I have a bunch of these stories.

1/2 NLHE at southern california indian casino.

Villain is a trappy fish who thinks he is tricky.

Game is very passive, no surprise here. I am very active winning small to medium pots.

I'm in BB ($300ish), trappy fish is in SB($120ish).

We get 3 limps, then SB (Trappy Fish) completes, and I check with 92o.

Flop is 9 9 K. Pot is $5 after the drop.

Trappy fish checks, I bet $6, everyone folds, and trappy fish calls.

Turn is 2. Pot is $17. Trappy fish leads $15, I raise to $40. Fish calls.

River is a blank. Pot is about $97. He bets all in for like $80. Of course I call. Fish tables KK, for top full. I laugh and show my 92o. And I say, "that damn BB special"

He tells everyone how I am always playing trash, and berated me for playing 92o. I said, "hey, it was a limped pot, and I checked in the BB." He proceeded to say, that I still shouldn't be playing crappy hands like 92o, and he "knew" he had me beat. So, he trapped me. Lol...

SMH

I had forgotten about this, as it happened like 8 or 10 years ago. Had a guy do that to me once. I had 52s in the BB it's limped I check. I flop a straight flush. I really don't remember the action or even what he had. I do remember we got it all in and he didn't really have a hand he should have been putting it all in with. He goes on about how he can't believe I play that trash. I was happy to just listen to him, but someone else pointed out that I was the BB. He says something like no he wasn't, then I guess he realized I was and just walked away.

never anything more absurd than "i knew it was coming" from a guy who calls with no pair and no draw and somehow makes a winning hand, never ends, never stops, never gets old

One thing to think about when you hear some of these things at the table is that you may be being wound up. When I make a bad call and then suck out, I love to say, "I just had a feeling ..."

"but... but... but, it's suited..." nuff said....

Classic! That's what I hear the most

1/2 game and I have AA and get it all in on a JJT 2 hearts flop against a laggy opponent. He tables AT no hearts. Turn is a T, river an A.

Guy next to me keeps telling me how lucky I am to win that pot.

You did hit your three outer.

Five outer, right? Jack on the river gives him Jacks full of aces to beat jacks full of tens?

I count three, one ace and two jacks.

You're right. I had an Alheimer's moment.

The point being I was a 9-1 favorite when the money went in regardless of how the last two cards played and the guy next to me was acting like I had no business winning the hand just because v's magic card hit the turn and mine hit the river.

Regardless of how far ahead you were, you were behind on the turn and got lucky.

The other thought is that you were "lucky" the other guy didn't have a jack.

I've been in games where people assume that anyone that goes all-in HAS TO have the stone nuts.

Played the other night with this woman who was clearly awful but I noticed that after hands she would make some notes in a notebook. I assumed she was taking notes about the game in an effort to improve. It turns out the notes are to keep track of which dealers were the luckiest for her. She then told a story about how she had to go all in with some ****ty hand in a tournament because one of her unlucky dealers was dealing next. She was dead serious.

That might be the winner of the this thread. Most morons put very little effort into their stupidity. But this lady is taking the time to and attention to detail to bring her derp to a whole nother level. Bravo!

Planet Hollywood (LV) is having a tournament series "Poker on the Mezz", and although they have a high rake (25%) I decide to play since that is where I won my first tourny 12 years ago (and would be super soft).

After weeding through 108 players, we are ITM and on break. Some of the larger stacks are gathered around the tournament clock and discussing workable chops. We all agree to chop when/if we make 9 players ($760) and leave $60 from each & trophy to play out until eventual winner.

We talk to the tournament director/mgt/staff and they proceed to tell us:

TD: "once it's even chopped, the tourny is over."
me: "but it isn't even chopped, money left on table for first."
TD: "that's silly! It would cost us too much money to keep it going to play to first"
me: "You make the same money regardless... 25% per person"
TD: "it's the rules"
me: "where are they published?"
TD: "they aren't, it's just the rules..."
me: "so if we don't say anything to you and we still play it out, then we work the money out on our own... you would still have to be here, right?"
TD: "we take no responsibility"

How's that for customer satisfaction and illogical thinking by Planet Hollywood staff?

Funny story, but the winner of the thread is:

One day an older gentleman perked up after a hand and said "Dealer, you just dealt me the exact two cards I had the hand before. You know the chances of that? About 300,000 to 1."

I couldn't help but chime in when I heard that. "Actually sir, since there are only 1,326 possible two card hands, the chances are only 1,325 to 1."

He never bought into my logic and insisted he was much closer to the actual number. That was disappointing ....especially cause the guy is a prominent local banker.

Playing a $30 rebuy donkament at Christchurch Casino in NZ.

Villian, 2 other players and Hero involved in the hand.

One of the 2 other players goes all in for 7 big blinds in early position. Hero is next to act and has a pair of sevens. All in's range is VERY wide - has already busted shoving 34s. and had to rebuy. Hero calls, so does BUT. Villain Calls from BB.

Flop comes 9s10sQs.

Everybody checks.

Turn is a Js.

Villian bets out 3/4 pot.

But and Hero folds.

Villian shows SIX HIGH. On a board with a 4 card straight flush on it!?

"Thought I'd try bluffing..."

All in wins the pot with pocket 2's.

On an online $30 tourney, you'd never, ever, ever, ever, never, ever, ever see this happen.
But a $30 live tourney? Probably happens at least once per tourney.

Back to issue at hand...

I was sitting to the right of one of the best action players in a 5/10 game. He opens to 40 in EP, gets reraised to 140 by button, SB cold calls. Back to villain, 4 bets to 300 or whatever. Button 5 bets to 900. SB cold calls again. V 6 bet shoves (sitting on 8k+), button and SB both stuffs for about 4k, 3k, respectively. I ask villain, "do you have anything?" He emphatically nods and whispers to me in a most serious manner, "yeah, I have a flush draw." Everyone tables their hand, button and SB both show aces, villain proudly shows QdJd. There's like 12k in the middle at 5/10. Villain flops top two, turns diamonds, scoops with two pair.

Playing 1/3 at the wynn about 6 months ago.
Guy to my left is a mid 30's white male with yellow lensed oakleys, put on backwards, and an upside down visor.

Guy is SUPER nitty and opens to 70, his 3 bet was generally around 150 (average open was 12-15 at table). He always showed his cards which were JJ-AA when he opened or 3 bet.

My BB he opens UTG to 70 I look down at AA, I raise he snap jams I snap call. He shows KK and goes crazy on how gross it is I have AA there (I just agree that it is so gross and theres nothing he can do).
He rebuys for 500 and about 2 orbits later he raises to 70 UTG again. I look down at KK and reraise, he jams I snap and he shows JJ. He goes crazy again and is in awe that his JJ ran into another one of my big pairs.
He rebuys and about 4 hands later I look down at AA and 3 bet an EP open, he jams and I snap call he has JJ and is in disbelief of his bad luck.

He rebuys again and folds for about the next 45 minutes. One of his friends comes over to see how he is doing. He begins to tell his friend he is playing flawless poker yet he keeps running into sick coolers against me.
Few hands after his friend comes by he opens to 70, folds to BB (not me) who raises, He jams and BB snaps with AA he has QQ. He begins to tell his friend how every time he raises either everyone folds or he gets all in preflop against AA or KK.
His friend just laughs, shakes his head and says "lets go to dinner, ill tell you why"

I am surprised you say this. Most people want to be social or friendly, but have difficulty finding something to talk about. So they talk about what they are immediately engaged in or make remarks about what you are doing or what someone else is doing. In this case poker. In an effort to be friendly they give advice, i.e. strategy. Its human nature to do so. Other conversation starters are to inquire "where are you from", "what do you do (for a living)", "did you follow sporting event X", "where did you get that Y". All just to relive the boredom and break the tension of playing no-limit. In particular talking strategy makes them seem some how important and puts them in the center of the conversation. The star I suppose. It not at all amazing to me. I expect it. (Its actually why this thread exists. We are just bored and want to talk about something.)

I can't find the original post so I'm not sure of the context, but there's a difference between discussing a hand and constantly telling people what they're doing wrong, between "Hey, I would have played that differently. I would have done xyz, why did you play it that way?" and "You played that wrong. Next time you should do xyz. You'll do much better if you learn the right way to play hands like that."