Could never post in this thread without a gimmick account and proxy... Done some horrible, horrible things.

I just finished reading practically the whole thread. The first quarter was definitely worth it, the last few pages: not so much.

Please, less petty crimes and more epic stories!

sickining

5 stars

So I’m 15, living in France, and really into racing cars, karting and all that stuff. But that’s on racetracks. In France you can’t drive on open roads until you’re 18, but I’m young and extremely dumb so what the hell, let’s go for a ride. That started a two-year period of weekly night adventures with my friends, in a variety of cars that belonged to our parents. Where I live, you get some amazing roads, the asphalt mountain rally type.
Anyway one night, my friend and I are in my mom’s lolRenault Clio 1.4. He’s driving and being quite careful. Suddenly there’s a loud noise and a pretty big bump. The rear right wheel just went into a deep hole that he didn’t see, and the shock broke the rim. We were slowly losing the air from the tire, and frankly a little panicked. There was no spare wheel because my mom forgot to replace the last one and I just thought that there was no way I would ever be able to not face the consequences. As a teenager that means you believe your life is over.


Back in the car, we still have a long way to go back home. I manage to drive my friend back to his place. Fortunately, we lived close to each other. By the time I was driving back to my place there was no air left in the tire. Now I’m driving a car at 3am with no driving license and a rim that is making tons of noise. Obviously I’m in a special state of mind. Every time the wheel spins feels like it’s going to alert the entire police department. I don’t know someone might get sick of the noise and call the cops. But I get back home, the car is parked and I’m staring at it feeling completely ****ed. This lasts for half an hour before I decide to just go to bed. Of course I couldn’t sleep. Then happens some kind of machiavelic miracle up there in my 15 year old ******ed head. I have a solution, I might get away with this.

See, a few months back, some punks decided it would be fun to do some damage on the cars that were on the building’s parking lot. They stole rims and broke into some garages.
So I get back down on the parking lot and execute the plan. I take off what’s left of the wheel and leave the car leaning on the axle. It’s now 5am, and here I am carrying the destroyed rim, trying to find a good place to dump it. Eventually I go for some random bush a mile away from home.
This could have been the end of the plan, except that I thought I needed to make it look like vandalism so I could BS a credible story to the parents and possibly some neighbours. So I targeted a few other cars on the parking lot, pulled out the Swiss army knife and started stabbing a couple tires here and there.
Next morning, I’m looking at the car from the kitchen’s balcony (9th floor), and start faking it. “Mom come over here please. Look at your car. It looks like it’s leaning to the right, can you see it?”
Amazingly, she almost instantly linked it to the punks I mentioned earlier. They were pissed, filed a proper complaint, insurance delivered… AND I GOT AWAY WITH IT.

bien joué

Whole lot of epicness in this thread.

My turn now.

First, let me clarify the situation. My father'd been an alcoholic for few years but not the typical one. He would basically drink on a daily basis 3-4L of beers from 5pm until he'd be too drunk to stay awake. He would not drink anything on the morning like other alcoholics do.

He would start to get angry at me and my brother if he saw us during his ritual.
Once, he swore at me and my mother with really nasty words. Since then, I hated him and I don't think I'll ever forgive him.

Anyway.

One week, he suddenly went to my room to tell me how much he loved me, .. which was really awkward and I didn't answer anything (or maybe few "hmm, ok"). I obviously felt something was wrong and I immediately understood what he was about to do.

So I went downstairs few hours later, saw envelopes on the table and a letter which was basically saying "I'm done with this stupid life, I love my kids but my life is awful and I can't stand it anymore".

I also saw he drank a ton of beers and strong alcohols.

Oh by the way he was asleep in his bedroom at that time.

And here comes the confession. I litteraly took a long time thinking "Should I call 911". After like 15 minutes, I decided it would be too hard for me to live with this for the rest of my life, so I did call 911 and they saved him.

I regret my decision.

Wow, wtf deep!

PICS OF DAD?

I honestly don't care if i'm getting trolled, you're a ****ing disgrace. Don't think you've ever posted anything remotely funny.

This appeared on another confessions thread:

banged a girl whos vag was so smelly that when i was about to pull out to let her suck me off and splooge in her mouth, i lied and said i had to take a piss and went to the bathroom to wash my **** so she didnt have to taste her vile skunk ****.. prob shouldve just done it so shed realize how bad that **** stinks.. still **** her sometimes when im horny as **** and its never been as bad as it was that time but damn... it was like rotten, i had to burry my face in her neck while we did it to suppress the stench.

lololololol

bro

wtf

lolololol

and you stuck it in why? u shoudla had u blow you instead, but a chick like this will prollly scrape it to death.. id ask for pix - but nahh

Dude, just pray the kids never find this stuff out. If they do, pray to have a quick death, without anything stuck in your ass.

just spray some AXE on ur dick mayneeeeeeee

That "rent" story is basically just rape. The guy should be traced and prosecuted not laughed at.

Havent read the whole thread yet, but pretty sure the strories itt only perpetuate the idea that poker players are scumbags.

You've hurt my feelings man.

I've been reading this thread for hours at work. That day just went by so fast.

5 stars.

Still remember reading that rent post about 4 years ago. 2p2 folklore but still pretty messed up

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