fail, it's hard to do this stuff not face-to-face.

40 year old Asian milf about to be the first date I line up.

I use a couple tricks to avoid falling into this trap. Sometimes the only questions that come to mind are the regular boring ones, it sucks right? Try throwing in a guess along with the question. "So what do you do for work? I bet you're a trucker, you totally have the look."

Or try disqualifying something right away. "So what kind of hobbies do you have? Don't tell me reading, that's not really a hobby"

Little add-ons like that can make those boring questions seem interesting again.

Also Thac, the whole "I love that you're enthusiastic.." line just comes off as too much interest and sets the wrong dynamic I think.

I do think the "write back" line could hurt. Especially if it's something like, "we should talk sometime" or "please write back if you are interested" or something horribly lame. And I just can't see how it will help since, as I said, sending the message in the first place is an obviously implied invitation to write back.

I understood what your point was with the question mark thing. I disagree. I think saying a regular sentence into a question like that is lame and it would turn me off. I suspect too many of the replies that are trying too hard have too many questions in them. "Do you like dogs? I do. I have a poodle. Do you like music? What about food?" etc etc. Questions can be okay but I think they can get overdone a lot.

100% agree with all of this.
The "I love that you're enthusiastic" is lousy.
"What's your major?" is especially lousy.


despite my slight disagreements on a couple of thac's ideas and I presume he was probably cringing at my example earlier I suspect that he and I have more in common with our approaches than not.

Don't know anything else about her message except Go Bucks in Michigan but if that's all I have to work with and you want to focus on that part I could roll with something like this I guess:


Hell Ya...Go Bucks Baby!!
That must be some kind of wacky to be a Buckeyes fan in Maize and Blue country. But you gotta represent with pride no matter how dangerous, right?

Meh. These issues are too minor to really be arguing about and I don't think I've explained my side very well. So I'm going to just use an example.

A) No question mark and no call-to-action

I bet you get a ton of creepy guys msging you.


B) Added question mark, call-to-action, and a little teasing

I bet you get a ton of creepy guys msging you? As long as you're not a creepy guy yourself, msg me back ;o


Option B will get you way more replies and in general is a better strategy over a large sample. It's just an example of how to better structure your msgs and how little things matter alot. But anyways I don't really care enough about a question mark and a 3 word phrase to go any further with it. There are many different ways to approach the opening msg.

For the record I've actually used that option B word for word and it gets decent results. I'd choose it over what 99% of the guys out there are sending.

I agree it's pretty nitpicky on the question thing. You think it's better and I think it's about the same or potentially worse. No biggie.

On another nitpicky note: I wouldn't mention creepy guys at all. Just be an uncreepy guy and you'll already stand out. Mentioning creepy guys just feels like a bad move to me in an initial message. If she brings it up that you've been the least creepy guy to message her all month or something then you can 'go there' but otherwise I wouldn't introduce that topic.

Also I consider this an example of what I was trying to say with question marks. This could easily be a sentence, but you changed it into a question. It's good, and the real purpose is to ellicit a response. That's all I ever said about the question mark. If you don't have a question, just turn a simple sentence like this into one.

There is a term in PUA called KeyJockeying (KJing) and I'm going to call you out on it here, sorry. What it basically means is sometimes things will sound counter-intuitive but they'll be very effective if you try them. This is one of those instances. Girls will be impressed and amazed when you allude to all the creepy msgs they get. This can work in real life too.

From your responses I can tell that you're logically finding reasons why it wouldn't work but you haven't actually tried it all out. I have. You're doing alot of KJing by saying things that you THINK are logically true but you haven't really verified. Your logic is wrong :P

you would have better luck getting replies by taking a random excerpt from your local newspaper and putting a question mark at the end of it then saying "I bet you get a ton of creepy guys msging you? As long as you're not a creepy guy yourself, msg me back ;o"

meh. You guys are unadventurous. I challenge any of you to copy/paste that exact line to 100 women. I bet most of you get better results with it than you do now.

Also I remember why I never enter any PUA related threads. They're frustrating and I spend too much time f5ing, so I'm probably going to bow out of this one.

The original topic has already been dealt with anyways . 2 dates to get laid yo!

traz - Just because I haven't done it doesn't mean my opinion on it is wrong. I wouldn't recommend messaging a woman with, "hey, do you want to give me a blow job?" either. The fact that I haven't tried that doesn't mean I should test it out.

I think alluding to the creepo-factor a bit later on is better than right at the start.

I disagree man, that opener is where charisma goes to die. But I'm forgetting this thread is about just getting laid by any woman on these sites, so it might attract just the type of girl OP is looking for. For decent girls though, any message that can be copy and pasted to more than one girl is terrible and shows no character.

This thread needs some Andy :

University of Andy

Okay, I actually tracked down my old profile that was getting girls to message me (and getting me mucho success when I would message girls). I'm surprised the profile or whatever wasn't deleted after all this time. Anyway, most of you probably aren't into the types of girls that I would be into so just kind of roll with it and understand that part.

Here's a part of it:

Q - Why you should get to know me (tell a little about yourself):

Because I can set the hi-score on your favorite bar's Ms. Pac-Man machine...which should impress you to no end.

I am now semi-adept eating sushi with chopsticks but it took some practice.

I taught myself to play piano. I can also juggle.
I have a pair of really cool shoes.

I like Game-Show Network but it's kinda going downhill these days. i now get my cable for free.

i am drunk on a tuesday as i am updating this profile.
i am also gainfully employed.

Favorite band name that doesn't exist yet - The Lazy Susans (alternative - The Lazy Suzannes).

I don't like Florida.

I recently cleaned out my car from top to bottom and uncovered $91.36 (not including random Canadian change).

I am not originally from this area so I don't have that amusing southern twang thing.

I have had zero Elvis sightings here.

"Sassy" is a fun word.

I still get crushes on people I barely know.

I have a low voice that some women find sexy.

I like the new Vanilla Coke.

Making out is really fun.

I don't like "Yo!" although I will say 'Dude' upon occasion.

I remember a lot of my dreams.

I am definitely a night-person.

I can kick everyone's ass at baseball trivia.

I prefer Gin-and-tonics to beer.

my best friend looks like Bruce Springsteen.

I have never smoked a cigarette although said Springsteen-lookalike thinks I should because it would somehow suit me.

The groovy tie I'm sporting in my profile pic is my favorite although it makes me look far preppier than I really am.

recently updated for your amusement and bemusement.

Thanks for reading.
Have a happy day.

I think you're missing about 5k words MicroBob, don't hold out on us.

This thread got so insanely bad so fast.

MB, I liked it. Currently editing my profile to something similar.

hi anacardo - Care to provide any insight as to why you think this or do you just feel like trolling?


Take it easy on my personal write-up thingee. I didn't have to put it up there. Just trying to help with an idea I guess.


edit - thanks dyen. I wouldn't go copycatting too much though if it's not really you. Just threw it out there as one example of a 'different' kind of style thaa happened to work me and isn't the same old boring crap.

Well, I guess I should have just stopped reading, but now that the 'merit' argument is over, people climbing on each others' backs to post their online dating strategies / details makes me want to claw my own eyes out.

Some people really suck at it and just have no ideas on how to change. I'm offering suggestions on how to loosen up a little and just have some fun with it while also hopefully not looking totally desperate.

And I met you about 8 years after I moved away from home, meaning you never got the full effect of it before my accent got watered down.

Last week, somebody noticed I wasn't talking like a local, and asked me where I was from. When I pointed to my Red Sox t-shirt, he replied, "Really? You don't sound like you're from up there. You must have left a long time ago." Yeah, it's been almost 20 years now.

I've got a real identity crisis going on. I recently quit playing poker and betting sports, which means I now don't gamble at all (after a lifetime that pretty much revolved around gambling); recently stepped out of a very long marriage; my kids recently reached the age where they'd rather not spend every waking minute with me; and now I'm even losing my distinctive accent? Who am I????? What happened to me?????

If they weren't interested, they never would have replied. They have a delete key, and they know how to use it.

If you get a reply that doesn't leave you much to work with, call them out on it. "That's it? I send you the funniest greeting you've ever got on this site, and I get a six-word reply? What, did you put that profile up just to see how many emails you'd get? You've got to put a little more effort into this, Miss Slacker. Now go ahead, take another swing at it, I know you can do it..."

Of course, it helps if you remembered to put the emphasis on the funny in your original greeting.

She's really hung up on the fact that I'm still rooming with my ex-wife. I get that.

I finally called her today. She gave me some BS about how we were supposed to be "just hanging out," and implied that I was out of line by making a move at the end of the night. ****ing women. My favorite Deadwood line is a deleted one that Milch mentioned in a DVD commentary track: "If it wasn't for that thing between their legs, we wouldn't even talk to 'em."

I totally called her out, and put it all on her. Reminded her that I was on my best behavior, and that she was the one who set us down that path. She replied, "Too bad you're not single."

ME: Stop saying I'm not single! My marriage has been over for more than a year now, and everyone seems to realize that but you.

HER: Not divorced = not single.

ME: Hey, look, she's moving out sometime this month. If you want to wait until then, I totally respect that. But it's gonna be a lot longer before I scrape up the money for a lawyer and a divorce proceeding--if you haven't heard, there's a recession going on--and I don't plan on waiting THAT long.

That changed her whole tune. Suddenly, "You're the guy I've been looking for." Now she's asking ME out, and we've both got tomorrow off. Now she's sending me texts, saying she wants to be more than buddies, but she needs "one more kiss", which I'm going out on a limb and translating as, "I have a three-date rule before I give it up."

Date Two tomorrow night. Stay tuned.

By the way, nobody ever answered my question, "Knowing already that I'm finished with this girl as soon as I bang her, am I *not* supposed to feel like a horrible person at this point???" Again, that's an attitude I'm having a tough time embracing.

(Heh, get a load of me, the 340-lb heartbreaker.)


I don't disagree. Thanks for the constructive advice.

What does f5 do?

Whatever you do...don't do this. It's too confrontational and a turn-off even though you are just trying to make a joke.

Steven's situation wasn't that the reply was super short. He said it was a well-thought out reply but it didn't ask any questions back at him.

Steven - They are assuming that you are intelligent enough to elaborate on yourself without them having to specifically ask, "do you like dogs?" They also don't want to seem desperate or weird by saying, "well, I guess you can reply if you want." Just write back to them already and stop waiting for them to ask you whatever questions you think they should be asking.

I honestly you would think they wouldn't want you to respond and that you have a hard time understanding that them elaborating about themselves is an invitation to continue to the conversation. But it does have me re-thinking my position on a couple of traz's points.