Two Plus Two Publishing LLC
Two Plus Two Publishing LLC
 

Go Back   Two Plus Two Poker Forums > >

Notices

News, Views, and Gossip For poker news, views, and gossip

Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 06-22-2008, 09:06 PM   #26
Spencer Matt
stranger
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 14
Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

playing 5/10 NLH. 3 players all in pre flop. my friend has KK V AA V A8 the KK and A8 had 2K more than the player with AA. The Aces hold and the KK holds against the A8. My friend takes his side pot which was about 4k at this point the chinese guy grabs my friends hands and takes all the pot the and adds it to his stack the dealer than takes it back. The chinese guy stands up and starts shouting “ACES ACES” across the casino. About 10 minutes later this guy flopped a flush against my friends set, the river then pairs the board and gives him a full house, this Chinese man in disgust throws his chips at my friend and shouts at his friend to give him more money.

online
i get 46 clubs flop comes 577 2 clubs both check the turn is a 5 diamonds both check the river is the 3 of clubs. I bet this guy times down and calls me... he shows 63, he thought his 3 pair would be good! (he had 6 high btw)

Last edited by Spencer Matt; 06-22-2008 at 09:12 PM.
Spencer Matt is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-22-2008, 09:10 PM   #27
chunkyass69
old hand
 
chunkyass69's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: They mostly come at night, mostly
Posts: 1,865
Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

I was at the planethollywood playing 1/2 NL and within the first two hours of sitting down the guy to the right of me had lost 600 dollars. He was down to $26 and when the waitress came by he ordered and drink and said "Take your tip now, cuz im gonna lose it before you get back". He lost his last $25 and waited on the rail for his corona. I dunno, that was funny to me atleast.
chunkyass69 is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-22-2008, 09:26 PM   #28
markkaz
centurion
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Los Angeles, CA
Posts: 161
Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

Live at The Bike, $40 NL:

Seat 6 brings a stack of chips forward and makes a couple stacks of five $1 chips but the third stack is only four chips. He reaches back and adds a chip to make it an even $15. Seat 4 comments that it is a "String Bet" and Seat 6 removes the chip without a complaint. Seat 4 states that he may need to save that $1 if he wants to call the raise. He did call the raise but on the turn, he folded his hand to a continuation bet by Seat 6. Seat 4 tells the table, "See! I saved myself a dollar!"

That's really the set-up for this next situation. A few hands later, Seat 4 makes a raise to $10. Seat 5 states 'call' but starts bringing out out her chips two at a time. 2, 2, 2...

I blurt out, "Hey! That's a STRING CALL". The whole table laughs even the dealer. Seat 5 however didn't get it and started yelling at me. Thankfully, Seat 6 calmed her down and said that I was only joking because there is no such thing a string call.
markkaz is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-22-2008, 09:35 PM   #29
MaxRaises
Carpal \'Tunnel
 
MaxRaises's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2007
Location: the moon
Posts: 6,510
Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

Quote:
Originally Posted by markkaz View Post
Live at The Bike, $40 NL:

Seat 6 brings a stack of chips forward and makes a couple stacks of five $1 chips but the third stack is only four chips. He reaches back and adds a chip to make it an even $15. Seat 4 comments that it is a "String Bet" and Seat 6 removes the chip without a complaint. Seat 4 states that he may need to save that $1 if he wants to call the raise. He did call the raise but on the turn, he folded his hand to a continuation bet by Seat 6. Seat 4 tells the table, "See! I saved myself a dollar!"

That's really the set-up for this next situation. A few hands later, Seat 4 makes a raise to $10. Seat 5 states 'call' but starts bringing out out her chips two at a time. 2, 2, 2...

I blurt out, "Hey! That's a STRING CALL". The whole table laughs even the dealer. Seat 5 however didn't get it and started yelling at me. Thankfully, Seat 6 calmed her down and said that I was only joking because there is no such thing a string call.

Idiotic
MaxRaises is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-22-2008, 09:57 PM   #30
PropPlayer
Sports Betting Mod
 
Join Date: Oct 2005
Location: Southeast Asia
Posts: 3,773
Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

Live:
The Main Event someone how has 2 million extra chips added and a Moran site still wins.
Online: To many to list, some of the top few: Absolute Poker being caught red handed in multiple lies, 2+2 posters pwning Ultimate Bet and Absolute Poker, a press release announcing "Absolute Poker Security Summit", JohnnyBax and Rizen signing with and defending Ultimate Bet, and much funnier was the latest press release UB sent which announced 'unfair advantage' had occurred, failed to mention the same company owns Absolute Poker and tried to pass off the only known super user accounts cheating scandals in history as being totally separate from one another, oh wait the fact that UB, KGC and GA all missed a bunch of other cheating counts is funny too... but hands down the funniest I've ever seen online is People still play at Ultimate Bet.
PropPlayer is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-22-2008, 11:07 PM   #31
ezdonkey
veteran
 
ezdonkey's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2006
Location: MAKING STEEL
Posts: 2,964
Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

Quote:
Originally Posted by JMX View Post
Online:

POKERSTARS GAME #15340951428: TOURNAMENT #77667257, HOLD'EM NO LIMIT - MATCH ROUND I, LEVEL I (10/20) - 2008/02/17 - 01:54:49 (ET)
Table '77667257 1' 2-max Seat #1 is the button
Seat 1: kenseal (740 in chips)
Seat 2: JMX29 (2260 in chips)
kenseal: posts small blind 10
JMX29: posts big blind 20
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to JMX29 [7d Jc]
kenseal: raises 20 to 40
JMX29: calls 20
*** FLOP *** [Tc 9c 8s]
JMX29: checks
kenseal: bets 20
JMX29: raises 20 to 40
kenseal: raises 20 to 60
JMX29: raises 20 to 80
kenseal: raises 20 to 100
JMX29: raises 20 to 120
kenseal: raises 20 to 140
JMX29: raises 20 to 160
kenseal: raises 20 to 180
JMX29: raises 20 to 200
kenseal: raises 20 to 220
JMX29: raises 20 to 240
kenseal: raises 20 to 260
JMX29: raises 20 to 280
kenseal: raises 20 to 300
JMX29: raises 20 to 320
kenseal: raises 20 to 340
JMX29: raises 20 to 360
kenseal: raises 20 to 380
JMX29: raises 20 to 400
kenseal: raises 20 to 420
JMX29: raises 20 to 440
kenseal: raises 20 to 460
JMX29: raises 20 to 480
kenseal: raises 220 to 700 and is all-in
JMX29: calls 220
*** TURN *** [Tc 9c 8s] [As]
*** RIVER *** [Tc 9c 8s As] [Th]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
JMX29: shows [7d Jc] (a straight, Seven to Jack)
kenseal: shows [4h Qh] (a pair of Tens)
JMX29 collected 1480 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 1480 | Rake 0
Board [Tc 9c 8s As Th]
Seat 1: kenseal (button) (small blind) showed [4h Qh] and lost with a pair of Tens
Seat 2: JMX29 (big blind) showed [7d Jc] and won (1480) with a straight, Seven to Jack

But I was really disappointed that he shoved after the 17th or bet or whatever it was.

That's no-limit, baby!
ezdonkey is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-22-2008, 11:20 PM   #32
turbohydrate
centurion
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: North Sydney
Posts: 178
Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

Online my buddy was getting short deep in a MTT and it's folded around to him in the small blind and he shoves in with 67s, (his M was only 3 or 4 maybe). BB snap calls him with JJ, flops a set but loses to a runner runner straight. Right after the hand my buddy write "Bad call with Jacks" and the BB goes ballistic. I don't know maybe I just like seeing the needle stuck in a little bit.

Live a long time ago I saw a guy call off a bet on the river with the board showing 45678 with 67 saying "I call I got two pair, plus the straight" Love when they open their mouths and clearly identify themselves lol.
turbohydrate is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-22-2008, 11:24 PM   #33
ordinary_guy
centurion
 
Join Date: Jan 2007
Posts: 115
Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

OK funniest thing/ line ive heard live was about 3 months ago local casino in Indiana.

1/2 nl Guy to my right bets $12, Im all in for $28 2 guys behind call

flop Q J 9 Guy to my right bets out 100 guy behind INSTA SLAMS IN 142 "ALL IN" with overwhelming confindence. guy to my right says "damn guess im beat but have to call the 42 now"

Turn 10 river 6 Guy to right turns over Q2 Guy behind turns over J6 off for 2 pair, we look a little confused ..... First guy says "wtf" guy says "man I knew it I looked down preflop saw J6 and knew I was going to be all in this hand" he was dead serious then " J6 off is my favorite hand"

lol wtf is wrong with some people
ordinary_guy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-22-2008, 11:26 PM   #34
DarkMagus
Carpal \'Tunnel
 
DarkMagus's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2007
Location: Canada
Posts: 8,391
Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

Live: some old woman saying, "I'll play my jack-fives, but that's as low as I'll go. I won't play jack-four."

Online: I was donking around at play chips on FTP and some guy on there is going "BEWARE, THE APOCOLAYPSE IS COMING"!! and starts going on about how everyone is damned, the world is ending, etc. etc. He also warns everyone not to play poker for real money online because it's rigged. I start chatting with him, playing along, and he offers to send me more stuff by email. I'm down for a laugh so I give him my email address. Like an hour later he sends me this huge email filled with information and links to websites for some crazy Jehovah's Witness sect or something.
DarkMagus is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-22-2008, 11:30 PM   #35
Bawookles
adept
 
Bawookles's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2008
Location: SuperValueTown
Posts: 730
Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

Quote:
Originally Posted by DarkMagus View Post
Online: I was donking around at play chips on FTP and some guy on there is going "BEWARE, THE APOCOLAYPSE IS COMING"!! and starts going on about how everyone is damned, the world is ending, etc. etc. He also warns everyone not to play poker for real money online because it's rigged. I start chatting with him, playing along, and he offers to send me more stuff by email. I'm down for a laugh so I give him my email address. Like an hour later he sends me this huge email filled with information and links to websites for some crazy Jehovah's Witness sect or something.
I remember that guy, I always ran into him while playing for play money on Fool Tilt. Total nutjob.
Bawookles is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-22-2008, 11:49 PM   #36
rizeagainst
banned
 
rizeagainst's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: what century is this?
Posts: 8,179
Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

Some guy that was accusing me of cheating a while back in .1/.2 games on Cake

Coach CK: has anyone ever seen ****** lose a showdown?
Coach CK: I just emailed Cake Poker Network
Coach CK: I think he is using cheat software
ThinEdge: that explains his huge stack
Coach CK: check his stack on the other tables
Coach CK: 42.10
Coach CK: 67.92
******: 70.90
Coach CK: I see atleast 5 table he is on and hes ahead on
them all
Coach CK: pokerspying dot com
Coach CK: is something I think he has

Coach CK: has anyone else noticed how ****** NEVER loses
a hand?
Coach CK: I think he uses cheat software
Coach CK: join me in alerting Cake Network
Coach CK: someone else the other night was talking about him
Coach CK: the more of us that contact Cake, the more they will
look into his hand history
Coach CK: I helped Full Tilt catch someone cheating a year ago
Coach CK: this guy is doing the same things
rizeagainst is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2008, 03:01 AM   #37
BloodZebra
newbie
 
Join Date: Feb 2008
Posts: 43
Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

Quote:
Originally Posted by ordinary_guy View Post
1/2 nl ... Im all in for $28
Funniest part imo
BloodZebra is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2008, 06:21 AM   #38
Rekrul
grinder
 
Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 617
Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

not funniest ever, but

last night i lost a 20k+ pot at 10/20 against lamont jordan with A3 on 245 against 55, and when the river paired the board (female dealer) he yells

DAYAMN SHE DESERVES c o c k FOR THAT ONE and tips her 500$

LOL
Rekrul is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2008, 06:32 AM   #39
kickpushcoast
Pooh-Bah
 
kickpushcoast's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2006
Location: you can find me in the A
Posts: 4,026
Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rekrul View Post
not funniest ever, but

last night i lost a 20k+ pot at 10/20 against lamont jordan with A3 on 245 against 55, and when the river paired the board (female dealer) he yells

DAYAMN SHE DESERVES c o c k FOR THAT ONE and tips her 500$

LOL
maybe not funniest but way better than these other crap ass stories
kickpushcoast is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2008, 06:55 AM   #40
slickss
old hand
 
slickss's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2006
Posts: 1,653
Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

Quote:
Originally Posted by markkaz View Post
I blurt out, "Hey! That's a STRING CALL".
[ ] Retelling a joke that you made is indeed funny
slickss is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2008, 06:55 AM   #41
Anthony Montana
banned
 
Anthony Montana's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 283
Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

Playing live at MGM 1/2NL had an all in 3-way on flop of AQJ after mad action preflop with monster stacks of about $1k twice and $800 the last. Hands are QJ, AK and KT. Turn brings a J to give the guy a boat and the other two drawing to an ace and the river is a Ten making AK guy thinking he's won with a straight and hi-fiving his mates.

How we lol'd!
Anthony Montana is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2008, 07:20 AM   #42
clickingbuttons
veteran
 
clickingbuttons's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: African
Posts: 2,779
Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

Donking around in a live rebuy tournament, 1st hand got it all in on the flop 3 way top pair v my mates OESD v my flush draw. B4 the turn sum wise guy noticed he hadnt burnt a card pf. The dealer decided 2 take away the 1st card burn it and put down a new flop card, leaving me and my matey all in with no draw!!!

When we complained the dealer said "Fine u can deal urself and stormed off!!!"

He was sacked, but moved 2 the baller casino i play in regulaaarrr
clickingbuttons is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2008, 02:05 PM   #43
rokstedy
old hand
 
rokstedy's Avatar
 
Join Date: May 2005
Location: cow says moo
Posts: 1,746
Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

Online, the guy who called all-in on the button with some weak trash that I can't remember. When asked why he called, he said "because I had position".
rokstedy is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2008, 02:36 PM   #44
clickingbuttons
veteran
 
clickingbuttons's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: African
Posts: 2,779
Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

Quote:
Originally Posted by rokstedy View Post
Online, the guy who called all-in on the button with some weak trash that I can't remember. When asked why he called, he said "because I had position".
When u understand the value of position, thats when u have become a good player
clickingbuttons is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2008, 02:53 PM   #45
Wyman
Carpal \'Tunnel
 
Wyman's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Redoubling with gusto
Posts: 12,649
Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

TV: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QJjjDULb6bM
Wyman is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2008, 03:09 PM   #46
KurtSF
Lucky Number Seven
 
KurtSF's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jul 2006
Location: 0EV against everyone ... seriously
Posts: 16,471
Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

Quote:
Originally Posted by Rekrul View Post
not funniest ever, but

last night i lost a 20k+ pot at 10/20 against lamont jordan with A3 on 245 against 55, and when the river paired the board (female dealer) he yells

DAYAMN SHE DESERVES c o c k FOR THAT ONE and tips her 500$

LOL
Maybe not the funniest ever, but prolly the funniest in this thread. I loled.
KurtSF is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2008, 03:14 PM   #47
potatoesareawesome
old hand
 
potatoesareawesome's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,349
Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

Quote:
Originally Posted by clickingbuttons View Post
When u understand the value of position, thats when u have become a good player
Wow I'm so slow at noticing levels and was gonna flame you.
potatoesareawesome is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2008, 03:25 PM   #48
clickingbuttons
veteran
 
clickingbuttons's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: African
Posts: 2,779
Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

Quote:
Originally Posted by KurtSF View Post
Maybe not the funniest ever, but prolly the funniest in this thread. I loled.
Very LOL mak mak
clickingbuttons is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2008, 03:52 PM   #49
sekrah
banned
 
Join Date: Jun 2005
Posts: 2,517
Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

Quote:
Originally Posted by KING$TER View Post
Online

While playing a MTT on Pokerstars a friend of mine asked why i didnt just keep switching seats by clicking "Sit Here" to avoid the blinds, pissed myself.


"Sit Here" does not come up in MTT's on Stars.
sekrah is offline   Reply With Quote
Old 06-23-2008, 03:55 PM   #50
Blue_Devil03
journeyman
 
Blue_Devil03's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Iowa
Posts: 299
Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

Quote:
Originally Posted by rokstedy View Post
Online, the guy who called all-in on the button with some weak trash that I can't remember. When asked why he called, he said "because I had position".
I lol'd
Blue_Devil03 is offline   Reply With Quote

Reply
      

Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Forum Jump


All times are GMT -4. The time now is 08:15 AM.


Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright ©2000 - 2021, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
Copyright 2008-2020, Two Plus Two Interactive