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Old 06-23-2008, 03:58 PM   #51
rookiepsu
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Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

Quote:
Originally Posted by sekrah View Post
"Sit Here" does not come up in MTT's on Stars.

Actually it does if you right-click any seat but your own. It's how you choose where you're sitting in the UI.
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Old 06-23-2008, 03:59 PM   #52
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Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

Playing live tournament was in the big blind, action folded to the small blind, who turns and looks at me for about 30seconds while thinking what to do. Eventually he folds saying "I think from looking at you you've got a big hand, just a feeling I've got"
I smile and tell him I've yet to look at my hand. Whole table bursts out laughing.
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Old 06-23-2008, 04:07 PM   #53
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Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

Funniest thing I saw live was Carlo sleeping with a blanket in the 10/20 game at the Borgata when I walked in 4AM on an autumn Sunday morning. I played "Sunday Morning Coming Down" by Johnny Cash on my car CD player a week straight after seeing that.

On the net, I saw this guy from Oshkosh or somewhere trying to pick up a chick from LA on a 3/6 table on stars. I am not sure if there was actually a chick on the other side of that avatar, but the guy thought it was. Pathetic...
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Old 06-23-2008, 04:41 PM   #54
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Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

Quote:
Originally Posted by sekrah View Post
"Sit Here" does not come up in MTT's on Stars.
You utter gimp.

Right click on any pre occupied seat in tourney, Bingo, thats magic
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Old 06-24-2008, 03:00 AM   #55
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Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

Online:

saw a guy accidently type his cybersexing into the Pokerstars chat (favourite)
saw a guy who was down below 1bb come from 4th to finish 2nd in a SNG
saw a guy who was slow rolling get timed out of a hand (he said later, he had quads)

Live:

Guy claiming a straight JQKA2
Guy claiming a straight A2346 (blind spot for 5's)
Guy folding an A high straight on a rainbow board to a flashed "top pair" (the straight was on the board)
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Old 06-24-2008, 04:27 AM   #56
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Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

CLASSIC

Signed,

Krantz/FoxwoodsFiend


Definitely one of the funniest poker related things I've seen.
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Old 06-24-2008, 04:43 AM   #57
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Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

Quote:
Originally Posted by jadon View Post
[ ] Funny stuff so far
Peaked with the first two posts, then should have been locked.
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Old 06-24-2008, 04:50 AM   #58
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Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

2 funny live quotes tonight at Casino de Montreal

1- "I called pf with T5 because there is a lot of T's and 5's on the board tonight"

2- "It's the seventh time I have a pair and I can't hit another pair!"
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Old 06-24-2008, 04:52 AM   #59
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Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

Quote:
Originally Posted by ClutchCity View Post
CLASSIC

Signed,

Krantz/FoxwoodsFiend


Definitely one of the funniest poker related things I've seen.

never gets old
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Old 06-24-2008, 10:20 AM   #60
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Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

POKERSTARS GAME #7469740355: HOLD'EM NO LIMIT ($5/$10) - 2006/12/16 - 15:19:51 (ET)
Table 'Peneleos' 6-max Seat #4 is the button
Seat 4: Dalmations ($597 in chips)
Seat 5: Lukieplaya ($4614 in chips)
Seat 6: gambler2k4 ($995 in chips)
Lukieplaya: posts small blind $5
gambler2k4: posts big blind $10
__2cb__: sits out
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to Lukieplaya [4d As]
Dalmations: folds
Lukieplaya: raises $30 to $40
gambler2k4: raises $100 to $140
Longhorne joins the table at seat #2
Lukieplaya: raises $4474 to $4614 and is all-in
gambler2k4: calls $855 and is all-in
*** FLOP *** [8h 2d 3h]
*** TURN *** [8h 2d 3h] [6d]
*** RIVER *** [8h 2d 3h 6d] [2h]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
Lukieplaya: shows [4d As] (a pair of Deuces)
gambler2k4: mucks hand
Lukieplaya collected $1989 from pot
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Old 06-24-2008, 10:24 AM   #61
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Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

Quote:
Originally Posted by JMX View Post

kenseal: bets 20
JMX29: raises 20 to 40
kenseal: raises 20 to 60
JMX29: raises 20 to 80
kenseal: raises 20 to 100
JMX29: raises 20 to 120
kenseal: raises 20 to 140
JMX29: raises 20 to 160
kenseal: raises 20 to 180
JMX29: raises 20 to 200
kenseal: raises 20 to 220
JMX29: raises 20 to 240
kenseal: raises 20 to 260
JMX29: raises 20 to 280
kenseal: raises 20 to 300
JMX29: raises 20 to 320
kenseal: raises 20 to 340
JMX29: raises 20 to 360
kenseal: raises 20 to 380
JMX29: raises 20 to 400
kenseal: raises 20 to 420
JMX29: raises 20 to 440
kenseal: raises 20 to 460
JMX29: raises 20 to 480
kenseal: raises 220 to 700 and is all-in
JMX29: calls 220
*** TURN *** [Tc 9c 8s] [As]
*** RIVER *** [Tc 9c 8s As] [Th]
*** SHOW DOWN ***
JMX29: shows [7d Jc] (a straight, Seven to Jack)
kenseal: shows [4h Qh] (a pair of Tens)
JMX29 collected 1480 from pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot 1480 | Rake 0
Board [Tc 9c 8s As Th]
Seat 1: kenseal (button) (small blind) showed [4h Qh] and lost with a pair of Tens
Seat 2: JMX29 (big blind) showed [7d Jc] and won (1480) with a straight, Seven to Jack

But I was really disappointed that he shoved after the 17th or bet or whatever it was.

POKERSTARS GAME #17299807286: HOLD'EM NO LIMIT ($0.01/$0.02) - 2008/05/08 - 23:22:10 (ET)
Table 'Bussolini II' 6-max Seat #3 is the button
Seat 1: iceBANANAs ($4.48 in chips)
Seat 2: jaxter1970 ($0.94 in chips)
Seat 3: 18butler ($2.94 in chips)
Seat 4: CARD68 ($1.54 in chips)
Seat 5: punish15 ($8.47 in chips)
Seat 6: TwinTenors ($3.74 in chips)
CARD68: posts small blind $0.01
punish15: posts big blind $0.02
*** HOLE CARDS ***
Dealt to 18butler [8d Th]
punish15 said, "thx for ur help ice"
TwinTenors: folds
iceBANANAs said, "thats okay dude!"
iceBANANAs said, ""
iceBANANAs: calls $0.02
jaxter1970: calls $0.02
punish15 said, "im doing well"
18butler said, "d0nks limping huh"
18butler: raises $0.02 to $0.04
CARD68: folds
iceBANANAs said, "i mean and at $50 a lesson how good a bargin was it?"
punish15: raises $0.02 to $0.06
iceBANANAs: raises $0.02 to $0.08
punish15 said, "yep"
jaxter1970: calls $0.06
18butler: raises $0.02 to $0.10
punish15: raises $0.02 to $0.12
iceBANANAs said, "oooo"
iceBANANAs: folds
jaxter1970: calls $0.04
18butler: raises $0.02 to $0.14
punish15 said, "ive got Aces"
punish15: raises $0.02 to $0.16
jaxter1970: calls $0.04
18butler: raises $0.02 to $0.18
punish15: raises $0.02 to $0.20
iceBANANAs said, "ROFL"
punish15 said, "playing them perfectly"
jaxter1970: calls $0.04
iceBANANAs said, "im so proud of you son!"
18butler: raises $0.02 to $0.22
iceBANANAs said, "you've made an old poker pro happy"
punish15: raises $0.02 to $0.24
jaxter1970: calls $0.04
18butler said, "fkn hell"
18butler said, "decisions"
18butler: raises $0.02 to $0.26
iceBANANAs said, "LOOOOL"
punish15: raises $0.02 to $0.28
jaxter1970: raises $0.66 to $0.94 and is all-in
18butler said, "LOL jaxter finally got the point"
18butler: calls $0.68
iceBANANAs said, "LOLOL"
iceBANANAs said, "JAX GOT SKILLZ"
iceBANANAs said, "DAT KILLZ"
punish15: calls $0.66
*** FLOP *** [Kc 6c Qc]
punish15: bets $0.02
iceBANANAs said, "FOLD PUNISH"
iceBANANAs said, "FOLD TO ANY RE RAISE"
18butler: raises $0.02 to $0.04
punish15: raises $0.02 to $0.06
18butler: raises $0.02 to $0.08
TwinTenors said, "amusing at first, now ridiculous"
punish15: raises $0.02 to $0.10
18butler: raises $0.02 to $0.12
iceBANANAs said, " sir do you not understand 1c/2c"
18butler said, "tenors"
18butler said, "we have tough decisions to make here"
punish15: raises $0.02 to $0.14
18butler said, "its for like a maccas burger or something"
18butler said, "so if you wouldnt mind id like silence to think"
18butler: raises $0.02 to $0.16
TwinTenors said, "it's true"
TwinTenors said, "very serious artistry going on here"
punish15: calls $0.02
*** TURN *** [Kc 6c Qc] [5s]
punish15: bets $0.02
18butler: raises $0.02 to $0.04
iceBANANAs said, "this is the most intense game i have ever seen"
punish15: calls $0.02
*** RIVER *** [Kc 6c Qc 5s] [9h]
punish15 said, "action card"
18butler said, "i.....i just cant get a read on punish"
punish15: bets $0.02
18butler said, "hes owning my soul with these raises"
18butler: raises $0.02 to $0.04
punish15: raises $0.02 to $0.06
18butler said, "..............."
18butler: raises $0.02 to $0.08
punish15: raises $0.02 to $0.10
TwinTenors said, "nice"
iceBANANAs said, "holy **** what could he have.."
18butler: raises $0.02 to $0.12
punish15: raises $0.02 to $0.14
18butler said, "id just like to say"
iceBANANAs said, "WHAT A MOVE"
iceBANANAs said, "WHO WOULD HAVE SEEN IT COMING"
18butler said, "that its been an honour playing with you gentlemen"
punish15 said, "I LOVE THIS COUNTRY"
18butler: raises $0.02 to $0.16
18butler said, "god bless america"
18butler said, "i can't believe we're alive"
punish15 said, "SO SICK"
punish15: raises $0.02 to $0.18
18butler said, "i mean one night our parents............and now we're here"
18butler said, "so sick"
18butler: raises $0.02 to $0.20
iceBANANAs said, "dude"
iceBANANAs said, "my parents never did that"
punish15: raises $0.02 to $0.22
punish15 said, "lol cant believe these guys are sticking around"
iceBANANAs said, "more like one day dad was in the lab.."
18butler: raises $0.02 to $0.24
18butler said, "so sick"
punish15: raises $0.02 to $0.26
iceBANANAs said, "how can they not?"
18butler: raises $0.02 to $0.28
iceBANANAs said, "this is one of the biggest hands pokerstars has ever seen"
iceBANANAs said, "its bigger than the 10 billionth"
punish15: raises $0.02 to $0.30
iceBANANAs said, "hey who was the tard that folded that hand?"
18butler: raises $0.02 to $0.32
punish15: raises $0.02 to $0.34
iceBANANAs said, "xtedforrestx?"
18butler: raises $0.02 to $0.36
punish15: raises $0.02 to $0.38
18butler: raises $0.02 to $0.40
CARD68 leaves the table
punish15: raises $0.02 to $0.42
18butler: raises $0.02 to $0.44
punish15 said, "quick raise huh?>"
punish15: raises $0.02 to $0.46
iceBANANAs said, "pressure on punish"
18butler: raises $0.02 to $0.48
iceBANANAs said, "AND HE RAISE"
18butler said, "im strong"
punish15 said, "timing tells"
iceBANANAs said, "BUTLER COMES BACK WITH A RERAISe"
punish15: raises $0.02 to $0.50
punish15 said, "maybe i shuld fold?"
iceBANANAs said, "PPUNISH RERAISE"
iceBANANAs said, "THE ACTION IS HARD AND FAST"
18butler: raises $0.02 to $0.52
punish15: raises $0.02 to $0.54
18butler said, "sorry for the time taken boys"
18butler said, "i just cant deal with this pressure"
iceBANANAs said, "BUTLER WITH ANOTHER RERAISE ONLY TO BE COUNTERED BY PUNISHS INSTA RERAISE"
18butler: raises $0.02 to $0.56
iceBANANAs said, "WHAT WILL HE DO NOW?!"
iceBANANAs said, "AND HE DID IT"
iceBANANAs said, "HE RERAISE"
iceBANANAs said, "WHO WOULD HAVE SEEN IT COMING"
punish15: raises $0.02 to $0.58
18butler: raises $0.02 to $0.60
iceBANANAs said, "WHAT A MOVE"
iceBANANAs said, "I HAVE NOT SEEN PLAYS LIKE THIS SINCE THE BRUNSON DAYS OF THE 70's"
punish15: raises $0.02 to $0.62
18butler: raises $0.02 to $0.64
punish15: raises $0.02 to $0.66
iceBANANAs said, "NOT EVEN JOHNNY CHAN AT HIS PEAK COULD MAKE MOVES LIKE THIS"
18butler said, "brunsons a fish"
18butler said, "he woulda folded this long ago"
18butler: raises $0.02 to $0.68
punish15: raises $0.02 to $0.70
iceBANANAs said, "OOO AND SOME BANTER FROM BUTLER"
18butler: raises $0.02 to $0.72
punish15 said, "u got nothing"
mikey-kale joins the table at seat #4
punish15: raises $0.02 to $0.74
iceBANANAs said, "PUNISH WITH A GIANT RERAISE OF 2 cents"
18butler: raises $0.02 to $0.76
punish15: raises $0.02 to $0.78
18butler: raises $0.02 to $0.80
iceBANANAs said, "THE ACTION JUST GETS MORE INTENSE WITH EVERY RERAISE"
punish15: raises $0.02 to $0.82
18butler: raises $0.02 to $0.84
iceBANANAs said, "THE QUESTION IS WHO WILL HAVE THE DEFINING RERAISE"
punish15: raises $0.02 to $0.86
18butler: raises $0.02 to $0.88
punish15: raises $0.02 to $0.90
18butler: raises $0.02 to $0.92
punish15 said, "me"
punish15 said, "im gonna get this guy to fold"
punish15: raises $0.02 to $0.94
18butler: raises $0.02 to $0.96
iceBANANAs said, "i had the chance to interview punish before the action started"
punish15: raises $0.02 to $0.98
18butler: raises $0.02 to $1
punish15: raises $0.02 to $1.02
iceBANANAs said, "he stated very clearly that he thought nothing of his openent and would do what ever it took to take him down"
18butler: raises $0.02 to $1.04
iceBANANAs said, "we are seeing the knives really come out now"
punish15: raises $0.02 to $1.06
18butler: raises $0.02 to $1.08
punish15: raises $0.02 to $1.10
18butler: raises $0.02 to $1.12
mikey-kale leaves the table
iceBANANAs said, "it has just been play after play from these to competitors"
punish15: raises $0.02 to $1.14
sodastereo joins the table at seat #4
18butler: raises $0.02 to $1.16
punish15: raises $0.02 to $1.18
18butler: raises $0.02 to $1.20
punish15: raises $0.02 to $1.22
18butler: raises $0.02 to $1.24
punish15: raises $0.02 to $1.26
18butler: raises $0.02 to $1.28
punish15: raises $0.02 to $1.30
18butler: raises $0.02 to $1.32
iceBANANAs said, "many have said that these two internet prodigys are overrated but i think we are seeing a true testament of skill here today"
punish15 said, "yep"
punish15: raises $0.02 to $1.34
18butler said, "pretty much"
iceBANANAs said, "and i cannot wiat to do a write up about it on pocket5's"
punish15 said, "ive playeds this hand well"
18butler: raises $0.02 to $1.36
18butler said, "god i can't believe we're alice"
18butler said, "alive"
punish15: raises $0.02 to $1.38
18butler said, "so sick"
18butler: raises $0.02 to $1.40
iceBANANAs said, "there will be post hand interviews"
18butler said, "i love america"
punish15: raises $0.02 to $1.42
18butler: raises $0.02 to $1.44
iceBANANAs said, "speical hand analysis and much much more"
punish15: raises $0.02 to $1.46
18butler: raises $0.02 to $1.48
punish15: raises $0.02 to $1.50
18butler: raises $0.02 to $1.52
punish15: raises $0.02 to $1.54
18butler: raises $0.02 to $1.56
punish15: raises $0.02 to $1.58
18butler: raises $0.02 to $1.60
punish15: raises $0.02 to $1.62
18butler: raises $0.02 to $1.64
punish15: raises $0.02 to $1.66
18butler: raises $0.02 to $1.68
punish15: raises $0.02 to $1.70
18butler: raises $0.02 to $1.72
punish15: raises $0.02 to $1.74
18butler: raises $0.02 to $1.76
iceBANANAs said, "AND BUTLER IS NOW ALMOST OUT OF MONEy"
iceBANANAs said, "WHAT WILLL HAPPEN NEXT"
punish15 said, "cant fold sorry"
iceBANANAs said, "PUNISH HAS HIM COMPLETELY COVERED"
punish15: raises $0.02 to $1.78
18butler said, "ooh man"
18butler said, "nice pot bud"
18butler said, "congrats"
18butler: folds
*** SHOW DOWN ***
punish15: shows [As Td] (high card Ace)
punish15 collected $3.72 from side pot
jaxter1970: shows [Jd Js] (a pair of Jacks)
jaxter1970 collected $2.81 from main pot
*** SUMMARY ***
Total pot $6.83 Main pot $2.81. Side pot $3.72. | Rake $0.30
Board [Kc 6c Qc 5s 9h]
Seat 1: iceBANANAs folded before Flop
Seat 2: jaxter1970 showed [Jd Js] and won ($2.81) with a pair of Jacks
Seat 3: 18butler (button) folded on the River
Seat 4: CARD68 (small blind) folded before Flop
Seat 5: punish15 (big blind) showed [As Td] and won ($3.72) with high card Ace
Seat 6: TwinTenors folded before Flop (didn't bet)

imo
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Old 06-24-2008, 10:32 AM   #62
SmokeyJ
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Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

also this story isn't really funny and i wasn't even there, but i heard the uproar and to be there prob would have been amazing.

at local golf club or whatever in a stupid $10 buyin tourney that i fkn hate playing and will never go in again. last two left in t he tourney, they were all in JJ vs 99 and the dealer had dealt out the turn with no help to anyone and only river to come. Everyone was watching and quiet, and the dealer dealt out the river which was obv a 9. There's like a massive uproar and someone points out to the dealer that they hadn't burnt the card.

Following was a pretty massive fight, the person who rivered the 9 arguing that it didn't matter and person with JJ trying to get dealer to redeal the river and after a while its decided that the 9 will be the burn card. The person with 99 looked like they could cry.

Anyway dealer burns the 9 and deals the proper river .............. OBV the case 9. massive uproar
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Old 06-25-2008, 02:15 AM   #63
Sparks
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Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE



Hawaiian Gardens, a few nights ago.
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Old 06-25-2008, 02:30 AM   #64
MasterLJ
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Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

So I'm at Luxor with a few hours to kill before my plane takes off (that's where my crap-fiend buddy scores the free rooms). In case you don't know, the Luxor poker room is a bit of a joke. It's a roped off area surrounded by slot machines with the highest stakes being $1/$2.

So the night before I was ****ing wasted. There were 3 of us at the $53 SNG table and we convinced 1 guy to join our $200 last-longer bet. I also kept asking people if they wanted to red/black for a banana ($1k).

So I get pozzed to lose the last longer, and head over to the $1/$2 table and start open shoving. I still don't get it, but people left and were angry at me. Some people's kids just don't like money. Maybe it was 92s > AK. Anyway that was a -$600 adventure.

Back to the day... apparently this kid was at the table the prior night and was dumbfounded because I was quiet, composed and extremely hungover... instead of loud, obnoxious and GAMBOOOLING every hand, he wasn't even sure it was me, but I confessed.

So this table's awesome. Bunch of nice folks, including this guy who was a Vietnam Vet who doesn't like flying because he was shot down just after takeoff in Nam, and his brother perished in a similar accident. Sad stuff, but he was a pleasure to have at the table.

About an hour into my session this kid comes by and sits down. He's a fat kid in his early 20's and his mission is to just make everyone think he's a badass. He's at a $1/$2 table with his glasses on check-raising every other hand and showing the bluff. He's not drunk, he's just WAYYY better than you at poker. I'm sure most have played with someone like that at one point or another.

So fat kid and Nam Vet get into a pot. Flop is something like 6s 9s 2c. Fat kid bets, Nam vet calls. Turn is the Ts. Fat kid bets, Nam dude minraises, Fat kid calls. River is the 3s. Fat kid leads, Nam Vet minraises, Fat kid re-raises... Nam Vet says "straight flush?? that's the only thing that beats me!" I must say that this was 100% not an angle-shoot and it should have been really really clear to anyone who witnessed the hand. He's just a tourist having fun at a $1/$2 table and has no problem giving away his hand... he tanks for like 10 more seconds and says "I guess if you've got the str flush, you win" and pushes. Fat kid tanks forever and finally calls, flipping over Ks 5X and Nam Vet shows As Js to scoop. Very kindly and jokingly he says "man, I thought you had the str flush, I was worried!" Angrily serious and straight-faced the fat kid replies, "then why didn't you fold!?! That's ****ing ******ed, why didn't you fold?!?!?!" I started just busting up because this poker genius was 100% serious about getting someone to fold AsJs on a 4 spade board at a $1/$2 table at the Luxor.
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Old 06-25-2008, 03:03 AM   #65
Dilznoofus
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Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

The OP's live story is good imo.
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Old 06-25-2008, 04:34 AM   #66
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Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

my bros story from some ****ty bar tourney - a guy limps and it folds to someone in late position who raises all in, the limper says "any ace is good heads up, i call"

edit - and they were pretty deep
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Old 06-25-2008, 04:46 AM   #67
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Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

Live Story:

I'm dealing a "home" game frequented mostly by drug dealers. Somewhat dangerous, they don't tip, but we raked 10-20/hand, so whatever it was worth it. They get a real kick out of slowrolling each other and put more effort into that than anything else. So Thug 1 Makes it 50 to go (2/5 blinds, standard raise) Thug 2 goes into the tank and shoves for like 900. Thug 1 goes into a very serious 5 minutes of tanking, then slides his chips into the pot and says I hope you have AK. Board runs out Qxxxx 4 spades. Thug 1 turns over AA after much deliberation, Thug 2 examines the board for like 30 seconds, shakes his head, then turns over AA with the A of spades and takes the pot. No one else even seemed to find this bit out of the ordinary at all, but I was laughing in the inside.
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Old 06-25-2008, 04:50 AM   #68
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Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

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Originally Posted by SmokeyJ View Post
also this story isn't really funny and i wasn't even there, but i heard the uproar and to be there prob would have been amazing.

at local golf club or whatever in a stupid $10 buyin tourney that i fkn hate playing and will never go in again. last two left in t he tourney, they were all in JJ vs 99 and the dealer had dealt out the turn with no help to anyone and only river to come. Everyone was watching and quiet, and the dealer dealt out the river which was obv a 9. There's like a massive uproar and someone points out to the dealer that they hadn't burnt the card.

Following was a pretty massive fight, the person who rivered the 9 arguing that it didn't matter and person with JJ trying to get dealer to redeal the river and after a while its decided that the 9 will be the burn card. The person with 99 looked like they could cry.

Anyway dealer burns the 9 and deals the proper river .............. OBV the case 9. massive uproar

I dealt a similar hand. 862r. Two people get it all in. They turn over 66 and 22. Turn is a 2. River is a 6. Happens online a lot, but in real life it just seems so much more dramatic and everyone yelled so loud at the turn and the river was absurd. It stopped the game for like 5 mins.
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Old 06-25-2008, 04:51 AM   #69
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Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

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we raked 10-20/hand
wat
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Old 06-25-2008, 06:40 AM   #70
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Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

Quote:
Originally Posted by krmont22 View Post
I'm dealing a "home" game frequented mostly by drug dealers. Somewhat dangerous, they don't tip, but we raked 10-20/hand, so whatever it was worth it. They get a real kick out of slowrolling each other and put more effort into that than anything else.
I like this image...
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Old 06-25-2008, 06:46 AM   #71
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Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

hawaiian gardens, i use to play there like every night at 300NL. such bad players. do you go there a lot?
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Old 06-25-2008, 11:55 AM   #72
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Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

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So I'm at Luxor with a few hours to kill before my plane takes off (that's where my crap-fiend buddy scores the free rooms). In case you don't know, the Luxor poker room is a bit of a joke. It's a roped off area surrounded by slot machines with the highest stakes being $1/$2.

So the night before I was ****ing wasted. There were 3 of us at the $53 SNG table and we convinced 1 guy to join our $200 last-longer bet. I also kept asking people if they wanted to red/black for a banana ($1k).

So I get pozzed to lose the last longer, and head over to the $1/$2 table and start open shoving. I still don't get it, but people left and were angry at me. Some people's kids just don't like money. Maybe it was 92s > AK. Anyway that was a -$600 adventure.

Back to the day... apparently this kid was at the table the prior night and was dumbfounded because I was quiet, composed and extremely hungover... instead of loud, obnoxious and GAMBOOOLING every hand, he wasn't even sure it was me, but I confessed.

So this table's awesome. Bunch of nice folks, including this guy who was a Vietnam Vet who doesn't like flying because he was shot down just after takeoff in Nam, and his brother perished in a similar accident. Sad stuff, but he was a pleasure to have at the table.

About an hour into my session this kid comes by and sits down. He's a fat kid in his early 20's and his mission is to just make everyone think he's a badass. He's at a $1/$2 table with his glasses on check-raising every other hand and showing the bluff. He's not drunk, he's just WAYYY better than you at poker. I'm sure most have played with someone like that at one point or another.

So fat kid and Nam Vet get into a pot. Flop is something like 6s 9s 2c. Fat kid bets, Nam vet calls. Turn is the Ts. Fat kid bets, Nam dude minraises, Fat kid calls. River is the 3s. Fat kid leads, Nam Vet minraises, Fat kid re-raises... Nam Vet says "straight flush?? that's the only thing that beats me!" I must say that this was 100% not an angle-shoot and it should have been really really clear to anyone who witnessed the hand. He's just a tourist having fun at a $1/$2 table and has no problem giving away his hand... he tanks for like 10 more seconds and says "I guess if you've got the str flush, you win" and pushes. Fat kid tanks forever and finally calls, flipping over Ks 5X and Nam Vet shows As Js to scoop. Very kindly and jokingly he says "man, I thought you had the str flush, I was worried!" Angrily serious and straight-faced the fat kid replies, "then why didn't you fold!?! That's ****ing ******ed, why didn't you fold?!?!?!" I started just busting up because this poker genius was 100% serious about getting someone to fold AsJs on a 4 spade board at a $1/$2 table at the Luxor.
this is pretty good.


i was bored at the racetrack and played some live limit poker with one of my friends. at the table to my right there was some newly graduated high school kid that just wouldnt stop talking. he thought he was some hot shot etc. he would buy in short at the limit game and when he busted he would rebuy. he probably lost 200 dollars at a 2-4 tabling buying in for 20 dollars at a time.

anyways there is no single story, but he would play every pot and if he had top pair(105 off on like a 10 64 board) he would call all bets down to the river and if somebody flopped a set or had him outkicked he would look at me and go, "all of these fish get there vs me it's ridiculous".
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Old 06-25-2008, 01:33 PM   #73
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Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

took a shot at a 5/10Euro game in a turkish cafe in germany, got teh AA, 3bet the big fish (he opened to 50, i 3b 175 OOP) tarpchecked to him on 33Tss, then donked 200 on the Js trn (had As), he snapshipped, i snap called. He tables QsJx, i table, river Qx, there's a solid minute of him celebrating and hi fiving with friends, because he busted the 'americano' (Australian ftw), then i inform him of teh multiple pairs, and he instaquits.

- not hilarious unless u were there i guess, but t was my biggest pot ever also (1870E, after 70E rake OMG)
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Old 06-25-2008, 01:35 PM   #74
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Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

Oceans 11, a lady who'd never shut up and always had to describe her thinking at every single street of every single hand hand was irritating the hell out of the table. I was to her left and dying. Finally a few of the people on the table begin to snark at her, and she decides to table change. Someone else is brought in to take her place. 3 hands later, the jackpot hits. The new person in her just-vacated seat won ~8k.

Same lady, 1 hour later- on another table and decided she didn't like it, so she put in for 4/8 limit instead. Gets her table change. About 15 minutes later the seat she had just left gets the bad beat jackpot. ~4k this time.
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Old 06-25-2008, 02:27 PM   #75
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Re: FUNNIEST THING YOU HEARD OR SAW LIVE/ONLINE

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Originally Posted by GinaSD View Post
Oceans 11, a lady who'd never shut up and always had to describe her thinking at every single street of every single hand hand was irritating the hell out of the table. I was to her left and dying. Finally a few of the people on the table begin to snark at her, and she decides to table change. Someone else is brought in to take her place. 3 hands later, the jackpot hits. The new person in her just-vacated seat won ~8k.

Same lady, 1 hour later- on another table and decided she didn't like it, so she put in for 4/8 limit instead. Gets her table change. About 15 minutes later the seat she had just left gets the bad beat jackpot. ~4k this time.
what's oceans 11?
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