Not seen any admissions of self idiocy so..
1st time I ever played poker, get red AA, tremble like there's an earthquake, limp on the button into a 5 or 6 way pot. 4 clubs on the river, non paired board. Someone ships, I snap with no-one to act. He says "nooooo u got the flush??" I smugly laugh and say, "better". Flip my aces (which win LOL), and wonder why everyone laughs/berates me.

Lady smooth calls the river with the nuts on the button.

Says she was afraid of getting check raised.

"I thought you had pocket kings."

These last couple of post reminded me of a dumbass play I made several years ago. I don't remember all the details but I had quad jacks, holding JJ,on a board of AJAJx. I have position and the only other player in the hand bets out on the river. I just call, I was worried about the Bad beat jackpot. I didn't want him to fold in case we had the bad beat. He had one A, we both had decent stacks and I could have had all of his.

I really can't explain what I was thinking.

It's funny when awful players talk about their strategy and give away a ton info about their play. I generally don't talk about poker at the table. I keep my table conversation sports related

19 yo pimply faced scrub sits down at 1-2 table where everyone has no less than $500 with $40 talking about how is he a pro and is being sponsored by Bernard Tapie to play tournaments. Says he played college baseball but wouldnt say for what team but because of an injury he decided to go pro poker. Rants and raves about the ISPT, thinking that it was taking place in the states. Everyone starts talking trash and spite calling/raising him but he crushes and runs it up to $300 in an hour. His three scrubby 18 yo buds come to check on him and are all stunned at how much money he won and start trying to pry him of the table. He tells us he has to leave because his limousine is waiting for him so he can make his late night flight to Vegas.

Stud 8 game, player A has an all high card board, player B clearly has a made low, player A checks blind after leading out on every street, player B check behind blind. Player A shows trip aces, player B says "I have a low and a flush draw" then turns over her last card and says "Oh I made my flush".

Then she says "I didn't even bother to look since I never hit anyway"

Haha wow

At a 1/2 game. 1 limper I'm in hj and raise to $10 with AQ. both blinds and limper calls. 222 flop. checked to me I bet $15. Both blinds fold and the limper calls. Turn 2. He checks I bet $35. He calls. River is like a 9. He checks. I bet $80. He shows jt and says "You got it. I was just calling to try to hit an ace for a chop. Might've even called if a king hit"

Last week at pub poker (1st level) old guy min raises in MP and gets 2 callers in the blinds, flop J 7 4, checked to him he makes a 1/2 pot bet and gets 2 calls.

turn: 5

he over shoves for about 3x the pot and they both fold.

I look at him kinda puzzled but not that surprised and he flips over pocket kings and said "i didnt like that spade".

me:....

"Gus Hansen revolitionised poker because he was the first player to win with bad cards"

:s

...…....................... What

I just remembered one from my old dealing days.

2/5 NL I don't remember the pre-flop action but five guys see the flop with a decent pot (so raised to 20-25 pre). Flop comes AKT of hearts. First to act thinks for a second or two (not long but not instant) and shoves for ~$400. Three out of the other four call and play out the hand. Turn is a brick, one guy bets the rest of his stack, one call and one fold. One tables 89 of hearts, the other tables QJ of another suit, flush wins.

Original raiser insta-tables QJ of hearts for the flopped royal. Without missing a beat the guy with 89 of hearts goes nuts saying "HOW CAN YOU SHOVE WITH THE NUTS? YOU'LL NEVER GET ENOUGH VALUE THERE."

Yeah...

had two italian guys at my local donkament recently
One of them had about 1/4 of all chips with 60 players remaining, second one was pretty bigstacked too. Saw them call two preflop all ins with hands like T9s and bust KK/QQ.

The best part was when they donked their 200k stacks away when the avg stack was 30k, calling 3-4 all ins with air

This thread needs more love
Yesterday local donkament with 1 reentry - hero is on the BB with QQ.
Super soft table with 5-6 limpers every hand, who will call anything up to 5bb to see the flop.
EP minraise to 2.5BB, 4 callers, hero repops to 15BB, calling station lady on CO calls. Flop QJ7rm, hero checks/lady checks. Turn 4x, hero bets 10BB, lady calls. River 2x, hero shoves his 40BB stack, and lady proclaims HAHA YOU THINK I HAVE NOTHING BUT I'VE GOT YOU NOW, and snapcalls with 88.

I met her again at the final table.

Lololololol^^^^^^^ gold!

This took place awhile ago so I'm not sure of the action exaclly but p1 bets the whole way p2 calls the whole way and turns over some ace high garbage then says I though I could get him off his hand he never raised

7 way flop at $7 a piece.

Flop comes AsAh4s.

SB leads for $40, BB calls, UTG calls, MP shoves for $240. Folds back to SB who re-shoves for $450-ish. BB (covers) calls, UTG folds.

SB - AdKh
BB - Ks5s
MP - Ac6c

Turn 8s
River Ts

K5 scoops

The whole table starts talking about how the BB "has" to call there because of pot-odds (or at least their understanding of what that means). One guy (IMO best player there) is in seat 10 and says something about how he would never call there. The dealer hears this and says "Oh my god, how can you not call?!?"

It starts a lovely debate about the call which included lines like "Poker is not about math" and "Some people are just luckier then others" when referring to how some people consistently win at this game while other consistently lose.

The guy who supplied the "poker is not about math quote" went on to say something like "I guess I did the math wrong" every time he lost a pot in an attempt to mock seat 10.

My face still hurts from all the facepalming.

On this really loose table ($1/$2), UTG opened for $10 got 4 callers. I was SB with 88($100 behind) and I shoved. It folded around to the C/O who tanked for a pretty damn long time. I was about to call the clock on him when he finally called. He rivered 2-pair with 45os. He then proceeded to tell the table that he just knew it was coming and that his friends call him "The River King" with a proud smile on his face. I LOVE donkeys

14 man live SNG with no ante format and ******ed blind structure, we agree on a 40/30/20/10 payout structure, and as soon as the bubble bursts, the players stand up and start claiming their prize.

I look around in confusion and all 3 tell me that we are ITM, which means we count our chips and decide who is taking which place.
Trying to explain to them that I'm not happy with a 3rd place when I had 80k chips (40BB) and they had 120k~ish obviously led nowhere, because "THEY CAN JUST FOLD ANY HAND NOW AND I WON'T BE ABLE TO TAKE ANY CHIPS FROM THEM, SO WE SHOULD END LDO".

Oh and the runner up actually stood up and congratulated the winner, for having 3 more big blinds than him.
#teambuildaments

I played at a 1-1 NL table recently where this older guy would open for like $20-$25 bucks if he had a premium hand.

He was content with taking down two bucks with hands like AA and KK because, according to him, "it is better to win a few bucks instead of getting sucked out in a huge pot."

This reminded of a game I was in a few weeks back. A older gentleman joins the table and buys in short. It was 1/2 NL and he buys in for $60.00 or so. For the next hour he might have played one or two hands but only when limped to him in a blind. Then, UTG he raises to $20.00, of coarse every one folds. He gets a real pissy look on his face and gathers up his chips and leaves.

I have a somewhat similar example that's more about terrible dealmaking than terrible reasoning, but they go hand in hand.

LO8 sat for a Venetian Deepstack event; 1st pays most of the pool (say $1500) and 2nd pays the rest (say $150); 5 players left. It's t800/t1600 limits and I have the big stack with t8000 (5 big bets); the other players each have around t4000.

Talk begins about a deal, and I express interest. "At this point it's just a crapshoot," they say, "so let's each take an even chop and call it a day." Obviously I decline.

Next hand I open-raise my button and end up doubling up the BB. Now he has t8000 and the rest of us have t4000. The chorus says, "I'll bet you want to make a deal now, don't you?" I smile and nod, and generally keep quiet for the rest of the negotiations.

The BB/deep stack wants to get more than the rest, now, but fortunately he was one of those arguing for an even chop. Eventually they prevail upon him to chop evenly.

So I got to freeroll! Lost the hand, ended up with the same deal. People are funny.

I saw a guy take an chip chop where he got more money than 1st place paid out