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YTF,

Since you posted that, I feel like I should at least try and provide some constructive criticism, but it's just so absolutely horrible beyond belief that it's hard to even know where to start. I echo most of what has been said previously; you come off like some mix between a teenager trying to get laid for the first time and a bitter creepy old date rapist.

The three best things you could do wrt online dating are:

1) Forget everything you ever read in that stupid PUA guide.
2) Use a million fewer words.
3) Stop acting like a ****ing buffoon.

Here's one simple tip for you to get started with. Reply to messages with the same or fewer number of words than they used in their message.

YTF, I made a "creepy things on the Internet" thread a few weeks ago.

YTF,

"I can go back upstairs right now, rub one out, and be over this."
"(really, Scout's Honor--I'm going to go beat off right now, I won't even WANT sex the rest of the day)"

4) Also, only mention beating off or rubbing one out once per message.

This is really good, too. There are obviously exceptions to this but it's an excellent tip.

Here's looking at you, kid

ytf,

You should have been all up in them guts by now. And I can't believe you didn't bring up toys on the first date...no sex, but she might have let you watch her in action

Also thought the "kid" line was wierd and a lil creepy.

I'd post some conversations and pics i've had on these sites, but considering what happens to every thread in oot where I am the subject, well, maybe its best I don't

I'm going to offer a partial defense of YTF here, based on my skimming what he posted.

Of course, there is basically no defense for the end of the exchange. First, you should never indicate that you expect sex from a woman that you've never met, regardless of all the sex talk beforehand. Even a woman goes into a first date thinking she's up for sleeping with the guy, she still wants to feel like it is her choice, rather than a preexisting obligation that she is expect to pay off.

And in the last message, there is no excuse for turning nasty on a dime the moment she expresses her reservations. If you had just written something like "sorry, I got a little carried away....what do you think about the latest (celebrity gossip or whatever inane stuff you were talking about)?", she would have felt comfortable again.

But I wouldn't be so quick to criticize the message length in the earlier part of the conversation. These messages strike me as extremely long and, mostly, just a lot of work to put into someone you've never met. However, it is very clear that the woman was reading all of what he wrote, and responding positively to it. I don't know how old this woman is or how attractive she is, but it is very plausible to me that a chubby, mid-40's guy may need to use a much different set of tactics in online dating than the typical poster ITT. In this particular context, YTF's strategy was working quite well. So I don't see any reason to critique what was working for him, particularly if he actually enjoys the sort of silly banter that he was spitting out.

Like YTF, I like writing long messages myself, mostly for my own entertainment though. That said, I usually regret it later as it sets an expectation that all future messages will be equally entertaining and comprehensive. Specifically, it makes pivoting toward shorter messages awkward as they run the risk of coming off as curt after a pattern of long responses has been established.

I'm pretty sure that expectation is mostly imagined.

no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

It's an absolute ****ing miracle he found a chick to go along with that for a little while. For every 1 of those, he's going to severely creep out 10,000 - and I'm willing to bet that girl was a little creeped out during the exchange but liked the attention so she kept it going. I don't think at any point during that she actually intended on sleeping with him.

So she's the world's greatest troll? Someone writing all that **** has a really polarized range, either she's thinking about YTF plowing her while she writes it or she's doing it 100% for the lulz.

ytf,

how attractive was she? was she a fatty? would she be one of the better online hookups?

there are many girls that are into cybering/sexting/all sorts of stuff, but would not necessarily follow through with the actual act.

I think if he was able to be less weird/kept it going without spazzing out, maybe eventually it woulda led to that, but IME once a girl has decided to sleep with you, there's not a lot you can do to **** it up.

YTF is a morbidly obese middle aged man who got messaged first on an online dating site. Take a wild guess.

fixed

Did you actually read what SHE wrote in the thread? For the majority of the conversation, she was very engaged with everything he was writing, she was often starting new threads of conversation, and she explicitly said she loved reading his responses. Maybe this is rare, maybe it's not uncommon with the sort of women YTF is targeting, I don't know; I doubt many people ITT are message the same type of woman YTF is. But it was working with this particular woman.

j,

"IME once a girl has decided to sleep with you, there's not a lot you can do to **** it up."

Maybe you should go re-read ytf's messages to her.

I agree w/ goofy that she was prob down to have sex with him.

Nick,

I get your point, but there's a good chance it was working IN SPITE OF the messages, not BECAUSE OF them. I bet ytf could have easily transitioned it to a meeting way earlier and prevented that trainwreck of an exchange from ever happening. And he prob would have hooked up with her on the first or second night.

There's no denying it's a spectacular train wreck, but I really don't think of it in tragic terms. So I missed this bus--they'll be another one along shortly.

Finally, somebody gets it! Also, I never use it on women who are clearly younger than me.

Oh, I know THAT feeling, brother! I knew it was also "best that I don't" post that transcript, but what do I care?

That's what this was. I appreciate all the "you write too much" advice, but I should point out that I've always stuck with "short and sweet" on these dating sites, and that this case was an exception. As mentioned in the exchange, the whole point of it was to pass the time until we could actually meet. And when someone writes, "I really enjoy reading your messages," that's all the license I need.

DRUMMOND: Ever been in love, Hornbeck?
HORNBECK: Only with the sound of my own words, thank God.

All in all I didn't think the convo was that bad...i did skim a lot of it though.

You certainly show confidence

I think you were on the right track, YTF. You just need less of everything -- less words, less sex talk, less condescending pet names. When you keep things minimal, chicks are intrigued by your playful vibe.

Word play is definitely in your forte

Except for *there'll ldo