Degen Stories.... - Page 43 - Poker Beats Brags and Variance

was playin HU and i flopped 9 high with a backdoor 10 high draw, so i check raise a banana, he shoved over the top for like 3 bananas and a steak

i thought **** it and called putting in a huggeeee bag of marshamallows, it comes brick brick and i dont eat for a week

fml

****ty diet, imo

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11-25-2009 , 08:40 AM

#1052

Skincarver

banned

Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 834

Just watched the "owning Mahowny" movie. Highly recommend it. A true degen film.

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11-25-2009 , 10:25 AM

#1053

M.A.H.P.'s

veteran

Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 2,678

Quote:

break down to us the horrors of rape and male on male abuse in jail and you officially win this thread.

ya, ill take it ALLL back if you write this down. so long as its true, of course.

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11-25-2009 , 11:08 AM

#1054

Gonzo Campaign

enthusiast

Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 62

Quote:

Originally Posted by M.A.H.P.'s

ya, ill take it ALLL back if you write this down. so long as its true, of course.

County jail isn't quite Oz.

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11-25-2009 , 12:55 PM

#1055

DazednConfused

journeyman

Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 202

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skincarver

Just watched the "owning Mahowny" movie. Highly recommend it. A true degen film.

+1

wish he woulda listened to bernie when he was on his sick heater :-/ brutal

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11-25-2009 , 02:37 PM

#1056

firefox123

newbie

Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 16

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gonzo Campaign

You were working at a white shoe law firm making $80k a year at 21? You clearly weren't a lawyer if it was a white shoe firm, plus you were only 21. Were you doing some kind of IT work for them? If so, you were able to access the accounting department where they print checks without attracting any attention (at least initially)?

I'm a lawyer, and I cannot imagine something like this being possible at any firm with even somewhat sophisticated organizational safeguards. I don't necessarily disbelieve you, but... damn. That story is crazy.

Yes, I was doing some kind of IT work for them - I was responsible for all their databases, including their timekeeping & accounting systems database to be precise, and I had 24 hour access to the building. I omitted some details from the original story in the interests of brevity, but there was quite a lot of effort expended on fudging the monthly recs.

I got busted in the end when my checking account set off the money laundering alarms at Citizens bank after I deposited and withdrew $150k over two months (gives you an idea of the escalating levels of degen).

Oh, and I was making $80k when I was 19

.

PS. "White shoe" might have been a misnomer, I used it to mean "prestigious", but now that I've looked it up on the wiki I realize it has quite a specific meaning. Definitely one of the bigger firms in my state, but I don't know whether they'd be considered "white shoe".

Last edited by firefox123; 11-25-2009 at 02:54 PM. Reason: Edited for clarity

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11-25-2009 , 02:40 PM

#1057

firefox123

newbie

Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 16

Quote:

Originally Posted by Gonzo Campaign

County jail isn't quite Oz.

Indeed. I'm afraid there are no stories of torn ringpieces, I left there with my flower and my teeth intact. There were a few fights and I ended up doing about 4-6 weeks in solitary all in all. That's almost like sensory deprivation, there is only so much wall-staring, push-ups and jacking off you can do. Was doing about 1,000 push-ups a day at one point, couldn't do 3 when I got in. Probably couldn't do 3 now...

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11-25-2009 , 09:46 PM

#1058

RelaxedPrecision

Jared Huggins

Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 1,185

I just remembered a very tragic gambling story about my brother, I'll share it later.

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11-25-2009 , 09:53 PM

#1059

Gonzo Campaign

enthusiast

Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 62

Quote:

Originally Posted by firefox123

Gotcha. It just seemed like a strange series of events, and quite frankly still does at a prestigious law firm. But I guess a lot of the AmLaw 100 firms would never expect something like that to happen to them. I'm a lawyer at one of those firms, by the way... I just can't imagine someone being able to pull that off here. But the place you ripped off probably thought the same thing, too.

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11-26-2009 , 01:05 AM

#1060

Skincarver

banned

Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 834

Quote:

Originally Posted by DazednConfused

+1

wish he woulda listened to bernie when he was on his sick heater :-/ brutal

Just curious...If he HAD walked away after going on his 9 mil heater, what would have been the laws surrounding that? Would he have been entitled to keep his winnings after being arrested for theft? Like after paying back the amount he stole, or would the winnings just go back to the casino?

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11-26-2009 , 01:25 AM

#1061

glen

adept

Join Date: Nov 2002 Posts: 1,073

Quote:

Originally Posted by Slingtown

i never was much of a gambler. my friends and i would all gather my buddy loft watch games of three tvs and i'd just sit there and laugh and laugh at them losing pretty big money most of the time betting the nfl. i wasn't stupid with my loot and betting the nfl was a no win proposition.

so rinse and repeat for a few years and one of these kids move into my apartment. football season starts and I decide to make a $50 parlay one sunday for ****s and giggles. that was easy, I hit a three teamer and was up to around $260 or so. so i decide why not play with the profits, but since i am no expert with football i decide why not try betting some college basketball games as I got a good feel year in, and year out for different teams.

my friend convinced me to open my own account with his bookie (we'd bet online and pay up in cash) as he was broke and gonna close his. so I get it all setup in time for big monday and place a two team parlay with 100 bucks on i think georgetown and texas. again I win this bet and now have $500 bucks in this little envelope for my bets.

not giving into my compulsion i took that whole week off, cause I know what I'm doing. the next sunday comes and i start looking over the games for hte week and decide why the **** not go for broke. i start placing $50 dollar bets on a ****load of college games. that week I was 90 % in single games. 5 for 5 in two team parlays, hit a five team parlay. **** i was on fire. i was buying point in games both ways and hitting. by the end of the week i ten grand or something, cash ****ing money.

so i'm hooked. I'd go to bed dreaming about my bets, i started waking up in the middle of the night not being able to sleep thinking about placing bets. i bet so ****ing hard the next two weeks I lose five grand . so I'm real ****in heated, angry and volatile.

i convince my bookie to raise my limit, and scour the internet for some ****ing locks. i ended up finding some local newspaper article in montana about the upcoming montana/montana st game that saturday. i'm convinced this is the lock so all week I'm following everything about this game and i'm sold on it.

that week went bad and i was in the hole already a few grand. saturday rolls around and i'm gonna have a party and bet 7500 on the lock of the week. the game was late for me (im on the east coast) so i spent the day getting drunk. did i mention I had a thing for whiskey and blacking out?

maybe it was the nerves, maybe it was just another saturday but the last thing i remember is getting home to listen to the game on internet radio and doing a few shots of jameson.

i come too in the hospital. I have ivs in my arms and i'm restrained to the bed. I start flipping out trying to get up and soon the hospital security is in the room asking if I really want to try them again. i'm ****in stupid, but i was smart enough to realize something bad went down. i calm down a bit and try to piece everything together but can't. there was this one real friendly nurse who took pity on me and explained i was arrested last night and brought to the hospital because of being intoxicated.

later that afternoon a police officer comes in and ask if i'd like to give a statement. i tell him yah, but i have no idea what happened. he jsut laughs and i start pleading with him to let me know whats going on. Appartently, I had assaulted a cab driver who refused to drive me to montana (my downstairs neighbor later told me he saw me leaving the apartment mubbling something about the referee fixing a game and how i don't let anyone **** with my money)

yah so i lost that bet which was huge, had lawyer fees, hospital bills out the ass. needless to say i only sip the whiskey and haven't bet in a few years.

Awesome degen story. . . how do u just sip it now? doesn't it feel so good when it touches your lips, no?

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11-26-2009 , 03:12 AM

#1062

DazednConfused

journeyman

Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 202

Quote:

Originally Posted by Skincarver

not too sure about this im no law expert but it sure seems like he would have been in less trouble if he was able to give the money back and claim it was merely a loan not theft

he is degen to the max though so they never walk away

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11-26-2009 , 07:04 AM

#1063

eric_cartmanez

grinder

Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 467

Quote:

Originally Posted by bubbypoker

This reminds me of that movie "Owning Mahoney" with Phillip Seymour Hoffman. Great gambling degen movie for those who haven't seen it.

http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0285861/

about to watch it

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11-26-2009 , 08:50 AM

#1064

eric_cartmanez

grinder

Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 467

really good movie! definitely super degen

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11-26-2009 , 09:35 AM

#1065

TheCptCool

veteran

Join Date: Mar 2008 Posts: 2,049

I have a new degen story. I title it "Full Tilt Poker`s new 300 Chip super Turbo Heads Up SnGs"

I double the buy in everytime i win one. 4 time from 4 Dollar to 120 and back. That really turns me on, lol:-)

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11-26-2009 , 11:52 AM

#1066

Gambit90

enthusiast

Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 73

Quote:

Originally Posted by boythinks

one time i got bad beated really bad and lost $400 playing 100nl on FTP...

i started tilting ..... then.. in a complete rage i bought several decks of playing cards and a hat from the FTP store

the FTP cards are really bad quality ... and i never wore the hat

hows that for degen story??

I know a guy who lost his wife and kids spending to many FPP's, he now delivers pizzas at the age of 47, you ought to get some help bro.

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11-26-2009 , 12:20 PM

#1067

Gambit90

enthusiast

Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 73

Everything aside, biggest degen story: Archie Karas, i think that is the degen story. Just shows anyone can bust if they have enough gamble, don't ever be fooled in to a false sence of security of having however many Buy in's etc if you are going to play all day every day for meaningful amounts.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iMlb_...eature=related

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11-26-2009 , 12:50 PM

#1068

mhh

centurion

Join Date: Sep 2009 Posts: 128

Just watched "Owning Mahowny" and my god that is the most depressing thing I have ever seen.

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11-26-2009 , 02:05 PM

#1069

MicroSNGDonkey

old hand

Join Date: Jun 2009 Posts: 1,331

A buddy of mine went in a local pool room and went busted playing a regular. The guy working the counter was a well known local gambler/pool player and one of the best in the area. After my friend went busted he was approached by the good player asking if he wanted to play some. My buddy looked at him and said "I only have this bic lighter in my pocket, but I'll put it in action!" smiling of course. The good player said he wanted to make him leave with nothing in his pockets and proceeded to lose $500 chasing a bic lighter.

Sicko.

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11-26-2009 , 06:43 PM

#1070

dimebar

adept

Join Date: Jul 2008 Posts: 895

http://www.thisamericanlife.org/Radi...spx?sched=1326

theres a degen story on here, I think about 20 minutes in or so.

his a blackjack degen who drives a limo to fund his life and habbit.

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11-26-2009 , 07:46 PM

#1071

hairycrackaritus

centurion

Join Date: May 2008 Posts: 173

Quote:

Originally Posted by stueycal

run a $23 transfer from my friend into $200, instead of cashing it out i play pl50 and donk it all away in less then two hours

wow !! this story owns this whole thread, top degenerate.

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11-26-2009 , 08:24 PM

#1072

Sendarianbluffs

journeyman

Join Date: Nov 2009 Posts: 349

Quote:

Originally Posted by ch3ckraise

100 -> 10K Degen Attempt:

10:17 PM: Deposit $100 on absolute
10:19 PM: Hit $255 Playing blackjack
10:20 PM: Playing 3/6 - 6Max ($255)
10:41 PM: Playing 3/6 - 6Max ($389)
10:43 PM: This table is so nitty, im thinking about going back to blackjack to hit $450 so i can bump it up to 5/10 NL
10:46 PM: I gotta take a $hit. will determine next move whilst pooping
10:55 PM: Playing 3/6 - 6Max ($333)
11:07 PM: Playing 3/6 - 6Max ($200) - Made a bad call
11:12 PM: Playing 3/6 - 6Max ($180)
11:15 PM: Playing 3/6 - 6Max ($100)
11:23 PM: Playing 3/6 - 6Max ($130) - This sucks!!! need a new plan of action.
11:34 PM: Playing 3/6 - 6Max ($340) - Made 2 good calls
11:39 PM: Playing 3/6 - 6Max (BUSTO) - Bluffed into the nuts

I tried

what I should have done: Go back to blackjack at 11:34 PM
Note to self: that was fun, will retry soon

Key Degening Lesson Learnt:
Degening $100-$1K requires a lot of luck. So don't waste chips trying to make moves or be fancy. Instead call with trash hands and hope to get lucky. if you dont hit hard just check down ur trash and hope you hit some ****ty 2 pair. see as many flops turns and rivers for as cheap as possible to maximize your sucking out potential. play blackjack if ur stack gets too low or after u go on a sick heater.

Good luck to all degens who attempt this feat.

Ive done 100 to 1k playing 1/2 hu nlhe in two small sessions then lost 340 of it and cashed out

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11-26-2009 , 10:01 PM

#1073

M.A.H.P.'s

veteran

Join Date: Oct 2007 Posts: 2,678

Quote:

Degening $100-$1K requires a lot of luck. So don't waste chips trying to make moves or be fancy. Instead call with trash hands and hope to get lucky. if you dont hit hard just check down ur trash and hope you hit some ****ty 2 pair. see as many flops turns and rivers for as cheap as possible to maximize your sucking out potential. play blackjack if ur stack gets too low or after u go on a sick heater.

daddy likes! need to try asap.

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11-26-2009 , 10:33 PM

#1074

super_dave31

old hand

Join Date: Nov 2008 Posts: 1,223

fre fox i just wana say i think your degen story is classic

because... you now have a well paid job in england so all the stuff in american didnt affect you / screw your life over.

and what a story to tell lol, the fact you got to do whatever the hell you wanted, spent 8 months in prison for it but itmust have been worth it!

If i was a millionaire i would get sent to prison for a month or something, i just think it would be a funny life experience! (miollionaire so i dont have to worry about a career afterwards - or like he did, just do it in america instead)

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11-26-2009 , 11:12 PM

#1075

TJI_1234

centurion

Join Date: Apr 2008 Posts: 104

Quote:

Originally Posted by TheCptCool

This.

Soo much fun. I equate it to playing Black Jack, using the system. 2 wins at a level and move up. If you get rakeback, these f*ckers will juice you up!

TJI

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