^^^confusing but funny.

This happened a couple weeks ago...

A guy folds his hand in EP and accidentally tables the Qc. Dealer chastises him (it's a club room, not a casino) just teasing him, giving him a hard time. Then a guy in MP folds his hand and tables the Qs. I couldn't tell if it was on purpose or not, but this really gets the table talking. Of course the players are telling other players don't table your hands. And in the middle of the commotion, the dealer says,

"Okay, if you have pocket queens, you probably wanna shove now, cause I don't think you're hitting your set" and everybody laughs.

It comes to the burn and the flop, and the dealer sets the three cards down, and right before she flips them over, I point at the cards and say, "Okay now flop comes queen queen."

It did. Flop QdQh and a rag. The table ROARED, and the dealer, who normally has this coy demeanor, totally lost it laughing. Took a few moments for the hand to start back up again.

1995/96 Gulfport Grand 15/30 omaha hi ,this guy is escorted in with $22,000 from the carribean stud in the pit .two games going with an open seat in each game the guy loudly anounces he wants biggest game in room so the floor says same game pick a seat -well he was about to sit at the other table when a fast thinker at our table said we are playing 20/40 not 15/30 like the other table come play here ,and he did

One that just happened tonight...

Playing $10 spread limit locally. Room is small (six tables) and has three games going, ours being the largest. A 50ish guy had been playing awful LAGtard earlier on our table and lost a rack. He left and came back hours later to play in the smaller $6 spread limit gamealso going on. He had clearly hit the bar a time or three in his absence.

Guy leaves for a break and stumbles out of the room. When he returns he ambles over to our game, looks at the seven seat which was next to his when he was in our game but is now occupied by a woman who is herself on break. He starts freaking out and loudly saying"Wheres my chips?! What is this my chips are gone!?!"

Guy is starting to come unglued when the dealer at his game calls over "your chips are here sir - seat three!" Guy looks hella confused and then realizes he went to the wrong table and stumbles back to his own game. As he does a young smartass at our game calls out "have another drink!" to which the guy waves him off and yells "Shut the hell up!" He gets a warning from floor and continues playing.

I thought of it after the fact but I could have been a real douche by saying "Well sir, your $10 spread chips are dispersed here, here and in my stack"

Playing a tourney, player A shoves, player B thinks for maybe a minute, A calls clock, B tells floor he hasn't had a reasonable amount of time to think, floor agrees and extends the clock, player A gets mad and starts humming the final Jeopardy music

Winner.

1/2 midafternoon. Villain, younger middle-aged guy in windbreaker, just sat down a couple hands ago. Hero raises button to $14 with JT after two limpers, both call.

Flop JT8 . Check to Hero, who bets $35 into $45. UTG Villain checkraises to $70, has another $70 behind. Hero reluctantly shoves, expecting to see 88 almost as often than a draw.

Turn is 5.

River is T, Hero shows boat instantly.

With a disgusted look, Villain mucks Q9 without showing.

Title comment follows soon thereafter.

How do you know his hand if he didn't show?

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Because of the comment he made and his delayed reaction on realizing he had mucked the winner. Being a poker player I have a pretty good sense of what is happening; trust me.

So why are you playing 1/2?? Sounds like a fabricated story to me as well. If he was a bad player, he would've stared at his hand for 5 minutes before he mucked and realized he had the winner. If he was a solid player he would've known he had it immediately.

and being a poker player, you probably lie alot, so why would anyone trust you?

quick version: i saw a guy call accidentally call an all in of a few hundred $$$ because he thought he was being funny and forgot he still had cards in front of him.

and one of my top 3 poker moments of all time:

i won a $2200+ pot in a 1/2 home game off a guy playing another dude's cards while the owner of said chips was in the other room smoking a cigarette.

while they're counting my stack, i hear the guy tell chip-owner away from the table, "i just lost about $1100." dude obviously thinks he's joking until he comes over to see the dealer sliding over stacks and stacks of red chips.

Wasn't there for this one but heard a story about a middle-aged guy of either Greek or middle-eastern descent I know well who was notorious for steaming like crazy after a beat. He is a good, tight player and was in a wild $2/5 game. He has had a few beats and is teetering.

A young LAGtard gets into a pot with him after a flop of A-Q-x. They raise and re-raise and the kid shoves for a decent amount. Guy has him covered by a small amount (prob ~$100) and snap calls and tables A-Q. Kid had A-2. You know the rest - running deuces and the kid starts laughing.

Guy looks like he's about to blow a gasket but stands up and walks out of the poker room without saying a word. Everyone thinks he's just cooling off since he still has money in the game but hours go by and he's still gone and eventually gets picked up. As it turns out, the guy walked right out to his car and drove ~80 miles to the next nearest casino and bought into that game.

When he told the story to a dealer there, the dealer figured out he wasn't stacked after the hand and asked about it. Guy says he had to just leave and left his chips. He ranted about how he couldn't stand to be in the presence of those $*#&'s for another minute and left his chips in the game to drive over an hour to play at a different casino. He said that he'd just pick up the money when he went back to play there another day.

As of today, the guy has self-banned from most casinos in the area.

Local underground 1/2 game some years back.

A 3way all in with 2 kings on board. All 3 players had a king in their hand. That's right, there were 5 kings in the deck. Hand was declared dead, all money returned back out of the pot to the rightful owners.

A lot of heated discussion after that about all the previous hands.

This same game was held up by a gang of Samoans with shotguns a few months later. I wasn't there for that one. Game was disbanded after that.

Guy arguing with wife about playing poker. She wanted him to leave. Heated argument. Then two minutes later he won bad beat jackpot for 16K. She was jumping up and down.

I play in Wendover NV, boarder town with Utah and games generally full of tight regs and occasional drunks. Early one morning, in a 1/2 NLHE game I'm in between a drunk poker dealer playing and two regs (his customers). We're all donking around, drinking etc. Big hand breaks out between reg 1 and my dealer pal. Action every street, pot around 5-600. River brings a straight on the board. Dealer pushes, reg1 tanks, talking through the hand to himself. Finally his buddy, reg2 says "there's a straight on the board, just call". 3-2-1 blastoff. Dealers on his feet stepping over me to grab reg2. "One player per hand, whats wrong with you you ******". To this reg1 jumps up and gets into it with the dealer player. My dealer pal shoves reg 1, who falls back and hammers his head on the rail behind him. That's assault far as I know. Reg 1 has floor call cops, but as we're waiting has second thoughts and tells the dealer/player he's not pressing charges. We all know each other and play together etc. So the cops show and in the process of taking statements they find that reg1 has warrants. Off he goes in handcuffs! Back at the table we order jaggerbombs from our waitress.

Probably in the mid-2000s, I was in Vegas and happened to play at Excalibur.

At that time, they had a big wheel to spin for aces cracked. Just as I get ready to spin, there's some yelling and a huge commotion in the poker room.

Turns out some guy reached across the rail (to a different table from where I'd been seated) and cracked a player across the head with a beer bottle.

Naturally, staff, security, etc descend on that area. Poor guy's bleeding, but I guess was o.k. I hang out waiting my turn to spin. Unfortunately, didn't think quickly enough to set it on the big prize and remind them that "I just spun as all the excitement was starting, so let's have my prize."

Playing 1/2 in a local midwest casino, a guy I'll call GVG (Gravelly Voice Guy), a tight semi reg wearing nice harley jacket, starts telling stories after a few drinks. One of which was how some guy stole quite a bit of money from GVG's bar, and after being unsuccessful in trying to get it back, GVG found out who the guy's weed dealer was. So GVG persuades weed dealer to sell some specially prepared stuff to the lowlife thief. GVG laces the MJ with POISON IVY!! Put the guy in the hospital for a while. And GVG sends him a dozen roses with a note saying, "Roses are red, violets are blue, you mess with me, I mess with you." After a bit of silent shock at the table, I say "remind me not to suck out on you, sir". And yes, GVG got his money back, he said.

This was at Commerce casino. I showed up in the AM and after an hour or so, a skinny asian kid ( he couldn't have weighed 100 lbs) was at the table behind me screaming "Deal the cards ! Deal the cards !"

Apparently, he was finally dealt aces after playing and losing all night. Unfortunately for him, it was a mis-deal. He wasn't giving up those aces for anything, so he just kept screaming :"Deal !"

The table was cleared except for the Skinny asian kid. 2 enormous security guys showed up and stood on either side of the kid and just patiently waited. I will never forget the sight of those 2 monsters standing there with their hands folded and this kid just sitting there alone.

After about 10 minutes he got up and was escorted to an office and after a few minutes was escorted out the door.

Playing 1/2 at my local casino, there was one guy at my table who, whenever he wasn't in a hand, would lean back on the back legs of his chair. Finally, after a couple hours of this, he lost his balance and fell backwards onto the floor. Without missing a beat, our dealer yelled out, "Player down, table seven!"

In a tournament I was in the SB and it folded round to me.

I heard the BB say to his friend he had Doyle Brunsons hand
I move all in with 72 and he folds

He then tells me what he had and asks if I knew what it was

I think you could have made more money by minraising

I was hoping this story would end with your buddy actually holding the nut straight and his explosion was just a level to get the call.

Limit game at the Tropicana in AC. Drunk player sits down around one in the morning with a couple of racks and immediately orders another drink, the first of several. He plays every single hand, usually raising preflop, and soon stops looking at his hand (or even pretending to) until the showdown. (He was having a good time until his inevitable one-drink-too-many, so we didn't feel as guilty about this as perhaps we should have. Anyway.)

Pretty much every hand turns into one opponent three-betting the drunk guy (DG) and getting heads-up, then calling/raising every street. At showdown DG would turn over his rags, and one of us would pull in another pot.

Except for one impressively unlucky player who absolutely could not beat DG. Each time they were in a hand together the DG would turn over the winner, two pair or a straight, and Mr. Unlucky would start muttering. I think DG won four or five hands all night and they were all against this one player, who was clearly going crazy.

On the last hand between them Mr. Unlucky turns over aces, and (after a delay and eventually some prodding from the dealer), DG turns over a flush, at which point Mr. Unlucky explodes from the room, screaming. DG doesn't move, and we tell him that he won the pot. He's quiet for a bit, then tells the dealer he needs to go; the dealer calls the floor for assistance, and about five of us beat DG to the cashier's window.