The world is a sick place.

#ballasLivesMatter

Ok so going back on the blasphemous statement made about Spearmint Rhino being the best strip club there is....y'all wrong.

TR: Cigar Dan, my friend (the girl he was ****ing), and I decided to go to a popular strip club here in South Florida. We were greeted by nice gentlemen at the door, proceeded into the club where the other girl and I didn't have to pay cover. Got about $50 in singles from the nicest Asian cashier in the world.

We sat down at a table close to the stage and within minutes a beautiful cheerful cocktail waitress took our drink orders and was back in a timely manner. Up on stage, the ladies were on point. Amazing bodies, good dance skills, smiling, and great interactions with the patrons.

We decide we want to make it rain on some hoes so we sit by the stage. My friend and I comment on how soft the strippers skins' were. Getting on the tipsy side my friend folds a dollar bill and places it in the stripper's ass crack and asks "Do you moisturize?" Lol. Then within minutes, I aquire a strip club boyfriend. For those of you that dont know, a strip club boyfriend is a guy that sits next to a single girl at the strip joint and tries to talk, hit on her, have her spend his money on drinks and strippers, or any combination there of. Happens to me everytime. After introductions, one of the most amazing performers come on stage. When she's done with her bit, she starts coming around for tips, and when she gets to me an amazing thing happens. She takes her tip spreads her legs out rubs the dollar on her pussy leaves it there and then lets out a humongous queef. The dollar bill fell on the stage like a piece of confetti <3. Strip club boyfriend was just as amazed and extending his wallet to me asked how much he should tip her. I pulled out a $50 and told her how amazing she was.
I was having a great time and decided I wanted to get Cigar Dan a lap dance. I looked for the blondest, no curve having, most emaciated girl I could find, just his type. Shortly after we had our final drinks I said goodbye to strip club boyfriend and we left, most definitely a great night.

Fast forward to Vegas this summer....

We got on the highway super excited about FINALLY getting to experience the "World famous" Spearmint Rhino. Once we get there, token roid douche bouncer informs us we are getting a big discount for coming in. I think we still paid 10$ or $20 each?? Once we get inside the overall ambiance is sullen. We sit down wanting drinks and we don't get served for 30 minutes. No it wasnt that busy. To add insult to injury, the chicks can't dance, they aren't hot by stripper standards, and they all had mean mugs. It made me think that maybe thats what it would feel like to visit a zoo where they dont feed the animals often. Needless to say the experience was very disappointing. So in short...

TLDR: Spearmint Rhino sucks, you all have to get out more if you think this is the best

Come to South Florida Cigar Dan and I will show you a good time we have soft poker rooms and better strip clubs.

qft!!!

solid story btw booboo

We have an IRL pal of CigarDan itt? Nice

I'm at my regular bar getting free drinks like a boss. I ain't no ****ing hobo ffs. They respect the King around here, as should Sammy.

Calm down Fish

unfair to compare BFE strip clubs to mecca based strip clubs based on costs. Everything in the holy land is way over priced, you are not factoring the conversion of the value of money into your rating. You see, 7 dollars in the middle of ****ing nowhere wasteland that is south Florida is worth 1 in the holiest of hollies. you see 1*3fitty*2 for holiness = 7

you can't expect a world class goddess to work the same for a dollar as a back country ass ho. Get your mind right CD

mmmkay

also KF tag heuer is aids, be a man get a real watch to go with your real man beer

If you don't work on the corporate office world why in the holy F would you even need a watch of even $ value

I've been checking some AP's lately actually

ballers gonna ball

forgot what models even lol

something tells me you dont have the br for that playa?

so ur saying i can't check out AP's?

btw go cubbies?

Drunk at work ****ers do the aaaaaa

**** the cubs ima white sox fan. you too babyish to recognize my sn obv

cubs can *****

I will fly home just to laugh and piss on the stadium when they lose

you and me both brotha

You can't stand up straight either? Perfect.

set the bar high bro, the model you are looking for is 15400, don't do the ROO chrono thats like putting gold thread in your suit pinstripe, true ballers have taste

ima finish this whiskey befor ei drive home, come an catch me mutha fyckaz

and **** you bbv, i was trying to get some work done and leave by 8, now i will have to come in hungover and finish either saturday morning, or sunday mornung, or mondya morning.

****ing *******s

this is balla af