Here's one from Venetian tournament yesterday:

On a board of A6633, a guy with AJ was trying to convince the dealer that it's a chopped pot against AQ as they both have "two pairs, sixes and threes, with an Ace kicker". He refused to accept it and called the floor!

Most of the rest of us at the table had our heads in our hands.

1/1 last night.
UTG fish raises to 4, I make it 12 in MP with AQhh. CO Nit reraises all in for 52. BB ghetto dude tanks and folds Saying "flush drawl" and turns up J8ss. Yes it is preflop and yes he exposed cards b4 action was over.

Few hands into a £50 tournament.

Woman opens the button 4x, BB calls.

Flop is A ,K ,2

BigBlind bets out half pot (4BB)... Woman shoves for about 80BB (into 12BB), guy folds shows A,Q - she shows A,K...

Table reacts: "wow that was a bit of an overshove, you could've got more off him"

And she says... wait for it.... "Well he could've had pocket Kings or Aces, so didn't want to take any chances"

That's a great reason to shove, you genius.

It's time like this when I would love to say "Oh, you're playing 6s and 3s with an ace? Well he has Aces and 6s with a queen. He wins". A ship the whole pot to AQ

Damn. Wish I'd thought of that at the time. Genius.

1/2, 9 handed

BB doesn't realize he is big blind. Dealer tells him but he doesn't hear. He open folds.
But the dealer doesn't grab his cards and tells him he is big blind because there is no action yet in the hand. BB takes his cards back and posts his $2.

2 Limpers
CO makes it $8

BB thinks and says, "Well since I'm the blinds." And calls the additional $6.......

Yeah open fold for $2 but calls $6 from bb with action behind.

Please tell me she made it to the final table

She chopped it 6 ways (which is ridiculous) and regularly makes the final table (only 45 runners but still) that is how soft live poker is.

I'm playing 3/6 on the BB with Q4 no one bets. flop I get two pair and I think it was all spades. I bet get raised by another player and we cap. Turn is a Q so I make the boat. bet and cap again. River is another spade. We go heads up and all-in. He turns over a A spade for a four flush and when he lost to my boat he asked me why I played such lousy cards. LOL gotta love it when they suck out too second best.

I have no incentive to make this up, I wish I had some better poker stories but this was the most memorable to me. It took me maybe 30 seconds to rig the deck. Really not that difficult. I also sold it really well, swearing I didn't mess with the deck. Using the second deck to deal the first hand after they resumed after the break was key, if we were only playing one deck it would harder to sell.

I totally understand how this is a hard to believe poker tale, but again, no reason for me to make it up. Shows slightly bad character on my part to rig a game that been going for almost 5 hours due to my selfish reasons. And again, this was years ago and we are all relative poker novices.

Home game, about 9 years ago, playing as teens. 5 dollar buy in, playing .05/.10 blinds. Play level is obviously really bad, including my own, age range from sophmore in HS to freshmen in college.

Effective stacks $11. I have KK in EP, raise to .40, host is also my friend, raises to $1.20, I opt to call for some reason. Flop comes T95 . I bet $1.50, host raises to $3.50, I shove. Insta-called by host, showing AA.

I'm think oh ok, cooler Host is ecstatic. Turn blank. River, king. I can't believe my unbelievable luck, I'm all shakey and sHlT, and scoop the 220bb pot. The host swiftly smacks me on the back of my head, and glares the **** out of me.

I say something along the line of, "That was your dream situation, it's not my fault the king hit." He says, "I know, but still, I feel like I should be able to smack you for that suckout."

1/2 nl casino in vegas.

New to the table but one reg I have played with before is at the table. He is semi decent but capable of moves. Other opponent in the hand is a random lady.

Couple limps I complete in sb with Qh6h
BB checks.

Board comes 8c 6s 2h

I bet 6
Reg calls
Lady calls

Turn 3s

Checks around

River is Ad

I check
Reg bets 40 (read him as weak was planning to call)
Then out of nowhere Lady calls
I fold

Reg shakes his head says you win and tables 109 for 10 high

Lady turns hand over and tables 97 for 9 high reg wins with 10 high

I including table look confused (reg is shocked raking in the pot) and her response is "sorry I had to call, I just had to call couldnt fold I had to see it"

lol lmao

Awesome one from my dealing shift last night. Sit down and there is a couple in the 8 and 9 seats who are obviously drunk. Seat 8 is the husband who has about 40-45 to start the hand.

Flop comes something like A63.
Every body checks, Drunktard bets 10, gets one caller.

Turn 7
check, Drunktard bets 15, call

River 8 (here's where it gets gooooood)
Drunktard exposes his hand JTo.

I tell him there is still action and it's on his opponent.

His opponent leads out for 20 (Drunktard only has 15 or so left at this point.)

Drunktard says, "Well, I guess that puts me allin" and shoves in his last $18 with his hand still exposed.

I'm dumbfounded and just announce "Call" and announce "Jack high" for the drunktards hand. Opponent flips AK, and ships the monies.

Commonly heard at 2/4 limit tables:

"It's 2/4!!" used by people who chase runner runners or inside straights. As if your odds of catching that 2 outer are better at 2/4 than at 20/40 or 200/400. Odds are odds, no matter what the level.

"It's all luck anyway." You just keep calling and whoever has the best hand at the end wins, right? Please stay at my table. Please?

We were playing stud. Get to 7th street and one of the players turns over a full house . His happiness turns to embarrassment when people point out he has 11 cards. He had accidentally picked up the mucked cards from the player next to him on 4th street.

A fishy reg at the local tournaments always complains about losing constantly with AK.

She only limps or calls raises with AK and unless the flop is A or K high will always check/fold and sometimes she will be beaten even when the flop comes A or K high.

Many people have tried to explain to her that she gets beaten with AK because she lets 5 other people see a cheap flop and out draw her. Her response to this is

"Well if I raised he still would have outdrawn me. Raising doesn't change what cards will come out. I would have just lost more. I only ever put the minimum in to see a flop with AK, because I'm so unlucky with it."

I'm sure many variations of this in here but just tonight, $45 donkument. Board of 10 A 10 7, seat 2 moves all in. Seat 10 calls and tables A3 seat 2 shows 10 Q. River ace. Seat 1 then starts talking to seat 10 about how lucky it was to hit a one outer. I said didn't be have 2 outs? He said, no he could only catch an ace, that's a 1 outer cuz he couldn't only get 1 card. Me oh yeah you're right.

Last weekend 1/2 planet Hollywood. Flop is like 8 high. Bb bets $5 and it folds around to small blind and as he is calling dealer burns and turns too quick for an ace. Sb says lets check it down and flips over aq. Bb calls for the floor. They preserve the river and then shuffle the a back in. Sb is saying but I already exposed my hand floor says too bad. Turn is a brick and Sb bets 10. Bb raises to 50 and Sb calls. River another brick, Sb checks bb bets 50 and small blind calls. Bb shows 55. Sb says I thought there is no way you'd bet unless you were behind.

I'm currently at university out of town so I don't get to play much live (no access to a car so casino trips are pretty annoying). I've got a buddy back home who I frequent the local casino with a few times a week when I'm home for the summer. He's sort of ******ed and I don't like talking strategy with him because a) he gets defensive very easily and can't admit when he's wrong, and b) when he talks, I think I get dumber by listening. He's a great guy other than that, though, and it's nice to drive down with a buddy rather than making the trip solo all the time. A couple weeks ago we went to Vegas for the week (mostly to party, but I decided to get a few sessions in anyway). He dropped a few gems over the course of the trip (I can't remember them all, so I'll just leave one):

1. During a pre-drink in our hotel room, he recounted a hand one of our friends played in which he called off 35bb in the BB with 7-5os against a guy who was tilting off a short-stack in the CO (edit: it was a cash game). The CO flipped over AQ and was obviously ecstatic when our buddy showed garbage. He rationalized the call, saying he knew the guy held two high cards and he was happy to flip. When my friend told me this I spat out my drink and started laughing. To my surprise, my friend responded with: "what? It's a flip." I tried to explain that although the guy held live cards, he certainly wasn't flipping. My friend's response? "OK let's give you AQ and me 75os, deal the F-T-R three times and see who wins..." He was 100% serious.

Awesome. See this all the time.

Yesterday dealer complaining how he went and played in two tourneys at Venetian, and when they got to the bubble both times one guy wouldn't agree to chop. Table I'm at erupts, "there's always got to be one", "hate that", etc. Dealer then says that he bubbles both tourneys and that's not fair, the guys who didn't want to chop is supposed to bubble. The whole table agrees firmly as I lol.

1/2NL i'm big stack - $7 UTG raise, two callers, i re-raise to $25 with KK and only UTG calls. J97 flop i bet $35, he re-raised to $90, i call. Turn comes 5 that apparently gave him a flush draw....i shove $270 to put him All-In.

He fiddles with chips for a minute in between sighs then finally calls saying, "I've got 9 outs so i've gotta call." He busts.

Yeah, you "gotta call" your entire stack when you're like a 4-1 dog.

Live $1/$2 game. I have been VERY active playing hyper laggro 40% vpip poker. I have about $800. Call, call, call. I have K9ss on btn. I raise to $12. Sb folds, bb tilt junkie fish with $69 calls. All 3 limpers call. Flop is 894 rainbow. Checks to me. I bet $50 into $61. Bb c/r all in for his last $57. I obviously call the extra $7, getting 23 to 1. Brick brick. He tables J3o for J hi, no pair no draw. I couldnt help myself, so I politely ask why he did it. His response: I thought you were bluffing. I mean you f-ing raise every pot. Needless to say, that was a very profitable session.

That is funny my friend! lol. You will love this one....3/6 game NL, I have $720 in Seat 1, seat 3 has $104, Seat 10 has $638. With KK, I preflop raise to $30. Seat 3 goes all in, and Seat 10 thinks for about 8-10 secs and flats $104, so I do the same. Putting 3 on AK AQ. Flop is A x x. Seat 10 checks and I bet $300! In one view it's the pot, in another, it's committing. Seat 10 tanks for 90 secs and just calls! The turn is a brick, he checks again. I bet the rest. He has to call off his remaining $260 or so, tanks for 2 minutes and calls. He flips 66 vs my KK. The river is a 6. Forget the bad beat...it's the action afterwards that I loved so much I put in an article on another site a few years ago. He jumps out of his seat and yells for the whole room to hear, "WHAT A GREAT CALL!!!" LOL Thanks for your story.

Uhhhh. first of all, chopping is not generally a profitable option long term for standard tournament play. I chopped so many times and due to non cash runs, chops cut your take way too much. Now chopping top 2, top 3 now and then, okay, but chopping down to a bubble spot? Come on. We generally pay, whoever ends up bubbling, their buy in, split among remaining players. Example, $120 buy in, 7 players left, 6 paid, all players agree to pop $20 a head to the bubble. This is generally accepted and does not smack any player's cut. I tend to go with unanimous votes for chops, after this, but if any one player wants to continue, I back him or her up, all the way. Top money is where you make tourneys worth your time. My cash rate was 35% for years, and I finally got it to over 40 in the past year...gotta maintain. Try our method of pay for a bubble next time, and just play your best to move up the ladder. Mainly, STOP whining about bubbling.