So nice looking blonde girl i posted pic of, texted me inviting me to a film about the life of a pornstar and I might do the switcheroo on womenfolk and reject her because I like my cute blonde nurse so much...

also slightly odd blonde foreign stalker girl who isn't bad looking is now asking for a 'casual chat' over coffee. fourth blonde (other pic) I'm still debating getting back to. There's also an Italian blonde (unusual) who says she wants to go out with me in September when she gets back from Italy and the second weirdo blonde who doesn't say anything in her messages, agreed to a date but is now off in Ibiza so that one's a no-no. I dunno what it is about blondes but jesus, variance.

When will men learn... skip the blondes & go for the brunettes!!

Yowsa, just out of interest do you actually play poker or did you find this forum via a Google search?

No I'm not a poker player. I was looking for some insight into online dating & found this thread.

We're in Naples. She's been remote. Met up with my cousin and she seemed to get along better with her than me. Cousin wants to come to Miami too.


We're at dinner now.

She's 27. Kids 6 and 1. Met her years ago when I was living in Des Moines. Her kids are half black, so yes. I'm pretty sure she only dates black guys

Guys what do we know about white girls who love to date black guys?

Big shoes?

amazin,

Could you give us some more detail on the discussion/invitation for her to come visit you? It's starting to sound like there may have been a big miscommunication here and she thought she was being invited out to have a fun trip hanging out w/ a friend.

I'm getting pretty POd now. This girl has not offered to pay for 1 thing and we've been out 3 times. You think you're going to fly down here, wine and dine on my hard earned cash and refuse to give up any ass? GTFO

Diablo, she knew I was interested sexually when she came down here. She can give me that bull**** but she knows what the deal was

I want to know more about how you randomly started pawing at her as your initial move. I feel like it's entirely possible she planned on banging you and then **** got weird

ding ding ding!

We were laying on the couch. I just started feeling her up and she didn't push me away, but she also didn't initiate anything. Just laid there. Then I went in for the kiss and she turned her head away and gave me the "I'm not looking for a 3 day fling" spiel.

amazin,

"We were laying on the couch. I just started feeling her up"

By "feeling up" do you mean her boobs, or just like caressing her body in general?

The latter.

amazin,

Definitely sounding like you might not have built up to that well w/ flirting and stuff prior to the laying on the couch. This sounds sorta like junior high/high school to be honest, where you do some stuff and then finally you're sitting next to each other kind of awkwardly, and you go for a "move." That's just not how it usually works as an adult, and I can definitely see how that would make her feel uncomfortable.

I think she likely came into this w/ a "who knows what might happen" type attitude, and your attitude and actions may have come off as ambiguous. Like, earlier you just went and hung out at the casino, right? Didn't sound like that had much date-y or flirty vibe to it the way you described it, so she prob was feeling like OK, this is more of a fun friends hangout weekend. Then at some point you abruptly flipped the switch into sexual mode, and that prob caught her off guard and made her uncomfortable.

I still think you have time to recover, though I'm not sure what the deal is w/ your cousin in the picture now. Hopefully you have time to make her feel special again and start things over, building up from a little light flirting to start.

We're all rooting for you, amazin!

I agree that amazin probably didn't handle this well, but let's look at it from her point of view. A guy invites you down to FL and agrees to pay half your airfare and you're staying at his place, isn't she going to assume this is more than just friends situation? Unless they've been platonic friends for a very long time, that's not a normal situation. I don't pay for my friends to visit me. I'm quite certain that if she were to post in OOT about a man offering to pay half her airfare to come down and visit him everyone would be saying something along the lines of "Only go if you want to have sex with him b/c this is basically a long-distance booty call." It just seems really weird to me that she would come down and not expect to have sex with him. Of course, that leads us back to amazin screwing up royally or she's socially inept.

My guess is that if she'd had to pay her own way down there, she wouldn't have visited you. I kinda think she just saw a free vacation & told you what you needed to hear to pay for her ticket. I could be wrong....

I also think you should stop paying for things for women until/unless you're actually in a relationship & you really WANT to buy them something. Don't let women use you

Unless she is autistic/extreeeeeeeeeeeemely naive she realised full well that it was a booty call. Whether she intended to actually bang him or was just taking advantage is a different question. She'd have to a humongous bitch to deliberately lead you on, so the most likely scenario is she planned to/wanted to put out but amazin didn't seal the deal well enough. Guilting her in to putting out probably won't work (and is scummy) so just take her out somewhere more datish and flirt with her. E.g take her to a cocktail bar where you can sit next to her in a booth while she gets drunk. Play it nice and cool, make lots of eye contact, touch her hair, try to talk about sex/work innuendo in if the moment is right. Then move somewhere where you can dance. More touching and move in for a kiss. Then 'let's go back to mine', smash her, post a trip report.

dale,

Obv a rational person understands the general implications/expectations of this sort of thing. But based on the few facts we have about her so far, I'm going to stereotype her as maybe not the sharpest tool in the shed - or at least maybe not someone who's great at thinking through decisions well.

Also, hot chicks often have some crazy delusional thought processes. Here's an example from a few years ago. This friend of mine who I used to hook up w/ from time to time, really hot blond chick in New York, asks me if I want to go snowboarding in Vail w/ her. I say maybe and ask for details. She says a friend has invited us and some other friends to stay at his sweet place in Vail Village. I ask what the deal is, and apparently it's some rich i-banker who spends most of his winters there. I then ask her to confirm that it's cool for her to bring a date, and she does and assures me that's the case, so I go on the trip.

When I get there, it's clear that the dude is a little surprised she's with a guy. I then ask her wtf and she shows me the email thread, where she just says something like "a friend of mine might be interested too, would that be cool?" and he says sure and that there will be a couple other friends of his there too, but it's just completely clear he's expecting to bang her on this trip and is assuming this is a female friend. The backstory was this was some dude she met chatting her up at a bar who then got drinks w/ her a couple more times but nothing happened, then he invited her to come to his ski house. 100% obvious to anyone hearing the story or reading the emails what the expectations were, but she insisted that was not the case at all.

Dude turned out to be very cool, though, and I ended up snowboarding w/ him most of the trip because the girl sucked really bad at snowboarding even though she insisted when I pressed her on it before the trip that she was really good.

I think she's just taking advantage, she just laid there on the couch earlier while he was fondling her? She has 2 young kids, a guy offers to pay her way so she can have a mini vacation? All she has to do is pretend she's interested & he foots the bill, she has nothing to lose by taking him up on his offer.

Diablo - who banged her?

PG: I did! She was mad at me the whole time for not snowboarding w/ her, though. But I told her repeatedly prior to the trip that I was only interested in snowboarding w/ her if she was decent at it and she 100% lied to me about that.

yow: I mean, maybe she's full on taking advantage. But I know a number of hot chicks who are given so much stuff for free that they start believing it's just completely normal for everyone to give them everything, because that's just what people do.

Update: she and my cousin have hit it off. They're completely ignoring me and we're about 10 miles from Miami.

I hope you're right, for his sake. I've never been a "hot chick" so I've never dealt with that. But I've been in situations where sex is implied or suggested & either I've said "sorry, can't do it because...." or I've been all in.

And I don't like amazin being used for his (lack of) money, it seems like that's been a pattern for him & it really has to stop!