So I am now 24hrs smoke free and Code3 will not let me go anywhere by myself, he even follows me to the car if I have to grab something and he's going to the gym with me. I feel like I'm in lockdown lol, but it's keeping me from smoking.

This is the food I bought for the weekend. The plan is eggs, smoothies, yogurt, chicken+veggies, and tunafish. I am resetting and getting back on track this weekend.

Breakfast:
Yes, I burnt my eggs.
2eggs+1slice cheese
Small bites of chicken
Smoothie=2 cups frozen fruit+2 cups almond milk(30cals ea)

I also had an iced coffee with 1/4cup non fat milk and Splenda

Acts of service scored high for me because of the comparisons. I'd rather have someone do something for me that I don't like to do than tell me I look nice. But if it was just an individual item that I had to rate from 1-extremely unimportant to 5-extremely important, it would be a 2.

How is Code's score almost the same as mine. My number 1 is quality time. I thought his was acts of service. I think the survey is ridiculous because even though acts of service was my number 2, I'd have rated most of those examples as unimportant or extremely unimportant.

Here's the survey if anyone else wants to play along at home. http://www.5lovelanguages.com/profile/

His number 1 ended up being quality time. I assumed it was acts of service.

Maybe Code and I should date.

Lol

I started doing the quiz, but I think the either/ors are so lame I quit.

Yeah those questions tilted me pretty badly. Big lol at all these gift questions.

8/7/6/6/3 words of affirmation/quality time/acts of service/physical touch/receiving gifts.

Guess I don't speak any particular love language. Can't say I put much stock in the test though considering how silly the questions sometimes were.

I want time, gifts and "tell me I'm pretty" equally. Physical touch came in last because all the touch questions stressed the importance of pda, and idgaf about public touching. It's the private touching that interests me. Choices to choose from were um, limited. Fun to do while waiting for a machine at the gym tho. d.

Tell us more.

I believe they call it heavy petting

I mean the options were something like, choose one:

He holds your hand in public
He gives you a gift that shows he knows you

Between those 2 I'll take a gift anytime.

Now, heavy petting or a gift are more equal in value.

I won't complain about the survey. My wife uses a tool in her job that has a similar structure - choose one of two seemingly unrelated options - and it is more or less voodoo in how it describes people's strengths and weaknesses. But "5 Languages of Love" is a flawed concept.

I took the test and it told me my love language is pizza. Seems accurate.

Pizza is the devil.

You been playing the foosball behind my back!?!

The message is that you should attempt to reward your partner in the language that speaks love to them

This. A few years back I did this with a group of 25 other people. I think most people ended up with something that "fit" them, but probably a decent chunk of that is bias because of ansering in a way that ends you where you think you should be. Nevertheless, if all you take out of it is BA's quote above, it can be interesting. For example, in that group that gets together maybe 3-4 times a year, hugging is kind of the established greeting (all good friends). Except there is one girl who I fistbump with, and another guy who I shake hands with. The girl said to me last time "you know Aidan, you're the only one that respects my no hugging policy" after she had awkwardly hugged the first two people and then given me a fistbump. It was also interesting in that group of qualified, intelligent people, that the spread through the five languages was very wide, with people highly into each of the areas and some more generalist.

I also believe that the survey is supposed to be taken where you think about a particular relationship. Your love language with your SO is likely to be different than your mates etc etc.

M,

Those eggs. My lord.

Let's step up your egg game. What's your favorite way to order eggs when you go out to eat? What kind of equipment do you have - gas or electric stove? Non-stick skillet? Cooking spray or butter? Is the setup different at Code's?

I'll give you my answers: Over medium. Electric stove, basic non-stick skillet, butter. I know from experience that I can get highly satisfactory eggs almost every time in 8 minutes, the time it takes to finish the cook on hash browns. Turn on burner to one tick cooler than medium. Once small pat of butter is melted swirl it around in the pan, I don't use much so it may not get the whole surface. Crack eggs into pan. Leave them alone. Pull them off when the whites are just set, maybe let them sit a minute, serve.

But that's me. Let's talk about you. How do you like your eggs?

How she makes her eggs is one of the smallest rocks imaginable. Whatever requires the least amount of effort so she can concentrate on having a plan each day and sticking to it is going to be by far the best thing she can do for most of the issues that come up here. Just having and following a plan will fix almost all of the major leaks.

This.

One of the primary concepts is that each person has a Love Tank. The person speaking your love language is what fills your tank. Without this, you will not feel loved, connected, supported, appreciated, etc.

Let's say Partner A's love language is Affirmation and their last is Acts of Service.

Let's say Partner B's primary is Acts of Service and their last is Affirmation.

Partner A needs to hear Affirmation. It has nothing to do with ego or pride. It is simply how they function. No matter how much they *know* their partner loves and cherishes them, they won't *feel* these things without Affirmation.

Partner B needs Acts of Service in the same way.

But look at how these two people have love languages that are on opposing ends of the spectrum.

Partner A isn't naturally going to think to perform Acts of Service for Partner B. Partner A might tell Partner B all the time how much he/she loves the other, but Partner B needs those Acts of Service, not Affirmation.

And similarly, Partner B might do as many Acts of Service as can be fit in the day, but really Partner A wishes Partner B would just say something nice.

Recognizing how your partner's needs differ from yours and then doing something against your nature can then in itself demonstrate your love for the other person, because you are going against your primary impulse in order to satisfy their needs rather than treating them like they are supposed to be a copy of you with the same needs.

Excellent post Busto.

In my relationship, code3 constantly performs acts of service. While I really appreciate him doing all of the things he does, it doesn't make me feel loved and I just want to hear him say he loves me and give me a hug. And, I always try to hug and kiss on him and tell him how great he is and how much I appreciate him and it does nothing for him.Outside of sex, he would be perfectly content never touching me. A memory he has of when he felt most loved by me was when I met him on the side of the road with transmission fluid when his tranny was leaking.
I have begged him to write me a love note and his response is that he already does my laundry lol.