That's a shame as he's a very talented actor.

Had a couple of dates with a woman and we've been talking a lot. Let's call her "M".
One thing that came up is that she was cheated on by her last ex, and therefore is uncomfortable with a partner hanging out with female friends 1-on-1. Groups are fine.

I have a female friend who has a bf, but has mentioned interest in me. Let's call her "T".
While i like the idea of a friend to socialize with, and do things together, i am a little uncomfortable knowing she is interested in me while having a bf. She is definitely flirty and touchy when we spend time together. M is not aware of this yet, as we are in early stages of dating.

I told T that if i end up dating M, time together with T 1-on-1 will have to stop. T told me that she would likely end the friendship as she doesn't want boundaries in the friendship.

I feel like M is within her rights to have boundaries in a relationship, and she hasn't forbid me from having female friends, she is just uncomfortable with me seeing them 1-on-1. Is this unreasonable? Is T unreasonable? Am I a lost cause? (Probably).

Any thoughts are appreciated.

I hate to break it to you but you aren’t “friends” with this girl if she is willing to cease contact if you can’t hang one on one.

She either wanted you to make a move at some point, or was using you for some sort of attention/make her bf jealous play. Focus on the girl you are dating

You know how you watch a video of someone doing something stupid and then the exact thing you knew would happen happens then you say, "What did they expect to happen". That's this. Good story though!

100% nearly all my major blunders in life, looking back on it, as an outsider, I could wholly see the predictable results but given that this was happening to me and someone else

just like prior to my divorce i even recalled telling myself, "if this was happening to a friend of yours you'd think their marriage was on the rocks" but I thought I was special






this is 100% projecting things from failed relationships of my past, but I think this is a massive red flag and I've never seen demands like this not escalate over time

it's not that trust will be earned, it's that over time you become more precious to her and the loss of you to cheating would be even more devastating so the rules become more strict over time

it's unhealthy and restrictive and she'll constantly be paranoid you're going to cheat and going along with this doesn't ease her mind that you won't cheat, it makes her believe you're only not cheating because she's actively managing you to keep you out of situations where it could happen

again, I'm projecting my own experiences, yours may obviously not be the same but i would put my foot down on this and say she needs to learn to trust you

but for real, from my own experiences, that's a run don't walk moment where i'd put my foot on the ground then and there and either stamp it out or kill the relationship because even if my experience was an outlier, i will not spend time getting emotionally invested in someone again who is going to make your life difficult because the "you shouldn't hang out with her 1 on 1" progressed to not going out simply to avoid a fight because you know "oh you're going to play poker, you know there are whores at the casino right? i don't think so" and "you're going to the bar with some friends, what if some drunk slut sees you there? no thanks"








hard disagree with this

A) i personally have a bunch of good female friends whom I've slept with or there's known interest between parties - it can complicate things but doesn't invalidate the friendship - in fact a lot of the attraction is usually due to their personality which is why you are friends in the first place

B) i think she's being reasonable and this doesn't necessarily mean he's there for attention or break glass for emergency dick - there's a lot of people who I much greater prefer to hang out with 1 on 1 because it's a much different dynamic and/or we don't really have too many mutual friends in common and/or don't really mesh well with their friends

for example i have a good friend who is married, we used to bang a bunch, her husband and I are friendly but we're very different people who don't really mesh well and he's always telling jokes which i don't find funny in the slightest - hanging out with her when her husband is around is 100% worse than just one on one with her - we've never hooked up or anything, that's over with, nobody has any intention of that - it is kinda awkward and feels a little guilty because the husband doesn't know about our past but I definitely am happy when i learn that he won't be joining us for dinner because then i feel like I'll have a much better time and legit have zero intentions of making any move

C) it's fairly insulting to tell someone that they can't be trusted and can only hang out under supervised visits - her response is wholly in line with that


obviously she could be also be saying she won't agree to no 1 on 1s because she does indeed want to upgrade from Pepsi to coke - but I still think her response is reasonable and how most people would respond whether or not they drank soda

I think women past 30 are dating with intention ie they want to find a man they can lock down and control and brag to their friends/family about. Once they see you are that man they will begin to tell you they don't want you to **** other girls. Exclusivity applies to you, not to them, mostly due to supply and demand. When you deny their attempts to control you, the true them comes out. Its pretty funny to be honest. The best thing you can do is to tell them you really enjoy your life the way it is now and you dont want to change it. If the person wants to add to the life you have now then great.

both girls want to **** you. I recommend ****ing them both and then exiting stage left when they start complaining

If you are an eligible bachelor and you dont want to be exclusive you simply have to ask the woman "Why would I do that?"

She will say , "so I dont sleep with other people"

at which point you can either tell them you dont care if they do that (and you shouldn't) or you ask them if they are sleeping with other people and continue down that line of thinking.

of course if you really like them you should go the exclusive route but its mostly a scam where you serve the woman until one person gets sick of the other

yeah, T likes you...either legit likes you or just likes the attention and having you as her back up plan

IDK, IMO the mistake you made was talking about this with T in the first place. There was no need for that conversation to happen at this stage of things.

I actually totally agree with your second point. That's exactly what I'd be trying to do because neither feels like a long term proposition. Unless I was friends with the boy friend in which case that is no bueno. I have strict rules about that and I wouldn't

I don't really agree with the first. It's too cynical and not that accurate. Some of it is true but not all of it. IMO most people really do want a proper exclusive relationship, probably you're right that they might give themselves more latitude than their partners but hey...we're all like that.

So IMO and IME, I think it's more likely that a woman will start sleeping with you either a) thinking they're cool just with hook ups or b) thinking they're luring you in with hook ups and then it will develop into more. (and tbh, this is how I ended up with my wife - we were work friends who partied in the same group and would hook up on the weekends and it developed from there). But then when the sexy time has started, they want more and the 'it's cool' vibe disappears.

I had more a 3 months and out rule, making it clear that until I state otherwise you can't assume I'm only seeing you. Some girls will eliminate you, some will appreciate it, and some won't date you but will FWB.

Sometimes you can quickly tell after 2 days--2 weeks you don't want any more of a crazy girl near you, but it takes some good amount of time hanging out to decide if you really want to keep seeing more of someone - at least other than for fwb time.

Met up with a new prospect at a bar one time, hit it off, sexytime was had, it went great, went home, woke up to 27 texts and 14 missed phone calls from her when I awoke. There should be a name for 'Red Flag x 1 million,' honestly.

Yeah, really no need to have these kinds of discussions with either women at this stage of things with "M".

I’ve been participating in this thread for more than 11 years now (Jesus….) and I was thinking we don’t really have much discussion on the algorithms behind the apps.

For various reasons Bumble is the only dating app I’m using just now, and from a man’s point of view that app’s usefulness seems to depend on the specific woman being swiped on happening to be using the app at the time, or very recently beforehand, for a chance of success.

This is because (as far as I can tell) if a woman is using the app at the time and a guy swipes on her, if she’s observant she will see the guy appear in her Beeline (that is, the section that shows exactly who has already swiped right on you) and so can look at his profile and decide to swipe left or right.

Compare this to a situation where the woman isn’t physically using the app at the time and a guy swipes on her. By the time she looks at the app 12 hours later, that guy is now buried under 100 other guys who have swiped right on her since that point, and it seems unlikely she’ll be inclined to swipe all 100 guys who appeared since she last checked.

Is this how people understand the process? To clarify, I pay for lifetime premium, and I’ve heard stuff about how some girls can’t see who’s in their Beeline, or their Beeline is limited in some way.

If it’s the case that most women can’t see who’s in their Beeline and they’re mostly just swiping from the ‘main’ part, this seems to add a whole new level of complexity

I thought you couldn’t see the Beeline unless you paid? I would guess that far less women end up paying than men.

Men should be able to pay for women who they match to get upgraded.

lifetime premium imo is very bad for you because I think its ALWAYS best to delete and re install app every 5-6 months so you are "fresh" to those nearby your location and the app makes it seem new user buff

someone on reddit said for a few months he would open app every other day swipe left on the first and right on the 2nd and he woudl alwasy insat match with teh 2nd, he did say he got alot of matyches but he swore it was the "hack" not sure if thats true anymopre

a few questions

- is this specific to all apps or just one?
- re delete and re-install...so effectively create a new profile from scratch?

I’ve used Tinder, Bumble, and Hinge.

Tinder is a wasteland of IG wannabe’s, not worth anyone’s time.

There ARE girls that are using Bumble to meet guys, but since they have all the power in the opening dynamic, it makes male matches feel very replaceable. It’s annoying to try and start an innocuous opening conversation, and they just unmatch and delete the convo.

I’ve had more success on Hinge. You have to leave a comment on a picture or part of the profile to initiate a like, and I think it drives more engagement. And it’s not like Bumble, where only girls initiate the conversation. Just leaving it open and logging in every few days can get likes to come in.

I’ve got a long list of new dating stuff for jkpoker lol. I moved to Albany and have went out with 7 different girls in like 6-7 weeks which sadly is good for me.

Had sex with 2 girls. One was borderline crazy- idk why I did it but took her to dinner on a 2nd date and she was dtf at my place. So many red flags: she stopped texting me back but her mom was supposedly dieing. Might be a lie but yea idk. She kinda came off as white trash- told me she likes to eat fast food multiple times a month lmao, eats like shitty ramen for lunch that poor college kids eat, and sent me pics of her place that looked like a pigpen (messy). She is 34-35 and looks rough for her age: date 1 she seemed like she was on coke and swearing a lot. White trash vibes hardcore with her.

Had sex with an argentian girl that drove 45 min to visit me. I must not bring it. She got cold after she slept over and we boomed after one dinner date. We drank wine at a wine bar- I bring her back to my place and smash. I was surprised she didn’t want to hang again bc she was moaning a lot during sex haha (maybe faking lol idk)? She said we weren’t similar which was true and our convo proved that. I was just surprised she was dtf but shut it off week after. During sex I called her a whore and other stuff: I feel that may have turned her off lol.

Current situation- dating 2 Asian girls casually now but nothing sexual. Girl 1 I’ve taken on 5 dates- with 2 dinners. Never invited her back but I feel she wants a ltr and got back from movie and dinner with her tonight. We have only kissed. She has solid career and similar interests to me but a little nerdier and she’s a little chubby which I don’t like for a mid 20s chick. I’m 34. She told me she doesn’t go on a lot of dates other than me and I believe her. I’ve never invited her back to my place but did tell her to stop over before going to a food festival and she declined and just met me at event lol. Feel she would be good for a long term relationship but idk I’m just not super into her looks so yes I might just try to be friends with her to play tennis and have nice good friend in a new area.

Other Asian chick went on 1 dinner date with me. She was insanely adorable/ cute and from a big city but lives upstate now. Has a solid career and doesn’t have red flags with like drinking or drugs. I didn’t kiss her on date 1 bc we were both sober: I didn’t get vibes she was super into me: she told me my profile made me look like a f boy so she was a fan of me being nervous in date 1 (per our convo). She said via text I’m shorter than her average guy (lol she’s 5’1 and I’m 5’9 but have me compliments- said I look 25 when I’m 34). We have a dinner date planned for Friday so I plan to escalate with kiss minimum and will invite her back to my place as that will tell me where it stands (idk if she comes back but I think it’s good chance if I do well on date). I told her in person, wow you look so much better than her dating profile and she was flattered. For date 2, she tried to switch it to a double date at an event with beer and food 45 min away from me but her friends declined the invite so we are sticking to sushi near my place. Idk how to read her ask- she wants to friendzone me or liked me so much she wants friend approval? Idk just odd bc I normally don’t ask friends to hang with a girl early on in dating. Btw this girl is so damn attractive- she’s from nyc and super chill cute Asian girl. I’m going date 2-3 go well as she seems to have ltr potential. I might teach her how to play pickleball which could be good.

Horror stories- had one girl leave me after 1 beer after her 2nd shift job late mid week. I’ve never had a girl leave after one beer when I didn’t say something really bad or get drunk.

Another girl, 2nd date she seemed dtf and wouldn’t come back to my
Place. texted me after she has herpes lol. I was like wow I dodged a bullet if that is true. She’s a red flag as she drinks a lot- so much I’ve never been with a girl that drinks like her: she had a double vodka on date one (told me her mom was an alcoholic). We are just friends now and walk on lunch breaks for work bc she works near my apartment. She’s kinda like a guy friend I can talk about dating escapades with. She was off bc she kept looking at her phone on date 1 with other tinder/ other app text messages lmao.

Went out with another girl that was chubby and I knew right away wouldn’t be a match. Convo- we didn’t get along and she told me she goes to bed at like 9-9:30 lmao- I felt I offended her on some comments/ she didn’t look good and ghosted me after just sending a text get home safe and I had fun after date 1 lol. She gave off country hick vibes so I assume she didn’t like me as I give off feminine pretty boy vibes.

Sorry if my posts come off as mean or judgemental. Just saying it how I see it. Not trying to offend anyone or be a dick. I’m just painfully honest with my analysis.

Two roots though

We all know which 2p2 member we want advice from on these details!

Also kudos to that girl for the herpes message. Outstanding way to gtfo of a date/ensure you never see someone again without being mean to thwm

I feel she could be lieing but like on our date- we vibed very well and was like certain she was coming back to my place. I kinda believe her thought bc we still talk and hang out- I’m just not really into her now because of that. I’ve never had a girl say something like that- so I kinda think it’s true. Normally they just stop texting me back if they don’t like me.

I don’t mean this to be personal, I just can’t imagine a woman would ever tell a man that if she wanted anything to do with him moving forward. She’d make something else up

But she's his friend now? And he can tell people she knows that she has herpes. I don't know. I think she was being honest.

Yea I’m iffy I think she could have been lieing but what she tells me- she likes to give BJs to guys and is super promiscuous per on convo. She said she has never given it to anyone (lol) but that isn’t a risk I would ever take and if she’s being honest- I give her massive props for just being upfront about it.

We still talk and hang out for walks. She’s moving to area so I think she could be solid friend even though she has some iffy life choices (she boozes a lot). On our first date she was messaging many guys from dating apps. I’m sure she wasn’t super into me but our convo flowed well and I just got vibes she was ok with me in comparison to other girls
I’ve went out with.

Btw I’m hanging with one girl now (just 1 date) I’m hoping turns into something more. It’s an nyc girl that moved to this area for a bf that she broke up with months ago. She seemed into me- told me my profile made me look like a F boy and she was pleasantly surprised on our date how I was a “nice guy” and nervous lol. I think it’s up in the air if it turns into anything but I think we could be friends regardless as we have same hobbies and got along fairly well on date 1. Appearance wise- i thought she was stunning and had really cool style. She was a petite Asian girl. I’m hoping it turns well. We have a swanky sushi date Friday so that should tell a lot. I’ll invite her back to my place after if it goes well- honestly think she might not be an early sex type in dating but I may be wrong. She openly texts me without me pestering her which has been rare in my last 2 months of dating so I take that as a great sign! (I showed this other girl her pic and told her I went on date with her bc we talk about our online dating stories on walks- she said she was adorable per her hinge pics: I agree and just thought she looked so much better in person).