What is all of a sudden? Being unaware or being eclipsed?

I know, I think, what you're trying to say. Let me try to rephrase:

"The glory of the moment eclipsed my awareness of these afflictions."

But it's difficult to edit without knowing context.

"All of a sudden" should be set off with commas, imo. As for "eclipsed by glory" sitting by itself as a phrase, that is not a standard usage and it's meaning is very unclear. It seems to me that the afflictions can be eclipsed, or you can be eclipsed, but the awareness cannot be eclipsed, as awareness is not present in the sentence at all. Additionally, there is an assumed connector there, such as a conjunction.

If we weren't trying to be lyrical we would probably write something like "When, all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions, as they have been eclipsed by glory." It would change the meaning a bit, but we could also go "When, all of a sudden eclipsed by glory, I am unaware of these afflictions." Alternately, we could break it into two sentences.

If we really want to keep that verbiage, I think the dash is the best we can do. There will be no punctuation that will make it a standard sentence, imo.

Often it's best to follow a simple rule: If you have trouble saying what you want to say in one sentence, use two sentences. If two sentences don't suffice, use three. And so on.

Outside of context, the meaning is muddied in awkward phrasing, using words that don't advance the idea or clarify the meaning.

However, a quick search shows that is a lyric from a song called "How He Loves." Knowing that it is a Christian song helps to clarify the meaning and rhythmic decisions.

If I was converting that to prose, I would toss out that entire sentence. I believe you are done editing when you kill the sacred cow.

Geez. If I knew it was a song, I wouldn't have tried.

Ah, this makes more sense.

All of a sudden - I lost all sense of grammar.

You owe me $5,000 for the above comment, Mr. Schlitz. I'm an extremely busy individual on a tight travel schedule and require a substantial recompense. Payment in gold would be appreciated. Thank you.

Here's a simple solution:

"When all of a sudden, I am -- unaware of these afflictions -- eclipsed by glory."

Hmmm. I'm not sure what that songwriter was going for, but it doesn't seem "I am eclipsed by glory" is quite right.

ok. jesus f-in christy lol

He is jealous for me, Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
And I realize just how beautiful You are,
And how great Your affections are for me.
And oh, how He loves us oh
Oh how He loves us,
How He loves us all

backstory and context of lyric

please lord grammar gods

u guys. thx for the help

the biblical meaning of jealous
The all-encompassing love of a jealous-for-me Jesus sometimes involves pain not understood and caused by his force, weight, mercy etc

When all of a sudden the anguish of losing my friend is eclipsed by the glory of god

it's actually an amazing metaphor of meaning, those 1st 2 lines of lyrics

the 3rd line may not read as well, but it's tough to reconcile that idea in one concise passage, dave!

Goat

He is jealous for me, Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.





Stephen Coffey broke

Seems fine. A comma also works.

The concept of a "jealous" god is from the Old Testament (the Book of Exodus), where it is related to the commandment that says "Thou shalt have no other gods before Me". That is, it is a command to follow the (then relatively novel) idea of monotheism.

Why would anyone want to properly punctuate lyrics/poetry?

I'm hardly a poet or lyricist, but hey, I can try...

He is jealous for me, Loves like a hurricane, I am a tree,
-- 16 syllables.
-- "Jealous for me," so why not a hurricane? How wanton.
-- What does it mean to be jealous for someone?

Bending beneath the weight of his wind and mercy.
-- 11 syllables, with the total so far at 27. Most music is written in 4 beats per bar / 16 beats per measure.

A problem with both lines is a strong lack of rhyming schemes. The rhyming is located only at the end of each line, with no consideration of the general sounds leading up to each.

Line 1 is "ee, i, e, uh, o, ee, uh, ii, ah, u, i, ae, ii, a, ah, ee"
Line 2 is "e, i, ee, ee, e, eh, uh, i, i, a, e"

For the most part, lyricists attempt to combine syllables to assist the singer move up and down the scale, where "ah" is rising, long e's for staying on top, and other vowels to move towards or stay at the bottom.

The structure of this song forces the singer to stay in a very narrow range, no matter if that's the intent. You can hear the singer you linked to straining to move up and down, and this is why.

When all of a sudden, I am unaware of these afflictions eclipsed by glory,
-- Wait, what is happening here?

Have you ever been in a hurricane? There are a few things you aren't going to see during a hurricane: the sun, the moon, and by extension, an eclipse. You definitely can't eclipse a hurricane.

To me, that's an odd transition of ideas. We go from stormy to clear skies from one line to the next. I don't think this helps advance the story or the idea very well. If this line was in the next verse, we can get a cleaner transition.

***

Okay, I just went hardcore nit on this. I'm all for the idea that someone poured his heart into this song, and I'm all for the idea that this means a lot to people that enjoy it.

I don't like 'unaware'. I could live with 'become unaware,' or 'am heedless' or 'am unmindful,' but it seems to me that once you are aware of something you will remain aware of it, unless, of course, you are my age.

Thanks.

I occasionally encounter an idea in the written word context, and I'm just curious



Yeah, it means something to me. I think it's inspired art.

Your interpretation is goofy. He's not saying he's in a perpetual hurricane.

thx again, guys

"It all comes down to how we view higher education, and what we perceive our role to be in the mettlesome political priorities such as championing the erosion of shared governance, mandating administrative data-driven end results, and the emboldening of utter contempt for faculty autonomy."

This is from an op-ed by one of my colleagues who fancies himself a writer with talent. Any reaction?

Not sure how a role fits in among priorities (and I'd use among, not in) so that's kinda weird. And did they really want to express that the political priorities are full of spirit and mettle?

Punctuation-wise, it's kinda run-on-ish but would work with just an additional comma after "priorities" for me.

That might work better as two or three separate sentences. In its current form it reads too much like someone trying hard to be a writer.

He's wrong?

You can't use mettlesome that way. It has to be applied to something living (or metaphorically implied to be living). I also can't tell if he meant that or "meddlesome". Neither makes any sense at all in context.