that's the girl from Philly? Whatever happened with her potentially moving to DC?

Yeah it's her. No mention of it recently so I assume not happening.

Tinder girl just texted to ask if I was "ready for margaritas" whatever that means. I just said I can't tonight blah

Isnt she 19? Tell her you dont condone underage drinking.

I know when I was in first year, or a freshman for all you American's I was/looked young. When I was 20, 18 year olds looked really young. When I was 23 most 18 year olds made me feel like I was really old.

Nothing against a 20 year old, or someone older dating/banging an 18 year old. Just saying I probably wouldn't have done it past a certain somewhat arbitrary age which I guess would be the age where I wasn't as attracted to someone that much younger and started feeling a bit creepy.


Europe tho

o ya forgot hes in paris.

no obv im back in dc. she has a fake tho so it's cool! (!!!)

Yes.

You do drugs -- Alcohol is a drug. It's more of the deadliest and dangerous ones.

Thank you for your post Cavallo Italiano. I would like to post something down the track but only to help others.

I find there are much other substances that are safer than alcohol (subjective) and also provide a better high (subjective). Anyway, everyone is different, this is just me. But I don't think of them as a big deal, like anything, if you do them in moderation. I know of plenty of people who do and get really good women, or relationships,, etc. They are normal people, probably persons you wouldn't even think of touching them.

I wasn't all that well-into stimulants as they made me more nervous. Sometimes they're fun though.

I feel quitting will be possible. 3 months was easy for what it was. I am just in a time where I'm listening to my body and mind; I've had enough for now. I don't plan to quit forever. I will still smoke or drink if the time came up with a girl ofc.

I took a panadol once when I had a headache too.

#poppinpillsbruh

just because we tend to discuss these things more in here than in LC... gonna go ahead and give a recommendation of the highest order to greek yogurt for gettin on dat der brotein time. like 0 fat, 9c, 24p. mixes well with anything. its my new cottage cheese.

Time to start a new derail thread for Greek yoghurt.

Any of you familiar with snapchat? My date last night mentioned it and from what she said its basic purpose is for sending dirty pictures lol. Think I'm going to have to let her know I now have the app.

ive been eating like 3 greek yogurts a day for the last 5 years.

That's what I thought it was for. Except the only thing all my friends do on it is send pointless ******ed pictures to each other 24/7.

And just a heads up, I don't have it but I know it's pretty easy to reconfigure your phone so you can take screenshots of pictures she sends you without her knowing (if you so desire).

There is an OOT topic about someone getting charged for doing this to a underage girl

I related pretty hard to Cavallo's posts to an extent. It got me thinking. I'm also usually pretty comfortable talking to girls, and am a likable/liked guy. But I also suffer with escalating/making a move, however you want to put it. I thought maybe I'd do better, if I had sort of a baseline plan on how to proceed. So say I'm sitting at a bar on sofa, talking to the girl next to me. Not that rare an occurance. But when I'm at this spot and the girl is someone I want to make a move on, I often get lost. Start wondering in the spot, what I should do. This could show on me/make the conversation go worse, but even if it doesn't it can't be good. So to use poker terms, if I had some standard line I could vary, I'd probably do better, as I'd start to escalate automatically by doing certain things. So, what should this be? Start getting more touchy while talking? Hands, knees, shoulders, etc? What sort of things should I look for to know if I should stop, keep going, or go further? Been bored at work and trying to think of things to improve on myself (after reading this thread) and thought if I took some advice and sort of did mental practicing for these situations, I'd be more ready when it actually happens.

All tips appreciated.

TL;DR appreciate any advice on this

So Saturday I ended up going to a really cool bar/club in my hometown. I got approached by not 1, but 2 above average/hot chicks (rare). Chick #1 is the Hot one, chick 2 was the above average looking one.

I arrived with my friend at this particular bar at about 12:30 and was approached by a cute girl like an 8.5/10, looked about 26-27 (probably 2-3 years older than me ish?) who was out with her gay guy friend. The convo was relatively short, but went decent. Anyways I forget how it all happened, but the talk about exchanging phone numbers came about, for us to meet up sometime. I actually think she brought it up. I didn't have my phone on me, it was dead in my car. So I suggested texting myself her name so I had her number, and I'd text her. I was pretty sober and wasn't ready to dance just yet. I'm really pissed that I didn't just offer to buy her a drink and then dance, but after the phone exchange happened she suddenly walked off and was talking with a random person, so I went ahead and figured that was that, nbd, cool - a possible date at least. Wished I was much more assertive, which I normally am.

So I end up sitting on one of the sofas with my buddy and we get to talking about what just happened, then suddenly girl #2 (prolly a 6.5/10) approaches us and starts talking to me. Convo goes smooth, I suggest we dance, and so we do. We get heated on the dancefloor and start making out, get her number and we have texted a bit since. The thing is, the girl #1 is definitley cuter, and I want to get to know her more.

Here's the problem: I texted girl 1 when I got to my car that night and said "Hey xxx, it was nice meeting you tonight. We should get together soon." to no response. This all happened on Saturday night/sunday early. I think there is a 50/50 chance she saw me dancing with the other girl, and was pretty into it, so if she saw she's probably put off by it. There definitley is a chance girl 1 didn't see, though because the dancefloor was pretty packed. I also never saw her after our first encounter.

I know I goofed up by not offering girl 1 to dance right away and get a drink... I get it. Is this worthy of a hail mary text? And if so, any suggestions on the last effort text is appreciated. I was thinking of saying something that shows I remember her pretty well, or short and witty is possible. Can I send a picture of me in the opening text to remind her who I was? That sounds like a little much, if she doesn't remember exactly it's probably not worth it. We literally spoke for maybe 5 minutes. Thanks in advance.

Jabonator - Why not ask the girl to dance? Or is this a dive bar that you are at usually?

P4S,

dont do anything. Tbh, I wouldnt have send the first text, but I am very bearish on phone numbers without anything else (imo they rarely, if ever, lead to anything).

Wait until you run into her again, there are tons of other girls out there, you didnt really have a connection. If she is really an 8.5, she probably had the same conversation you two had with a bunch of other guys that night.
She was special to you (from what it seems), but you werent special to her.

Could be a bar, could be a student party at a random location. Not really that good at escalating while dancing either. Usually when I'm on the dancefloor, I dance with some random group of friends, just having fun. Rarely thinking about making a move on a girl. Sometimes we'd have been on the dance floor as a part of some group, then later we'll be sitting at the table, talking, etc, when the original situation occurs.

I don't disagree with this school of thought, but I have 0 to lose and only to gain if she responds.. right? She lives like 30 to 40 ish mins away and this was her first time at this bar, so I may not see her again fwiw

I dont buy into the thought: "What do I have to lose?"

If you always ask the question and whenever you answer to yourself "nothing", you do it, then this becomes a pattern and part of your personality, of who you are.

What do you have to realistically gain by it? What is the best outcome? How likely is that outcome?
To me, this is the equivalent of pushing tiny edges in poker. You really should be looking at spots that are likely to materialize and stop worrying about stuff that is very unlikely, even if there is no downside.


I am very well aware that I am in the minority with this, but on the other hand I havent met anyone who is successful (not alone with women but with anything in life) by constantly pushing small edges.

I mean if you have some chemistry then dancing should be really easy to escalate a bit without being too pushy about it. I think if there is an attraction while sitting down teasing and sarcasm works well if she's the type to take sarcasm the right way.

I am going to agree with Spurious on texting. I see no gain just negative in texting a second time.

As for Jabonator situation I'm not sure. Having a standard playbook has some benefits but unlike poker the number of options are s great that I don't know if that is possible.

Jab,

I recommend searching Henry's posts ITT for the word "tat" and read all his tit-for-tat stuff, really good advice all around.

Basically, you shouldn't ever be "making a move". When she shows interest, you show slightly more, if she shows more than that, you show more, etc. A simple example could be:

She eye-f*cks you from across the bar.
You walk over and say hi.
She grabs your arm while laughing at a joke of yours.
You briefly put your arm around her while at the bar to ask what she wants to drink.
She grabs your as* jokingly as you walk away to go to the bathroom.

etc, etc. You shouldn't be sitting down talking to a girl and just start caressing her leg or go in for a kiss out of nowhere.