countdown before the kids !

lol at all the ppl saying he's spoiling her...on his income he couldn't even if he wanted to...yes he bought her **** before....but weddings are important to women, so if she wanted ******ed clothes for her dogs...oh well...its 1k baht...ain't exactly gonna make a ***** difference at this point...

Wow op, sick update, please keep up posting.

Wish you the best now that you chosen this road but please please make sure the girl and her family is for real, not scamming you and ****. You know how these mother****ers look at falangs like their ticket to riches.

Ridic thread but dont know where else to ask it.

Euro countries mostly had and have a http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dowry system where wife's family set aside money and property for the new family (in wife's name but she aint getting **** unless husband dies). As i understand it, basically a payment for taking the girl off the family's hands since women didnt do the kind of work that outwardly made the family money. But in Thailand and apparently other places in Asia, the groom pays the brides family a fee. Returned routinely modernly i guess but i can imagine the amount you get for your daughter is a bragging point for fathers. But obv this practice came about for some reason.

So in case we have any scholars here, anyone know why these two cultures developed seemingly opposite ways of marrying off daughters.

It's not very often I literally LOL when reading on the internet.

It's just a few words structured into a certain order, OMG I can barely breathe!!

Not hating on you OP, I wish you the best but I'm just losing it reading this phrase.

not an expert on this, but my understanding it's symbolic in nature and offered to the wifes parents as a tribute to how well they brought her up.

Amount is higher for education, virginity and social status. basically a bragging rights thing for the family of the bride. Also a symbol of how well financially the husband is. So rich guys marrying rich women means big payments etc. "look how much we were given for our daughter!!!" Big numbers reflect well on the girl, her parents and her future husband.

I'm pretty sure as someone already said it's purely symbolic these days and would be returned after the ceremony. Not sure in the case of Thai girls marrying foreigners though, probably a decent chance they expect to keep it.

Supply and demand. Few eligible (high value) women, bride price. Few eligible men, dowry. Sometimes the same culture will practice both at the same time.

Bride price is generally paid according to the perceived value of the girl. From the numbers given, it's not outrageous without additional info, but yeah, this is not how it's supposed to work in this case, there's something definitely wrong, but OP will ignore that, along with all other advice given anyways.

In Thailand, giving a bride price without understanding how it is supposed to really work ranks up there with people randomly wai'ing everybody they meet and thinking they understand the culture.

I warned you about sinsod earlier in the thread. To not get yourself in any unwanted suprises. Seems to me you got completely suckered in and needed your dad to bail you out to statisfy her family.

As for her family they are probably just curious and them being poor people they think every foreigner is filthy rich and will pay an exorbitant amount of sinsod. They just want to gossip with the rest of the family/village.

About the gold. Make sure it is returned to you and it might be a good idea to talk to your girlfriend that you want to sell it again quickly. You will lose maybe a couple k on the rates. Talk with your dad about paying him back or hopefully you can keep it as a gift.

Are you only looking to have a traditional ceremony? Or are you actually going to the amphur and have your wedding legalized?

And for the people thinking paying dowry is outrageous. It's a thai tradition. I have been to a couple of Thai weddings and always have there been a couple 100k in dowry paid aswell as a brand new car for the bride.

First what's wai'ing.

Thanks for actually answering my question. So depending on the marriage and the class and standing of each family there could either be a dowry or a bride price depending on how the negotiations go? And it's mostly for ceremony/face because "Asian cultures" value tradition and appearance more than western?

Someone mentioned guests bringing money? Is this standard instead of gifts or dependent on the family or what?

Speaking of family, OP, does your family know youre getting married and will they be attending? Sorry if you posted and i missed.

**** OP you seem like your fam is prob loaded. Flip this bitch around and get a roll for 15s.

Bringing money is normal and more appreciated then gifts. Normally there will be a box at the entrance where you can put in your envelop with money. 500-1000(15-30$) Is normal if you aren't close family to the bride or groom.

Wai'ing is a way to say hello or thank you in Thailand. It's a way to show respect. You put your hands together in front of your face. When you are introduced to new people you should wai them. You should initiate a Wai to people older then you. IE you should always wai parents or older family members. Teenagers (12-18) you can wai the first time, after no need to wai them or return a wai, nodding back and saying hello is enough.

Store clerks, hotel receptionists or other service people will often wai you after you finished your transaction. No need to wai them back.

Money over gifts; thats my kind of people.

So Wa'ing somewhat similar (but obv different) to Japanese bowing?

As in everything, the answer is, it depends.

You can argue there used to be, and in some cases, still is a reason for dowry and bride price (showing you can afford to get married, support your wife, worthy of your husband, etc).

Nowadays, I would say its more tradition than face saving. In cases where the families are equally wealthy (or equally poor as may be the case), the money used as the bride price/dowry is returned to the family or to the couple for their future. Ie, dowry paid to the husband's family is then given as the marriage gift to the couple.

However, the marriages I have seen have never involved a poor white guy with a poor thai girl, so my own experiences may not be as telling. But, I will say that my Thai relatives think that this is ridiculous!

A lot of guests will give an amount of money, usually enough to cover their individual costs of the banquet at a minimum. It's more standard than giving gifts, although the newer generation will be more modern and bring gifts, western style.

A wai is a traditional thai greeting. The definition is not putting your hands in front of your face. Who you wai, how you perform it, is very situational and I advise never to do it unless you know what and why. You are better off saying hello and giving a genuine smile. If somebody of higher social or economic rank than you wais you, then you may choose to mimic them EXACTLY in response, although I still think you are better off greeting them with a genuine smile.

You should never initiate a wai with somebody younger than you. This is completely incorrect.

This pic has to get the haters mad, love it. Dogs ballin outta control.

Also these foreigners wai'ing bargirls, it smacks of ignorance... I think that the closer you hold your hands together to your forehead represents more respect than holding it under your chin also how low you bow when you wai is part of the respect thing. For instance wai'ing the king would be a very low bow with hands clasped high by your forehead. I think this is how it goes... As for op, well I won't dump on him I mean at the end of the day were talking about 4 grand in total right? also OP just remember with that kid taking a piss, it's his house and his country he can do whatever he wants as a thai, get used to that...

A bunch of haters. Dowry/bride price has been practice during the Roman Empire period, when Genghis Khan was in power. It is practiced all across the middle east as well as Africa. I know the first thing that comes to people's mind when it comes to these girls is that there is a scam. In the beginning it was all OPs fault by buying her all the expensive gadgets. Don't blame her for accepting them. We already know that she pawn her electronics and we know that the girls mother has given them money to help out on food. How is this scamming if OP give the appearance that he is dirt poor?

A robber isn't going to break into a poor/dirty looking house and hope to find gold.

Can you actually read the replies? Theres rules concerning this and OP isnt following them, he's following the bargirl scam dowry rules.

FFS he's been with his gf for a year and already he has to give them soo much ****. I have been with my thai wife for more than 6 years and her family lost everything and i have yet to hear about anything over a 3$ loan. In fact when i have money issues i have had major loans from them even though they have nothing(house burned down, business stolen).

If i had a gift for them during a wedding they would tell me to stfu and take it back right away. Thais are proud people and only leeches and tuktuk drivers will willingly accept handouts in public. (dont confuse yourself, a dowry isnt a handout : in OP's case he isnt supposed to give a dowry)

OP's gf family only hope that one day they will get his parent's money, its very easy to see. Girl is ugly and they are trying to make this happen as fast as possible because they know she isnt worth any dowry to thai man yet a great looking/educated thai woman from a poor family could easily get 150-500k$ from a decently wealthy thai man as a main wife or even just as a on the side lifetime girlfriend. (Again i speak from experience, i know a few of those girls)

We're all hoping op wakes up and understand that he could **** up his life. There's no more than a 10% chance that this ends well.

lol his dowry is 30-50K bhat. They aren't asking for 50 thousand dollars. Yes Thai are proud people and they would like to see their daughter married to someone who can take care of her. The dowry is just for show. and will be returned to the couple after the marriage. .... So instead of the Thai girl scamming you your scamming them since you say you borrow from them and they never borrow from you?

You're clearly at a 1st grade reading level /done

Whatever, really. Even if its part of a culture, its still dumb and ******ed, more likely nonsense. This is not traffic human or something, so paying for this type of thing, makes it like wise, w/e.

And, if he denies to pay that whole **** to her family, what happens? Also, as you might've noticed, he is goin to give them $100k and is getting $50k back only.

EPIC THREAD. can't wait for an update in a year from now when OP is back in europe, whining about how everything went wrong.

I read the story..Is this is for real ?It was entertaining for sure :-)

As I mentioned dowries and bride prices have been practiced by the Roman empire as well as the rest of the European countries. So if it's a ******ed culture then your culture belongs in that category. The only country that I have not heard about or read about is the United states.... nit including the American Indians which have practice the same tradition.

In b4 runaway bride

just ignore that guy, imo. he's just too ignorant and can only think in terms of his own ideas