Friends are the problem. If it's an open and carefree group, that's normal interaction.

Thanks for the advice guys, in hindsight I shouldn't have said anything. Just wanted a second opinion at the time for some reason.

Yeah think I'll probably go for it tbh.

I dunno,I would have said the "friends" were nuts and to go for it.....but then I had something similar happen Friday.
I thought I was getting the vibe from a girl,ask if she wants to do something on Friday, she snap gives me her # and tells me to text to finalize.
I text her about a concert for a band she likes and she texts back about having to work.
Then goes silent.
She doesn't go to work Friday but I saw her Saturday night and she is just as friendly as ever.

Oh heck, just go for it.
I'm an optimist.

Going back and reading this thread from earlier years is the gift that keeps on giving. Lazytops5 (tony) was at the tender age of 19 when he started posting itt in 2010, crazy.

question: do these friends know the girl? and just for kicks, what was your "plan"? I don't see a problem with running your plan across people, especially if they know her.

Yeah the friends know the girl well. Plan was just a way of saying I was gonna ask her out
I think it's ok with you're close mate(s) just don't think they really needed to know, what were they gonna say? They could've only really put a dampener on me

Yeah I love going back and randomly re reading a couple pages of this thread at a time, 19 was a fun age, I'm an old now.

Also I wonder if Turn Up The Sun is still Asking out girls?

In that case...just don't do/say anything that will come across as cheesy/inauthentic and you'll be fine. hopefully it doesn't mess up the dynamics of your group of friends if she rejects you.

That's why what they said put me off a little, It's kinda annoying caus if I hadn't said anything to them I think id be in a decent situation

TR from Saturday:

Went to dinner with SDSU. It basically just seemed like an excuse for a regular date. Told her the same stuff I posted itt about why I reacted that way at the pool. Awkward moment as we leave I'm like Welp your friends are at the bar down to the right so I'll let you meetup with them. She's says uhh actually they're right there and points to my left. So we have a weird goodbye kiss infront of everyone since I don't think she necessarily wanted ppl to know we had dinner.

I go to the liquor store and buy an overpriced bottle of grey goose and OJ since that's what my friend wanted for his birthday. The girl with the blue hair was waiting in her car around the place. Her face was a little more manly than I remembered. Well her chin at least. And it was obvious she had a lot of makeup but she was still attractive and in a good black dress. Her friend wasn't very hot. Walk into the birthday thing and it's just 4 dudes hanging out. My friend lost his ID recently so after getting drunk me and one of the guys went to a bar with the two girls.

I dropped my phone in a toilet on accident and after being completely in water it still worked. Only thing worth mentioning was a moment that was like out of a movie. So I'm sitting on these benches on the outside bar with the girl. Looking like a couple, but still surveying the bar. Then I start eye ****ing one girl who is dancing in a group of 4. I kind of just owned it and made it extremely noticeable since I had nothing to lose. If I was by myself probably wouldn't have gotten the reaction it did with the other girl on me. Eventually the girl sits right next to me. And did it in a way that it was a statement not casual could be a coincidence at all. I think I laughed and said hi but that's it. Then I purposely and very dramatically switched my legs from the right resting on the left to the opposite so my foot touched her leg.

My girl saw what was going on and started engaging me for my attention. The other girl's friends came up and told her they're going to go. So she said to me "I'm leaving... Bye..." And rubbed her hand on my chest.

She was better than the girl I was with and I don't see anything long term with the blue hair girl so I like waited 7 Mississippis and was going to go after her for a number. My girl helped by saying she's going to grab a drink. So I said ok I'm going to use the bathroom then I'll meet you. Bathroom was before the bar so I had to go in. I pissed and checked my phone and that's when I dropped it in the toilet. By the time I air dried it the girl was gone.

Brought the blue hair girl back to my place, ****ed her., filmed some of it (she was aware I was) but haven't watched it. I dropped her off in the morning and replied to SDSU's text from the night before her telling me to come over. She heard about the phone in the toilet from mutual friends so she assumed it wasn't working. Brought her in n out burgers and hungout with her all day. Was on the couch and it was close to progressing to sex a few times but I hadn't showered so I didn't feel comfortable ****ing her after the last one. Eventually she's like woah I just got a wiff of alcohol either off you or your shirt. So I used that as a non sketchy way to say I'm going to shower. And glad I did because it turns out the last girl started her period during morning sex and I had dried blood on my dick.

Hungout with SDSU girl all day and it was really nice. Watched Entourage, modern family, Silicon Valley, some show called the loners. And then rented Gone Girl which was a great movie but my hungover anxiety started to make my head think about all types of weird stuff like fake pregnancies etc. for anyone unaware it kind of has an anti women theme.

Mikey,

What Sosa said. Your friends seem strange and I agree that most people just give horrible advice but they do have an unbiased view on the situation, which is in their favor.

The problem I have is you are making a really big deal about making a move, "asking her out" etc. I'm old and wifed up now but back in the day I did have a mixed group that a lot of hooking up went on in. I never tried to make a big deal about making a move on anyone or telling others about it before I did anything. That's kind of weird imo. If you explicitly ask and get rejected that can mess up the dynamic of the group and make things awkward.

What you want to do is physically escalate/flirt and work with that if she reciprocates. That comes with experience but really you can't be rejected if you play your cards right. Worst thing that can happen is you sense she's not vibing and everything was kept ambiguous so it's cool. If you're not good at reading signals that's something you should work on outside of your friend group before you actually try it in a setting where it could hurt you socially.

ChoKo,

Feel free to PM me if you like, I do live in NYC.

lol'ed at bold

Yeah Gone Girl was extremely intense but a very well done movie although very dark. But makes you think for sure.

One thing I can't get into is binge watching TV shows with my gf, I think cause I can't get into TV series that much, she doesnt either I suppose which is probably why. Although Entourage is top of my list of all the shows people circle jerk around these days

I'll learn from the mistake of this defo made a too big of a deal over it. Normally I'm not like that I just go with the 'if it's a yes great, no move on' kind of attitude. Makes a seem a borderline arrogant **** but hey it works.
Never been in this kind of situation before I think that's why I had such a 15 year old way of doing it. Obviously rejection would mean kinda of awkward with her but in the back of my mind I know that It would've stayed in the group and I think I just panicked :/
I think my main issue is that I'm worried what everyone else will think of me, if I whip out arrogant **** mode then do I want my group seeing me in that way?
All this in my head while slightly intoxicated pulled me down and I said it because I thought I'd get some help/advice. Keeping my mouth shut next time haha.
You're advice on physical flirting is a great idea actually, would be subtle and wouldn't anything to make myself look like a tit.

Great thread by the way and thanks for the responses

Saw a girl 5 times last April/May. Barely kissed the first four dates, it was lame, but she was otherwise cool.
On the 5th date we watched a movie and ended up banging.

Few days later she wants to hang out again but says we need to take it down a lot. We hang out. Nothing happens. I tell her I'm not interested in just having a friend so we stop seeing each other.

September, she messages wishing me happy bday.
The following week, she messages asking if I want to go camping.
Today she just messaged me again commenting on hockey results.
I've had a gf since June. Think ignoring is the play.

I mean, are you even considering any other plays? How could you be? Of course ignoring is the play.

First of all i wanto to say i am argentinian so probably i'll have a lot of mistakes written, so... sorry about that
I have a girl in my class that i like, the problem is that in the 5 classes we had i only said to her 15 ****ing words. I dont know how to even start the flirt. I feel like such a looser. She smiled at me ever i talked to her. Thats a good sign (?)
Help please!!!!

Sent from my GT-S6790L using 2+2 Forums

Cash,

Just ask her if she wants to go get some empanadas with you!

Or tell her you know a bakery with the most delicious alfajores, would she like to check them out sometime?

If that goes well, invite her out for some steak and red wine.

Ez game!

Lazy,


What do you mean by this? I assume you don't mean just that people are more attracted to better looking people?

Jaja la concha de tu madre diabloooo

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Nah not that at all. Just I mean like attractive people generally have better genetics (captian obvious I know) but like they essentially handle stuff like alcohol better or are just attractive with less effort. Generally see a lot of them in the dating scene and social scene. Just something I've notice lately especially with girls being able to drink a lot and still look attractive or guy with good facial aesthetics who don't lift etc

On phone so sorry if it's rambly

http://mindhacks.com/2015/04/28/when...e-rivals-mens/

the 2 plays are:

a) ignoring

b) being a nice guy and sending some form of short reply.


never would meet up with her. i told her in sept i have a gf. assumed that was enough, apparently not. i have nothing against her. she's a nice person, just didn't work out.

Sciolist,

From my social circle I've always felt women are more sexual than men. They just suppress it because lolsociety.

Diamond,

Unless ignoring is the only option, I always respond. Ignoring is a dick move IMO. Nothing wrong with "I'm still with x so count me out. Enjoy the weekend though!"

Yeah I don't see a problem with a short response like above. Just a thank you and that's it. But maybe I'm too nice.

Idk. She knows he has a gf. They aren't friends. And she keeps messaging. Ignoring > responding IMO. Responding may just encourage her to keep prying occasionally.