and of course im not visiting her at work to visit her at work. its not like im gonna be coming up to her and say "hey i know you work here and thought id visit you" lol

its right on my way to school, so it wouldnt be super obvious if i just came by, got a coffee, and asked how shes doing or whatever

what is there to lose?

Sigh, for poker players people ITT are so risk averse. Duke has nothing to lose and it's totally standard to go into a coffee shop if she's working at a shop within 15 minutes of where they went to school.

Just like when I sent a "hail mary" text to a girl I met at the bar. She was a very good looking, approachable, cool girl. I sent her a "meh" initial text 30 minutes after the bar closed to no reponse... 4/5 people ITT said don't bother, but I had nothing to lose and texted her one last time a couple days after. 30 minutes after the follow up text and I have a Tuesday evening dinner date with a girl who seems like she's looking forward to it.

is it creepy to walk into the coffee shop

order a coffee

say "hey xxx, how have you been? we havent talked in so long, where are you going to school?"

and then she how she reacts?

then if it goes well, talk to her on facebook later where she might have more of a chance to talk?

you really think thats creepy?

It's not creepy if it happens naturally. It's creepy that you're planning it though!

Duke,

just go in with no expectations.

Creepy: Planning your day around going to this coffee shop the times she's working, asking too many questions, look rehearsed, and then contact her on facebook regardless asap

You (in between): Planning to go to her coffee shop, rehearsing in your head how you are going about it, and thinking you will probably contact her on facebook shortly after if it doesn't go terribly.

Non-creepy (ideal way): Go in with no expectations when you actually want a coffee, say hey, make some natural small talk, then contact her if it goes well and you feel there is legitimate comfortable energy. Only contacting her further if it legit goes well.

I would also go when it's not a busy time of day

Yea i agree

Im really only planning on contacting her on FB if it goes well.

Its on my way to class. Instead of stopping at a convenient store on my way, ill stop at the coffee shop. Its not totally 100% natural, but i dont think thats creepy.

I think in the vast majority of these situations "creepiness" is subjective and you thus can sort of define it on your terms.

Like if you think it's a creepy thing to for you to do to stop by this girl's work hoping to make small talk and you act that way, she will be likely to pick up on that and may think you are creepy. If this is just a normal fun casual thing she will pick up on that as well. It's all what you put out there, people take cues about situations and how THEY should be thinking about it mostly from other people.

I say relax and go for it.

Most ******ed conversation ever. Just go and say hello Ffs. So much over thinking ITT.

Duke:
P4S- made good point go at a non busy time
Go in owning the place
Say Hows ur day going - bring up an old fun time you guys had
Say someone recommended this place for best coffee in town - no pressure
see if you get some small talk going and get contact info then and there if it looks good

I say stay away from facebook chat

I'd say, only Facebook chat with her, then go to her workplace, but only to take pictures of her.
Later, send her those pictures on Facebook and write:
"Saw you earlier today , you looked great, as usual and like the last 7 times I went to Starbucks, just to see you."

+1

Victoria Justice 9/10 in looks? Only just saw a thread on her in BBV. She is unbelievable (for Brunette lovers like me anyway)

Yeah, she is definitely great looking. 9/10 or even better.

Her face is amaze

Has nothing to do with risk. Has to do with how you calculate EV. If you take a micro approach and look at EV as being specific to a specific girl then pretty much every piece of advice I give is wrong. Girl specific dating though is a losing proposition given most guy's goals -- for some guys who have different goals it might actually be the better choice. The for most guys the correct way to view this is long term and long term it was a negative for you to text her even though you got a date out of it. It is still a negative.


Why now?

I am going to assume she didn't just get the job this week so why would you go in now? Basically what is the trigger?

If she just added you on FB, if she just added the job to her profile, if she just broke up with her BF, etc then it will come across as creepy. Girls are not stupid and if there is an obvious trigger event for why guys would be crawling out of the woodwork they will see it for what it is almost always.

If there is not obvious trigger event then if she sees it as creepy or not will come down to execution. You didn't give details if this is a sit down diner style coffee place or a behind the counter type. If the latter you will not get much interaction. If you try to force it you'll be pretty obvious and back in the creepy category. If you do this you have to not force it which means be happy with what will likely be minimal interaction.

Ariana Grande easily wins it imo...

doesn't everyone see what you say on facebook?

Only stuff you post on Walls.

FB also has a PM system and a chat system both of which are private.

Excuse me this thread is only for srs discussions about dating. Can we please get back on topic?

Sent from my HTC One using 2+2 Forums

HTC bros represent!

Sent from my HTC One using 2+2 Forums

You're deluding the thread even more by saying that.

By a proper phone mate.

You're deluded if you don't think the One is the tits. Your posts dilute this thread. By the way I'm sorry I didn't buy an iphone like everyone else in my town.

Could be worse -- I bought a N900 thinking the vastly superior o/s would soon lead to it being a major player. Now my choices of apps are all Swedish.