I don't think there is much additional benefit to a well thought out message vs. a good canned opener. As long as both are non-creepy and above a certain threshold (putting you instantly ahead of 90% of messages she receives), then she'll read it and go through a screening process. It probably goes something like: Does he look cute in the thumbnail pic? ---> Check profile and see if the rest of the pics are good ---> Read profile and see if we're compatible and if there's anything interesting to talk about ---> Send response.

Your initial message should make it easy for them to pick a thing or two to respond to, then usually they'll throw in something they liked from the profile.

I think energy is better spent creating an awesome profile and putting up your very best pics rather than worrying too much about openers.

I'm not going to do it because on top of being higher pressure than a weekday date I like to keep my weekends open for myself. I need to really like a girl before she gets a weekend date.

You dont want anyone to be happy dp you.

Edit: like truly happy..

wat

Of course I want people to be happy. I wouldn't spend my lunch breaks reviewing profiles if I didn't. Calleddownlight is frustrated and has waited 8 weeks which doesn't sound like true happiness.

May I ask why you would think that?

CDL,

Maybe the profile is fake.

Yeah cause its all about the past . He cant do anything about the previous 8. She sounds worth it but maybe fake profile like El says.

Edit: I ask because it hard for guys to find someone they are really really interested in. (And I assume you knew this)

Why does having a fake profile vs saying she might not live near him mean that I don't want him to be truly happy?

CDL have you posted your profile in here? There must be something wrong beyond your messages if your response rate is that low - afaik you are a relatively successful and decent looking guy who has no problem getting IRL dates?

Jenni i threw in an edit. Disclaimer: I didnt read CDLs post and only saw yours.

cdl do you message like you post

They already had plans to meet up. Its not about what he messaged. Yes four msgs in a row is maybe too much but they had plans and she should expect that, itd be totally ridiculous to claim she got creeped out because the man sent four msgs.

Either something came up with her or there was something already wrong with her in first place, fake or whatever.

how many days until I get matched on Tinder? I've had it for like 4 days and I'm getting impatient since I'm a pretty irresistible specimen of a human.

Also Jenni do you really want anyone to be truly happy? Or do you help to make urself feel mildly good. But if they feel better than you feel, you add subtle statements?

I still think a message that playfully references her profile makes a big difference. Yes if youre very good looking or hideous it probably wont, but a profile and pics are fixed once, why not spend a second or two to create the optimal msg. If its anout something she has written down and is fun shell feel way more compelled to answer, as opposed to canned, which still has its place for those profiles which dont give you enough to work with.

cdl use tinder. I can approve of 60-80 girls per minute and it's nice not sinking hours of my life into a stupid online game with stupid rules. I feel no pressure too because of how easy it is to end up texting with a girl...risk of failure doesn't even matter.

no moar openers, invasive profiles, mass messaging, and girls are very aggressive and message first! however, there are still bots it seems. I'm pretty sure a pay-site > tinder, but tinder is just so so good.

Is this in reference to me or cdl?

?

I haven't matched with anyone on Tinder in weeks. I don't know if it's b/c I hit "like" for every chick before their photo even pops up or what.

i think the app is a little buggy still on android

hmm...if you're older than 25 it could pose a problem, it seems like the avg. age for girls is 21 on there. I set things to only show girls between a certain age group and within 15 miles from home and get a 'like' every couple days. I haven't liked anyone in a few weeks and am randomly getting matched with girls, so there's probably a ton of variance.

maybe your picture is just bad. my main one is me with my family, and it might help in seducing a family-oriented cool girl, but i dunno. there's a disproportionate amount of hot/party girls it seems, and my matches are nothing spectacular but it's still cool.

well to say I have "waited" is a stretch as I haven't done much since the first 2 weeks aside from respond to her texts.

possible, but "she" always has immediate responses and a lot of local knowledge so it would have to be someone who posted fake pictures and now doesn't know how to get out of it or is just doing it for the lolz.

nah, I haven't and don't really want to after so many others have expressed regret and worried about trainwrecks.

fairly successful. could improve appearance, but I am a fraction shy of 6'4 and generally dress acceptably.

nah, my message game isn't as hard and is more inquisitive. Is that the issue?

I just started using tinder. I have also enjoyed my one experience with grouper and am going on another next week.

I am much much better once I am >5 minutes into a conversation or in a group setting and have a much better track record in connecting with girls in those types of scenarios.

+1

I'm not sure slips posts are making much sense

Spending 8 weeks being text-blue-balled is awful, and unless there's some special circumstance like they had met before and don't live near each other or something unique there's 0 reason to not pursue other options.

You

She was on okc this morning and is on now so obviously she is just ignoring me. I just don't see the point in making plans and ignorin me. If you lose interest grow a sack and tell me