Originally Posted by rorence
Is this degen enough for you!! So im 18 years old and working for min wage in a video shop and in my first year at uni in bonny old Scotland, ive been a degen gambler since I was 13 but just hadn’t bothered to notice how degen until recently.
Id get paid 500 quid a month and pokies the lot as I was staying with my mum and had no outgoings at all besides smokes and beer, I did pretty well at the 5-20 mtt level but always sucked the **** outa rolls at the 109 or 300 level after scooping maybe 7or8 – 1k in a small mtt. This is b4 all the side game action on the tinterweb, u could literally only blow big doe at shots or big c/g. I was always cashing out pokies money for the casinos and arcades though, being a degen ****.
Anyways, here in lies the rub, im 18 just received 3.5k student loan paid in incrememnts of 1900 – 1100 – 500 at 3 month intervals, the 1st 1900 lasted me 4 hours on a roulette machine in the local bookie along with a new student overdraft of 2800 and a credit card worth 1500 im so screwed its unreal missing class at uni like I wasn’t even their and basically not giving two hoots about anything in life besides clawing some doe back. All I could think of was the devilfish saying that when it all goes ti£ts up theres always the three magic words : stick em up: I was seriously considering this when I had a brainwave of epic proportions. I could log money from the cashouts at work and replace them at weekly intervals or in a oner if I had a good hit, so I started taking 100 – 150 to the local roully machines and puggies and done well replacing said doshies b4 the bank up at the Friday of the week but it wasn’t long till I was stuck 900 from the takings and in serious serious ****, it was Monday and I had till Friday to replace 900 quid literraly now stolen from my works safe, and the monies I owed the local sharkie.
I might have worked in a video shop but an ordinary v shop was this not, we had cheque cashing facilities, sunbeds, deli counter, running trim machines all sorts of bs and the manager was my best mate from school always good. We worked 12 hour graveyard cu*nty shifts 3 days a week each for peanuts but realistically we just arsed around him going home for a sleep for 4 hours a day and me booking or puggying for hours on end. My brainwave was this, in the back shop was a brand new never touched sunbed, that I was positive head office manag****s had no idea about it had laid there for atleast a year and no-one took any notice or said a hot damn thing about it. I could sell that I thought. 3 days later the head o phoned for their usual figures and I slipped in bed 1 10 hours 500 quid wteva the **** eva – bed 3 60 hours and the guy says bed 3 wot bed 3 , bed 2 sorry ofcourse we don’t have any bed 3 wot a tit.
Guy on the phones like getting ahead of yourself buddy, the shops not that big, hahahaha I know m8 you ****ing mug, these ****z had no idea a ****ing 8k bed was lying through the back and I sure as **** now was gonna rob the livig ****e out of these monkeys. So I phone a dodgy pal of a pal who fones a dodgier mate of a dog he once walked etc etc etc and get on the fone with a crazy ass gangster from Glasgow who happens to own a sunbed parlour and has fingers in all pies and all things crooked as a 3 in the morning walk through a black tunnel.
All I have to do is get said bed to newarthill, deliver and pick up cash on demand tally ****i_n ho. So I call my manger/mate and tell him how he likes to make 300 quid for keeping zip shut but he gays on me and just says do wot u want but I don’t want any underhands I have no idea bout this and if u get caught u go down alone. Hokey dockey queerfiend. I phone 3 of my other mates at 200 quid each and we bolster the ****in thing into a seafoods van (friends dads) and off to newarthill we go moonlighting a hijacked sunbed. This could be the funniest and daftest thing ive ever done or will do in my life but its ****in hilarious and we feel like the douches from lock stock and two smoking barrels. Enter gangsters lair in newarthill and he banters me bout where and hows I bull**** him telling him I bolstered it from my old man who has too many beds for a small local shop but to be honest I don’t think hes gonna sweat me too much as the thing is in wrapping and 100 percent wrkn a ok, I jibe that it cost my old man 8.5k 3 weeks ago andi m accepting 5k at a great knock down, he pulls a shoe box and counts 4k saying cheers wee man, I turn to the boys sweating and just say right lads back in the van and lightning quick he stalls – well wot u want I cant pay 5 for it it’s a fkn knock off albeit a belter of a knock off, so I agree that 4k is mine and he squares the Boys 2ton each making it 4.6k not bad when realistically ida accepted 2k hands down simply by thinking about the loanie I owed idda accepted 5oo quid now I think of it. So sorted as we are we head back to my home town and replace the dosh in the work glad as **** I pay off the boys and we drink until were skullsmashed, happy days, loanie paid, work paid and some rubies to fool around with yeefriggininha.
3 weeks later the area manager for the work a small crazy little Italian guy who we called the tazmanian devil cos all he done was walk in smelling of vodka and **** everything up, well he comes into the work and blows out. BOOM wheres that ****in bed that was through the back, its only me on, im screwed, totally screwed ive blown the rest of the dollar I made at being a degen muppet and actually was back into the safe for a mini 100 on this day. I have no choice I need to come clean so I do I tell him no-one knew it was there so I hawked it cos all I do is gamble and get in the **** I tell him my story and how im so ripped and owe so much and Unbeleivably he bursts out crying infront of me and says he has the same problem only his is ten times as bad, hes lost his wife/kids and owes in excess of 50k but he earned about 60k a year an amount I couldn’t have contemplated back then so it seemed to me he was only a wage gambler, yeah right, he proceeds to tell me various scams he does regularly on the company who fully trust him to the hilt he tells me he has these beds stashed in 48 other locales that bail him out when things get bad as he sells them back to other proprietors for 6-7k each or woteva he can get but its only a matter of time before hes caught and jailed. We shut the shop and head over to haddows – off license and get 8 cans of bud and a half bottle of vodka and sit through the back talking gambling and **** till the two of us are steaming drunk then we decide to take a cab to the local casino. I guess he was the lonliest guy in the wrld cos he replaced my 100 from the safe and took me on his dollar to the casino in Glasgow where we won mediocre sums of cash. This lasted for 2 months and the best we done was up 5k one night and worst night was 11k down all on his dollar originally but he was replacing it selling the beds back every time we got stung, this was a whole world of crazy ass fuggin fun this guy was my biggest boss but now I think he believed I had leverage over him so he used to give me ks everytime we went it was like a peadophile uncle who u really loved but instead of giving u sweets for silence he bought mine with rolls n rolls of doe. This went on and on until he was replaced by an old fat basterd called seriously I kid u not Horace. My Italian gambling bud come roll giver was moved from my precinct to the other end of Scotland and that was the end of that. During my time rolling with the incredible dude we walked away from the casino plus 10k too many times I cant remember, this paid for my overdraft, credit cards, student loan back but id ****ed uni by this time anyway and all other debts associated with degening, if we won 10k hed ship me 1.5 or 2k it didn’t matter it was not really his dime anyway he was the most degen guy I ever seen in my life but also so understanding and generous, I mean if we lost like we did many times maybe 7k or 8k woteva I never had to bear any that money not even once but if we left up even a 1k I still got a slice just for silence but in the end it was more of a stupid friendship in a way. The last time I seen him im sorry but I really cant name him, he was borderline alcoholic and our place of work was funnily enough in administration no idea if it was us or not, he lost all his bank rolling high flying tucked away side money from the beds and got a healthy pay out as well from the work ive not seen him since 4 years ago or heard anything bout him, but me im back degening, back in overdraft, 2.5k cc 4k personal loan of 20k I guess I tried to keep up the **** id been doing with Italian stallion without the get out clause of 7k being their whenver I lost no matter what. I guess between us we spent in excess of £250,000 arsing around when realistically forgetting all moral and ethical issues we coulda sold all products and lived a very happy life with lots of cash courtesy of far too rich to notice head office bosses but im a degen and this is a degen story my ending has no happiness cos im absoscrewed I owe so much cash and im on a better wage now in a better job but at my rate of pay of £11 an hour id need to work far too many hours to pay it all back so if and when I think of another douchbag scam to clean my slate and degen again ill let all fellow narcissists know. Peace out gang, remember always the dfishs words if u don’t get caught u didn’t do it so stick em the fug up and gimme the register. BOOM.
