This could easily start a new thread - we've already got the absurd poker thinking thread, we could easily get a "******edly bad poker moves" thread...I'm sure everyone's got a story that centers around some horri-donk thinking speech + shove river = will get paid off (usually with some sort of facial expression of annoyance when no one falls for it).

Anyone dumb enough to fall for speech + shove on the river would fall for 1,000 other tricks, but the line is definitely a funny one.

Haha that is the first time I noticed him.... Mr. Sleepy Head

That's fine - but I'm talking about people who are very obviously NOT looking for tells.....just waiting for it to get to them, to try to prevent people from stealing their $2

I see this as a bit of a tell - players unwilling to put out their highest denomination chips are often like this because they don't expect to get them back, i.e. their hand is weak / mediocre. Like all tells, not 100%, but often a good indicator. So, if someone is doing this at your table, be happy.

the bastard on the button at the 1-2 table that will watch almost the entire table SLOWLY limp all the way around, then min raise it, and having to watch everyone in the hand SLOWLY call the pointless raise, then watching it get checked all the way to the river - I hate those hands! Crappy pot and it ends up taking 20 minutes to play. This puts me on super tilt to watch and I usually have to get up and take a break while it happens.

lol--for whatever reason this happens all the time where I play, though just as frequently when someone is in the small blind, which is beyond stupid

Along the same lines as above when button raises to 5 at 1/2 to be 'dealer friendly'

Someone new sits at the table, UTG straddles

They chose to post, ok whatever you want to see good luck

Action is on them, "I check"



Also those bad beats stories that people still try to suprise you with, example

"Speaking of bad beats, the other day I was playing and I had pocket queens, someone raised so I reraised and they called. The flop was QT5 rainbow, they check/called my bet, and the turn was a 2, I bet again and they called. The river was a T, I went allin and they called and GUESS WHAT THEY HAD?!?!

"ohhh dont tell me?!"

"POCKET TENS!!!"

""

It is seriously as if they were expecting a normal poker hand

Some places cap the number of raises per round so making small ones can keep you from getting blasted out.

Also dealer's do this to cover their own butts. Get the money in the middle before any cards are dealt. That way there is no controversy.

You don't want the player suddenly deciding not to payoff the bet and walking out of the casino. It has happened before. Read around these forums.

this is funny, i got screwed by same kind of action, i posted my binds as i missed them and i checked my option, all limpers, button made it 6 on 1/2 table and every one call, action back to me, i saw kk, first time i didnt see my cards , checking some thing on my phone as i sat down, i had about 150 behind me i push allin, every body up set with me, why the hell u do that n of course u get one caller with AA n no help from deck, on top of that that AA guy celebrating with high fives with some of his buddies on the table as if he just won something similar to worldseries.

Good part is i busted him , i got lucky 2 big hands, full house over full house n straight flush over nut flush

When people try to muck their cards by flicking just one finger. You've seen this.

Cards are face down in front of their hand, but they don't want to move their hand, so they just flick their index finger in an attempt to push the cards into the muck. One of two things happens.

1) Cards don't go far enough (as in, like an inch or two) and they have to lift their hand anyway to muck their cards properly.

2) They go too far (into the chip rack, the dealer's lap, etc) and often get exposed in the process.

Just toss your cards forward. Slide them. Push them. But make sure they go remotely near the muck.

1. Players calling trips 1 in hand 2 on the board a set and vice versa.

2. Players asking to see mucked hands

3. People who can't keep track of when they are a blind "even when they were just big and now small" or not knowing the action is on them when the dealer is looking at them and or pointing.

What tilts me is the guy at the table who has to make an issue of somebody using a technically incorrect term when its obvious what the person meant even if they misstated the term

What's even better is that the person in the button/SB/BB who min-raises 6 limpers often has a hand that he knows "should" raise, but also a hand that's terrible to play multi-way OOP (AQ/KQ and the like) - since he's got no clue what he's doing, he'll raise to 6 with AJo in the BB with 6 limpers, all will call, and now what, you're first to act in a 6-way pot with a terrible multi-way hand. Good job there.

Aw c'mon. Creative folding is one of my favorite things when playing.

I disagree with the vice versa.

People who call all-ins pre flop after thinking for more than a half of a second and turn over AA and say they have a bad feeling.

Not in the case I am talking about. Usually it is an old nit - or limit player coming over to NL - 1/2 player, thinking that they will get some folds because nobody raised.

people who sit down with sunglasses and the minimum buyin, won't talk or move during a hand, and yet every hand preflop they hold either their cards or their chips over the line waiting for their turn.

people who won't tell me how much money they have behind, or move their arms so i can see for myself. in this category, i want to strangle people who answer the query with "don't worry, you have me covered"