I probably should actually read the original TR to catch up on this. I guess you didn't fool around that much because you would've figured out pretty easily if she was on her period or not.

save yourself the aggravation

I think disko is taking too hard of a line here. Here's my understanding of events

-Tuesday-ish between classes you asked her out in general, she said yes, maybe thursday
-Thursday in between classes you asked her out for thursday night, she said she was busy, said maybe tomorrow, but was late to class (understandable), so she gave you her number and said to text her and hurried off to class.
-Today (Friday) you aren't sure what to do and you haven't texted her yet...

If I missed something in the timeline let me know. There's a few things you've messed up so far.

You shouldn't have asked her out the day of, as it's perfectly normal for an attractive girl to already have plans on a given night by that afternoon. So you basically set yourself up to get a "no" there which isn't helping your overall cause. Set up dates further in advance.

The second thing you could have done better was to text her as soon as you got her number (reasoning is outlined in my post here) Essentially you want to establish contact and make it so she has your number. I would have sent her something like "Hope you didn't get called out for being 49 seconds late" 5 minutes into her class.

As for what to do now, nothing. Since you already tried Thursday, do not instantly ask her out Friday, it just comes off as needy and like you are too available/have nothing else going on in your life. At least fake like you are a busy social guy who is booked up all weekend and can't make time for one random girl from class. Or, if you are actually going to a really cool party/bar this weekend then sure send her a casual invite to meet up/ come along, but other than that wait.

Unfortunately you haven't established text contact which you should have done long ago. If you have something funny/inside joke/random try to send her something and establish it/ make it so she has your number. If you've got nothing, or will definitely see her on Mon/Tues then wait til you see her in class. Flirt with her however you normally do then ask her what her schedule is like for the rest of the week and find a night that works for you both. Have a plan in mind of what you guys will do and where (ideally drinks at X bar) Don't wait til she says she's late for class to ask her out/try to figure out a plan.

I don't think she's a lost cause at all, you just need to shore up a few things and you guys should be out for drinks late next week. GL.

Don't do this. I can tell you right now she won't "let you know" anything, even if she is a tiny bit interested.

If she replies via text that she's busy without giving a future time she's free, just say "ok cool no worries" and just continue to hang out in class etc with no mention of it. Ask again a week or two later.

duke,
how did you get her number? why has there been no texting?
i basically agree with diskoteque here. girls will say "i'm busy" but if she wanted to see you she'd snap with a time that she is free. i say go for the experiment though. it's not a big deal.

duke,
is this girl asian?

I was under the impression all he's done is ask her in person if she wanted to go out Thursday and she was rushed, late for class and said "no, i'm busy but maybe on Friday. text me." I don't take that as a full rejection, although of course it could be. I wouldn't experiment just yet, seems salvageable and from what he's posted of their earlier interactions she seemed somewhat down.

pmuir10, you had a good reply. gl Duke

thanks pmuir, wish i had seen your response earlier. looks like i ****ed everything up i guess.

cliffs so far: asked her out on wednesday for thursday, she said idk, asked her again thursday, she said busy but maybe available friday so text me.

classes end wednesday btw so thatll be the last time i see her unless she agrees to come out with me

texted her this morning, talked a bit, told her im in the library doing my research paper and then told her im going to get something to eat afterwards and she should join me.

her response: "Can we go some other day? I have some stuff to do today and I want to get half of the paper done too." (its due wednesday)

my response: "Yea thats fine, just text me when you want to go."

her: "Alright ill let you know."

im pretty much just chalking this up as a loss and open to any experiments at this point. we have no mutual friends or anything, shes just some completely random girl in my english class that i thought was really cute.

tc i got her number after class one day, asked her out, she said yes and gave me her number. also tc, this girl is brazilian. shes 19, she lived in brazil up until she was 18. im 20 and indian, but lived my entire life in the US.

Two weeks ago



1 week ago


This week

also it took an hour and a half for her to respond b/t me asking her and her saying shes busy

Duke, if it wasn't already time to give up, now sure is. You're probably making her feel uncomfortable at this stage. Quit all contact immediately

Damn, too bad. Oh well hopefully you learned from it. The best news is you are still young and will have plenty more classes with plenty more hotties. You can just tweak a few things in your approach as suggested for the next time. Another thing to take away from this is that you don't have to act that fast in these situations (within reason). If you aren't sure what to do/say take your time, let some time pass, a few hours a few days whatever. Silence like that with a girl who isn't going anywhere is wayyy better than rushing to hang out and coming off as too needy/eager/available.

As for this one definitely just cut off all contact until class on Wednesday (don't worry she won't reach out before then either). Don't bring up anything about hanging out at class, just talk and flirt whatever and gauge from there.

Also your texting needs some work. Your response: "Yea thats fine, just text me when you want to go." is really weak and comes off as if you are a bit annoyed as well as free anytime to be at her beck and call.

You want to go with something more laid back and playful like "Aw how studious of you. No worries, another time." Optional smileys in there since you are in college still.

Don't read too much into timing stuff like this. I'd consider 5 seconds all the way to 20 hours as the standard response range for girls who still might be interested (and yours should be the same). 1.5 hrs doesn't really tell you anything at all IMO.

Diamond is a classic example of someone who asks for advice, then upon not hearing what he wants ignores all of it and does what he wanted to in the first place even though it's clearly bad. This is the kind of bull**** that just drives good posters away.

Pretty sure it's lost at this point since she hasn't offered and alternative more than once even though she could have easily done so. Don't text her again.

Yup, thanks guys for the advice.

I wont text her at all. we do have class monday, tuesday, and Wednesday, though and then the semester ends. I should just continue to act as i have the last month with her on these class days?

Also, on Wednesday the last day of class, should I ask again or just say our goodbyes?

best move is to slip her a note on the last day that says

"do you even like me?

[ ]yes
[ ]no
"

i wouldn't ask again. she knows you are interested. if she is keen she will re-initiate but this seems extremely unlikely

Thanks bro

Cool. Thanks guys, i appreciate your help

I think you knew the answer was not to ask her again.

No it isn't, that's half the reason most people read these threads. It's people who argue against good advice all the time and tell everyone else they're wrong. Diamond knows he's wrong, he just does it anyway.

obviously diamond and this girl have a very weird dynamic that is so far from normal behavior that I'd just say **** it and continue truckin and doing what he's doing and see what happens.

she is not interested do not ask again.

i really didnt

i could have guessed as much, but wasnt totally sure if that would be fine or not.

but got my answer, thanks.