Serious off topic question, how do you have a misspelling in a copy pasted quote?

I accidentally deleted some letters while trying to copy and thought I added them back.

If it makes you feel any better, most people are reenacting early relationship experiences to a certain extent.

Unfortunately, your early experiences were so dysfunctional that you essentially never learned what a real, healthy, functioning adult relationship should look like. You've been doing your best to try to cobble something together, but you lack certain tools. I believe it would do you good to be alone (meaning not in a romantic relationship, not alone alone) while you develop a stronger sense of yourself and healthy boundaries/expectations, but I suspect the mere idea of that is terrifying for you. Code is not the answer, though. No matter how many times you've heard that, I wonder when or even if you will ever fully embrace that.

I sure changed and grew a lot when I stopped dating for 6+ years after 3 serious, dysfunctional, multi-year relationships.

Obviously that's extreme and not what anyone is advocating. But some time to work on/learn about yourself is really a blessing as an adult.

Lololol
LL reaching hard for justification.

And exiling Toothsayer at the same time so it appears he is not picking on me.

I just don't know what I would do with myself being alone.

Before I was married and during my marriage, I was always in school and working full time. I had no time.

Now, I just don't know what I would do on the weekends and I feel like I would be depressed and just stay in bed all day if my daughter was with her dad.

You'd figure it out. Your happiness cannot and should not depend on another person. You must be enough for you before you can be enough for someone else.

I talked to you over a year ago about finding hobbies.

Who knows? Books on tape and a treadmill mebbe? Cooking classes, etc, etc.

Frees you up to be choosy. 1.5-2 years from now you could be in such a great place mentally and physically with some new found interests.

When you ponder what to do moving forward, just realize that you going through all this emotional torture that you've posted about across multiple forums for multiple years is due to you not wanting to be bored.

Kinda undercuts your role as a sympathetic figure. You're filling a void with emotional turmoil as something to pass the time. I posted this 5+ months ago itt:

This is excellent advice.

You go girl!

I missed this post earlier. I never respond when you post this because it hurts so bad to think about it.

I had my daughters birthday party this past weekend. His brothers dad was in the hospital, so he didn't participate in the birthday and left right after to rush and be with his brother. Seeing him doing this when a week before my own life was in danger and he didn't even want to make a phone call much less consider coming to me hurts me so bad. I've been thinking about it and hurting all week. I just want to put it out of my mind.

How much more evidence do you need?


Btw, that was a fairly decent string of positive posts!

I just hate the constant reminder that I'm lowest priority.

I hate that I was upset throughout my daughters party as well and I didn't let myself enjoy her and give her the attention I should have.

M,

Your daughter didn't get the attention she deserved because of Code.

Think about that, and think about your priorities.

Lots of good posts and advice above.

Think about why you try so hard to stay with someone who consistently treats you the way Code does.

If you decide you deserve better, then figure out what you need to do with yourself to be successful at that.

As for being bored - spend more time doing activities with your daughter, learn to cook, learn a language, read more books, play more poker, watch some movies. I'm sure you've many times thought "I wish I had the time to do x." Do that stuff.

In the battle between my ex-girlfriend's daughter's birthday party versus my dad being in the hospital, the latter wins easily. WTF @ thinking it could go any other way.

Of course someone would misread that.....or would troll me so I would of course have to make this post uggh.
His brother's dad, not code's own father. I'm not sure if he even knows him, so he was only really going in support of his brother at the request of his sister. I'm not saying anything about him supporting his brother, I'm talking about his lack of support for me displayed in a much more critical situation.


Anyway, thanks for all the responses.
I'm not ignoring anyone or disregarding what anyone has said, I just need to not discuss this any further ATM.

I understand and know these things:

Code 3 is not good for me.

He will never change, he will never acknowledge my feelings.

He will never support me or give me any type of reaction or comfort I need. a

His priorities will never change. I'm not at the top of them and never will be.

My therapist is working on getting me to a point where I'm not terrified to leave him and be alone.

What does your therapist think about you communicating with Code like this via 2p2 posts?

Sounds like you're gonna be getting a new therapist soon

This thread is now for happy, positive, healthy posting.

Just to make sure this doesn't get glossed over, quoting again.

Almost everyone has the above thought about one or more things, and almost nobody truly lacks the time except by choice.

Haven't talked about it because I already know that I do it as a futile attempt to get him to listen to me and acknowledge that I'm hurt. Me posting here has never helped achieve that and I had already decided I was going to stop trying.

Like RJ said that I don't have healthy boundaries and was never able to develope them. She is currently working on boundaries with me. For example, code 3 knows I can't bring myself to leave him so he says whatever he wants to me and makes everything on his terms he has all the power. We are working on me gaining the power to not accept things that hurt me and basically put my foot down.
Like this weekend, he told me I was unattractive again. Instead of telling him that is unacceptable I unsuccessfully tried again to get him to understand that it hurts my feelings instead of setting a boundary and not allowing him to say that to me in the first place.

I'm completely pathetic right now, and when he says things like this, I'm all like " That hurts my feelings please care" instead of "I don't know who think your talking to, but you aren't going to tell me I'm unattractive. See ya"

MLYLT,

Do you know how to play chess?

Learning the royal game or improving at it could be a lot of fun.

You said code's brother, not code's step-brother or half-brother. I neither misread nor was I trolling.

Continuing to say this doesn't make it true. What actually happened.

Didn't participate? What does that mean? I was there the whole time and "participated" as much as anyone else. I left when it was over, same as everyone else. I guess I should have told him to hold off and die the next day so I wouldn't be distracted and you would feel supported. How do you even post something like this?

Lol, looks like MLY is making stuff up again to discredit Code. SAD