Quote:
Originally Posted by redarator
Have you personally met any people in real life through these sites?
***Dating in Seoul 2013***
First of all, online dating should be a supplement. If you're going to use it as your main way to meet women you need to prepare to put real work into it. That means an hour or so a day probably.
Meeting women on the street or in a coffee shop is far easier. Just... go and say hi. I think I probably have a 75/25 success rate with a good response in that method. Then half of those I get a number. Half of those won't flake on a date if you can game at all. Then build it from there depending on what you want. Every now and then you're just going to strike gold with a woman who has never considered being with a foreigner before you approached her and is just going to want to use you for sex. Clubs are clubs just like anywhere else. Game the same. You'll probably have a greater success rate in Seoul but I'm not a huge clubber so I don't have the experience there.
Meeting them through your Korean friends (male and female) is probably the most guaranteed method of success. This also takes time and investment and comes with the possible fallout of a failed connection. If you're doing well with money I would suggest getting one of your male Korean friends to take you to a booking club. Just prime gaming territory.
Skout is an extension of online dating and thus works at roughly the same rate iyam. a 10%-15% response on your messages is a good percentage. You have to assume that half of them are too intimidated to lose face by speaking English poorly and much like online poker, it's far easier to hide behind your phone than in person and thus easier to just ignore. So you're getting more like 20-30% responses of girls that will want to date a foreigner realistically. One Skout tip I use that I think works fairly well, I don't send text messages first, only voice.
I have used KoreanCupid both times I've lived here to varying success. Generally your response level is much higher, mine is somewhere close to 40 or 50 percent probably. But the pool is much smaller. Paying for a service weeds out a lot of your competition online. They, like you, think "30 bucks? wtf?" and move on. Up to you whether or not you want to make that investment.
*BROTIPS*
*A Korean woman you have met online has, more often than not, dated another foreigner before you. It probably didn't end too well. Two things will help you here. In conversation you need to emphasize how much you love Korea and how that you plan on staying a long time. Years. Whether it's true or not is up to you. But that will help your success IMMENSELY. She's likely been run out on by a boyfriend who was a teacher or a soldier who left after one year.
*Learn some basic Korean and use the polite suffix "yo" whenever appropriate no matter her age. She will think you're polite and cute and probably laugh a bit at it. It will take you two weeks of 2 hours a day study to learn enough where they will be impressed by your knowledge. Your iphone helps with spelling immensely. Autocorrect ftw.
*Playing alpha game here in the Korean language CAN BE CONSTRUED AS RUDE. Actually in English it can be as well. Korean women are often very intimidated by a guy that jokes a lot and most times don't understand your subtle digs at whatever you normally neg when you game at home. You don't need to neg to be seen as different from the other guys here. You're already different if you're not Korean. Be prepared for this and try to be polite early. For a bit. You can transition as it feels comfortable into a more playful interaction and that will find you extremely successful.
*Having said the last tip, you still need to be the man in other ways to avoid her feeling like she's doing all the work. Coming up with the date idea on your own is effective. There are lots of mountains/hills throughout the city and for some reason Korean women like to climb them. Use that to your advantage.
*Typical first date map: Eat Korean food and drink a bit of beer/soju. It gives her an excuse not to talk all the time and she's comfortable in the place. If the date is good suggest a walk or coffee. End it after that. Touch initiation should happen once the new location is selected. You'll know enough by the end of that day whether she's worth seeing again.
*If a Korean woman doesn't drink she's not worth your trouble.
*Don't try to plan dates far out. Your flake/cancel rate will be much higher that way. I don't plan a date more than 1 day in advance. Same day is much better. If I've seen a girl a few times it's okay to make plans farther out once you're comfortable with one another. But still, I try to avoid it.
*Understand that for most of these women speaking English is mentally taxing. Be sure to encourage them no matter how good/bad they are. Tell them how well they're doing. Repeatedly in different ways. This, when combined with some alcohol will kill almost the entire language barrier for any woman that will agree to date you.
*Show that you're interested in her culture (you should be or why are you here) but also inquire as to her acceptance of yours. Then talk about how the best friendships/relationships work to meet in the middle. The best women in this city will respond to this when dating you. It's like the magical topic of conversation that really opens them up. A lot of them love their culture and love you to love it... but are frustrated with parts of it as well (that's why they're out with you and not a local) and want some excitement in their life.
*On the physical side, typical escalation of touching and judgment of response is the same here as back home. Yay nature!
I've gamed my first three weeks almost exclusively online (networking and busy with work) and have been successful in meeting 6 different women with another 12 or so on deck. I've also had two made dates flake. Of those six I met all were willing to meet for a second date and I've seen one of them four times. She's making my brain think weird things like having a relationship.
Once I have the base and some more time off I'll go back to rolling the dice on street game as it's just far easier imo.
Last edited by loosekanen; 04-29-2013 at 04:08 AM.
