Beyond work friends and family, pretty much. I became a reclusive drunk and I'm just now reemerging from that "lifestyle". For clarity though, I've been turning down a lot of dates over the past six weeks, so it's not that I'm desperate. It's just that when I find someone I like I go after it. It's probably a suboptimal course though as I'm beginning to notice that many women seem to be attracted to "unavailable" (emotionally and otherwise) men. That said, I don't take any of the rejection personally. I recognize that much of the time I'm pretty much subverting myself.

Skunk,

<3

Mystery solved, the girl I've been pining over deleted her OKC profile.

Do you get a high proportion of spammers on Tinder? Not even a high proportion but significant enough at all.

So far 100% of the women that have contacted me on Tinder have been scams.

Ah right well no I def have legit connects but got spammed last night for the first time and possibly again now. I have about 12 matches in about 1-2 weeks.

Yeah, well I'm kinda ugly and only 18-22 year old women in my area seem to use tinder.

WTF profile of the day...


http://www.okcupid.com/profile/fvckthvt?cf=regular

I'm an 85% match with that girl. Explains a lot, I guess.

I'm 86%. Back off my girl.

I really don't understand how I keep finding the same type of man.
-----------------------
Past guy...
Him: Do you want to be exclusive?
Me: I don't know, do you? I don't like to date more than one person at a time but I don't care if you do.
Him: Yes I want to be exclusive.
Me: OK, cool.
Next day - Him: I don't want to go out with you any more, I want to date other people.

--------------------------
Current/former guy...
Him: I want to hide my OKC profile, I'm not interested in dating anyone but you.
Me: Oh cool, I was thinking of hiding mine just so I wouldn't get any annoying messages, so I'll hide mine too.
Tonight, to check out the "WTF profile of the day" link, I had to re-activate my profile, so I figured I'd also skim through messages with "current" guy & look at his profile pics again... WTF - he's online!?!!

Maybe he reads this thread too!

Am i the only one who likes that girls profile.....

Sounds like you're running into guys who are simply looking to validate themselves by getting you to be "exclusive" with them.

A female friend of mine, who also does online, said it best - why is it so hard to find someone you like to hang with, chat with and ****???

Classic text from the most recent girl I saw.

Me: You deleted your OKC profile! Are you inviting me to the wedding?

Her: You're stalking me now? Creepy.


Annnnd with that, my weirdest interaction ever with an online girl is over!

Profile stalking isn't necessarily creepy. Texting a girl to tell her you've been profile stalking her always will be.

my god dude that message is awful

But I have another weird one in the queue.

A hottie that I opened with in April, got the number, but I thought it was bogus (it had 8 digits - XXX-XXXXX) so I never contacted her. She deleted her profile soon after. A month or so later she reactivated and reopened with me saying "I feel like we're friends, for never having met...". We eventually exchange a few texts but never meet up. She deletes her profile a month later. Today I see that she's reactivated again and online, so I hit her profile. She insta-sends an email "Heyyyyyy [my name]!". We exchange emails, I ask if her number is still valid and open with her via text. However she eventually stopped responding... sooooo is there anything blatantly wrong with my texts other than being my overly eager self?

This is true. I find some guys are great to chat & hang with but don't like sex as much as I do (or have any stamina). And then there are some who are great to chat & have sex with but no time available to hang out together. "It's always something..."

Stop wasting your time with flaky "hotties" and look for a woman with brains who may not be as hot. Seems obvious to me.

Which part of the exchange with this girl was her showing you that she's interested?

FWIW, I could tell she deleted her profile by virtue of the "anonymous" pic appearing by her messages.

My message? The broad made out with me on Tuesday and we made tentative plans for the weekend. She blew me off. I don't care what my messages are like to her.

These women are surprisingly intelligent. The challenge with "hotties" is they're constantly getting inundated with offers. As such, I'm learning that you need to establish physical intimacy ASAP.

At the moment, if I'm not extremely physically attracted to a woman I find that my interest wanes. Briefly "dating" a 8-9, who loved sex, threw my standards out of whack. I might go into my next series of dates with the sole intent of looking for a "friend."

Instantly emailing me when I hit her profile? Immediately responding to my texts? The entire interaction occurred over the course of 30-45 minutes. How else am I supposed to gauge interest? Or maybe this email...

And that supports the fact that profile stalking isn't necessarily creepy. It changes nothing about the fact that texting her about it is.

Personally I think you're being too uptight about it. Big ****ing deal; I hit her profile, it was deleted, and I inquired about it. This woman was creeped out when in conversation on our date it became known that I know a few of her good friends. She was like, "Creepy! You're totally stalking my life, aren't you?" My thought was: Uh, no. Get over yourself.

Yowsa, this same situation happenned to me last week. So I can shed some light. And it was Okc, lol. And what spurned it was we had been on a bunch of dates, spent a whole weekend together, and screwed like wild banshees all weekend.


Basically for me, it all happened too fast. Not the sex, but the exclusiveness. As things progressed so quickly, the communication just seemed really ****ty. I'm a fairly open person and I think that's what makes me likeable. But she was not. I could only carry the conversation so many times before it got boring for me. This may not be the case with you, but things have to remain entertaining in the beginning to hold a guy's interest besides the sex. Because once we get the sex, it's just sex, we could get it anywhere.

ATF,

You are really weirdly fixated on the fact that you banged some middle-aged woman a couple of times who was a cheerleader 20+ years ago.