Anyone ever see the old movie "Lost in America"? Reminds me of the scene when Albert Brooks is trying to convince the casino manager to give back the 'nest egg' that his wife lost.


https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0089504/

Got a story that would fit, I think..

Was playing and the lady next to me was someone I had played with before, but that night she was with her boyfriend/, husband, I don't know which..

Anyways she's really cute,and had been drinking a little, she sits next to me but the guy she was with is seated on the other side of the table
I get dealt some garbage hand, and we play..
I know he's got a premium hand, but it's 3/6 limit, and he has something good, cause he is betting the hell out of the pot,but as anyone knows, in 3/6 limit, you stay in with garbage.

So we go to the flop, she grabs my leg, go to the turn, she started rubbing my leg, or **** if you want to be honest, and we get to the river and I crack his aces.
She's estatic and quickly mentioned in my ear she's going to **** me the next time I see her, she often came to play when he wasn't there,ofc I'm waiting till the next time she shows up.

And of course I never see her again.


Frieda, ( her real name) you suck.

now that is a bad beat

It's never too late

DHOTYA

this happened last night.. immediately thought of this thread.

Guy to my left, as bad as they get.. would talk about why player(s) did this that or the other after every hand. Needless to say his thoughts never seemed logical.

He was short stacked (shocker) and would often play a hand without looking and more times than not ended up all in, and at that point he'd take a look at his cards.

So the guy gets felted a few times. On the next hand EP opens, with a caller, gets to this guy and as he's call the preflop open says "ok I'm gonna look at my hand from no on".. AFTER he called the preflop action.

So I guess "from no on" just meant post flop.

At a 1/2 game last night these two things happen. I'm not involved in either hand.

Hand with a flop of AJJ and blank turn/river. Player A bets 1/2 pot on the river. Player B calls. Player A shows AA. Player B slow rolls JJ. They had about $300 behind each after the final bet.


Much later in the night guy with a head that looks like a lumpy potato is drunk and just rando grabbing chips tossing them in every hand.
He raises $20, one caller, next player shoves, lumpy potato snap calls his last $120 everybody else folds. Lumpy potato really wants to run it twice and it is agreed. Lumpy potato shows 35cc, other player has AK. Board one Lumpy Potato smashes a flush. Board two the flop comes 555. Lumpy Potato says, I really needed this, I've lost $3000 today. You don't say.

This last April I was playing at Aria and watched a man at an adjacent table, when his poor all-in bluff got picked off, immediately "faint" and go into a diabetic seizure. In this process he conveniently knocked over all his/neighboring players chips and fell on the floor, effectively stopping any further action from happening. Basically played dead until paramedics showed up and loaded him onto a gurney at which point he starts talking, refusing to go the hospital. The man bad-beat himself twice at showdown.

I love 1/2. Hand gets to river in a smallish pot where a guy just bet same amount ($10) every street on a paired and coordinated board. I had top pair so just kept calling waiting for somebody to blow him off whatever he was holding. After the turn it's heads up, he bets $10 again, I make it $50. He shows 63o for the 2nd nut low before acting on my raise. Dealer asks is that a fold, I say "looks like it". Guy says no, and puts out calling chips.

I somehow inadvertently angled this guy into thinking I was bluffing and that his 2nd nut low was good.

I have another one for the thread. Live 2/5 game. Player A is in seat 7 (9 handed). Player B is in seat 8.

While player A is tanking on a big river bet, player B is leaned back half turned around talking to a friend. A couple minutes later, while player A is still tanking, player B turned back around and sees cards in front of him (they were half way between both seats) and thinks everyone is waiting on him as he quickly tosses them in. The dealer tossed them right back to player A and everyone laughed.

Haha, that was a nice ending to a scenario that I did not see coming.

I always knew I needed to protect my cards from the dealer mucking them. But a neighbor mucking them is a new one

Posts in a different thread reminded me of this story.

I was a player. One of the best dealers I have ever known was dealing. He was very fast, very efficient, yet still able to carry on conversations with players without missing a beat. Literally the best anyone could ask for.

So there is a hand that makes it to the river. Player A bets, player B thinks for a while. Finally player B folds. The dealer slides B's cards into the muck. He quickly flips the board face down out of the way so he can push the pot (but not yet in the muck). As he is pushing the pot to player A, player A looks one last time at his cards but doesn't really protect them so others near him can see them and then throws them forward.

In one motion, the dealer grabs player A's cards and slides them into the face down board and then slides them into the muck then takes the stub and crashes it into the muck so everything is mixed. As he is doing that, player B complains that player A showed the players next to him his cards so they should be shown to everyone.

The dealer pauses a second, looks at player B, looks at the now combined deck of 52 cards, looks at player B again, then flips over the whole deck and tosses in a quarter of the way towards him and says "I don't know what was what. Maybe you can figure it out." As the faceup deck splays towards player B.

Everyone sits quiet for a second then a few players who were paying attention start to giggle. Dealer scoops up the cards are starts to square them up. Player B then comes to his senses and then starts complaining that the dealer is moving too fast.

He starts in harassing the dealer to the point the dealer looks at him then calls over the floor. When the floorman gets the dealer says to him Player B has a problem with the way I am dealing. So the floorman looks at player B for an explanation. Player B opens his mouth and starts with "He is moving too fast and mucking cards too fast." Even as he is saying it, he realizes how silly it sounds so he starts with another tact about not showing cards that have been exposed to other players, but the more he talks the more he again realizes it sounds silly. The floorperson then looks at all of the other players at the table to see if anyone will support player B, but all are silently shaking their head or effectively rolling their eyes.

Floorperson looks completely confused (as he should) as he has a player complaining about a dealer dealing too fast. One of his best dealers to boot so he doesn'tknow what to do. So he sits there with a stunned look on his face for a few seconds then smiles and looks at the dealer and jokingly says "Deal better." The dealer laughs, says "yes sir", and continues dealer as the floorman walks away.

After we re-opened we had a regular player who would carry around a gallon jug of apple cider vinegar. He felt it was a better disinfectant than alcohol and every 15 minutes or so he'd pour a bunch onto his hands and lather up. I guess some people like the smell but I couldn't take it. I had to put on a face mask before going to his table to reduce the overpowering odor.

He's now switched to regular white vinegar which doesn't smell as much but instead of using it on his hands he's drinking it straight from the bottle. I'm not talking those fancy bottled drinks that contain some vinegar along with other things - he's chugging straight vinegar like it's water.

I read this like three times but I still have to clarify: he's drinking straight vinegar? Orally? Down the hatch?

Yes. Drinking straight vinegar. I can smell it quite clearly when he opens the glass bottle he carries with him at all times.

Apple cider vinegar adds a really nice tang to things like tuna salad and coleslaw. So, I can see someone developing a taste for it.

While in the army, training for field maneuvers, they gave us lemons as a refreshment. They were great ... while hot sweaty and fatigued. So, it's not that hard to imagine someone developing a taste for (ugg) apple cider vinegar.

I never saw him drinking the apple cider vinegar - he's drinking the plain white vinegar.

There was a guy at my local room (probably dead now) that would do lines of salt prior to making a big bet or calling..

I witnessed the equivalent of Austin Powers playing blackjack. The usual happening when somebody exposes their cards prematurely is the other player bets and he has to guess if its a bluff or not.

In this case guy exposed his cards after the turn and jammed the river first to act. If the pro's ever watched or played in actual low stakes poker no way they would think that lady was cheating. There is plenty of pure 100% dumbness out there.

I saw TWO guys just call with nut quads in today’s 4-hour $1-$2 session. One was the classic “no point in raising, I knew he had nothing to call me with” line (with 77 on an A7742 board). The other, 5-way limped pot, everyone checks flop, checks turn, checks River. Button, after checking the KJ339 River, proudly tables 33.

Was impossible not to think of that J4 lady lol. Poker newbies really can do INSANE ****, we see it all the time, there’s a thousand-post thread about them!

best bluff ever?

Friday night, 1-2, 3 V's in hand. V1 bets on the river. V2 goes AI and insta flips his cards face up for unknown reasons, showing 89 with a board that included TJQ. I'm looking at V2's cards and wondering what the heck he is doing. V2 had a 3X stack relative to V1 so it could not have been a case that V2 thought an AI was needed to call V1's bet.

The dealer informs V2 that action is pending on V3. V2 realizes his error and sheepishly turns his cards face down. Everyone but V1 laughs as V3 says something to the effect, "Well I guess I'm not calling that."

Action is to V1 who is obviously dazed and confused, wondering why everyone is laughing. Then V1 calls off the remainder of his stack, something less than $100, with 2P. Everyone laughs, groans, or comments. V1 is very embarrassed and leaves.
I was impressed that in all the side commentary being made while the hand was still active that no one actually revealed V2s holding.

Not a great story, probably one you've all seen before.
Don't go south and don't play out of the rack.
Last night, 1/2, V doubles up to $578 when he has AA vs KK. A hand or two later I consider playing a hand against him and he's only got $78 on the table. "Dealer, what's going on, where are his chips, did he color up?"
He's racked $500 reds and hiding them in his lap, explaining he doesn't want them in play. Dealer explains he can color up but keep the rack on the table. 3 hands later he goes home busted. I didn't get any of it.

Drunk guy tries to sit at 1/2 ($300 max) with $600 in red. Dealer tells him the deal. I have 3 blacks and a bunch of red so I offer to exhange chips saying "So you only have 3 chips instead of 60 in your pocket"

Dude gets belligerent about it telling me he can handle all the chips in his pockets. Ok, my bad bro.

Of course he is PFR about 97% and loses his buyin after 2 orbits. Stands up and starts pulling chips and everything else out of his pockets like Captain Caveman. Glasses, cards, chips, cash, pens, everything and just tossing them on the felt. He then loses his balance and down goes Frazier chips, glasses, cash all over the place.