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Old 06-25-2008, 06:41 PM   #76
HappyOD
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Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

Quote:
Originally Posted by Blue_Devil03 View Post
what's oceans 11?

A nice little card room outside Oceanside just north of San Diego. Excellent food at really inexpensive prices. The motif is posters from the Original Ocean's Eleven movie with the rat pack.
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Old 06-25-2008, 07:05 PM   #77
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Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

4-8 Limit at Tulalip (WA). New guy, mid 20's, comes in with hoodie, ipod, and sunglasses and sits down with a totally serious look about him, like he's getting ready for battle...anyways... i'm in the 7 seat, and he's in the 2, so were basically on opposite ends of the table.

About 30 minutes later, I raise AJs in MP, new guy calls out of small blind, BB calls. Flop comes K 10 4, two clubs. Checked to me, I c-bet, new guy calls, BB folds.

Turn blank, he checks and I check behind. River blank, and again, check check.

I don't turn over my hand, instead waiting for him to show first. He turns over 8c9c. I stand up a bit to see exactly what it is he has, see the busted flush draw, and say "I'm good" and turn over my A high.

Dealer pushes me the pot, and as I'm stacking, I hear him mumble...

(wait)

"Slowroll"
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Old 06-25-2008, 08:16 PM   #78
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Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

Live: Playing $1/$3. Very solid player has been running over the table, though his play has gotten worse and worse as he continues to knock back drinks.

True to form, he raises from MP, 2 callers, gets to my friend in the BB with K4ss. He calls.

Flop comes K47. My friend value bets the flop and turn, drunk dude calls him down till the river pairs the 7. My friend checks, drunk dude checks, my friend turns over his hand. Dude mutters a bunch of stuff, flashes a King and throws his cards in the muck.

My friend, true gentleman, tells drunk dude, "No way you had a worse kicker than my four."

Drunk dude realizes the board counterfeited my friend's 2prr and rolls his eyes. My friend offers to split the pot, but drunk dude says, "Nah. Dumb muck like that I don't deserve to keep any of it."
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Old 06-25-2008, 11:00 PM   #79
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Probably not that uncommon at the micro-stakes...

This will sound more like a brag at first, and I'm sure this sort of thing probably happens all the time, but I had a guy in an micro online PLO game pot-raise preflop then jam against me on a K-Q-T flop. I had the made straight and a flush draw, but he obviously loved his hand, too. So I figured I was either freerolling against another A-J or up against a set that was hoping to fill up.

That is, until I saw his hand: 8-8-8-8.

He ended up losing (thankfully), then grumbled that the site had cheated him because his 'quads should have won".

Obviously, I didn't want to correct him, but some idiot quickly clued him into Omaha rules and killed any further possible action for the rest of us. That fargin' bastage.

Oh well -- fun while it lasted.
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Old 06-25-2008, 11:20 PM   #80
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Re: Probably not that uncommon at the micro-stakes...

Quote:
Originally Posted by Wilbury Twist View Post
This will sound more like a brag at first, and I'm sure this sort of thing probably happens all the time, but I had a guy in an micro online PLO game pot-raise preflop then jam against me on a K-Q-T flop. I had the made straight and a flush draw, but he obviously loved his hand, too. So I figured I was either freerolling against another A-J or up against a set that was hoping to fill up.

That is, until I saw his hand: 8-8-8-8.

He ended up losing (thankfully), then grumbled that the site had cheated him because his 'quads should have won".

Obviously, I didn't want to correct him, but some idiot quickly clued him into Omaha rules and killed any further possible action for the rest of us. That fargin' bastage.

Oh well -- fun while it lasted.
So if u had a straight 10-A and he had quads how did you win then?
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Old 06-26-2008, 05:31 AM   #81
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Re: Probably not that uncommon at the micro-stakes...

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Originally Posted by Jamsym View Post
So if u had a straight 10-A and he had quads how did you win then?
Are you serious??
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Old 06-26-2008, 10:56 AM   #82
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Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

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Originally Posted by KakiTee View Post
took a shot at a 5/10Euro game in a turkish cafe in germany
wat. sounds legit lol.
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Old 06-26-2008, 03:26 PM   #83
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Re: Probably not that uncommon at the micro-stakes...

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Originally Posted by Jamsym View Post
So if u had a straight 10-A and he had quads how did you win then?
level???
if not maybe you should quit poker.
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Old 06-26-2008, 03:49 PM   #84
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Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

The self-ownage in this thread was funny at first - then got a little uncomfortable but is now just lol - I'd feel embarrassed for those who don't even realize the joke is on themselves in these stories if it weren't for the fact that they were trying to make fun of someone else.
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Old 06-26-2008, 04:12 PM   #85
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Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

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Originally Posted by MasterLJ View Post
...and head over to the $1/$2 table and start open shoving. I still don't get it, but people left and were angry at me. Some people's kids just don't like money...
<3

Super standard. When I visit florida I'll sit with casual playing friends at 1/2 and open shove any 2 (not saying much since the table is usually only 20bb deep), and if I win I buy them a shot (sickest beat of all - drinks aren't comped) and people still get up mumbling "donkeykong" "this table is too crazy for me to win with solid play". It's almost a sure thing that if you start open shoving at 1/2 someone will leave offended at your generosity.

Last edited by ShippityDooDah; 06-26-2008 at 04:22 PM.
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Old 06-28-2008, 05:43 PM   #86
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Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

Quote:
Originally Posted by ShippityDooDah View Post
The self-ownage in this thread was funny at first - then got a little uncomfortable but is now just lol - I'd feel embarrassed for those who don't even realize the joke is on themselves in these stories if it weren't for the fact that they were trying to make fun of someone else.

M8 chill out
Get laid once in a while
Venture out of your room once in a while
Post proper replies.

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Old 06-29-2008, 01:26 AM   #87
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Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

Live:

Playing at the electronic tables in Casino Lac Leamy, 1/2 NL. Middle-aged Asian guy to my immediate right raises preflop and gets a caller, a young guy, pot is $25 or so. Flop is Kxx rainbow. Caller donkbets about half pot and the Asian guy quickly shoves on him for over $100 (caller has him slightly covered). Asian guy says he has pocket aces. Young guy is obviously pondering the call. Asian guy says I'll show you if you fold... more thinking. Young guy says I have a King. Then the Asian guy shows the young guy on his screen that he has AA and says "I don't want you to draw out on me"! I'm sitting next to him as well so I see his "cards" too. Then some dude on the other side of the table just trying to be a **** disturber says to the young guy, you know if you call you are going to hit! Of course, the guy calls with his KJo for another $100 or so, the turn is a 6 and the river is a King and the guy with AA busts.

[ ] pot odds
[x] registered to poast this
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Old 06-29-2008, 04:44 PM   #88
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Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

At a house game I was at a good friend of mine was having a rough night. We were playing 6/12 limit hold'em and he had several bad beats. Another player comes walking in the door, we called him pizza man because he was a delivery guy. Pizza man continues to needle my friend because they had a serious dislike for each other, and then it finally happened. They were down to heads up in a pot with my friend having pocket aces and pizza guy having 22 and the river comes a 2. Pizza guy check raises him on the river, and my friend having been 2 outed on the river was not pleased. Then pizza guy laughed and said that my friends game was a joke. All **** then ensued with my friend throwing a card perfectly and nailing pizza guy in the forehead. Pizza guy swung at my friend and missed, my friend, who is 6' 5" and weighs about 300, didn't miss. The ambulance took about 20 minutes to get there and pizza guy was delivering with a broken jaw for a while. Craziest thing I ever saw
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Old 06-29-2008, 06:03 PM   #89
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Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

1/2 NL at hardrock in FL. Old annoying crazy old man keeps badgering everyone at the table, including the dealers. yells at people for allegedly taking chips off the table, which they haven't, then gets up for a while and takes half his stack with him.
anyway, he gets involved in a huge pot where i guy puts him all in. he stares at the board, thinks about it for a while, then calls. About a $600 pot the other guy flips over the Ace high flush, and to be honest, the whole table started cheering because we thought we would be rid of this prick. he stares at the cards for like a full minute, and we're like dude muck your cards already. he then grabs three of the cards from the board, lays them out in front of him, and puts his two cards 57ss in with them, showing a straight flush, 4-8 of spades. he then pulls all the chips towards him, yells at the table, "AND YOU DON'T GET AN ICE CREAM CONE!" and leaves haha. a real wtf moment
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Old 06-29-2008, 07:39 PM   #90
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Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

tuff_fish videos obv
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Old 06-29-2008, 08:31 PM   #91
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Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

Quote:
Originally Posted by JohnP285 View Post
"I was on a set draw but I missed". Not sure if anybody else will think it's funny, but that's the only time I've ever heard that phrase in my life.
i was on a pair draw once and missed.
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Old 07-04-2008, 01:28 AM   #92
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Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

guy tells me I am a *** and that I one outed him after this hand

PokerStars Game #18569058736: Hold'em No Limit ($1/$2) - 2008/07/04 - 01:04:56 (ET)
Table 'Vinifera II' 9-max Seat #6 is the button
Seat 1: survival ($203 in chips)
Seat 3: maxsmitty ($152.80 in chips)
Seat 4: BoyItalia ($203 in chips)
Seat 5: scottiedog1 ($194.40 in chips)
Seat 6: big7dogg7 ($137.65 in chips)
Seat 8: Luciferian ($41.80 in chips)
Seat 9: Rajesh2345 ($100 in chips)
Luciferian: posts small blind $1
Rajesh2345: posts big blind $2
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to BoyItalia [Th Td]
survival: folds
maxsmitty: folds
BoyItalia: raises $4 to $6
scottiedog1: calls $6
big7dogg7: folds
TiiB leaves the table
Luciferian: folds
Rajesh2345: calls $4
*** FLOP *** [Tc 7h 2d]
Rajesh2345: checks
BoyItalia: bets $9
scottiedog1: raises $17 to $26
Rajesh2345: folds
BoyItalia: calls $17
*** TURN *** [Tc 7h 2d] [3s]
BoyItalia: checks
scottiedog1: bets $162.40 and is all-in
BoyItalia: calls $162.40
*** RIVER *** [Tc 7h 2d 3s] [3h]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
BoyItalia: shows [Th Td] (a full house, Tens full of Threes)
scottiedog1: mucks hand
BoyItalia collected $392.80 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $395.80 | Rake $3
Board [Tc 7h 2d 3s 3h]
Seat 1: survival folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 3: maxsmitty folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 4: BoyItalia showed [Th Td] and won ($392.80) with a full house, Tens full of Threes
Seat 5: scottiedog1 mucked [Ks Ts]
Seat 6: big7dogg7 (button) folded before Flop (didn't bet)
Seat 8: Luciferian (small blind) folded before Flop
Seat 9: Rajesh2345 (big blind) folded on the Flop
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Old 07-04-2008, 10:11 AM   #93
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Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

alright, take a look at this hand and notice the über-expert laydown by gandhi getting 3million-1 odds. soon later another player stated: "i heard of passive resistance but that was just cruel." - made me lol a bit.
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Old 07-04-2008, 11:02 PM   #94
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Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

Quote:
Originally Posted by blind squirrel View Post
alright, take a look at this hand and notice the über-expert laydown by gandhi getting 3million-1 odds. soon later another player stated: "i heard of passive resistance but that was just cruel." - made me lol a bit.
haha wow that is just classic.. but im sure he had check/fold clicked..
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Old 07-05-2008, 12:46 AM   #95
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Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sea Side View Post
1/2 NL at hardrock in FL. Old annoying crazy old man keeps badgering everyone at the table, including the dealers. yells at people for allegedly taking chips off the table, which they haven't, then gets up for a while and takes half his stack with him.
anyway, he gets involved in a huge pot where i guy puts him all in. he stares at the board, thinks about it for a while, then calls. About a $600 pot the other guy flips over the Ace high flush, and to be honest, the whole table started cheering because we thought we would be rid of this prick. he stares at the cards for like a full minute, and we're like dude muck your cards already. he then grabs three of the cards from the board, lays them out in front of him, and puts his two cards 57ss in with them, showing a straight flush, 4-8 of spades. he then pulls all the chips towards him, yells at the table, "AND YOU DON'T GET AN ICE CREAM CONE!" and leaves haha. a real wtf moment
lol
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Old 07-05-2008, 12:49 AM   #96
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Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

i was watching the 10000 PL omaha game at the RIO for the WSOP and saw kathy leibert take a bite of a pastrami sandwich and the meat was dangling from her mouth down her chin. Funny and disgusting.
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Old 07-05-2008, 02:04 AM   #97
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Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

was playing in a live 2/5 nl game with a huge spewing drunk donk. got into a pretty big pot with him and i missed my flush draw. i didn't put him on much either so i decided to shove the river with king hi. he called a nearly pot sized bet and tabled 8 hi

at the wsop main event last year some dude at my table had J7o on an unimproved board on the river and had been betting the whole way, somebody donk shoved into him on the river. it was a smallish bet and didn't put his tourney life at risk, so he said 'well, i have to call now' and tossed the chips in. JACK HI
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Old 07-05-2008, 02:13 AM   #98
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Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

Couldn't get through the entire thread but the funniest thing online I've ever seen (and I saw it second-hand) was the guy on PokerStars telling the other guy that his avatar is a funny looking dog and the guy replying, "that's my kid".
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Old 07-05-2008, 06:18 AM   #99
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Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

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Originally Posted by FyteOn View Post
Couldn't get through the entire thread but the funniest thing online I've ever seen (and I saw it second-hand) was the guy on PokerStars telling the other guy that his avatar is a funny looking dog and the guy replying, "that's my kid".


looks like he's getting followed around!

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Old 07-05-2008, 06:44 AM   #100
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Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

Live 2/5 game a couple months ago. I pick up AK and I have about a 200$ stack, a fat old guy makes it 30 under the gun, and theres 1 caller, comes to me and I push my 200$ stack all in, he tanks forever and finally folds and just goes off, berating me and telling me im horrible for pushing all in. My friend was sitting behind me at the time and goes "Did they teach you to talk like that at fat camp?" It was so classic, everyone at the table was laughing out loud.
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