I swear i've seen this exact post in another thread

You have.

This is definitely 1 of the best threads I have ever read.........

So I will have to share a story I witnessed that's more bizarre then funny..............

Back-Story:
I live in a small rural college town in a state where there are no casinos, card-rooms, horse-racing, or even liquor sales on Sunday.(Hardcore Bible-belt)
So degenerate gamblers have to play at private home-games or a couple of the local "casinos". There are a couple of regular Hold'em games.
You have the High stakes "Steak" game (The name is because the wife of the guy who runs it will cook steaks and potatoes for the players twice a month.)
A couple of dorm games with the college kids.
The Businessman's game (The name should be self explanatory)........
and finally the "Hood" game. And you guessed it....its in the ghetto in the backroom of a pool-hall(they have craps too).

It all started on a Friday at around 5-6pm if I remember correctly. I hadn't played in the "Hood" game in months going on a year. When my friend "Rasta-Ray" who was at my house dropping off some "Green". He started telling me about this guy who came into town a week ago to visit family. This guy "Doc" has been spending his time just giving his money away at the table. So "Rasta-Ray" says " I'm leaving here and going over there now. Want to come and maybe sit in?" So with nothing to do that Friday night I said "Sure". Now the "Hood" game has 5 spots open for regulars and they leave 4 spots open for local fish and for college kids that wander in to take on some of the old-timers. We arrive and walk to the back-room. I say "Hello" to all the people I know and chat it up because I hadn't been there in a longtime. After "Rasta-Ray" sits down, there are no more "Regs" seats left, so I have to wait. I belly up to the bar and order "a beer and a shot" and watch an old-friend of mine play 9-ball. So there is only "Rasta-Ray", the new guy they called him "Doc", 4 of the old "Regs", two fish I didn't recognize, and this young-short skinny black guy we all called "Cracky-Chuck". An hour goes by, and I am playing the owner "Pinkie"(Yes-real name, Yes-he drives a Cadillac, and Yes-he used to be a Pimp) in a game of 9-ball($5 a game) to kill time. When the dealer says "Big-Pot over here". I walk over to the table. The new guy "Doc" and "Cracky-Chuck" have gone all-in on the flop.
"Doc" has A K
"Cracky-Chuck" has J 10
Flop was A-K-Q
Turn was a blank 2
Dealer turns over river and it's a A

"Doc" smiles and collects the chips. "Cracky-Chuck" sits there with his head in his hands. Saying "I'm dead"-"I'm dead"-"I'm dead"-"She is going to f*ckin kill me"-"She is going to f*ckin kill me"-"She is going to f*ckin kill me" over and over again.
He gets up and just says "Thanks guys" and leaves the pool-hall.
I sit down. An hour pasts and I win about a $200 bucks from "Doc".
When all of a sudden "Cracky-Chuck" runs back in wearing only his boxers sweating like crazy saying over and over again. "Please give back my $400 , Doc"!-"Please, Please"-"She is coming!"-"She is coming!" and "She is f*ckin Pissed!!

"Cracky-Chuck" turns and looks at the door. So I turned to look at the door and saw the biggest, nastiest, meanest, looking 400+pound black girl I have ever seen come storming in.
"Where is the son of bitch??!" she screams. "Cracky-Chuck" points at "Doc" and says "That's the guy right there!"

Black girl walks right over to the guy and says "Give me my husband's $400, NOW!!!!"
"Doc" says " He lost it fair and square."
Black girl says " He was suppose to pay bills with his check not play POKER!!!"
"Well I'm sorry but I am not giving his money back" says "Doc"
Black Girl takes out a pair of Brass-Knuckles(No f*cking joke) and puts it on her left hand and then pulls out a Knife(I'm talking Crocodile Dundee knife, hell you could say it was a sword) in her right hand and she leans in and says "Give me my Husbands money or I will F*CKIN CUT OFF YOUR DICK AND BALLS AND EAT THEM!!!!!"
Right after she said that she licked the knife.SHE LICKED THE KNIFE!!!!(sword)
I said "Wow" or "Holy sh*t" and grabbed my money off the table and looked over at "Rasta-Ray" who has already made it to the door.
"Doc" just sat there and didn't move. I swear I was about to see someone get castrated in front of me.
"Pinkie" comes out of his office and says "Let her have the money, she is serious!"
Black Girl reaches down and grabs about $500 off "Doc"'s stack and stuffs it in her pocket.

She walks over to the door and says to everyone "See you guys at church on Sunday."

Apparently for 4 weeks in a row "Cracky-Chuck" would cash his paycheck on Fridays then lose it all and his wife had told him to stop playing poker.

That was the last time I played at the "Hood" game.......memories!
Sorry for the story being a little long, but I thought I had to include all the details.

I had a fun one last night. I open JTo in lp and over aggrotard in teh bb calls.

Flop is A87, check, bet, call

Turn is T, check, check

River 6, bet 50, I shove, bb calls snap calls.

I announce str8 thinking the 6 was a 9, I really need to get some new glasses, villain says, "2 pair". Villain turns over......JT and thought he had T9 and I guess he thought the river was a 9.

So we chop a $400 pot when we both misread our hands, however had villain not misread his hand he might've folded.

This won't be classified as funny, or weird, but sad:

Ambulance comes in , people are screaming and shouting because
one of the older players who played a 3/6 Limit game in my card room just suddenly died...

Bump.

Best thread I've seen on 2+2..

Some guy raised in EP got a bunch of callers, the last of which was a husky black guy who was the biggest calling station I had ever seen. Anyways, initial raiser bets a J73 flop and gets folded to the black guy. He says in the most stereotypical black mans voice "wrong kullah, i needed teh black ones" and then pulls a banana out of his pocket, peels it, and gulps it all in one bite. Excuse the implied/borderline racism, but this was the funniest thing I've ever seen... I had to get a table change to keep from laughing.

Had a strange thing happen today.

It's about 2pm, there's ten tables or so running a wide spread -- there's a tournament going on, some 2/4 limit, some 1/2, 2/5 and 5/5 NL, and a short-handed 5/5 PLO table. The poker room was just renovated a week ago, so that the entrance and desk is at the other end and there's some more tables added. Anyway, someone goes out the old entrance, which is now a fire exit. BEEP BEEP BEEP alarm goes off and it goes on for 15 minutes. Of course, it's hard to concentrate so the tables break up and it doesn't take long before the bustling room is almost empty.

The only people left? The tourney players, of course, and the 2/4 limit players. Of course it's to be expected, I don't think an earthquake would break the limit table.

You never know when the BBJ is going to hit.

About a year ago, I was playing in a $1-$2 game at the local casino. Player A was A guy who was just a total di€k. Berating players that suck out on him, letting everyone know how good he is, if someone beat him out of a pot he would say things like "you're so lucky, how could you play those cards, such an idiot" but he played the same hand the exact same way, he was a genius, etc. Player B was just a regular guy, who seemed to be a fairly solid player.

During one hand, Player A raises pre flop, and gets one caller, which is Player B. Flop comes Jh-10h-7s. Player A checks, Player B bets ~ 1/3 of pot, A calls. Turn is 7c. A checks, B bets ~1/3 again, A calls. River is 4d. Again, a checks. This time B bets ~ 2/3 of the pot. A begins thinking out loud "I know you're bluffing. I just know it. I have you beat for sure." So he puts in the chips for the call. Player B sighs, and says "nice call buddy." Player A let's out a big "Wooh!" with a big clap. As B starts sliding his cards towards the muck, Player A, who felt winning the pot just wasn't enough, says "I want to see his hand, show me his hand." Well the dealer tables the hand, Ah-4h. Out of nowhere Player A screams "MOTHER ****ER!" and slams his fist onto the table hard enough to splash another players drink that was in the cup holder onto the table. Everyone seems a little confused. Until A tables his hand, 3c-3s! B who was on a bluff after missing the flush, had actually made the best hand with a pair of 4's on the river! Had A just kept his mouth shut and let B muck, he would have taken the pot with the worst hand, but he had to try to humiliate Player B by making him show his hand. All the other players at the table just sat in silence for about 4 or 5 seconds, then one guy just burst into laughter, causing the rest of the table to follow suit. One of the funniest things I've ever seen at the table.

So what you are saying is that you upset a rich mega fish that you could potentially have taken for several hundred $ at least, for a 50$ bet?

You had to quote an entire, full-page-plus post from a year and a half ago to make that observation?

This guy checked to the dealer and the dealer was interrupted by the floor so he started "scratching" an invisible record player going

checkcheckcheckcheckchchchchchcheckcheck

About a year ago playing 1-2 plo8 at Foxwoods. Game was not as regular as it now. Game starts around 3 in the afternoon, ran full table and deep deep stacks until around midnight.

Guy sits down at midnight in the 10 seat, buys in for the max ($300), and proceeded to rebuy between 12 to 15 times before 6am. He was not sure how the low worked!!! Usually no one would ever give tips on how a game is played, but we had to explain how there needed to be three UNPAIRED cards on the board for there to be a low. Had to explain if he had A-2 on a 258JJ he was counterfieted and had no low etc...

There must have been 10k on the table, and a list of 15 names to get in the game, when it was unusual to even have the game running. The pros in the room that you always see lurking for juicy tables, who never would hop into a plo8 game were salivating as they railed the game.

I was in the 3 seat, the guy in the 5 seat was raising blind to $10, because more times than not, the 10 seat was potting, and with what he was shoving with, if you had anything close to decent, you had to call, so we were playing 1-2 pot limit with most hands having $200-$300 preflop.

Between 3 and 5 am, i don't think i saw 2 flops. The guy in the 2 seat was just as card dead. It was comical how we were crying on each other shoulders for 2 straight hours that we could not get involved in any hands. He finally got fed up and said he couldn't take it anymore, watching what was getting played, and what hands were winning. I finally got hot a ran my $200 into about 2k.

Being Omaha, the 10 seat was occationally getting his $300 in preflop against multiple players, scooping, and would go from $300 to 1,200 to 1,500 in one hand, which would really get the table crazy.

Now it's 5 am, we still have a list for the game, but if the 10 seat leaves, the whole table would have gotten up and left. If was the only time I understood what the pros mean by you don't get up when you win x amount, you only get up when the game is no longer good. Dealer shift at 5, first hand with new dealer, seat 5 raises blind to $10 many callers including 10 seat. $70 in pot. Flop comes, 6 or 7 seat bets pot, action to the 10 seat. Looks down, "where are my cards?" Dealer had scooped them into the muck. 10 seat goes ape. I mean he was already into the game for at least 3k, so his mood could not have been too good, but he went over the top. and the dealer starts giving it right back. Think Billy Martin going nose to nose with Lou Pinella. Dealer is screaming FLOOR, then getting back into it with the 10 seat. Now every other player at the table, knowing the dealer is absolutly correct to have the floor come and escort this guy out of the room, is thinking, we can't let this guy go. Half the players offered the 10 seat his preflop money back, the other half are trying to calm the dealer down (being his first hand he had no idea if this guy leaves, he is sitting at a dead spread). Floor comes over, and now the dealer Knows what's up and tells the floor everything is ok. Every player flipped the 10 seat a red bird, which placated him a little bit, but it was the craziest thing.

One other side note. He had hit the atm a couple of times between 3 and 5. Each time he left we played normally for about 15 minutes until he came back, since if he was done, that was it. Finally around 6 he is felted again. He leaves and we play a few hands, not sure if he is coming back. Finally he returns, now you have to be old to remember this, but there used to be a commercial with character actor Jack Guilford. He was like in a kiosk selling candy on the boardwalk, and a kid came up to buy a box of crackerjack, and the kid emptied his pocket of loose change, a button, a superball, and a whole mess of lint etc... This guy did the same thing, he came back with a bunch of wadded up ones fives and tens, like they had just gone throw the wash with his pants. Bought in for $86. First hand, 7 way pot, he was all in for the $86, lost and left. Game broke 5 minutes later.

LOL^. "I HAS NO CARDZ? I DON'T GIVE A ****, RAISE POT!"

Wasn't at the table for this one but was in a bigger game nearby.

$2/4 FR, youngish guy is standing for a showdown which was his AI. River hits and whatever it was it must have beaten him because he gets all frustrated and throws his hands up.

Guy is getting ready to leave when he changes his mind and storms back to the table and pulls out a $5 bill. He proceeds to throw it on the table and yells "rebuy for five dollars!" The dealer politely tells him that the min BI for the game is $20 (which is lolow anyway). Guy gets red in the face and screams "JUST ****ING GIVE IT TO ME!"

Dealer is ready to call floor when guy grabs his $5 and storms off.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mwq_x9QsLzg
(Because it is quite important to understanding the story. Ahhh... memories.)

Yesterday I saw a player refused a table change. He was at a 2/4 table, and asked to move to the other 2/4 table. He was told "no". Why? "Because four players at that table have said they will leave if I let you move there." This player replies "isn't that really their problem, not mine?" Floor's answer was that he was simply looking out for the best interests of the room, and letting him change tables would cause the table to break, so he just wasn't going to allow it.

This player was known for violating the unspoken rules of the aces-cracked 2/4 table--thou shalt never raise. And the floor decided to go along with this collusion by preventing a player from playing at the table of his choosing, simply because he would play more aggressively than some of the players would prefer.

Not funny at all. But pretty weird.

A few months ago I was visiting a Casino in Canada, where the minimum gambling age is 18 years. A kid, who was celebrating his 18th birthday with buddies sat at the poker table next to mine and bought in for the $60 table minimum. A few hands later he went all in for his last $20 preflop with JJ. Board came out to AAJxx. The minimum qualifying hand for BBJ was Aces full of jacks and another guy at the table had AA.
Kid walks out with 50% of $141,000 tax free within minutes of sitting down at his first live game at a casino.

How did he manage to do this without a BBJ-qualifying hand?

This!

Lol I read his post about 15 times to make sure I wasn't missing something.

My bad. This was a while back and I wasn't sitting on that table. I believe the kid had AA and the other guy had JJ. Board came AJJxx.

Either way he made $70K which was a nice b'day present for a first timer.

EPICNESS!!!