I haven't drank them all on any day since I was a wee lad of 21

so yes, every day is a **** day

Hay wooffle, where is mini-eggo

Saturdays breakfast

And that would make me an Arse Pirate.

JFC can't you guys see a setup when someone leaves one out there?

after growing tired of these agressive whores giinding on my leg that I can't even try to proposition due to the ungodly amounts of whiskey corsing through my veins a little miracle happens. My friedns phone is sitting on the table and a facetime call comes though. I can't see straight enough to read the name so i pick it up and start mumbling nonsense. The voice on the other end sounds somewhat upset. Turns out. Sorry bro, there is going to be some collateral damage when you start drinking heavily at 7:30am. At this point I have had my fill of this strip club bull **** but knowing its my last night I still have some gambol and hooker hunting to do. So I pull an irish exit and stumble into a cab. I have no how idea people can see this in me but within 30 seconds of being in the cab the driver asks if i want to go skiing. I act sceptical and haggle with his lolvegas cabbie pricing and skeptically buy a teener. I do not ask if I can partake in the back seat and proceed to rip as much as I could fit on the corner of my hand. Those of you that know the feeling know I was now sober, feeling like superman and readxy to continue drinking my face off.

I head back to Cesars do the walk of shame again and start playing $5 SL VP. The high limit slots there let you double or nothing for no edge, yea that worked out great. I just sit there ripping lines right at the VP machines until I bust out my roll, save enough money for breakfast before I leave. I did hit 1 quads for 625, hit the double up button and pull, you guessed it . By the time I am down to my last grand I am somehow lucid enough to know that there is no way I can win enough back to feel better so I pop a xanny head to my room, pound two shots of whatever they had in there and am out like a light in 10 minutes.

Wake up same breakfast routine, and then I meet this fine young lady

I collect my things, leave $20 for the maid because there is seamen and god knows what other bodily fluids scattered throughout the room and head to the airport. Filled with shame I end up getting there 2 hours before my flight because I had had enough of the desert. Fortunately airports have bars and airplane drunk is a top three drunk. So I just sit at the airport crushing double vodka sodas (gotta highdrate at this point). 8 of those and 2 hours later american airleines send my broke ass home with 3 pennies and a ball of lint in my pocket and a hightened chance of having an sti.

Did I mention I ****ing love vegas?

I always deliver brah

Delicious breakfast.

Bolded statement verified

I think I found out what "going skiing" means

Great TR

I found two definitions and I don't think I could pull either of them off.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaadadwwaaaaaaaaaaaaa

Didi i mention its already March in every civizoed part of twh worlsd? Whos gonna make the thrad? Morphs blacjout sake drunk, im close to that, Sammys sving the world from himslef. mmkays and majik are having coke recongiftion pronelms

i like march i can make it

It's not all that shocking to find out March is Germanys fav month. Go look at the Urban dictionary for skiing. The pun in my last post was wasted.

´Dont worrx bro, were not gonna invsae Canada nothing itneresting there, just like Denmark

Ima rocker aim a roller

I'm sent a request to Ottawa to stop all bacon exports immediately.

the bacon is not what it seems

The twitterverse is amping up the wtf factor by freaking out over Conways shoes on a couch. Morphs idea is looking less crazy as each day passes.

Of course!

Yes, but Mr. Thabighurt has not mentioned whether he loves alcoholic beverages. Sheep would appreciate it if Mr. Thabighurt could clear that up.

wat? i blame obama

I do not like them, i love them

I'll make the thread for the civilized parts of the world

Just kidding mr FranFran I don't want to take the pleasure from you and your popsickle fetish