?
yee

Story: I went to a girl's night recently and it turns out I am the only one who doesnt...yet.

Subquestions:
-Did she name it?
No
-What?
Several different types, all vibrators, generally with a flattened apparatus to make maintaining contact with the clitoris as easy as possible
-Was it bigger than what you're rocking?
Def not (sorry, hard to beat a throbbing 3 incher)
- if yes, does that hurt your feels?
Answer was no STOP CALLING ME A LIAR
-pics?
of my peen next to vibrator?

obviously correct interpretation of all questions

Quote

07-25-2017 , 09:50 AM

#6537

JustJ46671

Low Content

Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 11,951

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kristy

Yes, she has one or so.
Yes, they have names.
"Happy fosho" or "Satisfaction guaranteed" or something like that. Mostly called out by color or functionalities.
Yes. Y'all can buy more than any of us can develop. Having actual size or smaller would be wasting time and manies.
No, it doesn't hurt my feels or pride or make me feel diminished.
No, sorry. Taking it out of it's storage container, when she's not home, would be kinda creepy and possibly make me gay.

Quote

07-25-2017 , 09:52 AM

#6538

AlwaysFolding

Urban Pharmer

Join Date: Oct 2016 Posts: 19,980

Nah, it wouldn't make you gay. It would make you gay if you just spontaneously stopped loving the vag and were 100% preferential to smashing the dude-hole though.

Last edited by AlwaysFolding; 07-25-2017 at 09:52 AM. Reason: GET THOSE PICS, J!

Quote

07-25-2017 , 10:19 AM

#6539

Kristy

The Canamerican Opinionatrix

Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 7,999

Quote:

Originally Posted by zikzak

idk, probably.

My understanding is that most gals prefer something external that buzzes. Peen comparisons aren't valid if the gadget isn't going up in there.

I didn't think of that. Makes sense...except, why buy the bull when you get fingers and men for free?

Quote:

Originally Posted by fidstar-poker

Yes. I thought all girls did.

But how many of them watched horse pron?

1. Apparently they do.
2. I forgot to ask, but they've all seen midget porn...which is gateway horsepron imo.

Quote

07-25-2017 , 10:34 AM

#6540

fidstar-poker

I'm gonna need a hacksaw

Join Date: Jun 2012 Posts: 33,936

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kristy

I didn't think of that. Makes sense...except, why buy the bull when you get fingers and men for free?

1. Apparently they do.
2. I forgot to ask, but they've all seen midget porn...which is gateway horsepron imo.

1. Just borrow one. Perfectly fine. Us guys share condoms.
2. ldo

This one should do you...

NSFW

Spoiler:

Quote

07-25-2017 , 10:35 AM

#6541

fidstar-poker

I'm gonna need a hacksaw

Join Date: Jun 2012 Posts: 33,936

****, now I have horse dildo in my search history.

Quote

07-25-2017 , 10:36 AM

#6542

Kristy

The Canamerican Opinionatrix

Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 7,999

The fact that you didn't already is why you're my arch-nemesis

Quote

07-25-2017 , 10:51 AM

#6543

AlwaysFolding

Urban Pharmer

Join Date: Oct 2016 Posts: 19,980

Kristy's inexperience with the dildos leads me to believe her shenanigans are all a charade!

Quote

07-25-2017 , 12:22 PM

#6544

Kristy

The Canamerican Opinionatrix

Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 7,999

Sure, let's go with that interpretation.

Quote

07-25-2017 , 12:38 PM

#6545

Oberbrunner

banned

Join Date: Feb 2015 Posts: 927

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kristy

QOTD: Does/did your most recent female companion own a vibrator/dildo?

Yes

Quote:

Story: I went to a girl's night recently and it turns out I am the only one who doesnt...yet.

Subquestions:
-Did she name it?

Yes

Quote:

-What?

George Clooney

Quote:

-Was it bigger than what you're rocking?

I have vibrators and dildos of all sizes, bigger and smaller

Quote:

- if yes, does that hurt your feels?
-pics?

Quote

07-25-2017 , 01:39 PM

#6546

AlwaysFolding

Urban Pharmer

Join Date: Oct 2016 Posts: 19,980

Quote:

Originally Posted by Kristy

Sure, let's go with that interpretation.

Kristy's inexperience with modern dildo technology leads me to believe her shenanigans are all a charade!

Quote

07-25-2017 , 01:45 PM

#6547

fidstar-poker

I'm gonna need a hacksaw

Join Date: Jun 2012 Posts: 33,936

Basically video proof is now needed.

Last edited by fidstar-poker; 07-25-2017 at 01:45 PM. Reason: I don't make the rules!

Quote

07-25-2017 , 03:26 PM

#6548

Kristy

The Canamerican Opinionatrix

Join Date: Jun 2008 Posts: 7,999

Realistically, it probably implies that I'm trending more slutty, since I've presumably always had a penis available to borrow, or I wouldn't have gotten this far without that knowledge.

Smoke 'em if you got 'em.

Quote

07-25-2017 , 03:35 PM

#6549

AlwaysFolding

Urban Pharmer

Join Date: Oct 2016 Posts: 19,980

It doesn't imply that because you've directly stated that you think fingers are more effective.

That statement directly implies that you've pleasured yourself more than anything else has due to your ability to self-induce the release.

BAM