RIP youtalkfunny
06-12-2019
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06-14-2019
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, 11:39 PM
06-17-2019
, 07:40 AM
Epic food binges / cheat days
After the first time he came really close to -200 pounds.
Quote:
I've been staring at this blank white box for over a minute, because I don't know where to begin.
(Another minute has passed since I typed that.)
You can't even call Wednesday a binge. It was flat out psychosis. Even more troubling, I'm talking about it in the past tense, even though I know it's still happening.
Tuesday was a great, great day. Back on the horse, had a ~1600 calorie day planned. Stupidly played with fire by bringing home more cookies, intent on having just one, and being in control of them, instead of the other way around. A cookie for dessert brought me up to ~1850 for the day. I typed it up, posted it here, and was feeling great about it. Cleaned up the kitchen, chilled on the couch for a short time, then headed off to bed, and thought that one more cookie would make a nice bedtime snack, and it will fit into my calorie target for the day. I pulled out a cookie, and filled my giant glass with filtered water from the fridge door dispenser...but it takes FOREVER to fill that big glass with that tiny nozzle, and that cookie was gone before the cup was full. So I grabbed ANOTHER to take to bed, as planned (laugh it up). As soon as it was in my hand, the "plan" went out the window. I ate a total of three, standing there in the kitchen, and took two upstairs with me (at 210 cals apiece). I knew if I didn't get out of that kitchen and into bed, the whole dozen was going to get me (yes, THEY were going to get ME, not the other way around), and this Genius Exit Strategy was going to mitigate the damage: I only ate half of 'em this time!
I just reread that paragraph and thought, "Dude, WHY do you have these things in the house???" And that's the part I just don't get. I *know* when I buy them that this is going to be the result. The obvious answer is, "Because you like them, you LOVE them, you're a big child, and you want to eat them," but I'm pretty sure that's not it. I'm sure this sounds like some form of denial, but when you read further, you might see my point.
Woke up Wednesday morning, and made a beeline for the cookies. I never eat the moment I wake up, I'm in the habit of pouring that first Diet Coke and putting off breakfast as long as I can, but I quickly annihilated the remaining half-dozen cookies. So much for mitigating damage, I merely postponed the inevitable a few hours. But at least they're gone now, I can put this behind me. Made the usual breakfast, really enjoyed it (tried a new brand of ham steak, it was honey ham, yum). As mentioned, skipped the second 2L of Diet Coke, had water with breakfast.
Hit the gym.
Cable rows = 3x12x130
pull throughs = 3x40x115 (40!)
side planks = 3x5x10 secs
step-ups = 3x15x50
Stopped at the store on the way home from gym to grab a few things. Couldn't find the caffeine pills. Pulled out my phone to check here and see if anyone answered my "What aisle are they in?" First answer was "usually by the pain relievers," but that was the first place I looked. Another answer was, "Target quit selling them." I was standing in a Target, naturally. Passed the candy aisle on the way to the checkout, made a detour. WHY? I DON'T UNDERSTAND. Made it out of the candy aisle without buying anything. No such luck at the checkout stand, though. Reached for the M&Ms, and saw they have a new M&Ms Chocolate bar. Oh, I'll try that....and a Dove bar, in case I don't like the new M&Ms bar.
I really should be locked up somewhere.
Tore open the M&Ms bar as soon as I started the car. It was awful. I didn't even want it. I should have opened the window and hurled it as far as I could. But I didn't. Even the Dove bar wasn't the least bit enjoyable, but I choked it down, too, didn't waste a crumb of it.
Got home, where thankfully there was nothing available to snack on (at least I didn't raid the ice cream sandwiches in the freezer). Showered, dressed, and headed into work.
Driving into work, I thought about stopping for a Caffeine Free Diet Coke, but I really didn't leave myself enough time to make a stop, I should just go straight to work. I drove past the gas station (which I should really start thinking of as The Cookie And Muffin Station), which should have settled the CFDC matter....but when I got to Burger King, I thought, "THEY have CFDC, I'll run in and grab one." I chose to run in because "CFDC with no ice" sounds unlikely to be executed properly at the drive-thru, I'd better go in and make it myself.
Now it's important to note that this stop might make me late for work. I'm NEVER late for work! Getting to work on time is incredibly important to me. But not today! Today, all of a sudden, for no good reason, stopping at Burger King became more important.
The reader won't be a bit surprised that my BK order was for more than a drink. I grabbed a Bacon Double Cheeseburger and a fry. I WAS NOT EVEN REMOTELY HUNGRY. And this is why I find this binge so disheartening. I wouldn't mind this behavior so much, if I could understand it. It's the not understanding it that's killing me!
I technically got to work on time, according to the time clock, but I was a minute or two late reporting to my first table because I needed to gather my bank/supplies. The bosses didn't say anything, they know they didn't need to.
Grabbed a muffin and a hot chocolate on my first break. Again, I wasn't remotely hungry.
Snack bar for lunch. They had salads all made up and ready to go, but that didn't interest me today--when you're this far down the hole, what's the point? Need something quick, though. The pre-made sandwiches looked terrible, and they were out of pizza for the moment, so I grabbed two tacos, and another muffin (WTF? I mean, WTeverlovingF???).
I had ZERO energy when I left work. "Looks like I picked the wrong day to cut my caffeine fix in half!" Or maybe it was all that carb poison. Either way, I don't feel like cooking, might as well slash that fourth tire and hit McD's on the way home. 20-pc Nugget and an Egg McMuffin (the burgers are just awful there). Hey, let's try the "put the hash brown inside the McMuffin" trick I read about in OOT. Eww, that was awful. Adding insult to injury, McD's no longer offers the Hot Mustard nugget sauce. That was my favorite thing about McD's!
And if all this doesn't sound tragic enough, you'd better prepare yourself for the finale. Seriously, go pour yourself a glass of water or something--I'm literally going to step away from the computer and do exactly that before I type what happened next:
(Another minute has passed since I typed that.)
You can't even call Wednesday a binge. It was flat out psychosis. Even more troubling, I'm talking about it in the past tense, even though I know it's still happening.
Tuesday was a great, great day. Back on the horse, had a ~1600 calorie day planned. Stupidly played with fire by bringing home more cookies, intent on having just one, and being in control of them, instead of the other way around. A cookie for dessert brought me up to ~1850 for the day. I typed it up, posted it here, and was feeling great about it. Cleaned up the kitchen, chilled on the couch for a short time, then headed off to bed, and thought that one more cookie would make a nice bedtime snack, and it will fit into my calorie target for the day. I pulled out a cookie, and filled my giant glass with filtered water from the fridge door dispenser...but it takes FOREVER to fill that big glass with that tiny nozzle, and that cookie was gone before the cup was full. So I grabbed ANOTHER to take to bed, as planned (laugh it up). As soon as it was in my hand, the "plan" went out the window. I ate a total of three, standing there in the kitchen, and took two upstairs with me (at 210 cals apiece). I knew if I didn't get out of that kitchen and into bed, the whole dozen was going to get me (yes, THEY were going to get ME, not the other way around), and this Genius Exit Strategy was going to mitigate the damage: I only ate half of 'em this time!
I just reread that paragraph and thought, "Dude, WHY do you have these things in the house???" And that's the part I just don't get. I *know* when I buy them that this is going to be the result. The obvious answer is, "Because you like them, you LOVE them, you're a big child, and you want to eat them," but I'm pretty sure that's not it. I'm sure this sounds like some form of denial, but when you read further, you might see my point.
Woke up Wednesday morning, and made a beeline for the cookies. I never eat the moment I wake up, I'm in the habit of pouring that first Diet Coke and putting off breakfast as long as I can, but I quickly annihilated the remaining half-dozen cookies. So much for mitigating damage, I merely postponed the inevitable a few hours. But at least they're gone now, I can put this behind me. Made the usual breakfast, really enjoyed it (tried a new brand of ham steak, it was honey ham, yum). As mentioned, skipped the second 2L of Diet Coke, had water with breakfast.
Hit the gym.
Cable rows = 3x12x130
pull throughs = 3x40x115 (40!)
side planks = 3x5x10 secs
step-ups = 3x15x50
Stopped at the store on the way home from gym to grab a few things. Couldn't find the caffeine pills. Pulled out my phone to check here and see if anyone answered my "What aisle are they in?" First answer was "usually by the pain relievers," but that was the first place I looked. Another answer was, "Target quit selling them." I was standing in a Target, naturally. Passed the candy aisle on the way to the checkout, made a detour. WHY? I DON'T UNDERSTAND. Made it out of the candy aisle without buying anything. No such luck at the checkout stand, though. Reached for the M&Ms, and saw they have a new M&Ms Chocolate bar. Oh, I'll try that....and a Dove bar, in case I don't like the new M&Ms bar.
I really should be locked up somewhere.
Tore open the M&Ms bar as soon as I started the car. It was awful. I didn't even want it. I should have opened the window and hurled it as far as I could. But I didn't. Even the Dove bar wasn't the least bit enjoyable, but I choked it down, too, didn't waste a crumb of it.
Got home, where thankfully there was nothing available to snack on (at least I didn't raid the ice cream sandwiches in the freezer). Showered, dressed, and headed into work.
Driving into work, I thought about stopping for a Caffeine Free Diet Coke, but I really didn't leave myself enough time to make a stop, I should just go straight to work. I drove past the gas station (which I should really start thinking of as The Cookie And Muffin Station), which should have settled the CFDC matter....but when I got to Burger King, I thought, "THEY have CFDC, I'll run in and grab one." I chose to run in because "CFDC with no ice" sounds unlikely to be executed properly at the drive-thru, I'd better go in and make it myself.
Now it's important to note that this stop might make me late for work. I'm NEVER late for work! Getting to work on time is incredibly important to me. But not today! Today, all of a sudden, for no good reason, stopping at Burger King became more important.
The reader won't be a bit surprised that my BK order was for more than a drink. I grabbed a Bacon Double Cheeseburger and a fry. I WAS NOT EVEN REMOTELY HUNGRY. And this is why I find this binge so disheartening. I wouldn't mind this behavior so much, if I could understand it. It's the not understanding it that's killing me!
I technically got to work on time, according to the time clock, but I was a minute or two late reporting to my first table because I needed to gather my bank/supplies. The bosses didn't say anything, they know they didn't need to.
Grabbed a muffin and a hot chocolate on my first break. Again, I wasn't remotely hungry.
Snack bar for lunch. They had salads all made up and ready to go, but that didn't interest me today--when you're this far down the hole, what's the point? Need something quick, though. The pre-made sandwiches looked terrible, and they were out of pizza for the moment, so I grabbed two tacos, and another muffin (WTF? I mean, WTeverlovingF???).
I had ZERO energy when I left work. "Looks like I picked the wrong day to cut my caffeine fix in half!" Or maybe it was all that carb poison. Either way, I don't feel like cooking, might as well slash that fourth tire and hit McD's on the way home. 20-pc Nugget and an Egg McMuffin (the burgers are just awful there). Hey, let's try the "put the hash brown inside the McMuffin" trick I read about in OOT. Eww, that was awful. Adding insult to injury, McD's no longer offers the Hot Mustard nugget sauce. That was my favorite thing about McD's!
And if all this doesn't sound tragic enough, you'd better prepare yourself for the finale. Seriously, go pour yourself a glass of water or something--I'm literally going to step away from the computer and do exactly that before I type what happened next:
Spoiler:
Quote:
ytf,
Binge cliffs:
Tuesday
~1600 calorie day planned
cookie for dessert
one more cookie
grabbed ANOTHER
ate a total of three, standing there in the kitchen
took two upstairs with me
only ate half of 'em this time!
Woke up Wednesday morning
annihilated the remaining half-dozen cookies.
usual breakfast
water with breakfast
new M&Ms Chocolate bar
and a Dove bar
a Bacon Double Cheeseburger
a fry
a muffin
a hot chocolate
grabbed two tacos
another muffin
20-pc Nugget
an Egg McMuffin
hash brown inside the McMuffin
I got 'em all. A donut, two muffins, and another dozen cookies.
Donut was gone before I got out of the parking lot
Cookies choke down four of them by the time I got home.
microwaving two before bed
Woke up today
Ate four cookies
a muffin
Edit: Guesstimating ~7500 calories for Weds!
So does this mean you have two cookies and a muffin waiting for you at home?
Binge cliffs:
Tuesday
~1600 calorie day planned
cookie for dessert
one more cookie
grabbed ANOTHER
ate a total of three, standing there in the kitchen
took two upstairs with me
only ate half of 'em this time!
Woke up Wednesday morning
annihilated the remaining half-dozen cookies.
usual breakfast
water with breakfast
new M&Ms Chocolate bar
and a Dove bar
a Bacon Double Cheeseburger
a fry
a muffin
a hot chocolate
grabbed two tacos
another muffin
20-pc Nugget
an Egg McMuffin
hash brown inside the McMuffin
I got 'em all. A donut, two muffins, and another dozen cookies.
Donut was gone before I got out of the parking lot
Cookies choke down four of them by the time I got home.
microwaving two before bed
Woke up today
Ate four cookies
a muffin
Edit: Guesstimating ~7500 calories for Weds!
So does this mean you have two cookies and a muffin waiting for you at home?
Quote:
(Brace yourself for disappointment, Cha. Cliffs at the bottom)
TUESDAY
Oh, what a day. One for the ages, packed with highs and lows.
I wake up, take a leak, and step on the scale: 182.4? First, it's awesome to hit another all-time low...but do I really want to have a cheat day when I'm just two pounds away?
I go back to bed, ponder this, and decide that if I do it now, it will be a Cheat Day, but if I do it AFTER I hit the mark, it will be a Cheat WEEK, so today is the day. I've got an apartment to look at at 12:30, my back-up plan in case the place I applied to on Friday turns me down. I've already had one landlord pass on me:
So the only planning I had done for Cheat Day was to hit the Pizza Hut buffet for breakfast, on the way to this 12:30 appointment. They only do the buffet from 11a-1p, and I thought it would be a good way to get a taste of pizza and pasta on cheat day without buying a whole pizza and a whole order of pasta.
But that plan was scuttled when I unexpectedly woke up just after 10:00 AM. I never wake up that early. But I've been sleeping less and less lately (I used to sleep 9-10 hrs/night when I was obese, now it's more like 7-8), and waking up earlier and earlier. Any way, since I'm up THIS early, and on a Cheat Day, this looks like a glittering opportunity to try some Taco Bell breakfast.
I walked into the place, there was one guy in the dining room eating.
YTF: Hey pal, how's the breakfast?
DINER: (looks up) Dude, it's awesome!
I browse the menu, and every single thing looks spectacular. "I just want to order one of each!", I think aloud. Well I'm definitely getting the Waffle Taco w/sausage. The crunch wrap thing looks good, I'll get that with bacon. Sides? I can get a combo, it comes with a choice of hash browns or Cinnabon Bites. Those things are SPECTACULAR, they're golf-ball sized, deep fried dough covered with cinnamon sugar and a warm creamy filling. I can't decide, so:
"May I please have a #14 with a hash brown, and a #15 with the Cinnabon Bites?"
Waffle Taco thing was OK, it probably had no chance of ever meeting my sky-high expectations. But the crunch wrap faced no such hurdle to clear, and dude, it WAS awesome....but when I bit into that Cinnabon thing at the end of the meal, my head exploded from all that sugar and fat. I savored, wished for more, and since it's only a buck-and-a-half for a four-piece, went back for more.
I left Taco Bell, and still had an hour to kill before my appointment....and it's buffet time at Pizza Hut...and it's Cheat Day, there's no rules today, anything goes...I'll just have a few slices and a taste of pasta, maybe a dessert bread stick or two...
I probably ate a little more than half a pizza (various crusts), only one small scoop of pasta (they don't put the meaty marinara pasta out for buffet diners, the cheap bastards!), a few bread sticks, and a few dessert bread sticks (MORE sugar, I was FLYING by now!).
As I drove out of Pizza Hut towards my 12:30 appointment, I caught my reflection for a moment, and noticed a big, goofy grin on my face. I was already pretty psyched about 182, and now coupled with a sugar high, I was euphoric, and I actually thought, "This is what winning the lottery must feel like. Seriously, I'll bet Power Ball winners just walk around, stunned that it's happened to them, unable to wipe the smiles off their faces."
Then I took that thought a step further: mine must be BETTER than a Power Ball hit, because if a 380-lb guy offered me $100M to trade with him, I'd turn him down. What I was feeling at that moment, I would not trade for $100,000,000. Can you imagine that???
The 12:30 showing was a disappointment. The apartment was nearly as nice on the inside as it appeared on the outside, and the garage spot wasn't included in the rent, and paying for it meant that this place wasn't the great deal I thought it was. But again, I might need them as a backup plan, so I took an application.
From there, I stopped at the office of the apartment complex I was waiting to hear back from, and there I got the bad news: application denied. I also learned that either on my credit report or my background check that there is a courthouse record of my ex-wife's eviction. Of course, it doesn't say her name on there, it says mine. So I'm not only not getting THIS apartment, I'm not getting ANY apartment that looks into my history. You gotta be kidding me. What am I going to do now? There's no way I can remedy this before it's time to bring the kids up here.
My Inner Child was not amused.
My Outer Child drove us to the gas station.
My Adult Self looked on and said, "It's OK, go ahead to the gas station, I could go for some chocolate chip muffins on Cheat Day, any way!" I grabbed a cookie (there was only one left, or I would have gotten two), a doughnut, and two huge muffins....and since I know you're curious, I ate the cookie before putting the car in gear, and ate the doughnut on the short drive home. Ate the muffins while browsing the internet for options.
Decided to check the Vacation Rentals listings on Craigs List, and actually found a few viable options. It actually might make even more sense to rent an expensive furnished place for the summer, then go back to living with roommates after the kids leave. Yeah, it's going to suck to pay an extra $1k/mo for rent for three months, but if I had gotten this apartment, I would have been paying close to an extra $300/mo in rent year-round, plus an electric bill, a heating bill, a cable/internet bill, the cost of furniture...on the whole, I might be better off that I didn't get these apartments!
Homeowner/roommate (HOR) came home from work. I asked him if it would be a problem if I moved out at the end of May, instead of the end of April as planned. No problem at all. Sweet! I told him my fat friend from back home was coming for a week in May, and asked if he'd mind if that guy stayed with us for a week? No problem. PHEW! This is enormous! I was immediately relieved of the Ticking Clock problem of finding a place by the end of April, or even before my friend's visit in mid-May.
I asked HOR how his search was going for tenants for the two rooms he's trying to rent out (my room, and ADR's room). He said he's got a student who's coming for the summer for an internship, and there's a second guy who MIGHT be in the running, who is also coming just for the summer to work at the racetrack's summer meet. It seemed that only the student was likely to come, and he wanted ADR's room (it's bigger, and comes with a garage spot).
I mention that because after he left, it occurred to me that maybe after the kids go back to school at the end of summer, moving back in here with these guys might be an option for me. That would be pretty sweet, I really wasn't looking forward to living by myself year-round. These guys have been like a surrogate family for me.
When HOR returned a few minutes later, he beat me to the punch and asked if I'd want to move back in here at the end of the summer! This is delightful! Everything is working out great! I was flying high again! I went from high this morning, to down in the dumps, back to flying high, all in a few hours. Wow.
Spent the rest of the afternoon websurfing for a summer place, and snacking on the Cadbury mini-eggs that Downstairs Roommate (DSR) had left on the table. I only meant to have a couple, but I ate most of the large bag.
Time to grab some lunch before a big karaoke night. I couldn't decide between KFC (I've been craving some fried chicken for weeks now) or the Chinese buffet, so I decided that like breakfast, I should do another double-header. First stop KFC: 3-piece chicken strips with baked beans and mashed potatoes/gravy and biscuit, and a slice of Oreo pie. Meh. I was surprised that it filled me up, so I never made it to the Chinese buffet. Surprised? I've been stuffing my face all day!
Off to karaoke. It didn't go well. My friends arrived first, and picked a table near the stage, where it's so loud that you have to scream to hear each other. All this screaming killed my voice, and on a night where I was hoping to showcase for my friend my new-found higher register. You do two songs on each turn at this place, and my second turn's two songs were super-high (Leave a Tender Moment Alone and Downeaster Alexa), and my voice was cracking pathetically like Peter Brady going through puberty. Hey, some nights you've got it, some night you don't. Five beers at karaoke.
Closing time for everyone else is dinner time for me, and I didn't have anything at home to make. Also, I was exhausted. There's a 24-hour McDonalds next to the karaoke joint, but they closed up this one night for cleaning or something. Just my luck! I hit the grocery store and bought a foot-long sub, a small bag of chips...and a chocolate ring cake. I was full after half the sub, but I ate the whole thing. And half the cake.
I went to bed with a sore belly. Got up to pee a few hours later, and almost puked. Drank some water and went back to bed.
(No, I'm not tallying that up. I really don't care.)
CLIFF NOTES:
TACO BELL:
Waffle Taco with sausage, syrup.
Cruchwrap with bacon
hash brown
6 Cinnabon Bites
PIZZA HUT:
half a large pizza (various toppings/crusts)
3-4 bread sticks
small scoop of cheesy pasta
sauce
3 dessert bread sticks
SUPER AMERICA:
cookie
donut
2 muffins
HOME:
large bag Cadbury mini-eggs
KFC
3 pc chicken strips, Original Recipe
mashed potatoes/gravy
baked beans
biscuit
KARAOKE
five Lite beers
CUB
foot-long three-meat sub (ham/turkey/roast beef)
four mayo packs
small bag chips
half a chocolate ring cake
TUESDAY
Oh, what a day. One for the ages, packed with highs and lows.
I wake up, take a leak, and step on the scale: 182.4? First, it's awesome to hit another all-time low...but do I really want to have a cheat day when I'm just two pounds away?
I go back to bed, ponder this, and decide that if I do it now, it will be a Cheat Day, but if I do it AFTER I hit the mark, it will be a Cheat WEEK, so today is the day. I've got an apartment to look at at 12:30, my back-up plan in case the place I applied to on Friday turns me down. I've already had one landlord pass on me:
So the only planning I had done for Cheat Day was to hit the Pizza Hut buffet for breakfast, on the way to this 12:30 appointment. They only do the buffet from 11a-1p, and I thought it would be a good way to get a taste of pizza and pasta on cheat day without buying a whole pizza and a whole order of pasta.
But that plan was scuttled when I unexpectedly woke up just after 10:00 AM. I never wake up that early. But I've been sleeping less and less lately (I used to sleep 9-10 hrs/night when I was obese, now it's more like 7-8), and waking up earlier and earlier. Any way, since I'm up THIS early, and on a Cheat Day, this looks like a glittering opportunity to try some Taco Bell breakfast.
I walked into the place, there was one guy in the dining room eating.
YTF: Hey pal, how's the breakfast?
DINER: (looks up) Dude, it's awesome!
I browse the menu, and every single thing looks spectacular. "I just want to order one of each!", I think aloud. Well I'm definitely getting the Waffle Taco w/sausage. The crunch wrap thing looks good, I'll get that with bacon. Sides? I can get a combo, it comes with a choice of hash browns or Cinnabon Bites. Those things are SPECTACULAR, they're golf-ball sized, deep fried dough covered with cinnamon sugar and a warm creamy filling. I can't decide, so:
"May I please have a #14 with a hash brown, and a #15 with the Cinnabon Bites?"
Waffle Taco thing was OK, it probably had no chance of ever meeting my sky-high expectations. But the crunch wrap faced no such hurdle to clear, and dude, it WAS awesome....but when I bit into that Cinnabon thing at the end of the meal, my head exploded from all that sugar and fat. I savored, wished for more, and since it's only a buck-and-a-half for a four-piece, went back for more.
I left Taco Bell, and still had an hour to kill before my appointment....and it's buffet time at Pizza Hut...and it's Cheat Day, there's no rules today, anything goes...I'll just have a few slices and a taste of pasta, maybe a dessert bread stick or two...
I probably ate a little more than half a pizza (various crusts), only one small scoop of pasta (they don't put the meaty marinara pasta out for buffet diners, the cheap bastards!), a few bread sticks, and a few dessert bread sticks (MORE sugar, I was FLYING by now!).
As I drove out of Pizza Hut towards my 12:30 appointment, I caught my reflection for a moment, and noticed a big, goofy grin on my face. I was already pretty psyched about 182, and now coupled with a sugar high, I was euphoric, and I actually thought, "This is what winning the lottery must feel like. Seriously, I'll bet Power Ball winners just walk around, stunned that it's happened to them, unable to wipe the smiles off their faces."
Then I took that thought a step further: mine must be BETTER than a Power Ball hit, because if a 380-lb guy offered me $100M to trade with him, I'd turn him down. What I was feeling at that moment, I would not trade for $100,000,000. Can you imagine that???
The 12:30 showing was a disappointment. The apartment was nearly as nice on the inside as it appeared on the outside, and the garage spot wasn't included in the rent, and paying for it meant that this place wasn't the great deal I thought it was. But again, I might need them as a backup plan, so I took an application.
From there, I stopped at the office of the apartment complex I was waiting to hear back from, and there I got the bad news: application denied. I also learned that either on my credit report or my background check that there is a courthouse record of my ex-wife's eviction. Of course, it doesn't say her name on there, it says mine. So I'm not only not getting THIS apartment, I'm not getting ANY apartment that looks into my history. You gotta be kidding me. What am I going to do now? There's no way I can remedy this before it's time to bring the kids up here.
My Inner Child was not amused.
My Outer Child drove us to the gas station.
My Adult Self looked on and said, "It's OK, go ahead to the gas station, I could go for some chocolate chip muffins on Cheat Day, any way!" I grabbed a cookie (there was only one left, or I would have gotten two), a doughnut, and two huge muffins....and since I know you're curious, I ate the cookie before putting the car in gear, and ate the doughnut on the short drive home. Ate the muffins while browsing the internet for options.
Decided to check the Vacation Rentals listings on Craigs List, and actually found a few viable options. It actually might make even more sense to rent an expensive furnished place for the summer, then go back to living with roommates after the kids leave. Yeah, it's going to suck to pay an extra $1k/mo for rent for three months, but if I had gotten this apartment, I would have been paying close to an extra $300/mo in rent year-round, plus an electric bill, a heating bill, a cable/internet bill, the cost of furniture...on the whole, I might be better off that I didn't get these apartments!
Homeowner/roommate (HOR) came home from work. I asked him if it would be a problem if I moved out at the end of May, instead of the end of April as planned. No problem at all. Sweet! I told him my fat friend from back home was coming for a week in May, and asked if he'd mind if that guy stayed with us for a week? No problem. PHEW! This is enormous! I was immediately relieved of the Ticking Clock problem of finding a place by the end of April, or even before my friend's visit in mid-May.
I asked HOR how his search was going for tenants for the two rooms he's trying to rent out (my room, and ADR's room). He said he's got a student who's coming for the summer for an internship, and there's a second guy who MIGHT be in the running, who is also coming just for the summer to work at the racetrack's summer meet. It seemed that only the student was likely to come, and he wanted ADR's room (it's bigger, and comes with a garage spot).
I mention that because after he left, it occurred to me that maybe after the kids go back to school at the end of summer, moving back in here with these guys might be an option for me. That would be pretty sweet, I really wasn't looking forward to living by myself year-round. These guys have been like a surrogate family for me.
When HOR returned a few minutes later, he beat me to the punch and asked if I'd want to move back in here at the end of the summer! This is delightful! Everything is working out great! I was flying high again! I went from high this morning, to down in the dumps, back to flying high, all in a few hours. Wow.
Spent the rest of the afternoon websurfing for a summer place, and snacking on the Cadbury mini-eggs that Downstairs Roommate (DSR) had left on the table. I only meant to have a couple, but I ate most of the large bag.
Time to grab some lunch before a big karaoke night. I couldn't decide between KFC (I've been craving some fried chicken for weeks now) or the Chinese buffet, so I decided that like breakfast, I should do another double-header. First stop KFC: 3-piece chicken strips with baked beans and mashed potatoes/gravy and biscuit, and a slice of Oreo pie. Meh. I was surprised that it filled me up, so I never made it to the Chinese buffet. Surprised? I've been stuffing my face all day!
Off to karaoke. It didn't go well. My friends arrived first, and picked a table near the stage, where it's so loud that you have to scream to hear each other. All this screaming killed my voice, and on a night where I was hoping to showcase for my friend my new-found higher register. You do two songs on each turn at this place, and my second turn's two songs were super-high (Leave a Tender Moment Alone and Downeaster Alexa), and my voice was cracking pathetically like Peter Brady going through puberty. Hey, some nights you've got it, some night you don't. Five beers at karaoke.
Closing time for everyone else is dinner time for me, and I didn't have anything at home to make. Also, I was exhausted. There's a 24-hour McDonalds next to the karaoke joint, but they closed up this one night for cleaning or something. Just my luck! I hit the grocery store and bought a foot-long sub, a small bag of chips...and a chocolate ring cake. I was full after half the sub, but I ate the whole thing. And half the cake.
I went to bed with a sore belly. Got up to pee a few hours later, and almost puked. Drank some water and went back to bed.
(No, I'm not tallying that up. I really don't care.)
CLIFF NOTES:
TACO BELL:
Waffle Taco with sausage, syrup.
Cruchwrap with bacon
hash brown
6 Cinnabon Bites
PIZZA HUT:
half a large pizza (various toppings/crusts)
3-4 bread sticks
small scoop of cheesy pasta
sauce
3 dessert bread sticks
SUPER AMERICA:
cookie
donut
2 muffins
HOME:
large bag Cadbury mini-eggs
KFC
3 pc chicken strips, Original Recipe
mashed potatoes/gravy
baked beans
biscuit
KARAOKE
five Lite beers
CUB
foot-long three-meat sub (ham/turkey/roast beef)
four mayo packs
small bag chips
half a chocolate ring cake
Quote:
Ytf,
Awesome. Bummer that you didn't get to hit the Chinese buffet as planned!
I ballparked your Cliffs at 8500 cals. Are you going to log this?
Also, please provide some times for when the entries in the Cliffs happened.
Edit: phat, nice, that's right at my guesstimate though I underestimated some of the fast food and went higher on the pizza and gas station numbers. Feels about right, though.
Awesome. Bummer that you didn't get to hit the Chinese buffet as planned!
I ballparked your Cliffs at 8500 cals. Are you going to log this?
Also, please provide some times for when the entries in the Cliffs happened.
Edit: phat, nice, that's right at my guesstimate though I underestimated some of the fast food and went higher on the pizza and gas station numbers. Feels about right, though.
Quote:
Cheat day
Regular people: "Great, I'll use this day for some more calorie-heavy dishes such as pancakes for breakfast, and rib-eyes fried in butter, ribs or perhaps pizza later. I'll also grab a nice, non-diet dessert after dinner. Perhaps I'll eat a pack of cookies or something during the day".
YTF: "[Cheat day = How Many Calories Can You Stuff Down Your Throat?] Challenge accepted!"
Regular people: "Great, I'll use this day for some more calorie-heavy dishes such as pancakes for breakfast, and rib-eyes fried in butter, ribs or perhaps pizza later. I'll also grab a nice, non-diet dessert after dinner. Perhaps I'll eat a pack of cookies or something during the day".
YTF: "[Cheat day = How Many Calories Can You Stuff Down Your Throat?] Challenge accepted!"
Quote:
I laughed really, really, hard after reading about you eating a double Taco Bell breakfast order AND Pizza Hut buffet, like 4 gas station pastries, a whole bag of Cadbury eggs and then this -
"Well, time to grab some lunch-"
I hope you never have a "Cheat Week". You'd probably eat like 50000 calories and instantly get diabetes.
"Well, time to grab some lunch-"
I hope you never have a "Cheat Week". You'd probably eat like 50000 calories and instantly get diabetes.
06-18-2019
, 10:26 PM
