HAHAHAHAHHAHA

lol pretty much me right there

Lol I have a parlay today on bluejays mets and the Rogers
Currently sweating the dodgers if I win I'mma fly to vegas later tonight
Bringin 10k no hotel stay booked figure it out as I go

Pray for me degen fam

So sick.. How big was the bet? After one of my worst weeks of all time, I just hit the following:

2k parlay bet on:

Mets -1.5
Jays -1.5
Cubs -1.0
Royals -1.0

Ship the 30k. Also had this bet:

600 parlay on:

Mets -1.5
Jays -1.5
Arizona -1.0
Royals -1.0
Barcelona -1.5 (lost a 4-1 lead) woulda payed another 20....


Plus, had a parlay yesterday, 3k bet:

KC -1
Mets -1
Dodgers -1

Dodgers couldn't close it out last night for me. Nevermind the fact that they hadn't lost 4 in a row in over two years. Hoping they hold for you, seems like you're having a monster week. Wishing I didn't live in Singapore so I could hop a flight to Vegas and bet some big games with you.

Also one thing to note, if the current scores hold, every home team in MLB will have won tonight. Would love to know the last time that happened....

dam thats a sick bet i could never do a point spread parlay in baseball moneyline parlays already get me nervous enough grats on the big win

mine was just for a few thousand got a little under 3-1 for my money

currently planning the logistics for my spontaneous trip

ive been doing so well off baseball that i havent even played poker lately lol

i hope one day i can grow this bankroll to the point where i can put 10k+ on a single game daily

i like a lot of games later today but i hate days like this after a big win because it sorta traps you

Wow. Congrats.

Darren Rovell ‏@darrenrovell 42m
For the 1st time in MLB history, all 15 home teams won on same day. A $100 parlay would have paid $305,844 (H/T @erikschuman)

Wow, pretty neat.

Thanks. If only I could have laid off of the soccer game in the 600 bet. That was more on a whim of frustration than anything else, had 600 sitting in one of my SB accounts. Pretty sure i'm like 1-10 lifetime in soccer bets.

I just think you miss out on so much value betting money line on teams in baseball. Betting -1 gives you significantly higher odds, and your team still needs a win as it is. Sure you push on one run games but will make up for it on your other games where you've taken the run line.

thats pretty sick kinda tilts me tbh

i got bad beat on the vegas trip

i cant get any flights until later tonight at like 8pm

also quick question for hotels

lets say i want to spend two nights if i showed up at like 10am to get a room and wanted to leave the next day in the morning

do i only get charged for 1 night

and if i checked into the hotel at like 10pm and left the next morning at like 10 am it would be the same as the earlier scenario right?

so value would be to get a hotel room earlier right?

Had been in Iraq for about a yr, this is mid to late 2004 on a ****ty forward operating base aka no girls, nothing to do. I had been playing holdem since '99 so hadthe bright idea that since these jagoffs all had at least 20 or 30k in the bank id donk em off all of it in our downtime. I order chips and cards and put out the word that we are gonna start playing holdem, cash only. There were atms on the main airbase about 20 min from us and whenever a squad would have to go there all the boys would throw their ATM cards and pin numbers and max withdrawal w whoever was going. Needless to say, by the time i got the chips we had a helluva lotta cash. Now i was a sgt, the other guy that knew how to play was one rank above me. The rest were just clowns that had some idea how to play but sucked. Long story short, im up about 4k. Ive gotta take a helluva **** but the actions juicy and i cant pull myself away. finally im on the button and announce that after this im running to the latrines to drop duece.

Naturally i pick up a hand. Dont remember what. Me and the guy who outrank me get it all in preflop. Theres like 7k in the pot but im gonna burst. My turdcutter is literally winking in anticipation of letting this massive **** fly.i say " i gotta go, tell me what happens". The villain aka guy outranking me, says if i leave the hand is mucked. Im like ****. Goes down to river. i flip. He wont turn his cards over hes just giggling watching me quiver. Im thinking i won and he is being a dick. The dude turns his hand. He had called my 4k shove w pocket 2's. Flopped trips. Rivered quads. Spent what must have been 3 minutes slow rolling me.

I screamed **** in a voice i cant explain, opened the door and literally ran for my life to latrines, which was about 200 meters away through deep ass pebbles, get to the toilet, dance in place unbuckling my pants, SLAM toilet seat up, turn around and am lowering my buns to the rim of the toilet w turds already SPILLING out of my ass. Imagine my surprise when i realize i threw the lid to the toilet up too hard in my frantic state and that it had immediately fallen back closed whilst i was turning around. The shock of having lost 4k in cold hard cash (on a soldiers pay) and now being steeped in my own turds was... Surreal. I can still remember the feeling of those piping hot turds being squeezed beneath my ass and it makes me gag.

Anyway. I ****ing clean myself and get back to the game. Even though i only bought in for about 200 bucks i still considered that 3-4k lost mine. I just CANT get this guy in a pot w me and we r **** talking like crazy. no one knows about the latrine saga btw. Somehow we r talking about getting mortared and rocket attacked at random on the base. I tell him ill give him 2:1 that we get mortared or rocketed TODAY. Hes like pfft. Ill give YOU 2:1 we DONT. We have a third guy thats his rank hold my 2k and his 4k. The deal is that the bets over at midnight. This was at about 7. Im living in a connex which is basically a shipping crate PRAYING we get rocketed. It gets to be about 11 and im dying inside at this stupid bet, how i could lose 4k to DONKS and then ride 2k that we get hit by the ****ing rocket man. LIGHTBULB!!! I have a 40mm grenade launcher on my M4. Ill zip one of those ****s into the field in the middle of the base and presto change-o ill be up. But then i think ahhhh theyll hear the discharge or ill kill some bonehead i didnt see, whatever. So then i think HEY we have these burn pits where we burn all the trash etc. They are always ablaze. Ill throw a 40mm grenade in there, haul ass and be back by our quarters by the time it burns enough to blow.

I go to the pit. Look around. Toss TWO 40 mm grenades in and run back to connex. Im in my cot, thinking anytime now. Its been twenty minutes. ****. I have a couple of m67 grenades, real deal frags, that i stole from the ammo dump where we take siezed weapons. There was a whole crate and i think i snagged 4.

So now im ****ing nerve wracked. I know if i toss the m67 frags in the burnpit ive got 5 seconds to get my fatass outta there or either be ****ed up or have my squad leader be super suspicious that i did it. Im like **** man what to do. I go by the pit. No ones around i pullout a frag. I think about it and am like frags arent THAT loud. Why go through this and no one hears. I pull out a second one. I pull both pins. I flip both thumb safeties off, and at the last second hesitate realizing i cant let the spoons pop off and be recovered or the gigs up. One last look to be sure no one sees and i threw those ****s straight in the fire.

Now many times in my life have i done ****ed up ****. Many times have i been trying to run from something or someone and been laughing so hard i could barely put one foot in front of the other. This was NOT one of those times. Those two frags and those two 40Mm grenades on that quiet night...goddamn. I was about to stop running so i wouldnt be suspicious but people started pouring out hauling ass for the bunkers so i just went with. The sgt i was in the bet with apparently saw me coming from that area and actually asked me if it was by me. I was like "hell yeah so ****ing close". He paused for a second, i was sweating balls, and he says" mother****er thats what u GET for betting we take incoming, i dont care. Was your money anyway".

Swore i wouldnt play like games like that again. Not two weeks later we have 200 dollars a piece on who can shoot a 40mm grenade closest to themselves, while making it explode AND not getting hurt. They take like 14 meters to activate. The very first moron shot it CLOSE and caught an amazingly large piece of shrapnel in his own leg. Was sooo good. That game ended quickly. No monies were exchanged.

lol thats so ******ed its funny

and to think people like you made it back from iraq

Fast forward to 2007-8. Living in thailand. Playing on STARS fulltime. Taking adderral to stay up all night and play the sunday million. I played the sunday million every ****ing week and never cashed. 2K a month w no return. Finally on this particular day the girl i brought to thailand from america has this **** timed flight like in the ****ing dead of night. Im a dozen people from the money and she starts being like we gotta go in twenty. Im like wtf! I CANT tell her call a taxi. my newborn son is going with her etc etc. Im tilting my rocks off mentally but have yet to do something stupid. The sloppy ****hole that she is says to me " isnt this the one u lose everyweek anyway?"

I remember freezing in place thinking about throttling that tramp but i tilted more instead. Said fuxk it im all in every hand. The first two no one called. The third i had rags and someone called. I sucked out and doubled through the big stack. I lol. Next hand..fourth shove in a row i get JJ. my jacks never hold. Thisll be it. The bigstack who i just sucked out on but am now even with, and one more caller. Felted both of them. I look at my gf. The mother of my son. Ilook at my young son. I wont see them for months. And did what any father would do. I said .... Call a cab.
She had a meltdown and i had never even heard her raise her voice before at ALL. i check lobby. we are in the money. I am the big stack for the entire field.

Sadly i relent. I take them to the airport 5 min later. Everyone crys. I stand watching them pass security QUIVERING inside wanting to run to the car. She turns and waves. I wave. She turns corner. The only time i ever turned and ran like that was when i ran from those frags in previous story. I HAULED ASS home. if you were on the road your life was in danger. By the time i got home i was still in the top ten stacks for the tourney.

This was my first tourney cash over ten grand. I was on top of the world.

Later my friend came over. This guys a cagey veteran. We had both crushed brazil, Philippines and thailand. Tell him the score. Hes like oh **** drinks on you! Im thinking thailand may be too much w out my girl there. Im a NOTORIOUS pu$$yhound, and will party balls mon-sun if unchecked. So ten hours after crying w my lil son in the airport im knee deep in thai bargirls. We find a couple and take em back. My boys like "yo, does adderral **** w your hardon"? I was like oh **** I dont know. He tosses me a 100 mg viagra. I had a raging hard on but couldnt squirt if my life depended on it. I railed of those girls one after the other until all the condoms were broken. I was high off that win and all i could hear was the sound of the automated chips and cards on stars and playing again. But at this point it was the principle of the thing. One of these filthy slopdogs was taking my seed. I hop on the motorbike. Suns coming up. My dick is hard as woodpecker lips. I race for 7-11. Hit corner going hella fast. Skid and high side bike. I fly into drainage ditch full of water. Moped skids in on top of me while im face down in about 3 feet of some **** i dont wanna think about. I struggle but cant get up. Last thought before im gonna die is "im not even gonna be able to ****ing cash out on stars".

A couple thais that saw this...spectacle... Jumped in and pulled motorbike off me and pulled me out. I walked home. Kicked out whores. Cashed out 90% on stars. Booked flight to rio de janeiro. I knew my survivability in thailand was low. But brazil...my god brazil. It was a few weeks before lines of coke and heroin right off brazilian butts and cooz. Have pictures of the whores, the drugs, the drugs on the whores... Memories. Can we post pics?

of course you can post pics if not PM them lol

sounds like an adventure

you might need more posts though before you can upload not sure

2005-6 Out of army. Working for blackwater worldwide doing short contracts. 700 and change per day in combat zone. Great internet connection. Stars!!! So i decide that in the months im off ill live in vegas. I think hey ill go to college, university of phoenix lol, collect my gov monies for that, get educated. Lol. Little did i know that the university of phoenix in las vegas nevada is really only frequented by... Ladies of the night and leisure. We went around my first class introducing ourselves and profession. Of 24 people about 18 were big breasted young women who were "self employed". Lolz cus i didnt know what that meant. Was thinkin their business owners. I get tight w a korean who works at the spearmint rhino. She says to me, unprovoked: " i REALLY want to **** you, but i have a bf. BUT i know a girl that would LOVE you. " she tells me her name is xxxxxx and she works at Crazy Horse Too. Im like coooool. Gonna go meet her. After school i go to wynn. Sit poker. have a string of CRAZY suckouts that i win and leave the game up about 3k. Complete hit and run because this is like 45 min and the korean calls and says hey shes at work go meet her and be aggressive. The last part makes me like OH ****. Now theres pressure. I slam drinks. I came on motorcycle. Ive got 5k in cash. Im like yaaaaa im gonna ball out of control. Haul ass to the Horse. Thinking of balling all the way. Get off bike. Korean texted me "DO NOT SPEND ANY MONEY ON HER OR ITS GAME OVER AND YOUR A CUSTOMER"..... gulp.... There goes my whole gameplan. Go in. Look around. Decide i cant find her. Go to desk to retrieve helmet. My face gets snatched from the right. She says lookin for me? I say dunno. My god this hot Russian tramp was too much. So hot. Laid back. She says lets go get something to eat. I say bet. We hop in her 80k$ suv lol and hit strip. Park. We walk through casino and im like this is my chance! Pull stacks and just slam black jack. Four hands 500 each. Somehow win 3?!. We go to some hotdog place. She asks if im eating. I say no. She orders. They give her hotdog. She says get this for me. GULP. I meant to sound playful but somehow BARK "get it yourself". She asks if im serious. Shake head that i am. She turns and slings that dog across counter like ****ing nolan ryan. The workers shocked but silent. I follow her out. We leave. Takes me back to bike. Say peace. Roll back toward strip HAMMERED on my bike. I see her in rear view. Decide to endo to the stoplight. Back wheel comes up tooooo far. Nearly eat **** at intersection. She pulls up at intersection. Asks if i meant to do that. I say yuuuuup. She screaches tires on me.


Naturally i think ive blown it w this bird. Im drunk as ****. Im on vag-tilt...so what to do. Back to the wynn. Its been an hour. I get to same table. The guys think ive rat holed em. I donk off 1500 in a jiffy thinking about whether or not i shoulda bought hotdog. Korean texts that russian likes me and wants number. Congrats me on not buying hotdog. 1500 no big deal. I race home, beat off all over the house and rack out.

Fast forward a year with the russian. I was in the middle east. She found out some **** i had pulled. Decides to get even. Posts my motorcycle , that i dont even have the title to yet on craigslist. Bikebought for 12k a yr before. No miles. Posts it for 5500. Tells guy interested her "Husband is in iraq, we need to sell it, 5500 to pay off title and the titles yours, you can take bike today".

My first thought when i found out was to poison that bitch.

Luckily cooler heads prevailed haha and i remembered that this dumb **** thought she was able to hide money in her guest room under clothes in top of closet. It took me a few weeks to charm my way back in to her house/life. A bottle of wild turkey later and shes passed out. Im drunkenly tearing guest room apart. Find a very SAD 6500 in closet. Sad cus i had seen about 30 there before. Called cab, broke all her plates (why?) and scrambled out. Room at wynn. Lost every red cent of that money in probably 6 hours. But damn it was satisfying. Stayed for 3 days donking buyins, depressed. Cabbed to nrthtown where my apartment was. Go in, and its burning up. Turn on ac. Eyes burn. Wtf?... Open windows. Shower. Hop in bed naked. Whole body is on fire. The ****ing sneaky russian whore had come into my place and emptied a can of mace into my AC ducts and on all my sheets and blankets for good measure. Lol. Funny looking back. ****ing cossack whorepig

I think it depends on the hotel, but you could cancel the 2nd night of stay as long as you notify them 24~48 hours prior to the date.
The hotel checkout is usually 11am or noon so they will give you the room(if you want to checkin at 10am) based on availability.

As for checking in at 10pm..its the same thing as long as you notify them and leave before the checkout time.

Now give us your parlay picks..

My picks for today were mets blue jays dodgers

I had to settle for my local accounts

I really wish I coulda got to vega today earlier to place a 10k bet on it
I'm really butthurt about it cause the games tomorrow suck for betting
I'm either Ganna flu out there later tonight or tomorrow morning

Unless the dodgers lose


Also have a **** it bet on dodgers Chicago Cubs blue jays mets and royals but if that hits I'll be up another few gs

loooooooooooool

I was really broke Last year, so I used my JC Penney credit card and bought multiple $15 Gift cards (inside the jcp) from various places (starbucks, barnes and noble, red lobster). I didn't have cash, just paid a huge amount on my car, no cash advance available on regular credit cards, so with these gift cards from JC Penney I would usually go buy something for 5-6 dollars so it would be under $10 dollar in value. In California, if a gift card is below $10, you can redeem it for cash. It took a lot of effort but it was a Easy path to getting accessible gambling funds.

bringing change to cashier for hard dollar for slots...

Rented a campsite tonight near a casino. Set up the tent and went. Wasn't that degen but I was racking up after up $100 at poker but then I noticed I was next to button so I tell my friend just one more hand ago and he's like come on dude we got to go I looked out at 65 comes around to me everyone calls and I make it seven everyone calls OK I got 65 flop queen jack suited diamonds six I have no flash on the straight truck but I call 22 guys call 2016 the pot and we go to the turn I got my fingers crossed on my come on man I need a nice turn here comes the five hearts no flushing the board I got two pair I get a mall then come over for hundred dollar pot and held up high rat I got locked out of 27 through that I'll racked up and let

+200 I go to camp happy. But can't get a fire started and it's dark here I drop my flashlight it broke and it was just a good story leaving with a win again but casino is only a few miles away I hope I can restrain myself from gambling it away.