... because that's how corruption works, man.

Deadspin had a good list of all the bad lines

18. “Do you miss it?” “What?” “Anything.”
17. “Sometimes your worst self is your best self.”
16. “Something happens to me on the way out, this **** hits the cloud.”
15. “Thing is, you ain’t that thing no more. What you used to was.”
14. “Well, just so you know, I support feminism. Mostly by having body-image issues.”
13. “If I don’t come up with a new play, the dead trees, the present from the stork are gonna be what they call ‘moot points.’”
12. “I never lost a tooth. I never even had a ****in’ cavity.”
11. “He looks half-anaconda, half-great white.”
10. “My powers of influence are so meager in this sublunar world of ours, I try to limit the people I can disappoint. And I make sure to know the difference between my obligations and somebody else’s.”
9. “Sometimes a good beating provokes personal growth.”
8. “I used to want to be an astronaut, but astronauts don’t even go to the moon anymore.”
7. “Pain is inexhaustible. It’s the people that get exhausted.”
6. “Maybe it’s just a little too close to sucking a robot’s dick.”
5. “You ever bully or hurt anybody again, I’ll come back and butt**** your father with your mom’s headless corpse on this goddamn lawn.”
4. “Help me out with this, and I promise to do a fearless and searching moral inventory.”
3. “Everything is ****ing.”
2.



1. “It’s like blue balls, in your heart.”

They met in Paris (?) off screen and in the first ep they pretended to not know each other in front of the other cronies.

All very worthy. I think "A full moon is the best time to ratify alliances." will be the one that really sticks with me, though.

Jesus, what a season.

Oh man that Deadspin article is awesome

Larry Bird is perfectly annoyed at a show with a crow's head. Disagree about #5 on the Deadspin lines, that's a really good one.

I'm starting to listen to that cold feeling in my neck.

thanks.

not going to lie i knew he was right the first time (I noticed it and said that they misspelled catalyst and was like...wait have I been spelling it wrong the whole time so i googled it.) i figured i would like to see where it would go....Hence me being the true detective

I can't believe the spelling of catalyst is the subject of like double digit posts ITT

Didn't think this was that bad, they were playing some kind of RPG and they all had some sort of big token thing that presumably repped their character. I assumed they were all decent friends. Neeeeerrrrrdddddsssss, but friends.

this show.

This ****ing show.

*salutes* LMAO



i didnt even remember this (3:38) OR LESS

Rotten Tomatoes TV scores are a little different from movie scores. Shows with less than 80% are usually pretty bad.

This basically sums up my feelings about this season of True Detective. On Sunday night I watched Masters of Sex, Ballers, Ray Donovan, The Strain, Naked and Afraid XL and Bachelor in Paradise. Then Monday I watched Bachelor in Paradise and Bachelor in Paradise: After Paradise before I decided to watch the season finale of True Detective.

OK there was a lot bad about this, but some smaller things that people seem to have overlooked:

1) When they go to the boy kid's house, they show Velcoro seeing the crow's head to confirm he's in on it. Then they do a shot-reverse shot BACK TO THE CROW'S HEAD. For the slower members of the audience. Then, for some reason, they pan past the guy's "evidence of being the crowhead guy" table with the shotgun on it, to LINGER ON A MAGNIFYING GLASS OF HIS LESS LETHAL SHOTGUN ROUNDS????

What? After 7 episodes of generally nonsense lists of people's last names, this one plot point gets more clarity than Stan.

P.S. It doesn't matter, and it's never explained why he shot Ray with rubber pellets rather than killing him, nor was it explained what he was doing at Caspere's house.

2) Once again, there was some ugly CGI here. The dirt road chase and the street party were both sub-Sharknado level. How is this happening? Don't they have access to whoever does GoT and Boardwalk Empire?

3) I think it's more than likely that the production team of this show does not know how to spell the word "Catalyst". Frank's vaunted double list of guns must have had a back or something, because he didn't ask for grenade launchers and had them, but also didn't get the shotguns and AKs he wanted. They meant Catalyst, El D was right imo.

Yeah, I am not sure what reason Birdhead had for staking out Caspere's house, he had the hard drive already, or he and Velcro got there at the same exact time. Either way, it's stupid. Also, if one of Caspere's guy was there and not Ray, rubber bullets was a really stupid idea. I guess that's all Birdhead could have gotten, but he could have just bought some shotgun shells.

Also, another big dumb red herring, we all thought Casperes' body was placed in that spot for some reason, the guy just did it because he thought it was funny. Go fvck yourself NP.

This season has a lot more Walking Dead plot lols than any HBO show should ever have.

The reddit theory that Burris was Birdhead there makes so much more sense. He was there looking for the hard drive, he had the rubber bullets because he's a cop, he grabbed the birdhead as a mask because it was there already.


Also... what was the deal with the birdhead, all in all? Just a random prop from some movie shoot that the dude liked to wear when he did crimes?

Fly or whoever,

Maybe you can save me from having to watch another minute of this again.

Do you remember exactly what the dialogue was with orphan boy about the shooting? I think it was something like "oh the ****ed up crow mask is Casper's, man I could have killed you!" or something like that.

I assume he was at Caspere's house to steal the hard drive. Or did they do that another way?

It wasn't a grenade launcher it was a tear gas cannon. But yea, it wasn't on the list and I chuckled a bit when I saw it. Like how hard is it to write a list of the actual props you plan on using??? Also, I didn't see a Benelli M4.

/nit

But you're right. Just another data point that these guys are complete buffoons who can't spell a word in common usage.

That is the dialogue... but he already had the mask. He was driving around with the mask in Episode 1, before he posed the body. (also, I just went back, and the photographer made a pitstop somewhere on that drive with the body, you see enough of the surrounding area to know that it's not the creepy torture cabin, it actually looks like the sex apartment)

I guess he could've just gone back there to get the hard drive(or look for other valuables, whatever), but why would he have waited so long? If it was him getting it, Caspere himself must have told the twins about the house. It took Ray and Frank a while to find the location of the secret sex apartment Caspere kept.

So that ends up just being ANOTHER coincidence? That the guy took a few days between murdering Caspere and getting the hard drive and those time frames just happened to match up?

The bird mask is only used because everyone thought the gas mask guy in season 1 was so crazy... It was just his attempt for a "wtf, this is so crazy" moment when in reality it's just terrible writing.

That pretty much sums up the season, Np wanted this season to be considered edgy and complex without doing anything remotey edgy or complex.

Unless you think blurry DP qualifies

'That was Casper's, could've killed you.' So pretty much what you said.

Erica said they went to Casper's so they could torture him with acid so he would tell them who else was involved in the robbery and killing of her parents. But psycho brother got carried away when he saw all the whore stuff or something.

and speaking of waiting so long, the meeting the kid sets up with Holloway in the finale is how long after he has the hard drive? like 6 months? is there anything preventing that from happening sooner (other than the show requiring them to wait until the TRUE DETECTIVES magically solve some stuff)?

unless i'm mistaken doesn't he get basically all the info he needs from torturing Casper? and why does he even need to set up a meet like that, he knows who Holloway is and where he works, can't he just tail and then ambush him somewhere?

(am i missing anything here? quite possible bc i just dgaf throughout most of this)

oh wait, is "getting the diamonds back" the answer to some of this? lol

edit: oh, or did he not get the necessary info out of Casper before he died? thought he did
and if not, how'd he get it then?