Played for the first time live with Russian players. 2 russians sat down and busted whole table in about 3 hands. I've never witnessed more maniac play than that.

Sorry for double post but this was funniest thing I've ever seen at table. I've been playing live since around 2010-2011 at foxwods. Last night at commerce was funniest/craziest session I ever had. Let's begin:

The Mongolian empire:

A guy busts and this asian fellow sits down at our table. He seems quiet and playing pretty solid. After being questioned by some people at table turns out he's mongolian. He def looks like it. This guy proceeds to lose a couple buy ins, ohhh maybe he's a fish. Stupid mongolian fish. Far from it! for the next couple hours this guy completely crushes the table. He wipes out everyone at the table one by one flipping over the nuts. Best part? after he wins each pot, he reaches into his backpack and takes a long chug on his 40 of King Cobra! this guy is drunk as **** at one point slaying the table and yelling in broken english. Every single hand he has it. He wins 300 dollar pot with 10-7 then next hand takes a guys whole stack with AA, then he raises again and takes a stack with KK the very next hand. He finishes one of his 40's but he's got several in his backpack. At one point he had 400 in his stack and it's a complete mess of chips.

I eventually donk away my stack to him. He raises me a ton on a flop where I have him and hits on gin turn. He proceeds to tell me his hand but I am a fish so I call. The whole table is screaming at me "fold fold" "Call he has a draw" "I have spade I have spade".

It was insanity I hope he didn't drive home.

Not poker room related happened in a Casino and funny enough. This took place where Spanish language is common and all dialogue is in Spanish.

Three woman are playing slots next to each other. A fourth woman is standing watching behind two of the women playing slots.

The oldest woman of the four, is having all kinds of problems. She doesn't know how to put in her card. She doesn't know if she is winning or losing, etc. The woman next to her is trying to explain, but it's not getting through. There is also the recurring odor of nauseous fart in the air.

The oldest woman's machine starts to pay off and the oldest woman gets animated because she doesn't know what is happening. Almost as fast one of the other womens machines starts chirping and flashing. Then the third womans machine flashes and chirps.

Eye in the Sky notifies Slot Tech's to go look at the machines paying out. One Tech shows up, then a second, and finally a third responds. The women's machines are still paying out as the Slot Techs look on.

One of the woman is annoyed about the Slot Techs crowding around and makes a comment in Spanish to the other women about the Slot Techs hanging around.

The woman standing and watching the three play asks, "Do you want me to take care of it?" One of the woman says, "yes".

A few seconds later, the gagging smell of stomach cancer and rotting intestine is overwhelming the little floor show of flashing machines. The three Slot Techs decide they do not need to watch any longer and vacate rapidly. Play goes on with loud belly laughing by three of the women replacing the chirping of the slot machines.

One time this lady was walking around the card room giving out cheesy puffs in this big barrel, she was dressed like a gypsy or something, and I don't think she was with anyone, I am not sure. Anyways, she was asking people if they wanted any, and one guy at the Omaha said "Yea I'll take some over here bitch", and she walked over and poured the whole barrel all over him. The entire card room erupted like "whaoooo ahhh" then bursted into laughter. Cheesy puffs were everywhere around the table and on the ground. Definitely one of the more entertaining moments of poker for me.

Haha cheesy puff story is A+

Overhead outside casino, woman showing photos on her phone to some guy: this is Maria, she's really great. i met her in jail...

- OMC announced to table that he wanted to suck the fart out of a waitress' ass like a bong hit.

- $1/2 nlhe at casino. Guy in late 30s wearing nice dress clothes to my left. He is very drunk, loud and talkative. He refers to everyone as "BRO!" and "CUZ!" and constantly asks people, "YO WHERE YOU FRUM!?" so he can mention that he's from "DETRIOT!" as often as possible. There was an ongoing issue with him calling anyone who raised preflop a "bitch". Dealer explained to him that it wasn't cool to call people he didn't know "bitch", prompting BRO to give a 5 minute drunken speech about how he likes to bust peoples' balls, and that calling someone a bitch is actually the ultimate in respect.

Then a quiet lady in her early 50s sits down at our table and takes her sunglasses off. My boy from Detroit informs her, "HEH. I HATE TO TELL YA BUT TAKING THEM SUNGLASSES OFF DON'T MAKE YOU LOOK ANY YOUNGER!!!" She's a bit taken back and asks, "Huh?" He repeats it at twice the volume. To make things worse, the dealer is snickering and most of the people at the table are smiling / trying not to giggle. Older lady looks very self-conscious. Without skipping a beat, cuz goes on to say, "YO, YOU KNOW WHAT THEY SAY ABOUT GIRLS WITH HOOP EARRINGS, RIGHT!!!!?" I look at her ears to see if she's wearing hoop earrings. Yep. "What's that?", she asked, almost challenging him for the answer. "THAT THEY'RE WHORES!!!!!"

This guy also blew a kiss at my girlfriend.

Playing 1/2 at Winstar Casino. These 2 identical twin brothers are sitting next to eachother, one with a castle of chips. They're making jokes and berating eachother hilariously all night. The brother with the big stack has a rubber frog for a card protector which is perched on his chip castle like a throne. The dealer makes an amusing needling comment about the frog and his chip kingdom and the player puts his ears to the frog's lips and says "Whats that? He says you can SUCK HIS FROGGY NUTS!" Dealer jokingly calls floor siting the reason as dealer abuse of the strangest kind.

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Tonight I walked out the charitable and ran into some guy from the tables. I somehow pointed out this one guy leaving in his mercedes and he was all drunk driving badly.
Dude im talking to is like "that isnt him, he doesnt drive because of his dui's" Im like, that looks like him in his mercedes... So dude im talking to runs to his car, does a burnout in reverse, burnout forward and speeds into the distance towards the first guy.
Im guessing a loan gone bad???

Whoa. This is weird as hell.

The guy I dated the longest dated 2 girls before me that met each other in jail. He dated one, she went to jail with the other, they both got out, he then dated the second girl knowing she'd been in jail with the first.

And ****ing seriously today is his birthday.

Playing $2-5 at Twin River.

Five people in the hand on the turn when I turn the nut straight but there is a flush draw. First player bets $40. I place 3 $100 bills out front of me. Dealer takes the bills, changes them to chips and announces call, leaving $40 in front and pushing the remaining $260 back toward me.

I'm like "what? No, I bet $300." Dealer says one bill means a call. The rest of the table is murmuring but not coming to defense. I ask for the floor who ends up being right behind the dealer.

He hears the explanation and says "no, it is a raise" Phew.

Neither weird nor funny. Verbalize your bets.

In general it's not a bad strategy but placing 3 separate $100 bills in front of you to a $40 bet is a raise in every single room I've ever played in where cash plays, can't even think of a situation where it should be remotely thought of as a call.

Yeah, you don't think it's weird that the dealer, who handled the three bills, thought they were one bill? Or that he thought this was a call?

I guess it would depend upon how the bills were put down. If they were put down all 3 at the same time, yeah, mildly weird. If the player put down one....two....three then it could be a string raise in his mind.

But by no means is it some super weird occurrence in my mind.

I'd imagine there are areas where not dating somebody because they've been in jail with an ex would severely limit the dating pool.

Interesting O8 situation probably the dumbest thing iv ever seen involving a government hating conspiracy nut ranting about Obama and gun laws and blah blah blah trying to intimidate the table with stories of "valor". He even yelled at some drunken elderly couple (they were being incredibly annoying though) over the pace of the action.

To paint the picture villain is the ex military nut that knows everything about everything he told us some off the wall story about how he almost shot some guy in the back of the head for trying to assault a woman while in Afghanistan. Eye roll.

Basically he's the guy that is very opinionated about gun laws, but no matter your stance we can all agree he's the last person that should have any type of weapon based on his mental health solely.

So to the hand there's heavy betting pre and post between nutjob and the elderly couple , flop is 469 turn is a 9 the nut job looks a dealer and says if you put my card out I will split this pot with you river is a off suit T board is 469 9T nut job tables TT72 pot is $200 and as he said he split it with the dealer. As the dealer scarpes a rack in his tip box nut job is going on and on about how he keeps his word then leaves 5 min later.

I only found this event interesting because some guy at the table says that nut job was the getting froggy guy. He tells a story about him getting 86ed at belagio for throwing a card at a dealer and then ask the dealer if he's trying to get froggy.

Im at work and cant embed, but youtube guy gets froggy at Bellagio it captures every bit of his personality and please correct me if you feel I embellished it at all. For the Vegas locals im sure you already know this guy.

LOL ^ yeah you already know, thanks for the embedding.

Playing poker tonight, We get to the final two tables. I have Chip lead and did not realize i had the chip lead. Guy limps in and i look down at two red 8s.
Flop comes K86. Player checks and i decided to check as by doing so, It makes my hand look like QQ or less. Turn comes a 7.
Guy leads out i raise he insta jams i call. He flips over K7o. I flip over my flopped Set and he starts to get angry. I have him covered and out the door he goes. He gets up and gets mad. " Of course i have to lose to Dickless!"
lol. I started to Laugh and ask the table why i have to be called Dickless? Table starts laughing as he walks off.

Maybe fold K7o preflop next time? lol kind of funny i guess.

^ Needs clarification as to whether or not you have a dick.

Wearing your id tags outside your shirt is the most basic and boot thing you can do. Anyone who has served more than a day knows better than this. I would of laughed at this fool as soon as I sat down.

Always shocking to see a player throw cards at the dealer.

Stolen valor alert.

Playing 1-2-5 PLO at the venetian its a must move game the main game is full so I sit down at the other table that's 6 handed. Loud country sounding guy has his chips racked up declaring he is about leave after this hand I bought in short $200 since its my 2nd or 3rd live plo session.

So I get it in on the flop guy ask once or twice, 99% of the time I only run it once so I say one time, I double through him.

Guy was all ok I see how it is we're only running it once now(guess the table flow was to run it twice before I got there). Keep in mind its the first hand I played. Guy dumps out the remaining $300 and monkey tilts off everything he had. He went from a $500 win to tell his wife about to leaving pissed and empty handed within 20minutes.

So the weirdest thing you've had happen in a cardroom is to see someone lose their stack after they say they're leaving?

Even at 1/2 PLO, people burn through $500 in a hand very easily.

A few years ago at a 1/2 home game in Massachusetts.

A guy that occasionally played in the game was legendary. We'll call him 'Tim'. Cliffs on Tim (I'm pretty sure at least one person reading this will know who I'm referring to):

He's been a dealer for at least 10 years, at one time living and dealing in Las Vegas.
He's the worst dealer of all time.
He's an even worse poker player than he is a dealer.
He was once a member of a band that produced a one hit wonder song.
As such he claims to be independently wealthy.
No one has ever been able to confirm this, although I will say that he had a nice bike and always had nice clothes. Every single time that I've ever seen him play, he loses at least 1k. This is over dozens (maybe even hundreds) of sessions. Normally he brings 2 buyins and borrows the rest of the money from the dealer. According to the guy that lends him money, he has always repaid on time, without exception.
I've stacked this guy over and over again in my life.
He's a super hot head, but other than having a short fuse he's a very nice, sweet guy.
He's in his late 70s but could easily pass for 50.

A few hands in, there are 3 guys in the hand including Tim and I. I'm on the button w/ KT, Tim is in one of the blinds. Flop comes KTx 2 spades. Tim bets 10, other reg calls, I raise to 50, Tim calls, other guys folds. Turn is a blank. Tim checks, I shove for 250. Tim calls. We both turn over our cards. Tim has nfd. He starts going crazy..."I can't believe you are going to get me again. I thought you had a worse fd or JQ, I'm so unlucky, yada yada." Fearing that he would hit his flush, I asked "what do you want to do, Tim?" His response: "whatever you want." I said, "Ok, let's run it 4x." Tim: "Whatever you want."

The very first card the dealer turns over makes Tim's flush. Tim starts going crazy "yes I finally got you, I finally did it, blah blah blah". While he's not even looking, the next 3 cards are all blanks. Dealer starts shipping 3/4 of the pot to me and the other 1/4 to Tim. With a confused look on his face, Tim starts going crazy. Many f bombs, much anger....and it soon became apparent that Tim didn't know what "run it 4x meant" despite dealing for years and years and despite playing in home games for years where running it twice/3x/4x was commonplace!

Once Tim realized that he wasn't going to get the pot, he picked up his chips and screamed at the very top of his lungs "FU (dealer)!!! and took his chips and threw them at the dealer (a friend of his) as hard as he could- overhand, and narrowly missed dealer's head. As he's walking out dealer was able to get in a word edgewise: "you are getting chips back (75 bucks or so), don't go anywhere". Tim's response: "give them to him (and pointed to me)".

As funny as this was (and it was absolutely hysterical at the time) the mood in the room quickly turned from humor to tension when my arch enemy insisted that someone put Tim's $75 aside to give it to him the next time he showed up. Arch enemy was not in the hand and essentially had an axe to grind against me because I had been owning him the past several sessions. My position, of course, was that since Tim had left and explicitly told dealer to give the chips to me, they belonged to me. Unfortunately I lost that argument- and the worst part was the reason I lost it was the other players present knew that if they just gave in to arch enemy they wouldn't have to listen to him complain the whole night. And of course they knew I wouldn't make the evening uncomfortable for them if I didn't get my way. Consequently an argument ensued between arch enemy and I which almost led to a fight.