Ugh. I can't believe I'm going to continue with this, but...

I wouldn't ask my friends to do things they aren't interested in doing. My friends wouldn't ask me to do things I'm not interested in. While we share interests, we have our own things we enjoy doing. Maybe once in a blue moon, we will do those things we aren't interested in, but we simply accept how we are and find our common ground.

When I apply to a job, I shouldn't be held under any expectation that I am going to be a one-to-one clone of everyone working there. I shouldn't be expected to be some super socialite that joins every party and organizes the next super awesome outing. If I did organize some outing, I wouldn't be the slightest bit offended that no one shows up. I wouldn't even ask all my coworkers because I don't want to put them under that kind of pressure; I don't want that pressure on me. I don't mind going out alone. I live in a new town where I know no one and I'm kind of over that whole I need a social circle to do things idea.

Pizza Fridays? Gee, thanks. I'm totally sold on that one.

Did you see the video and employee page I linked to upthread? What message was all of that trying to send?

That's like saying there's no difference between pong and halo because they both use controllers.

/angerbear

Grunching, Dave I understand your point of view but I would consider stating that you would go. If you actually got an offer and accepted the job, then follow though by going and participating. It isn't something that appeals to me but then again maybe I would enjoy the experience. Presumably you would accept an offer because your assignments seemed like they would be interesting and challenging.

daveT, go out and live a little. It won't hurt :P.

DaveT, if you don't feel like a shoe, you don't have to be a shoe

it's absolutely nothing like that

the one on the right is like being caressed on the cheek while the one on the left is like being stabbed in the eye

if you're thinking about my baby
it don't matter if you're #000 or #fff

this makes me think you have not experienced either of those things....

I once read someone describe themselves as an "outgoing introvert." I think that describes me pretty well so I'll steal it.

I live a lot -- more than average, I think.

It will be total LOLZ when he tells you he experience both, and yes, the latter sucks as much as you think it does.

What if an interview step was drinking beers with the manager?

Is it okay to get utterly trashed at the interview? Should I hammer down a few before going to take the edge off or show up sober and chug as many as I can?

Let's say I really want this job.

And this is not entirely hypothetical... Austin's motto is "keep it strange."

^^ I hope it is obvious that part of that is tongue-in-cheek, but it is an interesting way of spinning the wisdom of hiring people you would want to have a drink with on its head.

Lot of pro-drinking beer in this industry or maybe its like that for many industries.
If they ask you to go and you don't want to show up. Just put cell on do not disturb and don't go, say you fell asleep by mistake.

I do that many times, by mistake or not and it has never failed me.
Nobodies feelings get hurt as a bonus. You need rest once in awhile and some days you over sleep.

Also you can be any age and pull the trick.
If your work is good, they will just think you're pushing yourself and may even treat you nicer at work.
Its also a wake up call if you are full of yourself because if they say you're lazy, it means you're work isn't that great.

We invite candidates to have a beer at various times. Usually if there's a company event happening we'll just invite them. But sometimes we'll do it just just to chat. Getting drunk is probably a bad idea - but in some cases wouldn't hurt you (depending on how you behave).

This thread just seems to reinforce the lack of social skills some people have. If you don't want to go for a beer - don't go. Or suggest something else. Or whatever. You shouldn't need big elaborate lies.

Very few companies are hiring best friends. If you happened to find one of these rarities just pass on them since it's clearly a horrible fit.

What kind of life is that?

there are places where that isn't a step?

i sure hope so!

why not both?

just be sure not to puke where others can see you!

At the last company outing I attended, I blacked out, but the phone record looked like this (with a ton of alcohol pictures):

I think you are reading far too much into what I am saying.

I draw the line at asking me to post my photo with silly captions on a company website. I draw the line at creating testimonial vids on your company website.

I have no problems being friends with coworkers. I've wrote this a million times, and I totally agree that being around people you dislike is terrible.

I think joining a company for the express purpose of finding a social circle is a little strange. I think a hiring manger using interviews as a way to find a social circle is strange.

I also have issues with "cultural fit." As someone else pointed out, it feels more like a weapon of discrimination. It isn't without irony that all of the employees at many of these "fun and awesome" companies with "amazing culture" look like brothers and sisters, and are all under 30.

Great, draw the line there. But asking people to do those things doesn't mean they're looking for best buddies.

Whenever you write something like "for the express purpose of finding a social circle is a little strange. I think a hiring manager using interviews as a way to find a social circle" I groan to myself because NOBODY* IS DOING THIS. It's just you completely misunderstaning what's happening. It's like the teenage guy that gets smiled at by the hot cheerleader and thinks they're going to get married.

I do think the cultural fit thing can be problematic when it comes to diversity. But thats a different thing.



* almost

lol, awesome

I should also add that at least 3-4 conferences I've spoken at have asked for the stupid 'dung picture', 'funny quote', 'interesting tidbit', etc. I don't think any of them were trying to be my new BFF.

* 'dung picture was suppose to be funny picture, but it was too good of an autocorrect error to change.

So...

What is the point of posting a bunch of employee testimonial videos featuring a bunch of parties, smiling faces, and fun outings?

What is the point of employment postings saying "we are looking for people we could have a beer with?" notwithstanding this is highly disrespectful to people who don't drink for various reasons?

What is the point of having a ton of employee pictures with a bunch of silly captions? Why do I have to pose with an iguana and Burger King crown?

I have no problems doing these things if I was speaking at a conference. This is a voluntary attempt to self-promote, which is very different and I don't see how they are the same at all.

I also don't see what a winking cheerleader has to do with any of this either. The analogy I'm thinking of is the opposite, but highly offensive so I won't write it.

You can want to be friendly and have fun with people without needing to be best friends forever.

I have lots of coworkers that I'd grab a beer with but wouldn't invite to my wedding or have over to a party I was hosting.

Did I really need to be explicit about that?